Chanyeol:

As happy as I was last night, when I wake up the following morning I feel… so many things. Mostly I'm afraid that Baekhyun will wake up and remember what happened last night, and when I'm not worrying about that I'm wondering what the hell this means?!

Baekhyun was so affectionate towards me. He even said my NAME and he said it OUT LOUD! There was no confusion there, he really did say those things to me.

I sit on my bed and glance over at my alarm clock. 6:59 a.m. I left Baekhyun's at almost 3 a.m. last night. The little sleep that I do get is shallow and full of images of my Baekhyun.

I can't stay asleep for the life of me. I'm exhausted, but I swing my legs over the side of my bed, committing to this day, no matter how tired I am.

I close my eyes and see Baekhyun's sweet face, my hand in his… "Stay…"

I actually shake my head to try and clear those thoughts. No. No no no. I need to stop this RIGHT NOW. He was sleepy, he was drunk, he was everything that a person is when they're having the drunk equivalent to a fever dream!

But… he didn't just say stay, he also said my name. I can hear it, committing it to memory: his tiny musical voice saying my name.

So. What now? I have at least twelve hours to figure something out before I am supposed to pick him up. I have to come up with something!

I shake my head violently back and forth banishing the sudden thoughts that springs up in my mind. 'He… was… drunk. He didn't understand what he was saying, or what he was DOING!'

Again my mind drifts back to my fingertips on his soft lips. The lips of an Angel… his eyes were barely open, but they were open, his eyes… boring into mine…

I play confident in person, to most people, but I just can't be anyone but myself around Baekhyun. He sees me for who I really am. Not the assured, self confident rapper that everyone else sees. He sees me, sees my insecurities, my doubts. He sees the real Chanyeol.

I slide down the edge of my bed, down to the side, to the floor. And there I sit, my head in my hands.

'Okay. The song is almost ready. I present it to him, and gauge his reaction…' I decide.

I'm not sure how long I sit there, still in my pajamas, a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. I look down at myself, I'm no Kai … or even Suho, but I look at my defined enough abs. 'What would Baekhyun think?' I silently wonder to myself.

It's nothing he hasn't seen before. That's normal when you all spend so much time together. Training, studio sessions, dance practices, music video shoots, concerts. I can tell you what each one of the members looks like under all those clothes, I'm sure that they would say the same thing about me.

'Then why does it feel so different?' I'm still sitting there, my head in my hands when my phone rings and startles me out of my reverie. I pick my phone off the charger from my bedside table; the time reads 8:17 am.

'Holy shit. I've been sitting here ruminating over this for more than an hour.' I think silently.

I click my phone screen on and I'm immediately on my feet in two blinks of an eye.

'Byun Baekhyun'

It reads, the screen full of a photo of him laughing, his eyes just slits and his mouth upturned showing his white teeth. Why is he calling? Why is he awake so early?! Why, why, why?!

Can I just… not answer? It would make sense for me to still be asleep after our late night. But he compels me, his photo… I don't even care about the consequences, I have to answer. I can't deny this man anything. And each day he just enchants me more and more.

It's close to going to voicemail, but I pick up just in time:

Chanyeol: "Hello?"

Baekhyun: "Channie? I'm sorry. Did I wakeyou up?"

Chanyeol:"No actually I've been up. I couldn't sleep."

Baekhyun: "Did you work on our song?"

'No… no I didn't. But it's finished. It has been for weeks.' But I can't say that.

Chanyeol: "Yeah it's damn near ready actually."

Baekhyun: "..." he hesitates.

Chanyeol: "Baekhyun? Is something wrong?"

Baekhyun: "No. Well... I'm not sure. But… Can you come over? I know it's early, I know I'm asking a lot if you haven't slept, but-"

Chanyeol: "I'll be right there. Is there anything you need?"

Baekhyun: "Maybe some caffeine?"

Chanyeol: "I'll be there within the hour.

Baekhyun: "Are you sure?"

Chanyeol: "Yeah. Let me change real quick. I'll be there soon. It's going to be okay."

Baekhyun: "Thank you, Channie."

Chanyeol: "No problem. See ya soon."

I hang up and then collapse backwards onto my bed. What the…?

'Okay, Chanyeol, breathe. Breathe… it's all going to be okay.'

I dress quickly. I put on a fresh pair of joggers, a T-shirt and a thin jacket. I sit by the front elevator putting on a simple pair of tennis shoes, pressing the button of the elevator and it's on its way to the top floor.

But something stops me… I move slowly backwards into the apartment and turn around until I find myself standing in the doorway to the studio. I'm not sure what I'm thinking when I march to the corner and grab my guitar, flip it into the case, and take it out and stand in front of the elevator. It opens as soon as I'm in front of it, and I step in, pressing the button to the parking garage.

Down down down, and with my guitar in one hand and Baekhyun's song in the other, I slide into my car, my mind full of nothing but static.

A quick coffee run, and I'm in front of Baekhyun's apartment building. I inhale and exhale deeply before I exit the car. I put the flash drive of Bae's song in my pocket, a styrofoam cup-holder of coffee in one hand, my guitar case in the other and head in.

I make my way up to Baekhyun's unit and stop fast. I lean my guitar case up against the hallway wall, take a few shaky breaths and then knock on the door.