Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.
Chapter Thirteen
I've been back at my house only a few minutes having spent the morning at the police station answering questions and then making sure Christine is with someone. The media was out full force when I walked in and my answering machine is full I stopped playing the messages when the first two were requests for comment, obviously the news of Jack McKay's demise is the major story of the day.
I'm feeling fucking lost as I try and figure out what to do next. Christine is making the arrangements for the memorial on Sunday at the funeral home, and I'm left to call Iris. The knock at the door startles me from my internal writing of a to do list. As I swing open the door ready to yell at the reporter I'm surprised to see it's Brandon.
I drag him inside, "B?"
"She thought your line just went dead and when she kept getting a busy signal when she rang back she thought there was a fault with the boats line. It wasn't till we heard the breaking news as we were pulling into the school carpark did we understand. We went to the dock but it was roped off with police and reporters everywhere, and then we tried here but no one was home. She's waiting at home for you not knowing where else to go and not wanting to be away from the phone in case you called. I said I'd try and find you. I've checked the police station, the Bel Age and back here. Man I'm sorry I'm so sorry."
Brandon doesn't often ramble so I know he's genuine in his concern. He pulls me into a hug and I clap his back back. I'm too numb to register much of anything. When we break the hug he asks what I have needed all morning my anchor, "do you want me to bring her here man or you do want to come stay at Casa Walsh?"
"B, I don't know who did this-"
"Then she's not coming here. Let's get you a bag packed and see if we can lose these guy's before we can get you back to her."
I nod and move to my room grabbing stuff, though I'm not even sure what it is. He takes the bag and then we move into our separate car's choosing different way's to make the short trip to Casa Walsh. Luckily the reporter's weren't ready to follow and we make it up the driveway with our cars hidden from the street without incident. When I get out of the car I hear the back door open, one look at her sad eyes I'm no longer numb I feel it all.
She's wrapped around me with my head buried in her hair as I shake and splatter tears throughout her hair. She doesn't say anything just holds me, anchors me to a safe space so I can feel it all. I'm not sure how long we stand there for but when my shaking decreases she draws back and looks at me. "Come on Baby let's get you inside and both of us out of these wet clothes." I didn't even realise the misty rain was back.
She guides me inside, passed the empty kitchen and straight up the stairs. I'm in her room and sitting on her bed in moments. "Where is everyone?"
"Dad's at work I assume, I don't know if he's heard, and Mum's at the recycling Center till one today. I assume she hasn't heard. Brandon I'm sure is in his room." She unbuttons my shirt, "you are pretty cold and wet, we were out there a long time. Do you want to have a shower?"
I look at her she's drenched as well, how long is a long time? How didn't I notice the rain? "Baby your drenched as well." She nods and grabs my hand and leads me to the bathroom where she locks Brandon's closed door. She then turns on the water and begins to take my clothes off and then her own. There is nothing sexual about the shower at all but it's full of caring comforting intimacy. I hold her against me for a long time just feeling the hot water and borrowing her strength. She eventually turns the water off and then we dry ourselves and each other, in a familiar dance we've done countless times. This time is different though, this time there's no giggles, tickling or striving for more, this time just having her like this taking care of each other is everything.
I sit in my towel as she quickly dresses into a jumper and track pants. It's an indication that she's here with me all day, that this moment is about solace and realness. She goes and grabs my bag from Brandon's room and opens it up looking at what I've thrown in there. She hands me track pants and a long sleeve t-shirt; she knows I run warmer than her. When I'm dressed I sit back on the bed, she comes and stands between my knees and runs her hand through my drying hair.
"What did he say to you this morning?"
"He told me to have patience with you that I should blame him for everything."
"When he asked you to remember what he said, he laughed at your response."
"I told him yep it was absolutely his fault. I think it was my tone that got him laughing."
"He loved that you were so honest, so real. He loved everything about you. He's-" I feel my eyes start to water, "he's wanted you with me from the start. The night of the party he could see how upset I was without you there. He told me it didn't matter a few hours more after waiting over two years to meet you didn't matter. He told me to call and invite my girl to breakfast and he'd get my friend Kelly a drink. He instantly knew you were my girl, my only girl. He helped me so much in understanding how to make this right. Everyday he was trying to make sure we'd get back to each other that I'd get back to you."
"He told me in that hotel room that he was going to keep trying as long as he could to help change your misperceptions of love. He knew didn't he? He knew there was a chance…"
"Yeah I think he did. I think he wanted to make sure just in case that we had each other."
"He wanted you free from my Dad. He wanted you to have support. He wanted to make sure he gave you everything he thought you'd need to get through this."
"I don't want to have to, I wanted him around. I wanted to see you laughing and fishing with him on the boat. I wanted to argue when he gave you a room just because he told me he didn't think he could refuse you anything. I wanted him to keep bringing me coffee, listening to me, giving me advice. I wanted him to see me graduate high school and then to see a McKay get a college degree the hard way. I wanted for him to meet his grandkids, to see him steal too many dances with you at the wedding claiming it was his day really as he finally gets to claim you officially as his daughter, as a McKay."
She looks down at me with tears running down her cheeks, "he wanted all of that too. Dylan he loved you. He loved you so much."
My head falls onto her chest as I cry. She holds it close to her.
