"I dunno, Dipper. M-Maybe you should do the call without me. Tell them I'm sick."
"They'd still wanna call and see you if you were sick. Don't worry, it'll be okay."
"What if they get stupid? What if they get mad?"
"Do you know who you're talking about, Mabel?!" Dipper laughed and put a kind hand on her shoulder. "They're gonna be so proud!"
The laptop started to ring, with a picture of their great-uncles at sea on the screen, and Dipper clicked while Mabel scurried for a book.
It was six o'clock in the morning for the Stan O' War II docked at Galway, which meant it was nine o'clock at night for the kids; the old men were about to start their day on a good note and the middle-schoolers were going to go to bed after an always-needed family call. Stan plopped next to Ford with two mugs of coffee while the eldest by fifteen minutes called two constellations on his laptop.
It rang for only a moment before Dipper answered, sitting on a beanbag on the floor of his shared bedroom, the laptop on the carpeted floor, and Mabel in a beanbag behind him, a book covering her face.
"Kids!" Stan greeted. "It's great to see you!"
"At least, as much as we can see." Ford peered at Mabel, who didn't look up at the laptop. "Interesting book, Mabel?"
"Uh, yes! Hi! Sorry, but… uh, book report due tomorrow! Gotta read!"
"Uh huh." Ford said slowly, adjusting his glasses. "I didn't realize schools assigned Wolfman, Barechest for homework."
"Our teacher let us pick the book."
"Any reason why you're 'reading' it upside-down, pumpkin?" Stan asked slyly, amused by his niece's bad lying.
Mabel's forehead turned red, and she buried herself deeper into the upside-down book and curled up into a tighter ball. "So… h-h-how's Ireland?"
"Hey hey, c'mon, pumpkin." Stan eased gently. "Whatcha got to hide from us, ey? You can trust us."
"Did your hair get caught in the mixer again?" Ford asked softly.
Mabel giggled behind her book. "No, I learned my lesson on smelling cake batter."
"Then what's up?" Stan asked.
The teenage girl sighed, seeing how no one was going to let this go, and she closed her book and tossed it aside.
The last time the old sailors saw their grandniece she had short brown hair kept back by a colorful headband, a beautiful homemade-sweater with shorts and long matching socks to go with it. She was still the same, except her youthful face showcased a black eye.
Stan instantly got closer to the screen. "Aw, pumpkin. What happened, baby?"
"Who did this?" Ford growled darkly.
"Whoa, Sixer," Stan chuckled, seeing his twin stand and reach for the blaster in his blue hoodie.
"Mabel, darling, who hurt you? It will take some time, but we can be there in a few days. You don't even have to say his name, sweetheart, just tell me what he looks like and no one will ever have to look at him again THE LITTLE-"
"Whoa, whoa!" Stan laughed, forcing Ford to sit back down. "Easy there, Bryan Mills."
Mabel bit her lip to keep her smile away and pulled her turtleneck over her head, hiding in Sweatertown over embarrassment.
"Ah, jeez. No, no, pumpkin." Stan cooed. "We're not mad."
"Speak for yourself, Stanley."
"Shaddup." Stan warned and turned his full attention back on the kids. "What happened, sweetie?"
Mabel shrugged, most of her face still in Sweatertown, but she poked her eyes up to look at her favorite old people in the whole world. "Some girl's been picking on me for a while. At first it was nothing bad, a few names, calling my sweaters stupid, nothing Pacifica hadn't said to me. But it got worse, starting making me trip and claim it was an accident, started teasing Dipper, too, until today she straight-up punched Dipper in the gut and laughed, cuz he couldn't hit back."
"Low blow." Stan commented.
"So I hit her back and we got into a fight." Mabel continued.
"Did you win?"
"Stanley!"
"What?! I'm picking up a vibe that she won or something!"
Mabel giggled, now fully out of Sweatertown, and holding her knees comfortably. "Yeah, I did."
"WHOO HOO! That's my girl!"
"Well done, my dear! Well done!"
"But I got suspended for it."
The old men winced. "Yeesh, that bad for punching a bully?" Stan asked.
"The school can't prove that Karen's been picking on me and punched Dipper, all the teachers saw was me on top of her punching her bloody nose."
"What do your parents say about all this?" Ford asked gently.
"Dad's proud of me and Mom says I can keep my phone, but I'm not allowed out of the house until I'm back in school."
"Well at least your folks have some sense." Stan chuckled, arms crossed over his beefy chest. "Well, we're proud of you too, pumpkin. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you stood up for yourself."
"Me, too."
"Thanks." Mabel muttered, blushing, then sneered, "Dipper was pretty good, too. Called Karen a…?"
"I told her I saw through her fake pearls, off-brand purse, and lipstick so bland I could see her crusty musty lips so it's no wonder a guy wouldn't kiss her."
"DAMN!" Stan yelled, laughing with pride, while Ford's jaw was practically on the floor.
"He's been watching way too much Why You Ackin' So Kray Kray." Mabel giggled while her brother got a turn to blush with pride.
