Brandon Road / .com

the office: from there to here

The OFFICE: FROM THERE TO HERE. An origin story.

EpiSODE 10: Asbestos it gets

By

Brandon Road

FAde In:

INTRO

FRIDAY EARLY Morning. EDITING STUDIO AT PBS.

IT'S FRIDAY MORNING. BOBBY, CHRIS AND REX ARE JUST FINISHING UP EDITING THE VIDEO TOGETHER FOR THE DUNDER MIFFLIN JOB. THEY'VE BEEN HARD AT IT ALL WEEK. EACH OF THEM ARE IN DIRTY CLOTHES AND UNSHAVEN. TODAY IS THE LAST DAY THAT THEY WERE BUDGETTED TO WORK ON THE PROJECT. PRODUCER TIM IS EAGERLY AWAITING TO SEE THE FINAL PRODUCT BEFORE IT GETS SHIPPED TO DUNDER MIFFLIN. IT'S BEEN A STRESSFUL WEEK FOR EVERYONE.

BOBBY

I think that about does it guys . . .

BOBBY pushes back from the editing desk and rubs is eyes. He takes a sip of coffee which is cold and bitter. He winces as he swallows it.

BOBBY

I couldn't believe the footage we got at that place. That was something else.

CHRIS

They main point is that it's over. Let's get TIM in here and let's give this a watch. REX, go grab TIM.

REX leaves room and returns with TIM.

TIM

Alright fellas. Let's see what magic you've got here.

TIM pulls up a chair in front of the main monitor. He picks up the audio headset and puts them on. TIM then leans forward, clasps his hands together and leans on them with his chin. REX clicks play and the video begins. The video plays and TIM is silent through the whole thing. As the video completes after 5 minutes, TIM slowly takes the headset off. He sets it down and gets up from his chair slowly.

CHRIS

Well? TIM? What do you think?

TIM is now pacing the room in thought.

REX

C'mon TIM. Let us have it. We worked hard on this. You've seen us in here all week editing this thing. The content was challenging and that whole instance with the lawyers was out of our control. We did our best!

TIM draws a deep breath. He puts his hands on his hips and looks to the ceiling.

BOBBY

Well?

TIM

I'll be honest guys. What I just watched was . . . brilliant.

CHRIS looks to BOBBY. They share a smile. REX clinches a fist and subtly pumps it in celebration.

TIM

That video there will be the standard for all corporate videos coming out of this here office. It was educational. It was quick. It was what the client asked for. No fuss. Guys. Great job. I know the client wasn't the easiest to work with – and by the looks of it – one or two of them may have a learning disability – but you three battled. You did wonderful. This is going to look great on your reviews.

CHRIS leans to BOBBY and they share a handshake. REX shakes TIM's hand. The group is excited. CHRIS draws a deep breath out of relief.

CHRIS

You know what, Tim. It feels good to put this behind us. It was an experience to say the least. I hope to never set foot in DUNDER MIFFLIN again. I hope no one from PBS ever has to go there again.

REX laughs

REX

I'd rather die than go back there.

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX all laugh together. TIM looks at CHRIS confused. The confused looks concerns CHRIS right away. The laughter fades slowly.

CHRIS

What, TIM. What's that look for. I don't like that look, TIM.

TIM looks to BOBBY and REX and then back to CHRIS.

TIM

You read the contracts right? You know that you have a "screening" of the video at DUNDER MIFFLIN . . . right? This afternoon. 3pm. Uhh. I thought it was clear?

A look of horror comes across CHRIS' face. BOBBY has gone white. REX begins to tremble.

TIM

Guys. You knew that right? How else did you think the video was getting to them? Clearly they are technologically – delayed – so the HQ at DUNDER MIFFLIN put a clause in the contract that we would deliver a DVD to the branch and have a screening. Try emailing that file across the email world? Cmon. It'd break the internet. And then what? You gonna call the internet guy and speak with the boss there? Cmon. Remember who we are dealing with here.

The three guys don't say anything. They are frozen.

TIM

Guys. Business 1-0-1. Read the contract in full. I would love to join you but – I have a thing. Or something. Anything. Doesn't matter. What matters is that you 3 –

TIM points at BOBBY, CHRIS and REX.

TIM

Are at DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON for the 3pm screening. Today. And that's that.

TIM's stern look identifies that he has made his point and turns around to leave the room. REX goes to speak but no words come out. BOBBY is whiter than he was before. CHRIS slumps into a nearby chair, defeated.

REX

We weren't supposed to ever leave that place.

REX begins to tear up. BOBBY, with tears in his eyes turns to REX and stands directly in front of him. Through his tear, he tries to smile and appear strong.

BOBBY

Yes were. We were always supposed to leave.

BOBBY wipes a tear from REX's cheek.

REX

We have to go back. . .

BOBBY backs away from REX. He taps CHRIS. They begin packing up items, including the DVD. REX has tears down his cheeks by this point.

CHRIS (– to BOBBY)

Give him a minute. He needs some time.

BOBBY sniffles and nods. CHRIS and BOBBY walk to the door. BOBBY looks over his shoulder to REX.

rex

We have to go back . . .

BOBBY doesn't reply. CHRIS and BOBBY exit the room. REX yells to the doorway in a cracking voice.

REX

We have to go back!

END SCENE

(FLASH TO THE OFFICE)

THE DUNDER MIFFLIN OFFICE IS QUIETLY WORKING AWAY. DWIGHT SUDDENLY STANDS UP AND WIDE-EYED. THIS CATCHES THE ATTENTION OF MICHAEL WHO WAS BUSY FLIPPING THROUGH A ROLODEX FULL OF HIS CONTACTS.

MICHAEL

What are you doing, DWIGHT.

DWIGHT looks off into the distance and doesn't reply. MICHAEL gets up from his desk. He sets his Rolodex down and walks up to DWIGHT. He snaps his fingers in front of DWIGHT'S face.

MICHAEL

Hey. Earth to DWIGHT.

DWIGHT looks at MICHAEL with a blank stare.

DWIGHT

They're coming.

MICHAEL appears confused. Suddenly, on MICHAEL's desk, his phone begins to ring. Agitated, MICHAEL picks up the receiver.

MICHAEL

What hey hello who are you what do you need?

PHONE

Hello? MICHAEL? Can I still get that order shipped this week? You never confirmed . . .

MICHAEL grunts. He looks at DWIGHT, who still hasn't moved and then looks to the phone.

MICHAEL

Yeah sure. Whatever. Boo-hoo. For all indenting purposes, we have a larger fish fry happening. Didn't you hear? I'll transfer you to PHYLLIS. She can deal with you. Ok bye.

As MICHAEL points at PHYLLIS – who shakes her head "no" and points back to MICHAEL – he grits his teeth.

MICHAEL (LOW AND DIRECTED AT PHYLLIS)

PHYLLIS!

PHYLLIS crosses her arms in defiance.

MICHAEL (LOW AND DIRECTED AT PHYLLIS)

Pssststt! PHYLLIS! PSSSTSTSTST!

PHONE

What?

MICHAEL

Hey ya. No. Can't get that order. PHYLLIS's is being a big human shaped garbage can. Good luck.

MICHAEL hangs up the phone. PHYLLIS shakes her head.

PHYLLIS

MICHAEL, you were more than capable of taking that sale. You didn't need to pawn it off. DWIGHT's acting crazy and you are too.

MICHAEL looks at PHYLLIS. He walks over to her desk. He pulls an eraser out of his fanny pack. He tosses it onto PHYLLIS's desk.

MICHAEL

That there . . . is an eraser. I suggest you use it. Erase your attitude.

DWIGHT looks at MICHAEL.

DWIGHT

You gave up a sale to be a part of my defense team. I admire that. We will need your cunning. The Schrute family has survived multiple revenge attacks. Most recently the Midnight Battle of the Weasels of Mole Hill. MICHAEL. We need to prepare for a battle.

MICHAEL nods. He continues back towards his own desk and slides Duke Brothers-style across it; knocking everything onto the floor. He opens up the top drawer and produces a red sticky elastic hand. He begins whipping it back and forth.

MICHAEL

Heyyaaa! Mush!

STANLEY is busy on the phone with a customer but also curling a small dumbbell with his free hand. He puts the phone receiver to his chest and yells to DWIGHT and MICHAEL.

STANLEY

Hey guys! This battle. Will it affect our work at all or can I expect to wrap this up by … lunch.

DWIGHT

STANLEY. Battles can last weeks. Days. Decades. You should know that.

STANLEY nods and speaks back into the phone.

STANLEY

Sorry about that. Nope, I think there shouldn't be any disruption to the delivery date. Just had to double check. We have a battle coming up.

STANLEY laughs into the phone and leans back in his chair.

STANLEY

Brother. I don't know. So can I mark you down for 10 those cases my man? Can't beat the price break on the card stock too!

END SCENE

Start of episode

DUNDER MIFFLIN. WAREHOUSE. MID MORNING.

THERE'S A BUZZ IN THE OFFICE AS THE NEWS HAS BROKE THAT THE PBS CREW WILL BE RETURNING IN THE AFTERNOON FOR THE SCREENING OF THE VIDEO. ED TRUCK WAS PERSONALLY CONTACTED BY THE CUSTOMER MICHAEL HUNG UP ON THE PHONE. DWIGHT AND MICHAEL ARE NOW IN ED TRUCK'S OFFICE – SITTING ACROSS FROM ED TRUCK WHO IS AT HIS DESK. HE IS UNIMPRESSED WITH THEM BEING PREOCCUPIED WITH PREPPING THEMSELVES FOR WHAT THEY CALLED A "BATTLE".

ED TRUCK

DWIGHT. I thought I was clear the last time you two got all worked up over an upcoming battle. I said it once and I'll say it again, no one is out to get you!

DWIGHT grits his teeth. He lowers his head and stares at ED TRUCK over his glasses.

DWIGHT

Psh. If I'm aware my adversaries are after me, it's too late for them. I pity them.

ED TRUCK

See. Right there. The snide comments. I don't respect that. Don't be snide! Are you being snide?!

DWIGHT fidgets in his chair. He looks to MICHAEL who staring straight ahead.

ED TRUCK

No. Don't look at him. You drag MICHAEL into these hair brain wacky theories. He is easily manipulated, and he doesn't know better. He has his own problems.

MICHAEL goes to speak but is cut off by ED TRUCK.

ed truck

No. Not yet. I'm not done. MICHAEL. You know who you hung up on? That was the associate for Steamtown Mall. STEAM-TOWN. MALL. They called me directly to complain about you! They are thinking of moving to a different supplier! What do you have to say for yourself and your incompetence!? Where is your wherewithal? Totally unprofessional!

MICHAEL thinks for a moment then replies.

MICHAEL

Firstly, it was PHYLLIS. She refused to be a Team player and she didn't take the call after I asked. A real b-hole move.

ED TRUCK leans forward to speak but DWIGHT raises a finger.

DWIGHT

No. You had your turn to speak so MICHAEL gets a chance at a fair trial. This is America.

DWIGHT looks to MICHAEL and motions for him to proceed. ED TRUCK shakes his head and sits back in his chair unimpressed but willing to listen.

MICHAEL

Thank you, DWIGHT. See that's a team player. DWIGHT isn't a b-hole. But. Now. Under skills and attributes on my monthly resume submission . . . you will see certain improvements and I will highlight those for you next month. You can count on me to improve. I will win back STEAMTOWN MALL. I promise my life on it.

DWIGHT turns to MICHAEL confused. ED TRUCK shakes his head and gathers his thoughts.

ED TRUCK

MICHAEL. Okay. Please. STEAMTOWN is a valued client. We need to continue to provide our outstanding service. You are the pinnacle of performance here. Remember that. And as for the resumes … we discussed this. You don't have to submit a resume to me month after month. It's unnecessary.

DWIGHT

You submit a resume once a month? Why?

MICHAEL

Uhhh. Have you ever heard of "That Time of the Month?"

ED TRUCK slowly exhales and closes his eyes. DWIGHT blinks quickly and repeatedly.

DWIGHT

MICHAEL, that refers to when a -

ED TRUCK slams his fist on his desk.

ED TRUCK

Enough! Not now, DWIGHT. MICHAEL. We will discuss "Your Time of the Month" later. More importantly, this is how this will go.

ED TRUCK passes DWIGHT and MICHAEL a 8.5 x 11 page with bullet points. DWIGHT and MICHAEL begin to read it. ED TRUCK stands from his seat and begins to speak slowly and purposely stressing his points on the page.

ED TRUCK

You hold the schedule for this afternoon so there isn't any confusion. The PBS Crew are showing up at 2pm. Our boys from Corporate are showing up at 3pm. They will watch the video, grab the DVD and leave. I assume the PBS crew will not stick around either.

DWIGHT (under his breath)

Better not. . .

ED TRUCK

Don't be snide!

ED TRUCK is now standing with his hands on his hips. He is now flipping between staring at DWIGHT and MICHAEL.

ED TRUCK

DWIGHT, MICHAEL . . . I need your cooperation on this. I'm counting on it. No negotiation. Period. Ok? Drop the "battle" stuff. I honestly expect better out of my Salesman of the Year and you –

ED TRUCK points at DWIGHT and starts snapping his fingers trying to think.

ED TRUCK

What did they call you now? Assistant something?

Before DWIGHT can answer, TOBY leans into the doorway from his desk.

TOBY

Guys. Hey. Uh.. ED TRUCK, our final potential hire for the receptionist position is here. The one from the phone interviews .. . She is ready when you are . . .

ED TRUCK looks to TOBY.

ED TRUCK

Thanks, TOBY. Ok. DWIGHT, MICHAEL. You understand?

DWIGHT and MICHAEL look to one another then back to ED TRUCK. They nod. ED TRUCK smiles. From the door, TOBY looks back into reception and then leans back into ED TRUCKS office. He giggles.

TOBY

And I might add she is pretty cute. Her voice didn't disappoint.

ED TRUCK

Not appropriate, TOBY. You of all people should know better. Wow. Okay.

TOBY's excitement disappears right away. ED TRUCK, DWIGHT, and MICHAEL all look at one another. They all jump up and clamber to the office window over-looking reception. After a few minutes of struggling, ED TRUCK finally overcomes DWIGHT and MICHAEL and peers through the blinds.

ED TRUCK

What's her name? Is this the one I spoke to on Wednesday. Pat?

TOBY

Pam . . . Beesly.

MICHAEL

Sounds exotic. She must be from New York. I wonder if she has kids? Hobbies? I think from here her eye colour is . . . brown.

TOBY looks down to her resume, which he has in his hands.

TOBY

Says here Archbald. So like 20 minutes.

DWIGHT

Ew. Up that country they believe in organic farming. They call their breeder pumpkins "gourds".

TOBY backs to the doorway of ED TRUCK's office. He looks over to PAM. He straightens his posture.

Toby

PAM. We will see you now.

PAM (out of sight)

Excellent. I'm appreciative of this opportunity.

PAM makes her way to ED TRUCK's office. DWIGHT and MICHAEL are exiting. DWIGHT doesn't acknowledge PAM and heads straight to the kitchen. MICHAEL stops and gives her the finger guns.

MICHAEL

Eyyy!

PAM awkward looks at MICHAEL. She sizes him up and seems put off by is overly friendly demeanor.

PAM

Umm. Hello. My name is PAM BEESLY and I am here for the final interview for the receptionist position.

MICHAEL closes his eyes and appears to be thinking hard. PAM is standing in front of him unsure of what to do. He brings his hand to his temple and begins tapping it with his index finger. With his eyes closed, he begins to speak.

MICHAEL

PAM. 3 letter word. Like hot. Hot damn. Hot Pam. Beesly. She's not beast-ly. Hot damn Pam the not Beastly. Boom –

MICHAEL opens his eyes and looks at PAM with a big smile.

MICHAEL

PAM BEESLY. Wahla.

PAM seems put off, so she meekly smiles and heads into ED TRUCKS office. Across the office, JIM is in a tiny makeshift desk that is situated between ANGELA and CREED. His large frame is clearly too big for his current desk situation. He's hard at work but clearly is struggling with the desk.

ANGELA

Can you believe that. Goes into a room with strange men. Alone. Such a hussy.

JIM, who was working, looks up to ANGELA who has a look of disgust as PAM enters ED TRUCK's office. JIM doesn't see PAM as the door closes. He only sees MICHAEL giving the whole office finger guns. CREED walks to JIM's desk and raps his knuckles off the corner. He looks directly at JIM.

CREED

Don't get wise, JACK. I'm the office hunk around here. I get seniority. I've been here for YEARS! I get dibs on the new bird. You got to honor the dibs.

JIM sets his pen down and picks up his coffee mug. He sips is and casually responds.

JIM

My name is JIM. Not JACK. We made this VERY coffee together over in THAT room like, 15 minutes ago. Remember? You even asked me to give you my old socks so you could make me a sweater?

CREED

Yeah. So what. I can combine soaps to make a big soap but I can't combine socks to make a big body sock?

JIM sips his coffee. He turns to CREED.

JIM

Tell me more about this large body sock.

CREED squints and replies quietly.

CREED

First give me the socks.

JIM looks at CREED and then back to ED TRUCK's office door then back to his work.

JIM

How many socks do you need?

CREED leans to JIM and whispers in his ear.

CREED

The secret it using only the left foot socks . . . BUT if you find a foot in the sock I suggest you don't touch it. That is bad.

CREED taps his nose as if to show JIM that he told him a secret.

JIM

How many socks have you found with a foot in it?

CREED looks around the office to see who is listening and replies quietly again.

CREED

None. But I found a glove with a hand in it once so ever since then I've been extra cautious.

CREED smiles cunningly.

JIM

Whoa. What did you do?

CREED taps JIM's desk with his knuckles.

CREED

Get me those socks, JACK. Then we can talk shop.

CREED leaves JIM's desk and heads back to his own. JIM sips his coffee and slowly puts it back down on the desk.

JIM

Well, then.

END SCENE

OFFICE. MID MORNING.

ED TRUCK AND TOBY HAVE FINISHED THEIR INTERVIEW WITH PAM AFTER AN HOUR. THEY EXIT THE OFFICE WITH PAM. THEY ARE ALL SMILING. THE WHOLE OFFICE (MINUS JIM WHO IS BACK IN THE KITCHEN) HAS BEEN BUSY BUT YET WAITING TO HEAR IF THEY WILL BE GETTING A MUCH-NEEDED RECEPTIONIST.

ED TRUCK

Everyone. I need everyone's attention. Please. Eyes on me.

The whole office stops. They all look to ED TRUCK and PAM.

ED TRUCK

It is with great pleasure that I am formally introducing our new team member and receptionist; PAM BEESLY. PAM is joining us with a great attitude for Customer Service and with a strong academic background. PAM will be starting TODAY and will slowly get acquainted with all of you here. Please . . . let's all give PAM a warm welcome.

ED TRUCK backs away from PAM and "presents" PAM to the office (TOBY follows suit); which clearly is awkward for her. The office slowly claps and offers their warm welcome. PHYLLIS stands up and introduces herself to PAM from across the office.

PHYLLIS

Welcome to the team, PAM. My extension is 104. Any new sales leads can come my way!

There is a small low laugh through the office. PHYLLIS is clearly trying to crack and joke but PAM doesn't register. PAM looks to ED TRUCK nervously. PHYLLIS catches on PAM's lack of response and feels slighted. She sits down.

PHYLLIS (under breath)

Bitch.

ED TRUCK

Excellent. Well. I'm going to let PAM get settled so when you are ready and have a few moments – perhaps come up and introduce yourself!

ED TRUCK looks around the office and sees the smiling faces.

ED TRUCK

Ok! DUNDER MIFFLIN TEAM!

ED TRUCK motions for PAM to head to reception. He then disappears into his office. TOBY pipes up.

TOBY

DUNDER MIFFLIN TEAM. YEAH!

TOBY's attempt to add to ED TRUCK's rally call falls flat. The whole office is back to work. He slouches his shoulders and heads back to HR in the Annex. On his way, JIM is exiting the kitchen. He has missed the whole introduction for PAM as he was grabbing a coffee.

JIM

TOBY! What did I miss buddy?

TOBY looks defeated and walks past JIM.

TOBY

Who cares. No one cares.

JIM seems off-put by TOBY's comment. He watches as TOBY slunks back to his desk. Slowly, JIM looks to reception. He sees PAM for the first time. She doesn't see him.

MICHAEL

JIM. Hey JIM.

JIM turns around as MICHAEL is exiting the washroom. He is blowing his hands dry. JIM looks at him confused.

MICHAEL

Out of paper towel. Anyway! Thinking of changing my name to Doctor. What do you think?

JIM sips his coffee.

JIM

Like. Become a doctor or just change your name to Doctor.

MICHAEL

Just change my name. You know, so I can say I'm Doctor MICHAEL SCOTT.

MICHAEL chuckles childishly.

JIM

Wait. Then you'd just be Doctor Scott. You wouldn't be MICHAEL anymore.

MICHAEL stops and thinks.

MICHAEL

You'd be right. I'd be MIKE instead. Like Kosmo Kramer. But Doctor Mike Scott.

JIM scrunches his face. MICHAEL scoffs. He spins his fanny pack around and unzips it to reveal a digital camera. A dunkeroo package falls out as he pulls out the camera. The dunkeroo package is open but it only has the dip left. MICHAEL quickly picks it up.

JIM

Where'd all the little cookies go? Eat em all eh?

MICHAEL stuffs the dunkeroo package back into his fanny pack.

MICHAEL

JIM. Anything can be dunked into the 'roo if you want to. Why stick to just the cookies. Live life on the edge. Just because they supply the cookies doesn't mean you should stop there. Have you ever dunked lobster into the roo?

JIM leans back quickly and then replies.

JIM

Nope, never done that.

MICHAEL

Neither have I but I think it would be great.

MICHAEL begins fiddling with the camera and finally turns it on.

MICHAEL

You like this, JIM? Only cost me my paycheques for the remainder of the year. You know what? The nice man at the Video Store even allowed me to send him my paycheques directly. Isn't that nice. Customer service. I respect the hustle.

JIM's eyes go wide.

JIM

You – garnished your paycheques for the next 6 months for that camera?

MICHAEL

No. I didn't put anything on the paycheques. Should I? Perhaps a little lemon peel? A orange slice maybe? I never even thought of that. Classy touch.

JIM

Wrong garnish. But since you mentioned it . . . I'd go with extra sticky fruit.

JIM sips his coffee again; amused at his own joke.

MICHAEL

Great tip, JIM. I like that. I'll pick up some jackfruit on my skate home. Anyway – I figured I could get in on the action with all the recent videotaping going on here … SOOOO, I filmed a little scene for you! You might recognize it! Hint. It's from the TRUMAN SHOW.

MICHAEL opens the digital camera and rewinds the footage. The footage starts with MICHAEL'S face in the mirror – He is acting out the iconic scene from The TRUMAN SHOW when TRUMAN draws the astronaut helmet on himself in the mirror with the soap. JIM smiles and steps away from MICHAEL. He uses his back to open the kitchen door into the office. He sips his coffee again.

JIM

Riveting stuff MICHAEL. Time and money well spent. Can't wait for episode two.

MICHAEL returns the camera to his fanny pack. He looks at JIM.

MICHAEL

That's the nicest thing I've heard all month.

JIM nods, raises his mug.

JIM

Glad I could help, buddy.

MICHAEL goes to the fridge smiling. Before he opens it, he looks to JIM.

MICHAEL

This calls for a Dunk of my Baby Bottle Pop. Where the heck is it in here.

As he opens the door he begins searching and moving items within the fridge. Suddenly, a container falls out and spills on the floor.

MICHAEL

Ooopsy poopsy! Gahh! What's that stench! It's like TOBY has died in here. This is horrible! It smells like it has been in the fridge for months!

MICHAEL proceeds to try and kick the unknown liquid back into its container. He is only making more of a mess. MICHAEL is gagging at this point.

As JIM exits, he quips.

JIM

Make a video about it.

MICHAEL looks at JIM as he disappears into the office.

MICHAEL (UNDER BREATH)

Maybe I will.

END SCENE

ED TRUCK OFFICE. JUST AFTER LUNCH

ED TRUCK IS PICKING PARTS OF A SUB SANDWICH FROM HIS TEETH AT HIS DESK. HE IS ENAMOURED WITH THE SANDWICH. HIS DOOR IS OPEN. JIM HAS MADE HIS WAY TO THE DOOR FRAME. HE KNOCKS QUICKLY AND ENTERS.

JIM

Hey, ED TRUCK. How's the day been.

ED TRUCK looks at JIM and then down to his desk where a sandwich wrapper sits empty.

ED TRUCK

I won't lie to you. STANLEY has been bringing in these "submarine sandwiches" from his trips to see his friend in college in Indiana. He swears by these things. He goes every other weekend and brings me back one.

JIM nods.

JIM

Wow. He must be really close with his friend at the college. Did he attend Indiana? That's a far drive from here . . .

ED TRUCK stops. He looks to JIM. He lowers his voice.

ED TRUCK

JIM. STANLEY is a fine man. He's a hell of a salesman. He is also a man who has a particular "appetite" to try new things and he's been known to take a bite out of the Forbidden Fruit from time to time. Look at him. He's a specimen. Almost too much man for one woman . . .

JIM stares blankly ahead.

ED TRUCK

. . . bi-weekly "Sales Visits". Friend from College . . . STANLEY . . .

ED TRUCK tilts his head and raises his eye brows. JIM shakes his head slowly as to signal he doesn't follow what ED TRUCK is insinuating. ED TRUCK motions for JIM to shut the door. JIM turns and shuts the door. When he turns around, he connects the dots.

JIM

. . . but STANLEY has a family? . .

ED TRUCK

JIM. I don't want to spell this out. I know you're a bright guy and you just started here but listen and listen good. No mention of Indiana or the sandwiches beyond this room. If TERI was to find out, she'd leave his ass in a heartbeat and take MELISSA with her. You follow?

JIM smiles.

JIM

What sandwiches?

ED TRUCK

Exactly.

As he says this, ED TRUCK picks up a lone olive slice from the wrapper in front of him and pops it into his mouth.

ED TRUCK

You know what else STANELY said about these? They help you lose weight even. Keep you trim. I guess that's why he's such a fit human being!

JIM

Lose weight? Really. How.

ED TRUCK

JIM. STANLEY told me he trusts their new spokesman there – Jeff. . . or JAROD. Or John or something – he says he trusts the company as much as he trusts BILL COSBY!

JIM

Wow. That's bold. That's a lot of trust.

ED TRUCK

Yeah JIM. Bill friggin' Cosby. TV's beloved dad. So would STANLEY steer me wrong? He knows because he is STANLEY. He's STANLEY because he knows.

JIM

Well. Didn't think I'd be walking into a conversation like this but uh –

ED TRUCK

JIM. You just caught me at the end of my lunch. Here's a quick tip -

ED crumples the wrapper and pushes it into a drawer of his desk. He wipes the crumbs into the drawer as well. A jar of mayo he had out on his desk is stuffed in last.

JIM (under breath)

Ahh, got to refrigerate that.

ED TRUCK shuts the drawer and looks at JIM without having heard the comment.

ED TRUCK

Here at DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON. I have implemented a strict "No Lunch with the Boss" policy. Sure, we are "family" here but even families need breaks time to time. From my early years in the mills, I always had a clear line between employees and their employer. This is now my factory. I need to draw that line. It starts with lunch. First, we're having lunch with one another and then we're sharing a shower and before we know it you've moved in and we start a family. We cannot have that here. Work and Life. Do not mix. You follow me? I'm sure TOBY explained it to you but please JIM . . . honor this rule. It's one of my big Do Not Do's. Don't do it. Do you get what I want you to not to do?

JIM

No Lunch with Boss Policy. We're a family – but not. So. . . Not do.

ED TRUCK

Do not . . .

ED TRUCK perks up and is expecting to have JIM finish his thought.

JIM

Do.

ED TRUCK nods and points at JIM as he repeats it.

ED TRUCK

Do. Not. Do.

ED TRUCK holds a stare which makes JIM squirm. ED TRUCK then smiles.

ED TRUCK

And the sandwiches?

JIM

Do. Not. Do.

ED TRUCK smiles harder and rocks back and forth in his chair.

ED TRUCK

Enough policy talk. How's it goin' with you. Gettin' the lay of the land by now? I'll be honest we have quite the team and there are certainly some characters out there.

JIM slides into the office chair in front of ED TRUCK's desk and sits.

jim

Yeah. All good. Tons of characters. But. Got a tiny little problem. I am going to need a more – feasible desk. My current situation is not – ideal.

ED TRUCK furrows his brow and looks into the office to JIM's desk. At that moment, CREED can be seen picking his nose. He looks around and then flicks it onto JIM's desk. ED TRUCK winces and focuses back to JIM.

ED TRUCK

Alright. I can see how it could be an issue. How's this. Run out and check in with PAM. I've flagged her file internally so that she's doubling as "Office Coordinator" – I didn't tell her BUT -

JIM goes to speak but ED TRUCK cuts him off.

ED TRUCK(cont)

BUT. She can set you up. I think PAM could direct you to a new desk. I know DWIGHT and MICHAEL have an "Auxiliary Desk" for office supplies – PAM can check that.

JIM

Hey. That's awesome. Progress is progress.

JIM stands up satisfied. Through the window behind ED TRUCK, JIM notices a large truck pulling into the parking lot. On the side of the truck is a hazardous materials logo.

JIM

Uh oh. Looks like we got visitors.

ED TRUCK whips around and stares into the parking lot. He turns around and has a look of horror on his face. He begins frantically searching the drawers of his desk throwing items everywhere. JIM nods and turns to leave.

JIM

Perfect. Thanks.

ED TRUCK (as he is searching)

Not today! Not today of all days! Not today!

ED TRUCK finally comes upon the item he was looking for. It is a crumpled up sticky note. He returns to the window and whispers to himself.

ED TRUCK

Uh oh. I have only one option.

END SCENE

WAREHOUSE. DAY.2pm.

ED TRUCK IS FEVERISHLY SCANNING THE WAREHOUSE FOR CAM. HE IS SWEATING AND IS IN COMPLETE DISARRAY. HE STOPS HIS SEARCH AND SPINS IN A CIRLCE. HE QUICKLY RE-TIES HIS SHOE. THE WAREHOUSE WORKERS ARE CONTINUING THEIR WORK AND NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ED TRUCK. HE CATCHES HIS BREATH AND THEN YELLS TO THE WAREHOUSE.

ED TRUCK

Where the heck is CAM!?

The whole warehouse comes to a stop and everyone looks to ED TRUCK. CAM is on the top of a scissor lift with a fellow worker picking boxes. He hands the worker his clipboard, picks up a rope and tosses it over the side of the scissor lift. He repels down the lift confidently. As he hits the ground, he drops and does a quick set of 10 pushups and then heads over to ED TRUCK.

CAM

ED TRUCK. You know the rules. Warehouse is off limits to –

CAM fixes ED TRUCKS tie and pats his shoulders.

CAM

-office folks. Do I need to remind you of the Treaty we all signed. The Founding Paper Fathers all agreed that day that there would be an armistice.

ED TRUCK steps closer to CAM.

ED TRUCK

I'll say this once. I need your help.

CAM chuckles. He then opens his arms wide and exclaims to the entire warehouse in a booming laughing voice.

CAM

The office man needs our help!

The warehouse erupts in jeers and laughter. CAM allows it to proceed. He then raises a clinched fist and the warehouse falls silent immediately - as if on que.

CAM

You have 30 seconds of my time. Proceed.

ED TRUCK

They are here today to remove the asbestos.

CAM closes his eyes.

CAM

You've got to be kidding me.

ED TRUCK

I am not. They are outside. They just showed up . . . what are we to do. We were supposed to not be here and have the building prep'd for them.

CAM remains silent.

ED TRUCK

And! We have the screening today of the training video at –

ED TRUCK looks down to his watch.

ED TRUCK

3pm. It's 2pm now. And corporate wanted DAVID WALLACE here to collect the DVD and take it to head office – CAM. . . we're cooked!

CAM

This is an ish – YOU. Not an ish – ME. But. In the light of the situation . . . it leaves me no choice but to . . .

CAM swallows and exhales slowly.

CAM

No choice but to help. I, unlike you, have prepared the warehouse since we were told of the asbestos in the building last month. You never told us the date that this was happening so we went ahead and prep'd over our lunch hours for the past 4 weeks. So. Listen closely. I will go out and talk to them and have them begin their inspection out here. Then, they can proceed to head into the office tomorrow.

ED TRUCK beams and goes to hug CAM.

CAM

On one condition. WAIT. TWO conditions.

ED TRUCK stops his advance.

CAM

We all go home. Now. Extended weekend. With pay. No questions asked.

ED TRUCK looks around nervously. CAM doesn't waver. After a minute or two – ED TRUCK begins shaking his head furiously.

ED TRUCK

Ok ok ok. Yes. You let all the staff know. Let them know it was my idea. What's your second condition.

CAM points across the warehouse to TOM PEETS.

cam

Haha, won't tell them that. But yes, Condition #2. That man there, TOM PEETS has been denied transfer request after transfer request to move into your Accounting Dept. My 2nd condition is that you honor that good man's request to transfer.

ED TRUCK shakes his head.

ED TRUCK

I can't. Does he even have accounting experience? I cannot just make another accounting role? On top of that – what will you do to replace him? This is insanity!

CAM runs his tongue over the teeth at the top of his mouth. He takes his right index finger and puts it to his left index finger as if to count his points.

CAM

TOM is the best man for an accounting job I know. You either honor this – or - YOU have a "situation". A situation that YOU caused.

CAM then moves his right index finger to the left middle finger.

CAM

Your new secretary, PAM . . . well. I talked to her last week in the parking lot and her boyfriend is looking for a new job. I guess from what she told me – he has the physique and the mindset to really be a team player here. A real "warehouse type" guy. Ya know? PAM's boyfriend can replace TOM. I usually have a feeling for these things. I'm sure if it ever were to go the other way you'd allow it so . . . there. Those are the terms.

ED TRUCK looks back and forth flustered. He then glances to his watch. He stomps his foot.

ED TRUCK

I'll make it happen. Damn. Damn you, CAM. You S.O.B. I won't forget this.

CAM folds his arms.

CAM

I hope you don't.

ED TRUCK flairs his nostrils and clinches his fists. CAM smirks. ED TRUCK scampers back towards the office. ED TRUCK's shoe has come undone again. CAM yells.

CAM

Suit! Your shoe! You'll trip!

ED TRUCK stops and looks to his shoe. He begins hoping trying to tie it. Eventually he takes it off and launches it into the warehouse. ED TRUCK continues running but with only one shoe.

ED TRUCK

No time!

END SCENE

RECEPTION DESK. OFFICE DAY.

JIM HAD GATHERED HIS THINGS FROM HIS TEMP. DESK AND IS MAKING HIS WAY OVER TO RECPETION TO SPEAK TO PAM ABOUT HIS NEW DESK. AS HE APPROACHES, PAM NOTICES HIM AND FIXES HER HAIR. A SMILE COMES ACROSS HER FACE AS HE APPROACHES. JIM SMILES AND LOOKS DOWN TO HIS SHOES. AT THE EDGE OF RECEPTION, HE SETS HIS BOX OF ITEMS UP ON THE DESK.

JIM

Hey. I'm JIM. I believe you are the one to talk to about getting my desk set up over –

JIM turns to DWIGHT and MICHAEL's workstation across the office. There is an open desk between them. DWIGHT is staring back at JIM; furious.

JIM

There with uhh, DWIGHT.

PAM smiles.

PAM

Yes, JIM. Nice to meet you. I already went over to speak with DWIGHT and MICHAEL. ED TRUCK took off in a hurry but he left me a detailed note saying that you are to join them. I just need you to fill this little form out.

PAM smiles at JIM and produces a piece of paper and a small pencil. PAM hands them to JIM. Jim laughs.

JIM

Sure is tight on supplies around here. Can't even afford full pencils.

PAM snickers and looks around cautiously.

PAM

Those came from a box in ED TRUCK's office labelled "Pine Hills Golf". They are golf pencils!

The two snicker again. JIM begins to start filling out the form. He pulls his head back and laughs.

JIM

What the heck is desk inseam and what exactly does he mean by width of spread?

PAM shrugs.

PAM

I don't know. ED TRUCK just told me to have you fill it out.

JIM shakes his head and fills out the rest of the form. He finishes and hands it and the half pencil back to PAM. PAM only takes the paper.

PAM

Keep the pencil. Consider it a gift.

PAM and JIM share a moment with a genuine smile. JIM begins to blush as he puts the half pencil in his pocket.

JIM

Okay then. It'll be my lucky pencil.

JIM smiles and shuffles his feet. PAM gets up and makes her way around the reception desk. They begin walking together towards JIM's new desk. JIM scans the office to see everyone working.

JIM (TO PAM)

It's quite peaceful you know . . . in a crazy way.

PAM smiles and looks to JIM. They lock eyes.

PAM

Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate . . . DWIGHT.

Both JIM and PAM look to DWIGHT who hasn't moved and is still staring at them. JIM and PAM look at one another and share a smile. JIM heads towards his new desk and PAM heads back to reception. PAM gets back to reception and sits down. She steals a quick glance over to JIM as she settles into her chair. JIM is slowly unpacking his items and setting up his desk. DWIGHT is now just staring at JIM. PAM smiles and returns to working at her desk.

END SCENE

OUTRO

DUNDER MIFFLIN PARKING LOT. 2:30PM.

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX ARE PULLING INTO THE PARKING LOT FOR THE 3PM SCREENING. THEY WANTED TO ARRIVE EARLY TO PREP THE VIEWING SO THEY COULD GET IT OVER WITH SEAMLESSLY. THEY PULL INTO THE PARKING LOT AND SEE THE HAZARDOUS WASTE TRUCK – CAM IS SPEAKING TO WHO APPEARS IS THE BOSS.

BOBBY

What the heck is this? I don't like the looks of this.

They pass the truck as they enter the parking lot. CHRIS pulls their van into a parking space. The 3 of them get out.

REX

I knew it. We're doomed. This place is cursed.

CHRIS notices another car pulling into the parking lot. It's DAVID WALLACE. He shares a similar look of concern and confusion as he sees the Hazardous Waste truck. DAVID WALLACE parks and gets out of his vehicle quickly.

DAVID WALLACE

Guys?! What's going on? Can someone tell me what's going on? CAM?

CAM turns to DAVID WALLACE and motions for him to join the conversation he is having. DAVID WALLACE marches over, he shakes CAM's hand and the Boss' hand. They begin a heated and animated discussion. They are out of ear shot so BOBBY, CHRIS and REX cannot hear the conversation.

REX

Guys. I don't like the looks of this.

CHRIS motions for REX to be silent.

CHRIS

REX. We went through this on the ride over. Everything will be fine.

Meanwhile, DAVID WALLACE has finished his conversation with Cam and the other Boss. He is approaching the 3 men – deep in thought. When he arrives, a grim look is on his face.

DAVID WALLACE

Guys. I do appreciate you coming today. PBS has been a real strong partner of ours. I really do like this relationship.

DAVID WALLACE pauses – which makes BOBBY, CHRIS and REX lean in intently. DAVID WALLACE looks at all the men, then back over his shoulder to CAM who is still conversing with the Boss. CAM is pointing to the warehouse it seems. The Boss seems upset but his body language shows he is listening. DAVID WALALCE puts his hands in his pockets and addresses the 3 men.

DAVID WALLACE

Okay. So we may have a – Asbestos problem in the office.

BOBBY recoils and REX's eyes go wide. CHRIS is unphased.

DAVID WALLACE

I know. I know. It's not the best of situations but we are cleaning it up. Today. Apparently. So. CAM and the warehouse TEAM have volunteered to have the warehouse cleared first – as they are prepared.

DAVID WALLACE stops and lets his point sink in before he begins again.

DAVID WALLACE

What that means for the screening is that we have 1 hour inside the office before we need to vacate for the Asbestos screening and removal.

REX

We were in a building that was lined with Asbestos for a full . . . week? What about the every day employees?!

DAVID WALLACE

Yes. But listen. We are being proactive here. You must understand we've had only the best of intentions. Heck. Asbestos isn't even that bad! Just don't touch it.

BOBBY looks to CHRIS. CHRIS is still unphased. Nonchalant. BOBBY looks to REX.

BOBBY

REX. Let's finish this. I've seen the news reports on asbestos. I think if we don't disrupt it – we are fine. It's fine. We are fine.

REX looks to all the men and then nods slowly. As if on que, MICHAEL exits the office doors – he is smiling. He approaches the group.

MICHAEL

Hey! Video dudes! Cowabunga! Came back for more of me?

BOBBY, CHRIS and REX nod to acknowledge him. MICHAEL salutes DAVID WALLACE, who salutes him back; with a confused look on his face. MICHAEL points to the Hazardous Waste truck.

MICHAEL

What gives? Are we finally addressing TOBY's breath?

DAVID WALLACE

Asbestos removal today apparently. But don't worry. The screening will happen now, and we can all put this behind us.

MICHAEL

What's Asbestos?

DAVID WALLACE puts his arm around MICHAEL. DAVID WALLACE looks to BOBBY, CHRIS and REX and nods to the office as to invite them in. They return a concerned look.

DAVID WALLACE

Walk with me, MICHAEL.

MICHAEL

AS- As in this is the – BEST- best place – TO work? ASBESTOS? Is this another fancy office word? Like ASAP? EOD? ROI?

DAVID WALLACE nods and smiles. They begin walking toward the front doors together. BOBBY, CHRIS and REX follow behind.

MICHAEL

This place never seats two and it amazes me.

DAVID WALLACE draws a deep breath. He rubs MICHAEL'S shoulder. He looks back to BOBBY, CHRIS and REX.

DAVID WALLACE

Sure it does, MICHAEL.

As DAVID WALLACE looks back, he notices the line of warehouse workers filing out into the parking lot. The Hazardous Waste Removal Team has begun to move the truck and head toward the warehouse – they are all geared up in the HAZMAT Suits as well. By now, the group has reached the front door to the office. As they enter, BOBBY sees the workers leaving as well. He looks to DAVID WALALCE.

david wallace

(. . . .)

DAVID WALLACE goes to speak but nothing comes out. He searches for something to say to BOBBY but instead settles for a shrug and he ushers BOBBY inside.

END OF EPISODE

This content is non-commercial fan fiction. It was written out of admiration of the original writings. I only intended to present MY OWN view of what COULD have taken place before the original works. Any characters, settings or other details from the original works that have made their way into my stories are owned and belong to NBC Universal and any other relevant copyright holders. I do not own any other Trademarked Materials which includes any mentioned items/people/places/things/etc held in Copyright. This work is available for enjoyment of fellow enthusiast that wish to be taken into a fictitious prologue of the beloved storyline. It is not to be distributed in any manner for the purpose of monetary gain.