Brandon Road / .com

The Office: from there to here

The OFFICE: FROM THERE TO HERE. An origin story.

EpiSODE 5: Ware's the house? Part i

By

Brandon Road.

FAde In:

INTRO

OUT. PARKING LOT. early MORN.

BOBBY, CHRIS AND REX HAVE THE CAMERA FACING THE DUNDER MIFFLIN OFFICE. THEY ARE CASUALLY SHOOTING LANDSCAPE SHOTS FOR THE VIDEO. THEY ARE ALSO CAPTURING EMPLOYEE'S ENTERING THE OFFICE. THESE SHOTS ARE GOING TO ADD INTO THE TRANSITIONS DURING THE VIDEO.

REX

I think the way our camera is set up, we will be able to capture the front door, the DUNDER MIFFLIN sign and just enough of the tree and sky. It will offer up a nice break between shots. Perhaps, we can run it behind some title shots? Maybe a piano instrumental or something nice to compliment it?

CHRIS

Excellent idea! Keep it rolling for a good 1 minute so we can work with it. Oh hey, we have PHYLLIS just arriving. I'll go tell her that we will be taking a shot of her entering the building.

CHRIS jogs over to PHYLLIS' car. He waves and greets her as she gets out of the car.

CHRIS

Hey PHYLLIS! We are shooting a quick scene here today, so we will need you to act casual and just go about your business entering the building. Keep it casual!

PHYLLIS

Oh ok. I will try.

CHRIS gives PHYLLIS the thumbs up and returns to the group.

CHRIS

She's on board! Just keep shooting, BOBBY.

BOBBY focuses on the middle of the parking lot which PHYLLIS will enter and head to the main entrance. PHYLLIS is walking normal and hasn't looked at the camera; much to the guys' surprise.

The following in seen through the camera lens.

MICHAEL (off camera)

OHH ROMEO! WHERETH ART THOU?!

The camera pans quickly to the building revealing MICHAEL. He has wedged open a widow up in the office. He has his upper body out. PHYLLIS has stopped and is looking up at him.

MICHAEL

I SHALL DECLARE! YOU BE MY FAIR JULIET!

MICHAEL lets out a laugh and waves to the camera guys.

DWIGHT

ROMEO NEVER SAID THAT! YOU ARE INCORRECT!

DWIGHT has now too wedged open a widow up in the office. He has his upper body out and he his yelling to MICHAEL who is separated by about 8 windows to his left.

MICHAEL

OH DWIGHT! YOU'TH RUINITH THE PLAY! I BITE MY TONGUE AT YOU SIR!

dwight

IT'S BITE MY THUMB! MY THUMB! THUMB!

DWIGHT is motioning the thumb-biting action directed towards MICHAEL.

MICHAEL

I won't bite your thumb. That is gross.

MICHAEL is clearly annoyed. He slides back inside and shuts his window. DWIGHT disregards MICHAELS comments and plainly looks down to the parking lot.

DWIGHT

HEY PHYLLIS. How are you today.

PHYLLIS shrugs and keeps walking. DWIGHT then slides back in through the window. PHYLLIS continues on to the entrance. As she's about to enter a pick-up truck goes squealing past and into the alley beside the office building.

rex (off camera)

Damn. That truck might have been in the scene but keep rolling.

PHYLLIS enters the building. BOBBY continues the recording for a few seconds then closes down the camera.

BOBBY

I think we will be able to salvage that. Maybe crop some things. I think we can call that a wrap.

The guys begin packing up their items. Suddenly, the side door of a van parked behind them opens. MEREDITH pokes her head out and dry heaves. She turns her head and squints.

MEREDITH

Hey? Who's the new you?

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX look behind them as if she is talking to someone besides them. They are confused. MEREDITH runs her tongue over her lips and then smacks them together.

MEREDITH

Whew. The beers are sure causing the spins. They are hittin' me in waves.

MEREDITH pulls her head back into the van and shuts the door. From in front of MEREDITH's van, CREED's voice can be heard.

CREED

The sewer cover is designed not only to keep us out but also keep something IN. Now I don't know what it is, but I will find out soon.

REX leans around MEREDITH's vehicle and sees CREED. CREED has a string tied to a stick as a makeshift fishing pole and has it dangling down a storm drain. He is seated on a milk crate. CREED sees REX and gives the thumbs up. Just as he does, CREED yanks on his line. BOBBY shakes his head in amazement. BOBBY yells to CREED.

BOBBY

I guess the saying "Fish where there's fish" is true eh, CREED?!

CREED turns to the group still yanking on his string.

CREED

It's funny you say that. Fish travel in schools but don't use paper. I wonder what they use?

BOBBY looks to CHRIS and REX. They all shrug and they continue to pack up the camera and head inside.

CHRIS

Something tells me what was on the end of that line wasn't a fish.

END SCENE

OPENING CREDITS ROLL

INT. ED TRUCK'S OFFICE. MID MORN.

ED TRUCK IS IN HIS OFFICE STANDING AND WATCHING BOBBY, CHRIS, AND REX PACKING UP THEIR CAMERA IN THE PARKING LOT THROUGH THE WINDOW. THEY'VE TOLD HIM THEY NEED SOME FOOTAGE OF THE BUILDING. ED TRUCK IS A LITTLE ON EDGE AS HE KNOWS HE HAS INTERVIEWEES COMING IN TODAY. THE OFFICE STAFF ARE UNAWARE OF ALL THIS. DAVID WALLACE HAS DECIDED TO STAY AND BE A PART OF THE INTERVIEWS WITH THE FILM CREW ALSO JOINING; HE IS IN ED TRUCK'S OFFICE WITH HIM JOTTING NOTES OFF SOME REPORTS FROM TOBY.

DAVID WALLACE

ED TRUCK. These HR reports are . . . flawless. That computer has certainly helped already. Look at the difference.

DAVID WALLACE holds up a printed report looking very neat. In his other hand, he holds up a piece of paper that has been painted in whiteout – and completely re-done. It's smeared and cardboard-like.

ED TRUCK

Yeah. We had some dark times there with the whiteout. JUDY ordered 10 cases instead of 10 bottles. We have 285 bottles left in the warehouse. PHYLLIS said she would try and sell some to that damn HVAC company. BOB VINCE or whatever. Have you met him, DAVID? He's a strange one. Goes by his full name . . . how pretentious is that.

DAVID WALLACE raises his left eyebrow, then furrows it then looks back down to the reports; shaking his head.

DAVID WALLACE

It's great that I am here to help find a replacement for JUDY. I mean, cmon. Looking through these reports from TOBY documenting disciplinary warnings, her name comes up quite a few times. Like here's one – wait - these are all from the same day! How has she stayed employed so long? Like . . .

DAVID WALLACE begins to read the page aloud.

DAVID WALLACe (con't)

It says here that when she was tasked by YOU to begin a "Employee Praise/Rewards" program, she took it on herself to name the program "The Dunder Mifflin Glory Hole".

DAVID WALLACE stops and looks at ED TRUCK. ED TRUCK grimaces.

ED TRUCK

In a WAY, it was the right name BUT just not . . .

DAVID WALLACE

Glory hole?! Cmon ED TRUCK! That's inappropriate. She was clearing naming it that out of spite!

ED TRUCK tilts his head.

ED TRUCK

I do like a good glory hole though. They aren't all bad. Let's not generalize Glory Holes as being bad. . .

DAVID WALLACE leans it towards ED TRUCK with a look of serious concern. ED TRUCK recognizes that he may of misspoke.

ED TRUCK (cont)

Uhh . . . from what TODD PACKER has told me.

DAVID WALLACE looks from ED TRUCK to the stack of papers again.

DAVID WALLACE

Glory Holes aside . . . this is still a pretty damning report.

DAVID WALLACE flips through the stack of papers and starts shaking his head more furiously. ED TRUCK has made his way from the window to his chair. He sits down facing DAVID WALLACE.

ED TRUCK

Have you ever seen Old Yeller.

DAVID WALLACE stops reading and looks to ED TRUCK annoyed.

DAVID WALLACE

I believe so. Might of read the book. Why.

ED TRUCK

JUDY is our Old Yeller. She's old. She yells. Sometimes bites people and may or may not have fleas. If we don't love her in her last moments, we will remember her as the rabid dog who bit Cousin Joe.

DAVID WALLACE goes to interrupt ED TRUCK, but ED TRUCK continues.

ED TRUCK

I know this is tough. We all love Old Yeller. But this something I have to do.

ED TRUCK gets up and walks past DAVID WALLACE. He stops and puts a hand on his shoulder.

ED TRUCK

I'll put her down out back. We've known she has been suffering all-timers for the last little bit. She's becoming forgetful and clumsy. It's painful to watch.

DAVID WALLACE is concerned.

david wallace

I think you mean Alzheimer's. ED TRUCK, if JUDY has in fact developed a case of Alzheimer's . . . that truly is . . .

ED TRUCK stares at DAVID WALLACE.

ED TRUCK

Wait. What did I say?

David Wallace

Uh. All-timers.

ED TRUCK looks to the ceiling and draws a deep breath. He puts his hands on his hips. ED TRUCK has begun to tear up.

ED TRUCK

Well, that doesn't make any sense now does it. It's just not fair.

DAVID WALLACE looks to ED TRUCK with a stunned look on his face.

DAVID WALLACE

No need to be dramatic, ED TRUCK. I'll be in the interview and can act as the bad guy here. This is business. We are simply replacing her. We aren't killing her.

ED TRUCK walks to the door and stops. He sighs.

ED TRUCK

But we kind of are, aren't we?

END SCENE

INT. OFFICE BUILDING ENTRANCE.

BOBBY, CHRIS AND REX HAVE ENTERED THE BUILDING. BOBBY IS CURIOUS ABOUT THE SPEEDING TRUCK FROM EARLIER SO HE WANTS TO ASK HANK THE GUARD TO SEE IF HE KNOWS ANYTHING. THE GUARD IS SEATED BEHIND THE SECURITY DESK.

BOBBY

Hey, good morning HANK . . . is there a speed limit to this parking lot? Or . . .

HANK sets his newspaper down. He clears his throat.

HANK

What the hell do I look like to you? A damn patrol cop? I monitor the building. Not the parking lot. Parking lot is not the building. Y'all understand the difference don't y'all? I'm in here. I ain't out there.

HANK picks his paper back up and begins reading. BOBBY is unhappy with the answer. He presses.

BOBBY

Well, we had a truck squeal into our shot a few minutes ago. Didn't you hear or see that? It looked rather unsafe.

HANK lets out a deep breath. He sets his paper down again. He stands up.

HANK

I heard it. I saw it. That's CAM's truck. He is the shift leader in the warehouse. If you have a problem with that go down to the warehouse and tell him. 3rd door on the east – marked DUNDER MIFFLIN. Happy?

HANK sits back down and opens his newspaper forcibly. REX turns to CHRIS.

REX

There's a warehouse?!

HANK slams his paper down on his desk.

HANK

OK guys listen. It's been a busy mornin' and I've finally got to my desk and BAM! I gotta fill out a report for some busted windows upstairs and then you buffoons start hastlin' me. Can you move along? Or help me fill this damn report out?

BOBBY turns to CHRIS and REX who are sharing smiles. HANK sees this and throws his hands up.

HANK

That's what I thought. You 3 go play tiddly-winks somewhere else.

BOBBY grabs CHRIS by the front of the shirt.

BOBBY

We must check out the warehouse. We need to talk to that CAM guy!

END SCENE

OUT. WAREHOUSE ENTRANCE. DAY

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX have made their way to the side of the dunder mifflin building to the warehouse entrance. the truck from earlier is seen parked nearby. they all have approached the warehouse entrance and are standing in the opening. A MAN WITH A WAREHOUSE UNIFORM SPOTS THEM AND WALKS OVER TO THEM swiftly.

MAN

Hey. What are you doing here? This is restricted area.

BOBBY looks at the man who has a thick southern drawl. His uniform has "CAM" stitched in it. CAM presses.

CAM

Listen. I'll tell you what I tell all the other drifters from the trainyards over there that come here looking for work: His name is ED TRUCK. Go wait outside by his car - the brown Crown Vic in the parking lot - and when he comes out of the building, approach him from behind silently. He appreciates stealth and strength. Don't be afraid to be physical with him. The rougher you are with him, the better the chances of landing a job.

REX looks to BOBBY and CHRIS and then back to CAM.

REX

We aren't train drifters.

CAM stares at REX.

CAM

All train drifters say they aren't train drifters when really they mean they are train drifters.

REX looks around. Then he responds slowly.

REX

Ok. . . we ARE train drifters.

CAM looks back into the warehouse and then back to REX.

cam

None of those good men back there will testify in a court of law. You follow? No witnesses. No paper trail. No body trail. So, why don't you say you're a Train Drifter one more time?

BOBBY feels the situation getting out of control and jumps in.

BOBBY

Hey CAM. My name is BOBBY. This is CHRIS and this is REX. We are from PBS and we are filming a training video for DUNDER MIFFLIN. It has to do with the WINDOWS 98 Computer going into HR.

CAM seems unconvinced. He eyes up the men's video equipment. He then notices the lanyard with DWIGHT's clearance/access code around CHRIS' neck. He grabs it and reads it. CAM flips it back onto CHRIS' chest.

CAM

Classic. Why wasn't I informed of this? Does ED TRUCK not want the warehouse to be seen. Dang it - you know this is where the magic happens. Not up in polly-pocket dreamland. We needed that damn Windows Computer more than they did. You know how hard it is to receive the orders from upstairs, process them, pick them, place them on the proper truck and THEN – reverse that process once they've been delivered. Do you know, man? Logistics is what makes this world turn. Open P.O's, fulfilment terms and Max Order Quantities are what makes THIS WORK! Ask the suits upstairs if they can explain our Flow Through program. I dare you.

REX

Hey uh, CAM. We didn't mean to offend. Uh. Maybe you can take us on a tour. We'd love to get some shots for the video. You are DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON after all. We'd be happy to see how big of a part of the business you are!

CAM eyes up the three men. He looks back into the warehouse. Then back to the REX.

CAM

How did I know you aren't pranking me? How can I trust you? I only met you. This could be a set up!

BOBBY steps forward and addresses CAM.

BOBBY

CAM, I truly understand your position if you're hesitant. That's totally cool. The group upstairs was hesitant too until ED TRUCK brought them onboard. Maybe we go get ED –

CAM waves his hands in BOBBY's face.

CAM

No. We won't be involving ED TRUCK. I will go against my morals and trust you three. If you double cross me on this, I can see to it that you will be hurt. Bad. I'm talking – multiple dismemberment.

CAM stares at the three men for to drive home his point. He lowers his voice and speaks again.

CAM

We clear gentlemen.

All three of the men nod in unison.

CAM

Thought so. Alright. Follow me into the shit. Watch your six. And please. Don't interrupt me with questions. If you have questions, please raise your hand.

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX follow CAM into the warehouse. There is a flurry of activity happening. It is not chaotic but seems very organized and deliberate.

CAM

Over there is the receiving bay. We have 4 trucks ready to roll within the hour. ALPHA, OMEGA, CHARLIE and BRAVO. Behind that it the stock area. We have all the stock organized by product code on those shelves. We implemented that last month. Took 4 hours of overtime but gosh darnnit we all got it done.

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX are stunned at rate of which everyone is working. The warehouse is spotless. Everything is organized.

CAM

This is our theatre. Shipping. Receiving. Behind us, is the break room and my office – which doubles as a collaborative open work space where we share ideas and better our practices. Every company should have one. We host those at the end of each work day. TOM PEETS, our bookkeep down here actually developed a key process for our submission of our end of day paperwork. Cut 1 hour a day – which we now use to get a jump on the next day. HEY! There's TOM! He's actually over there at CHARLIE COMPANY!

CAM notices TOM PEETS across the warehouse. CAM yells to TOM PEETS.

CAM

HEY – TOM PEETS! STAY HUNGRY BROTHER!

TOM PEETS looks over CAM from across the warehouse. He waves his clip board and then continues back making notes. CAM stops for a moment and continues to look back to TOM PEETS. He points at TOM PEETS – but TOM PEETS doesn't notice it.

CAM

I don't know what this company would do if we ever lost someone like him. He's a fine marine. I do say. We are all fine Marine's down here. MARINE'S! OUUU RAAHH!

A loud and unanimous "OUUU RAAHH" echoes back in the warehouse from all the other workers. CAM fist pumps the air.

CAM (CONT)

See! All one unit! We are all about proficiency in here. We work hard. Day in and day out. No time for games. I will be damned if I ever see any sort of gaming apparatus in this very warehouse. I won't allow it! Play games on your own time! We will carry the legacy of the warehouse into the 20th Century. You will always expect top notch service from a DUNDER MIFFLIN warehouse employee. You'll never have to worry about work ethic!

CHRIS, who is impressed with everything CAM has shown raises his hand. CAM nods for him to proceed with his question.

CHRIS

So day to day, how is the communication with the upstairs office members like? Is everything direct or how does that work?

CAM lets out a belly laugh.

CAM

Communication?! Ha ha. Those idiots up there are buried in their silos and have no idea what lengths we go through to keep DUNDER MIFFLIN afloat. Communication? Ha. Can't relate. None of those idiots have ever seen or appreciated anything we do down here. They collect their bonus cheques from sales – but without our Logistics Team – no sale ever get delivered.

CHRIS tilts his head out of confusion. CAM continues.

CAM

You see. The "upstairs workers" view this operation from the top down like a bird's nest. We – "baby birds" – apparently require the "momma birds" to supply us with sales. They think they burp feed us the sales and without them we would perish. They think we take their burp feed and leave the nest - once we are strong enough - and distribute our own burp feed and build the business. You follow?

Silence.

cam

Ok good. Glad that's clear. In reality, their "operation" upstairs is a complete – shit sandwich. We keep a detailed Log of all the "incidents" that we have had to deal with that are a direct result of their incompetence. It's quite alarming how out of sorts they actually are.

Still silence.

CAM

You'll see what I mean. HEY! TOM PEETS! On the double!

TOM PEETS hears CAM's summon and trots over. CAM and TOM PEETS exchange salutes. TOM PEETS nods at BOBBY, CHRIS and REX.

CAM

These gentlemen want to know about communication with the upstairs crew. Why don't you share them our motto down here?

TOM PEETS nods.

TOM PEETS

No answer is not a no! It's not a yes! It's not a maybe! So! Ship that shit! Silence means ship!

As TOM PEETS finishes his quote, a loud "OUUU RAAHH" echoes in the warehouse again.

CAM

Thank you! Dismissed!

TOM PEETS salutes once again and leaves the group.

CAM

Silence. Means. Ship.

BOBBY raises his hand. CAM nods for him to proceed.

BOBBY

So. I have a feeling communication around here is "subpar"? It looks like you run a very good operation down here so how does the upstairs team view the end result? I'm confused.

CAM

I'll end by saying this; You don't know what you don't know. You know?

CHRIS

I think I know.

CAM turns from the group and heads toward the back of the warehouse. BOBBY, CHRIS and REX follow. The group arrives and stops at a door labelled: OFFICE . He turns to REX.

CAM

Gentleman, any guess what's behind this door?

REX looks to CAM confused. He shakes his head. CAM waves his hands back and forth.

CAM

In here, is Command Center. This is the Heartbeat of the company. Every truck. Every box. Every flippin' piece of paper . . . goes though here before it leaves. Don't let the suits upstairs tell you different. Without distribution and warehousing, this company is built on stilts. A house of cards. You understand? Tippy toppy.

CAM stands at attention with his hands behind his back.

CAM

We've moved over 200 Miffles in the past month. Without us, no mifflles.

CHRIS raises his hand. CAM notices and nods.

CAM

Proceed.

CHRIS

What is a miffle?

Without hesitation, CAM quickly responds.

CAM

Robert Mifflin implemented his own weight scale to keep track of the amount of paper they were selling back in the early years. Everyone knows he was the real brains behind the founding of the company . . . but that's a cat to be skinned later. Anyway. The legends goes that there was once a vole in amongst his rank and the vole was leaking information to competition. So –

BOBBY interjects.

BOBBY

Mole. I think you mean, Mole. There was a mole in the company.

CAM snaps his attention to BOBBY.

CAM

A mole is a vole. A vole is a mole. Same thing.

BOBBY goes to respond but CAM continues.

CAM

SO! As I was saying, for the sake of paying respects to one of our Founding Fathers, we collectively decided to henceforth rate all weight in Miffles.

REX chimes in.

REX

What is a miffle? What is that?

CAM looks to REX.

CAM

In your terms, 1 miffle = 20.27818 of your normal "pounds".

REX stares directly at CAM without replying. CAM shakes his head and turns to his office door and opens it. He disappears inside and comes back with a large stained chart on a faded piece of paper. He shows it to BOBBY, CHRIS and REX.

CAM

Be very careful with this. Robert Mifflin drafted this himself in this very warehouse the day he mapped out the Paper Belt.

CHRIS asks.

CHRIS

Wait. What is the Paper Belt?

CAM scratches his scalp in annoyance.

CAM

Ever heard of the Bible Belt? Sun Belt? Well. Robert Mifflin charted out the Paper Belt. A large chunk of the Northeastern seaboard. A merger of what you know as the Appalachia Belts and the Rust Belts. Unfortunately, he had to work around some legislation with land tax so Robert Mifflin never pursued it's official designation. We in the paper world know it and respect it. You will someday, too.

CHRIS looks at CAM with bewildered eyes. CHRIS looks back down to the paper.

CHRIS

Fascinating.

CAM

It truly is. It's a piece of DUNDER MIFFLIN history. It's value is – priceless. Only us warehouse workers know the document is actually here. The damn suits upstairs don't even know. The think it's in Fort Knox.

Without thinking, REX blurts out.

REX

Why not laminate it then?

A dark look comes across CAM's face. REX suddenly knows he made an error.

CAM

Listen son. Lamination is going to be the downfall of the paper industry. Lamination allows single pieces of paper to live 5 years past it's optimum shelf life. 5 years. Within those 5 years, how many jobs were lost because of a single lamination. The suits upstairs don't get the big picture but we down here in the muddy trenches know - and we know damn well ! – lamination is slow and preventable death we can avoid in the paper industry. Soon, you'll hear kids adding "Rock- Laminated Paper- Scissors". You'll throw off the balance. It shouldn't be!

BOBBY

I'm sorry, CAM. I don't think we meant anything by it. We are happy you are being so open and welcoming to us. Maybe, you tell us what's on the chart. Let's forget about the lamination, shall we?

CAM's dark look slowly fades as he looks away from REX.

CAM

Good. I won't stand for lamination talk in my house. Capeesh?

CAM pauses for affect before raising the chart. As he does, the three men each tuck their laminated "passes" they got from DWIGHT into their shirts. CAM slowly smiles and mouths "Thank You."

CAM

Good. Now. You see; 1 and 1 ½ Reads to a ¼ Miffle. 2 Miffles equal a Tworobb. We stack our pallets by the Tworobbs. Started that in '88. However, this is where it gets tricky. If the Cinder Percentage is over 10, then we cannot stack our Tworobbs by the twosomes, we do a lonesome Tworobb and we call that a Single-cinder.

BOBBY scans the paper. The three men are completely stunned. CAM awaits them to respond. CHRIS breaks the silence.

CHRIS

Why . . . Tworobb? What is that? Story there?

Without hesitation CAM replies.

CAM

Robert Dunder. Robert Mifflin. Two Robs. TWO . . .ROBBS. The extra B is to show there are two. Quite simple really.

Again, the group goes quiet. CHRIS speaks again.

CHRIS

Cinder . . . percentage –

CAM

Sugar content in the paper. The damn wine industry uses brix, we use Cinders. Cinderblocks are BIGGER and BETTER than bricks. Paper is bigger and better than the wine industry. They think they have snobs? Haha! Wait until you meet a paper snob. A paper sampling night rivals any good wine sampling night any day. Trust me.

CHRIS nods.

CHRIS

Hmm. Makes sense . . . but one last thing –

CAM stops CHRIS from speaking. CAM notices two employees struggling to stack boxes on a pallet.

CAM

Excuse me gentlemen. I do see we need some assistance on BRAVO Company. Set your camera up and I'll be sure to comply with an interview in my office in a moment. BRAVO COMPANY! I see you! Reinforcements are incoming! Barcodes facing OUT!

CAM takes the chart and puts it back in his office. He comes out jogging and heads over to the two men who smile when he arrives. The three easily lift up the boxes onto the pallet. They all share high-fives and CAM jogs back to the BOBBY, CHRIS, and REX.

CAM

Well? what are we waiting for? We pride ourselves on efficiency! Let's get efficient!

CAM enters his office and BOBBY; CHRIS and REX enter with a new found sense of hope – but also curiosity.

END SCENE

INT. ED TRUCK'S OFFICE.

ED TRUCK HAS CALLED JUDY IN TO HIS OFFICE. SHE IS SEATED FACING HIM. DAVID WALLACE IS SEATED NEXT TO ED TRUCK. STANLEY IS STANDING AT THE DOOR WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED. ED TRUCK IS LOOKING AT A PAGE ON HIS DESK. HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING FOR A FEW MINUTES. THE TENSION IS THICK IN THE AIR. AFTER A FEW MINUTES MORE OF SILENCE, JUDY GOES TO GET UP.

ED TRUCK

Hold that thought, JUDY. First off. How are you. How's the kids. How are you – doing. Like doin' doing?

JUDY

I'm fine ED TRUCK. You know I don't have any kids.

ED TRUCK nods.

ED TRUCK

So DWIGHT's home remedy of the "egg in the mailbox" didn't work? He said that if the egg hatched overnight, and there was a chick in the mailbox, it meant you'd bare children. I'm guessing there was . . .

Judy snorts.

judy

No chick. Just yolk. Yolk all over. Thanks for reminding me.

ED TRUCK wipes a bead of sweat off his brow.

ED TRUCK

Right. I forgot you couldn't find a man –

JUDY's eyes go wide as she feels ED TRUCK is about to insult her. ED TRUCK identifies and continues.

ED TRUCK (cont)

Enough to love you and –

JUDY continues to stare.

ED TRUCK (CONT)

Respect you as a wise, old, strong authority figure.

JUDY shimmies in her chair and settles back into the seat. STANLEY coughs as he is surprised by ED TRUCK'S offside comment. JUDY looks to STANLEY.

JUDY

Why the hell is STANLEY here? What's going on?

DAVID WALLACE reads the room and steps in.

DAVID WALLACE

JUDY. Let's cut to the chase here. Your time here at DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON has been . . . well documented. Yes. You've been an important part of this branch's success and rise to be the 2nd overall performing branch within the company.

ED TRUCK turns quickly to DAVID WALLACE.

ED TRUCK

Pardon me?!

DAVID WALLACE looks at ED TRUCK confused.

DAVID WALLACE

We discussed this yesterday. In this very office.

Baffled, ED TRUCK starts rubbing his chin.

ED TRUCK

Darn. I must have nodded off while you were talking.

STANLEY lets out another cough. ED TRUCK snaps in STANELY'S direction.

ED TRUCK

I'm sorry STANLEY. Can we help you?

STANLEY seems offended by ED TRUCK's comment. STANLEY fires back.

STANLEY

You asked me to be in here ED TRUCK. You wanted "muscle in the room just in case."

JUDY

Just in case what?

ED TRUCK rubs his chin again.

ED TRUCK

That does sound like something I would say.

DAVID WALLACE

Guys, guys. Let's get back to it. The matter at hand here JUDY is that we are going to have to let you go. We value you as an employee and wish you nothing but the best – but –

JUDY suddenly catches on to what is happening. She goes on the offensive.

JUDY

I see you are firing me. That's fine. I've been waiting for this moment for a while. I'll be on the first flight out of here. My brother has 4 Blockbuster locations and he needs me to run one in Bakersfield. But ED TRUCK, you remember our deal? Back in '85?

ED TRUCK leans back in his chair gritting his teeth. He looks over to DAVID WALLACE who was preparing to hand JUDY a stack of exit papers.

david wallace

JUDY. We wish you the best. Consider this your exit interview. Effective immediately, we are relieving you of your duties here at DUNDER MIFFLIN. STANLEY, may you leave us? Please send TOBY in at once. HR needs to be here to document this.

DAVID WALLACE reaches across to hand the papers to JUDY and the desk and shakes JUDY's hand.

STANLEY

Sure thing boss.

STANLEY rushes out of ED TRUCK's office. ED TRUCK is still silent.

JUDY

You do remember our little deal, ED TRUCK. Those high flying 80's in the paper world really can consume a man. You seen the top of the mountain. You remember how you got there? You remember what you told me?

Suddenly, ED TRUCK has a longing look in his eyes and is staring off into the ceiling. Slowly, a smile comes across his face. He looks back down to JUDY.

ED TRUCK

Those days were crazy. We lived fast and loose. The paper world was glamourous but it also had an ugly side. The fame, the drugs, the violence. The cars. The booze. The "Paper Parties". It was all so much.

DAVID WALLACE looks to JUDY and then to ED TRUCK. He is lost.

DAVID WALLACE

Cmon guys. What's going on.

JUDY

TRUCKER, do you remember when we abandoned Operation Full Court Press? I found you a week later turning origami tricks down in Corpus Christi AND do you remember when I found you what I told you?

ED TRUCK

Yes. A bit of me died that week.

JUDY

Yes. But not the whole bit. What did I tell you?

ED TRUCK

You said: The true death of a salesmen is when he loses his ability to separate his soul from the sale.

DAVID WALLACE waves his hands.

DAVID WALLACE

What does that even mean? Alright, guys this has gone too far.

ED TRUCK hadn't broken his stare with JUDY. He quietly mutters.

ED TRUCK

JUDY is right DAVID WALLACE. A paper oath is as good as a blood oath.

JUDY smiles and looks to DAVID WALLACE.

JUDY

It truly is. If it wasn't for me, he'd still be in Corpus Christi turning more than origami tricks by now. I saved ED TRUCK.

ED TRUCK begins to well up. He sniffles. He tries to speak through his emotions but his voice cracks as he does so. A tear streams down ED TRUCK's left cheek. He wipes it quickly with his sleeve.

ED TRUCK

We had quite some wild times, JUDS.

DAVID WALLACE cringes at ED TRUCK's nickname "JUDS" for JUDY.

JUDY

TRCUKER, we did share some wild times. Heck. Remember the door-to-door flyer wars in South Pittsburgh? OR The Presbyterian Turf struggle after the '84 World's Fair in Louisiana? If I remember correctly, it was after we landed the Tokyo Account that you told me on the Cigar Boat in Sagami Bay: "On your last day at DUNDER MIFFLIN – You can do anything you want. You earned it". Do you remember that? On the Cigar Boat? Well today's my last day – and I want to call in my Oath. I have earned it. I also have an idea of what I would like to cash this in on.

DAVID WALLACE wipes his face with his palms. He glances at ED TRUCK whose eye's are now filling with more tears. ED TRUCK has a look in his eyes that he is more than likely replaying the old days.

ED TRUCK

I remember, JUDS. I remember everything. I will honor our blood oath.

DAVID WALLACE

What is this "blood oath"? What was promised? What do you want to do? I am a business man. I am not happy about this but I will value what you two have agreed upon. To an EXTENT! I don't want to raise flags at corporate. I am in-line for a promotion here! I want to have this exit interview run smoothly so I can show my chops to the big wigs at cooperate. Please. You understand my position here?

JUDY smiles cunningly.

DAVID WALLACE

What?

ED TRUCK looks to DAVID WALLACE with his two fists in front of his mouth. ED TRUCK wipes away his tears.

ED TRUCK

This could get messy.

END SCENE

INT. OFFICE. MID AFTERNOON.

ED TRUCK HAS COME OUT OF HIS OFFICE WITH DAVID WALLACE AND JUDY. JUDY IS SMILING. BOTH MEN HAVE A LOOK OF CONCERN ON THEIR FACE. DAVID WALLACE IS CLEARLY AGITATED. ED TRUCK IS SLOUCHED AND HIS EYES ARE RED FROM HIS TEARS.

ED TRUCK

Excuse me everyone. May I have the floor.

Everyone stops working and looks to ED TRUCK. MICHAEL responds.

MICHAEL

Not sure why you'd want the floor, ED TRUCK. Why not ask for something cool – like a rocket-ship . . . to fire TOBY into the sun.

DWIGHT

OHH! Or, perhaps a paper mill. We could mill our own paper. Completely cut out the middle man. I know a few guys at Town Hall. They'd be able to push through the permits. We'd be milling by December.

ED TRUCK waits a moment to respond to MICHAEL and DWIGHT. He then proceeds to speak to the group.

ED TRUCK

We don't need a rocket-ship. We don't' need a papermill. What we will need is a new receptionist. I want to let you all know that a member of our team is leaving us. Today is JUDY's last day. She is moving on.

There is a collective "aww" from the office. TOBY is seen coming out of the HR Office with STANLEY. He has a look of confusion on his face. He stops and looks around the office. MICHAEL yells from his desk.

MICHAEL

It's the beginning of the end! It's the 5th horseman of the Apocalypse! TOBY has come to eat our souls.

TOBY disregards MICHAELS jab and walks over to ED TRUCK.

TOBY

ED TRUCK? What is happening? What's this all about? JUDY's exit interview is to be private. You know this.

DAVID WALLACE sucks his teeth and pulls TOBY aside. He whispers to him.

DAVID WALLACE

JUDY is leaving us. We are announcing her . . . departure . . to the staff. She has negotiated terms. It appears she and ED TRUCK have some sort of deal from an incident in '85. I wish this to not get ugly but apparently – ED TRUCK is allowing this to play out. If your branch wasn't Ranked #2, I'd step in. But – this is business. TOBY. I need you to back me on this. You trust me don't you, TOBY?

TOBY shakes his head and leans to DAVID WALLACE to reply. Meanwhile, PHYLLIS shouts out.

PHYLLIS

What's the matter guys? Why is JUDY leaving?

TOBY turns to the office and yells at the office members in a cracked voice. Not quite stern, not quite childish. Somewhere in the middle.

TOBY

GIVE US A MINUTE! I NEED A MINUTE!

TOBY leans back into DAVID WALLACE. ED TRUCK has retired to his office without the two noticing. JUDY has remained silent the entire time.

TOBY

What is going to happen here, DAVID WALLACE. I have a bad feeling about this.

DAVID WALLACE

ED TRUCK can you –

DAVID WALLACE is interrupted by Judy.

JUDY

Alright, WALLACE. This has gone on long enough. I don't want to renag on my deal. A deal is a deal. Let's get on with it.

TOBY's concern is growing. The urgency in his voice is evident.

TOBY

What's happening here? What is going on!

JUDY cracks her knuckles.

JUDY

It's not about your entrance, it's about your exit. No one remembers how I started my first day but they will certainly remember how I finished my last.

ANGELA

Can everyone just shut up. I'm working.

JUDY looks across the office to ANGELA.

JUDY

I've wanted to say this for a while. I think you *EXPLICIT**EXPLICIT**EXPLICIT*. I don't plan on missing you at all. Rot in hell you *EXPLICIT*EXPLICIT*EXPLICT*.

ANGELA'S eyes go wide as she digests what slander JUDY has thrown her way. The whole office is dead quiet.

OSCAR

Pardon me. But did we change policy on . . .

PHYLLIS interrupts OSCAR and shushes him.

PHYLLIS

Not now! Shh!

ED TRUCK has reemerged from his office just as DAVID WALLACE goes to speak. ED TRUCK puts his hand in front of his chest to stop him. ED TRUCK slowly shakes his head. DAVID WALLACE looks to TOBY. TOBY nervously looks at JUDY. Meanwhile, smiling out of satisfaction, JUDY steps up in front of TOBY and faces the office. She scans the office and locks on DWIGHT.

JUDY

Now with that out of the way. DWIGHT. May you join us up front.

DWIGHT looks around and sees everyone eyeing him. He slowly gets up and walks to the front of the office. He is about 8 ft from JUDY. ED TRUCK reappears from his office. TOBY looks at them and then to DWIGHT.

TOBY

ED TRUCK? What is happening.

ED TRUCK has taken his jacket off and has rolled up his sleeves. In his hands he has dusted chalk. He claps his hands together and a large dust cloud erupts.

ED TRUCK

What needs to happen.

END SCENE.

OUTRO

INT. Hallway. office .

BOBBY, CHRIS AND REX HAVE BEEN SHOWN THE BACK WAY FROM THE WAREHOUSE TO THE OFFICE BY CAM. THEY WRAPPED UP SHOOTING AND ARE ECSTATIC WITH HOW WELL THE WAREHOUSE TEAM COMPLIED. THEY ARE WALKING UP THE HALLWAY TO THE OFFICE TO RECOUNT THEIR EXPERIENCE WITH ED TRUCK AND THE TEAM. IT IS ALMOST TIME TO SHOOT THE INTERVIEWEES AS WELL. BOBBY IS RECORDING THE GUYS – CLEARLY FEELING GOOFY AND RIDING THE HIGH FROM THE ENCOUNTERS IN THE WAREHOUSE. BOBBY IS FILMING.

THE FOLLOWING IS SEEN THROUGH THE CAMERA LENS.

BOBBY (off camera)

Man. That warehouse was clean. Everything was organized. CAM was amazing. I can't get over how organized they all are!

CAMERA PANS TO REX

REX

How about the TOM PEETS guy? He was extraordinary. His ideas for distribution and a store front were fascinating. I really wonder how he'll make out here or if he'll move up through the ranks?

CAMERA PANS TO CHRIS

CHRIS

Wait until ED TRUCK hears about this! I don't know why he didn't mention the warehouse in the first place. This day has been great. This video will look amazing with those shots!

The three have reached the back door from the stairs CAM described to enter the office. CHRIS grabs the knob and pushes through while talking to BOBBY and REX.

chris

Honestly, THAT warehouse was something else. This company is truly a marvel.

As the men enter, they are greeted with a horrific sight. DWIGHT is spread over a desk face up. STANLEY and OSCAR are holding DWIGHT's arms down the side, MICHAEL and CREED are holding his legs. The rest of the office are screaming at JUDY who is over top of DWIGHT feeding him paper while plugging his nose. The lights are dimmed. There are four small garbage bins on the floor emitting fire. BOBBY focuses the camera in pure shock.

BOBBY (off camera)

What the fu –

MICHAEL

We got a squirmer!

Pan to MICHAEL.

MEREDITH

This is kinda hot. I wanna be next.

Pan to MEREDITH. She is twirling her hair in between her fingers and chewing on a pen.

Chants of "EAT! EAT! EAT!" begin. MEREDITH begins banging on a desk with her hands in a dull rhythm. Even ANGELA is clapping along from her desk across the office. PHYLLIS can be seen covering her ears and closing her eyes at her desk. DWIGHT is chewing the paper and has a look of determination on his face. He locks eyes with the camera and continues to chew.

REX

What is happening here?! Where is ED TRUCK?! Where is TOBY?!

ED TRUCK appears out of his office calmly; DAVID WALLACE follows.

Pan to ED TRUCK and DAVID WALLACE.

DAVID WALLACE takes a look at the scene and puts his fist to his mouth. He is clearly sickened. He covers his mouth and then he disappears into ED TRUCKS' office.

Pan to JUDY. She is still stuffing a piece of paper into DWIGHT'S mouth

JUDY

That's right! EAT!

Pan to CREED. He is swinging DWIGHT'S leg to and fro.

CREED

FEET! FEET! FEET!

Pan back to JUDY.

JUDY is now massaging DWIGHTS cheeks aiding his chewing.

CHRIS

Hey! ED TRUCK! Aren't you going to stop this? This is disgusting! Where is TOBY?!

TOBY slides out of ED TRUCK's office looking defeated.

Pan to TOBY.

TOBY

It would be more paperwork for me to not allow this. I don't know. I really don't know.

BOBBY

This is barbaric!

Pan to ED TRUCK. He has made his way over to the camera. He looks dead into the lens. He loosens his tie.

ed truck

This is the Paper World, baby.

END OF EPISODE

This content is non-commercial fan fiction. It was written out of admiration of the original writings. I only intended to present MY OWN view of what COULD have taken place before the original works. Any characters, settings or other details from the original works that have made their way into my stories are owned and belong to NBC Universal and any other relevant copyright holders. I do not own any other Trademarked Materials which includes any mentioned items/people/places/things/etc held in Copyright. This work is available for enjoyment of fellow enthusiast that wish to be taken into a fictitious prologue of the beloved storyline. It is not to be distributed in any manner for the purpose of monetary gain.