September 30, 2010
Isabelle continued to keep to herself. If she wasn't with the group (which was most of the time), the best guess to her location would have been hunting either alone or with Daryl. Yeah, he wasn't too keen on having a hunting partner but hey, she eventually proved herself.
But just because she was doing well at avoiding the group didn't mean she wasn't the topic of their conversations. Not that they were speaking maliciously behind her back, rather they were quite concerned with where her head was at. They were never frightened of her; hell they never really lacked trust in her either. It's just the whole issue with her being singled out by the doctor at the CDC that made her the topic of a lot of people's conversations. That and her all of a sudden transformation into an introvert had the group either concerned or plain worried.
Now, if only the group knew the whole truth. Sure most of them could overcome the whole blood being unknown, it could have been a simple human error or even a glitch in the CDC's testing, but that seemed unlikely. But if – no, when they would find out that instead she was bitten, it would be a different story, regardless if she couldn't recall it or not. Isabelle would be seen as a liability to the group, she compromised their safety by withholding this information.
And that truly frightened the hell out of her.
The group continued on the highways leaving Atlanta, following where there was a clear path. Not only did Isabelle grow increasingly paranoid of the group, but they also began to feel the same of her.
"What's been going on with her lately, Rick? You're the closest one to her and she was a hell of a lot more talkative before the CDC. Something happened back there and it's making the whole group worried." Dale asked Rick one night during watch, where most of the group lay asleep in their respective cars. They'd made a pit stop for the night after clearing the area of any walkers.
Rick shook his head confused, "I wish I could give you a good answer. I'm worried too, but I don't want to push her into talking or anything." He hoped that that answer would be good enough for Dale, since he really didn't know more than anyone else in the group.
"I don't know, Rick," Dale didn't want to push either but when it came to the group being worried, he needed an answer, "She's always disappearing at night, the day even, doesn't join us for dinner anymore. Do you think maybe she wants to-"
Rick cut him off, "No. She doesn't want to leave. She's just dealing with a lot." He wondered why the conversation couldn't have just been left at that. What was so hard to understand about that? She was simply going through a lot and most likely just wanted some alone time.
"So is everyone else," Andrea chimed in. She couldn't sleep, and overheard their conversation. "What aren't you telling us?" Before Rick could answer she continued, "Dale's right. Something is off with her, and I really would hate for it to hurt the group."
He grew frustrated, "She wouldn't betray the group if that's what you're getting at. I think- I know it's probably because she's stressed from what happened back at the CDC."
"Again, so is everyone else. You don't see me or anyone else running off in the middle of the night or avoiding everybody. Rick, I lost Amy, my own sister! But I've still tried my hardest to keep it together for the most part, even though there's times where I want to just say 'screw it all' and leave." Andrea was frustrated too, not because she disliked Isabelle, but because she was worried like everybody else. To her, this felt more than just being stressed.
Dale placed his hand on Rick's shoulder, "Nobody is saying she's gonna betray us or anything, we're just worried about her. She just seems off. I mean, I wish I could talk to her but I don't think she's open to anyone." He sighed, "I just hope she comes around soon."
The three turned when leaves rustled across the highway and they drew their weapons. "It's me…" A small voice came out of the bushes, "Sorry about that." It was Isabelle, who had a small backpack on one shoulder and was looking tired. She made her way past the RV to her car and threw her bag inside without saying much.
"I'll be back," Rick said to Andrea and Dale before climbing down the ladder to stop Isabelle before she disappeared again.
He called after her, "Isabelle!" Rick was hoping that he could sit her down and get something out of her. While he didn't want to push her too much and he did believe that she will come around when she wants to, but Dale and Andrea had a point. Her behavior was certainly becoming of concern to him too.
"Yes?" She called over her shoulder while she was shuffling through her bags, she didn't turn to face him. She pulled some food out of her bag and placed it in the footrest in her car, continuing to empty her bag's contents.
"Are you okay? Talk to me. Why are you so distant lately?" Rick wanted to sit somewhere else to have a small and more intimate talk with her, but her stance made it feel that she didn't want to be around him.
She sighed and stood up, dropping her bag in the seat and closing the door behind her. Isabelle turned to face him with her arms crossed and leaned against the door, "Rick, if you think there's something wrong between us, that's not it." She shook her head and looked away, "I'm not mad at you, don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I know I didn't. I don't think that there's anything wrong between us, but I know something is wrong. You haven't been yourself since we left the CDC. Hell, you've said maybe a handful of words to the group, let alone to me." He placed his hands on his hips, "I wanted to give you time because I figured what happened in the CDC took its toll on well, everyone. But now I'm starting to get real worried, is there something I should know?" He was hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries, the last thing he wanted was for her to think that he was coming on too strong or just pushing it in general. He didn't want her to push him any further away than she already had been.
She stared off blankly, it appeared that she was too lost in her thoughts. Rick wasn't sure of whether to repeat himself, maybe she did not hear what he'd said? She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, "I know, I'm sorry Rick. I didn't mean to make you worried or anything…it's just…" she shrugged, unsure of how to continue, "what happened back there…" she trailed off, hoping he would drop the subject. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell him ever, it was just the timing and more so how to tell him – and eventually, the rest of the group.
Rick continued for her, "Isabelle, I'm not rushing you. I don't want to make you feel like you're forced to talk to me or anything…"
"Yeah, no I know, I know." How was she supposed to say this? It wasn't like she could just blurt out to Rick that she was in fact bitten before and that she had a better outcome than everyone else. How was one supposed to say this? "Can we talk somewhere else, Rick? I'm nervous…" She trailed off again, feeling paranoid that the others might overhear her.
He stepped in front of her and gently placed her hand on her cheek, "What are you nervous about? Why are you-"
"I'm not." She retorted and pulled his hand off her face, "I just- I just would rather speak in private. I don't need everyone eavesdropping on our conversation.."
Rick couldn't help the smile that crept on his face, "No one's eavesdropping, Isabelle. You're safe talking to me. But we can move somewhere else to talk if that would make you feel better."
She nodded quietly in response and they made their way a couple cars ahead where they were alone. Isabelle was almost shaking from being nervous, never had she been so anxious about sharing something with someone. Well, it wasn't just some secret, it was something that could definitely change how the group felt about her, more so than the whole CDC fiasco has.
Rick sat on the trunk of an abandoned truck and motioned her to do the same. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to make her feel more comfortable, but nothing seemed to work for her. "Rick, I don't know…" She hesitated, scared he would be pissed with her if he thought that she was hiding it the whole time, when it was clear in fact the opposite case. Isabelle continued to twiddle with her thumbs, a nervous habit she had, trying to figure out what to say. She scooted away a bit, worried about what she was going to say next.
Finally, the words began to leave her mouth, "Back at the CDC…when I was quarantined for a bit, Jenner noticed the scar on my forearm." Rick examined it, he remembered seeing it before but never gave it a second thought nor did he ever ask her about it. It looked like any other kind of scar someone would get, maybe she hurt herself when she was young or something like that. "And that's when it came back. It all started to make sense, the weirdly vivid nightmares, the night terrors, the headaches, the fucking memory loss too. I can't believe I was so stupid to not make sense of it. This whole time, the message was obvious: I wasn't dreaming of being bitten because it was my fear," she paused to recollect her thoughts, "…no, I was reliving it because it actually fucking happened." She kept her head down, not wanting to make eye contact with Rick. She didn't want him to think that she knew this the whole time.
Rick sat forward, one hand on his temple, trying to make sense of what he heard. Had she gone crazy? "You…were bit? But…how? How are you eve-"
"I'm immune, at least that's what it seems like…" She interrupted. "I didn't believe it either. Shit, I didn't even think that was possible." Rick kept quiet, fuck, she thought, he probably thinks I'm full of it.
"Did you know?" He had to ask. Did she hide it from the group because she knew otherwise they wouldn't have kept her along? He wanted to think not, he wanted to think that he knew her better than that.
"No, I didn't, Rick. Of course not. Why do you think I had no idea where that bite even came from? Why do you think I kept having all of those nightmares? I didn't think it was my fucking brain trying to tell me something." She waited for a response, "I really hope you don't think I was hiding this from you. I just learned this too…I've been too scared to tell you."
He was taken aback, "Why? Why would you be scared?"
"I thought you would think that I hid it from you, that I was just some ticking time bomb. I didn't want you to think that. I don't want the group to think that. Can you imagine how that sounds? I was bitten but I forgot and it turns out it can't even kill me!" She sighed, trying to keep it together. What was she to do if and when the group would find out? Would it be better that she left and did her own thing by herself?
Rick pulled her close and tight to his chest, "Is this why you haven't been talking to anyone?"
"I had a feeling that they would piece the puzzle together, Rick." She began to feel ashamed, "I'd been planning my – well, departure. I didn't want to have the group be consistently worried about me or if or when I would turn, I guess…I mean who knows what could happen at this point, we don't have Jenner around anymore."
"You were planning on leaving?"
She bit her lip, "Yes. I was…I'm sorry." She continued, "I didn't want to be a liability to the group. Like, I didn't want them to think I was withholding information for just a free ride or anything…"
"You weren't though, you didn't even know until we all got to the CDC!"
Isabelle shook her head, "That still doesn't make it any better. Rick, if it were anyone else, you wouldn't trust them. You and I both know that. You'd think that they were a liar and you would want to know what else they could be hiding. Don't even try to tell me otherwise! And the rest of the group might not share the same feelings as you if they find out!" She added, the paranoia creeping through her tone. Rick knew she had every right to be worried because she did have a point, neither of them knew how the group could react to the news. He certainly didn't want to hide it from them, but he didn't even know where to begin.
"If we find out what?" A voice came from behind one of the cars, the two turned to face Andrea, who had a suspicious look on her face. "What the hell are you hiding, Isabelle?"
Isabelle was furious, she looked at Rick, "Did you know she was listening? "
Rick was confused, but really wasn't surprised. This was the first time Isabelle appeared open to talking, so it made sense for the others to notice. "No I didn't," He assured, then turning to Andrea to address her, "Andrea, she's not hiding anything. This is new for all of us."
"Are you pregnant?" Andrea blurted aloud, wondering if that was the cause of the couple's secrecy. She couldn't really imagine any other scenario at that moment.
Isabelle let out a small laugh, finally something that could actually be worse than the situation they were already in. She shook her head, "No, I'm not pregnant. We weren't talking about that, it's something else…" She crossed her arms, should I just say it? How is that supposed to even go down? Finally she let up, "Andrea, look…we were just talking about what happened back at the CDC."
"What was up with that anyways? Why were you singled out?"
"Let me get to that, Andrea." She rubbed the back of her neck before showing Andrea her forearm, "It's a bite." She said, deadpanned.
Andrea looked surprised, "What kind of bite?"
"Walker bite, apparently."
"You were bitten, and you didn't tell anyone? You just hid it from the group, from Rick even? What the hell?" She was pissed. How could someone hide something so big? When Jim was bit, he told the group. He owned up to it, instead of Isabelle who hid it like a coward.
Rick stepped in before Isabelle could reply, "She didn't hide it from anyone, Andrea. She didn't know it was a bite until Jenner pointed it out."
Andrea didn't buy that, "How do you forget being bitten? Isn't it obvious? Why haven't you even…turned yet?" Andrea didn't know whether to be upset, confused, or what. There were too many questions that weren't being answered quickly enough.
Isabelle felt uncomfortable at this point now, she knew that nobody would believe her. She was right all along. And now that Andrea knows, everyone will know. "I don't know, Andrea! I just don't…Jenner might have mentioned something about immunity but we can't ask him now, can we? I just know that I suffered some sort of amnesia from I guess the bite and being knocked over the head when my car was stolen. By the time I came to, it healed and looked like any other bite. I didn't think anything of it until we got to the CDC and that's when the shit hit the fucking fan, alright?" She didn't mean to become so upset but when it started it didn't stop, "So I don't know. That's why I haven't talked to anyone. I know you guys have been wondering about where I'm running off to or what's going on inside my head. Well that's what's been happening! I was fucking bit! Happy?" Her jaw clenched, she had to stop talking now otherwise she was going to say something she was going to regret. Isabelle got her bad temper from her father, and was never really able to control it.
Andrea turned to Rick, "And you knew about this? You brought someone who was bitten to the group? She could have turned and killed someone, Rick!"
He became upset too but tried to keep his cool, "You really think I would do that? You think I knew about this? No one did, Andrea."
"Don't you think I would have turned by now, Andrea? Look at my arm!" She shoved her forearm in Andrea's face, "Does that look like a fresh bite? No! It looks healed! I don't know why my blood didn't have the same results as the rest of you, and we'll never know. But I sure as fuck wouldn't put you or anyone else in the group in danger."
Andrea stared silently before speaking again, "When were you going to tell everyone else?"
"Andrea-" Rick began, but was soon cut off by Isabelle.
"Tell them yourself. They won't believe anything I have to say anyways." Before Andrea or Rick could respond, she made her way off back to her car, hoping that she could get a couple hours of sleep alone. It'd been a long day for her. Fortunately, earlier she'd found some food in some of the abandoned cars that no one else got to. She'd been hiding them in the backseat of her car. While she didn't have a plan yet, she still had the means to leave if she needed to.
And boy, was that an entertaining thought for her.
It's been SOO long, sorry guys, life has been crazy and I've been so busy with work, school, etc. Hard to believe I started this story 3 years ago! I can't promise consistent updates, but I'll try my best. I finally got another outline started that I'll be hoping to follow. Was thinking of getting the farm storyline out of the way in maybe 2-3 chapters then get to the prison where things get really interesting. I am so behind, I know! Hopefully you guys like this and let me know what you think in a review! :)
Happy Holidays everyone!
