MiraculElse #32: Risky Business

by DFC

(TImeline: Season 4, between Risk and Strikeback. Written pre-Strikeback, for reference.)


Pacing back and forth across her bedroom floor, Marinette's anxiety was off the charts... and Tikki's wasn't much better.

"Tell me again what we're still doing here?" argued Tikki, gesturing at Marinette's television. "You heard the booms in the distance. You saw the news report just now. Something from Shadowmoth is out there, and it's huge!"

"You don't think that I know that?" Marinette snapped back. "You heard the message Chat sent me, right? 'Something terrible has happened. I need to speak with Marinette Dupain-Cheng right away about it. I'm headed to her house right now, and then I'll meet up with you.' It was all I could do to Pega-teleport back here to get here before he does."

"I heard it, and I didn't like it. He doesn't sound like himself right now." Tikki studied her friend, adding, "Neither of you have been acting like your normal selves lately, come to think of it. What was that about 'I'll just grab Adrien and teleport him back to his house?'"

"Tikki," Marinette whimpered, "So much is happening at once! I don't feel like myself. I don't know how I could! Adrien is leaving for months with that horrible girl! He and I had that moment in the gymnasium - my hand is still tingling - I almost told him that I - I -"

"You need to get your head in the game, Marinette," Tikki chided her. "I know that you can, and you will. But this isn't the time for your emotions to control you."

"And that is what we're still doing here," explained Marinette. "Chat Noir is coming here, right? He can cool me down. Seeing him will help me refocus on what we need to do next. I can make sure that he's in a good mental place. I can drop a hint as to where Ladybug might be, he'll leave, I'll transform and go where I told him to meet her, we'll summon the others, and we'll beat down whatever Shadowmoth created."

A muted *TH-BMMP* on her roof announced Chat's arrival.

"Let me do what I have to do right now," Marinette whispered to Tikki. "I'll be back soon, and we'll go do our job with clear heads."

She wasn't entirely wrong, as it turned out... but also far from right.


In her mind, Marinette swore an eternal grudge against three-word sentences.

The boy standing in front of her on her balcony, his familiar black-masked face visibly shaken, had dropped one upon her moments ago that had made no sense to her whatsoever. Three little words cut off her stream of I'm glad to see you but isn't there kind of a big monster out there that's more important right now than anything I could tell you?

"You're saying goodbye?" she'd barked back at him. "What do you mean by that, Chat? What can that possibly-"

He'd silenced her with a gesture, a quiet plea to let him continue, which she did.

"I found out something today. A bunch of things, actually, and all of them are so important," he'd murmured. "I'm still wrapping my head around most of them, but every one of them is going to change my life forever." He'd looked down for a moment, and a sullen tone entered his voice. "My 'life,'" he'd snarked. "As if that means anything any more."

"Chat?" gasped Marinette. "You're... you're scaring me. What happened?"

"My cousin texted me tonight, on his way out of town, then he called me. He had this insane story that he needed to share with me, and he sounded more shaken up than I'd ever heard him before," Chat had explained. "So I heard him out, and it was insane... except that all the facts checked out, once I... once I looked into it myself. There's something that you need to know about me, Marinette. Something I don't know if you'll understand completely."

"Try me!" she'd urged him. "Chat, what did you find out?"

"I'm a sentimonster."

Three little words in sequence. That's all it took... and, suddenly, Marinette Dupain-Cheng's life had unraveled as surely as Chat Noir's had.


Marinette's reaction was utter disbelief at first, naturally enough. She half-sat, half-fell onto a chair just behind her, and Chat knelt down beside her and explained the rest of the story.

"My cousin saw it all, firsthand," Chat relayed, grimly. "My mother is in some kind of... storage chamber. My father is Shadowmoth; he has the Moth and Peacock Miraculous. And he and I were both literally created by whoever had the Peacock fifteen years ago... and there's only one possibility for that."

"He has to be wrong! He just has to be," shouted Marinette, denial brimming within her. "It's a lie, or a prank, or-"

"No."

Chat's eyes were sad, but also kind.

"I saw the pain in his eyes, Marinette. I was sure that he wasn't lying to me. Not about something that big, anyway. So when I hung up, I sent my Kwami to find out if what he said was true. To be sure."

"...And?" asked Marinette, desperately.

"Plagg came back shaking."

That knocked the bottom out of Marinette's spiral of denial, and she sat quietly for a moment, stunned to her core.

"He found Shadowmoth's lair. He found my m-mother," continued Chat, weakly. "It all adds up."

"You're... you're sure that you're the real Chat Noir?" was her weak response. "You're not... a new creation, implanted memories, something like that?"

"I'm the real thing. I don't have a lot of ways of proving that to you, but I am," sighed Chat. "This is the real Miraculous on my hand. Ladybug will be able to verify that, when I give this back to her tonight."

"W-wait!"


A whirlwind of competing thoughts in Marinette's head - Chat Noir's a sentimonster? He knows who Shadowmoth is? It's his FATHER? Oh, my God, the poor boy - what am I supposed to even begin to do to comfort him - should we go confront his father RIGHT NOW? - How do I even deal with - what about the big monster - you have to get moving! - oh, God, CHAT - he's giving up the ring? - came into focus for her for a brief moment.

"Before you give it back... hold on, let's think this out!" she stammered, stalling for time. "What makes you think that you have to? There's some huge monster out there today! I'm sure that Ladybug will need you beside her more than ever."

"I'm a sentimonster," he repeated. "My father can control my behavior with my Amok. We think that it's a silver ring, something that's a family heirloom. So if he works out that I'm Chat Noir, somehow..."

"Shadowmoth can control Chat Noir's actions," Marinette finished his sentence, compelled by logic.

"And I have no idea what he knows and what he doesn't," admitted Chat. "But with what I know now, I can't take the chance. I'm compromised. I think I always will be."

Chat watched as Marinette clasped her head with both hands, as if trying to keep her soul encased within it. "It's almost funny, in a way," he mused. "I've spent so much of my life feeling like I've been manipulated by my father... and especially lately. I had no idea how literal that feeling was-"

"This can't... this can't be happening," declared Marinette.

"Unfortunately, it is. I-"

"THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!"

Chat watched, startled out of his wits, as Marinette jumped up to her feet and picked up the lightweight chair she'd been sitting on. In one motion, she whirled and tossed it over the side of the balcony, with a subsequent crashing noise from ground level. He approached her very gingerly as she leaned against the railing, visibly unsteady, peeking over quickly to make sure that it hadn't hit anyone.

When he reached her, sobs were pouring out of her, and she leaned into him to keep herself upright. He held on tight, letting the storm of anger and sorrow rage within her.


It took a few minutes for Marinette to regain some composure. A tiny part of her marveled at how composed Chat appeared to be.

"What are you going to do?" she whispered. "I mean... if your father is Shadowmoth... if you're sure about that..."

"I'm going to explain everything to Ladybug. Just like I am to you, right now," he replied. "And she's going to call in every Miraculous host there is and they're going to tear his world apart. He'll never see it coming."

"You're damned right she will," Marinette muttered.

"And then... well, you're not going to see me again, I don't think. Not like this," said Chat. "With Shadowmoth defeated, Chat Noir wouldn't be needed any more, and, besides... I can't keep my Miraculous as long as that amok exists. It could be used to control me, to flat-out destroy me with a thought. So I think this is my last balcony visit."

"You wouldn't dare," she challenged him.

"What else can I-"

"You mean too much to me to just disappear, Chat," Marinette declared. "You're not some kind of... thing. You're my friend. You're my... you're so many things," she faltered. "And where do you think you'd be going, anyway?"

"I have no idea," he admitted. "But once my father is exposed for everything he's done, that's the end of my everyday life, wouldn't you say? He'll go to jail. I'll go to... I don't know, maybe living with some distant relatives? Foster care, until I'm old enough? My life as I knew it is over."

"You could... um..."

"What?" he smiled, disarmingly. "Move in with you and your family? I could only imagine the looks on your parents' faces when you suggest-"

"I don't know what to suggest," Marinette grumbled. "I have no idea. I have no idea how you're even speaking clearly right now, Chat! Not with all of this..."

"I don't know, either. Some of it is still sinking in," he allowed. "I feel numb inside more than anything else."

"All the more reason to let me help you through this. Even if you won't have the Miraculous."

Chat's smile returned. "I thought that you never wanted to know who was behind this mask," he reminded her.

"I... all of a sudden, I don't think there's anything in the world I've needed to know more," she whimpered. "Whether you're someone I know or not. What I know about your real self. What I can do to help you..."

Another thought struck her, and she stared at him with intense eyes. "Chat?" she asked, quietly. "Your world is falling apart beneath your feet right now, and I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. But... you came to me first? Not to Ladybug?"

Chat's voice grew determined. "My father can control many things about my life, it seems. I don't know how often he's actually done it, you know? How many of my decisions lately have been my own," he explained. "I've felt like... like a couple of forces have been pushing me around lately, to be honest. But there's one thing about me that I know is real. One thing that I can trust about myself."

"What's that?"

"Whom I love."


Another three-word sentence. This one might not have been as painful to hear as the first two... but, then again, in many ways it was.

"L-love?" was all that came out of her mouth in response.

"You have always been very special to me, Marinette. You know that just from my being here," Chat breathed, the words falling out of him rapidly. "You're the one person whom I spend time with like this. The one person who understands me, how I feel, what I'm truly like... in and out of costume."

That last bit threatened to send Marinette's mind spinning again, but she held onto her train of thought out of desperation.

"Yes, I've bent your ear so many times about how I love Ladybug, I'll always love Ladybug, Ladybug is my Lady that I love," he smiled. "I can't believe that you put up with my whining for so long. But I've... Marinette, I've been falling for you for some time now. I do know you in everyday life, very well. I've spent lots of time with you as myself. I can't stop thinking about you... and you're part of what's keeping me sane right now," he managed. "Knowing that there's one person out there that I can trust, that I know that my feelings about you are my own."

"I... I'm..." stammered Marinette, wondering if she was hallucinating all of this for a moment. Tears rose up again, but she paid them no mind. "Chat... Chat, wait..."

"So I wanted to tell you... to show you, at least once... how much you mean to me, Marinette. How precious you are to me. I don't know if I'll get to keep seeing you, either in school or like this, but... well, I think you'll understand better after I do this."

"Like...?"

"Plagg... Claws in."


A white flash destroyed Marinette Dupain-Cheng's world, or what was left of it.


"...Surprise?"

Everything crashed down upon her at once.

Adrien...

Oh, GOD...

Adrien is Chat Noir...

Adrien is a SENTIMONSTER...

Adrien's... Gabriel Agreste WAS Hawkmoth? He still is?

He's...

Adrien's loved me all along?

He's... he's in love with ME?

Not Ladybug... but ME?

ADRIEN is saying goodbye to me right now?

I'm losing Adrien and I'm losing Chat and I'm losing my GODDAMNED MIND-


"No."

"I beg your pardon?" asked Adrien, leaning in close, as she'd barely whispered the word.

"No," she gasped, this time a little louder than before. "No. It's not going to end like this."

"I..." Adrien faltered, "I don't know that we have much choice about it."

"We do. We do and we will," declared Marinette, with unexpected steel in her voice. When she turned her eyes back to meet his gaze, Adrien wasn't sure what he was seeing emerging within her, but it took his breath away.

"Adrien Agreste," she continued, "I'm... I should have known. I can see it now, but I didn't... I don't know how I didn't..."

"I was doing my darnedest to hide it from you," Chat quipped, lightly. "I'd like to think that I was a little successful at that."

"But... no. You are not leaving my life, Adrien. I won't let you. I can't let you. Because there's something about me that you need to know."

"...Marinette?"

"Spots on."


It was Adrien's turn to gape in utter astonishment, to know that everything he knew about his world was somehow even more wrong, to barely remain standing.

It was his turn to collapse into her waiting arms, a warm and strong embrace even as her arms remained shaking a little bit.

It was his turn to find a home waiting for him, a shelter in his most desperate time of need, wrapped up by the most impossible girl he'd ever known.


"You sh-shouldn't have told me this," Adrien whispered, once he could.

"I had to."

I really felt like I did, she told herself. And not just from... whatever's had me on edge today, acting before thinking. This wasn't optional.

"I'm compromised," he insisted. "I'm a... I'm not..."

"You are a person, Adrien," Ladybug soothed him. "You are a wonderful, sensitive, amazing person. You're not a creature, you're not a monster. You never have been, and you never could be, and you never will be. And there is no way that I could ever let go of you."

He hugged her tightly, clinging to the one piece of sanity his world had left in it.

"...What are we going to do?" he whispered.

"I don't know," admitted Ladybug. "I don't know. We're going to take out that big spiky robot thing, whatever it is, but after that... I just don't know. But we are going to do it. Together. You and me against the world, like always."

"If you're sure."

"I've never been more sure."

"Then... at least one more time. Claws out."

Ladybug and Chat held each other in silence for one last moment, stealing what few seconds of time they could before the next phase of their lives would begin.