RECAP:
Chapter 6 – Lizzy was afraid of Lord Ashbourne thinking that he would physically harm her. The Gathering at Lucas Lodge. Darcy realising that he love Elizabeth. Richard found out that Lizzy was Darcy's mysterious lady in London, Lizzy sneaked out to visit a sick Jane at Netherfield, Darcy gave apologised to Lizzy and gave her a letter, and Mrs Winters informed Lizzy about a Mr Price who was seeking revenge on the Gardiners.
© 2019 Zest Layne
Three days had passed since Elizabeth had read Lord Ashbourne's letter and up until now, she knew not what to make of it. It brought her so many emotions that she hardly knew what to really feel. Perhaps, it was because this was the first time that someone had actually asked her for forgiveness.
Of course, she had her fair share of misunderstandings with Alexa, Charlotte, John, Mary, Kitty, and a few other people but they were always petty things like when they had forced her to rest when and she didn't want to because there were many things left to do regarding the estate management. This, her situation with Lord Ashbourne, was not like any of her previous squabbles with her friends.
When he handed her his letter, she suspected that its content contained his apology. She was not wrong. However, certain passages in the Marquess' letter surprised her. Like the part when he told her about his father.
'You see, my father, though good, is a very strict man. He has always warned me to select very specific people to be my friend, indeed my friendship with Bingley was forbidden at first.'
The next sentences that followed were a brief description of his childhood focused on his insecurities and jealousy towards the son of his father's steward whom his father favoured. Apparently, the Marquess tried to be the perfect son his father wanted but he felt it was never enough. Nevertheless, he continued trying up until now.
'It was only when I had proven my father wrong about his steward's son that he permitted me to continue my acquaintance with Bingley. When I met you, I did not hesitate to further my acquaintance with you because it was evident in your attire that you come from the first circles. That was why when you told me of your identity, I was so shocked that I had accused you of lying. The very first thing in my mind when I found out the truth about you was that I did it again, I have disappointed my father. You see, I have disappointed him only a month before meeting you and I always take his criticisms of me severely.'
Elizabeth could sympathise with him in that. While 'strict' was not the word she would use to describe her parents, the way they treated her affected her deeply. It made her doubt herself for most of the time and it sometimes clouded her judgement. That said, Lizzy somehow understood where the Marquess was coming from.
Indeed, she was deeply affected that he had shared some of his past and his insecurities with her. She, herself, had never told anyone else how she was feeling. The people around her knew of her situation because of what they saw but never in her perspective. Did this mean that Lord Ashbourne trusted her greatly? Reading a part of his childhood reminded her of the unnamed friend he had once been to her back in London. Granted, they had never talked of anything too personal regarding their families but they had shared their honest opinions about books and other topics they had spoken of.
If she did not felt inclined to forgive him after reading what he had written regarding his father, then the next paragraphs that followed did.
'I know that my reasons are not enough to excuse my horrible behaviour towards you but I write of this so that you can see where I am coming from – not to convince you to forgive me by excusing my actions but to forget the words I have said that hurt you. I beg of you Miss Elizabeth, please do not listen to the words of a fool. The man who had accused you of lying and deceit, who had called you tolerable and not handsome enough, that man was a fool.'
Lizzy would have laughed at the Marquess for calling himself a fool if she wasn't so affected by his words.
'You are not a liar or a deceiver, indeed you are one of the most genuine people of my acquaintance; you are not afraid to speak your mind and give your opinions, you do not hide your laughter. You are certainly more than tolerable and you are definitely more than handsome. I remember my cousin, the Colonel, asking me what the cause of my smile was (for you know that as I have mentioned above, I always kept a serious face because my father would not like it if I showed my true feelings to the world) one day after I had spent a rainy afternoon in Hyde Park. Needless to say, he was bewildered that an unnamed lady with fine deep green eyes was the cause of a light expression on my face.'
At this, Lizzy frowned. She knew what it was like to hide one's feelings from others but at least, she was not forced to do so. If she wanted, she knew her sisters and closest friends would let her confide in them. In Lord Ashbourne's case, however, his father asked him to wear a mask in front of others. And at such a young age! Lizzy did not know what was worse, to give a false smile (like she did sometimes to ease the worries of the people concerned for her) or to have a stoic face despite wanting to smile (like the Marquess).
Nonetheless, she felt relieved and something else that brought her comfort when he wrote he didn't realise he was smiling after their first encounter.
'I did not write the previous statements to flatter my way to gain your forgiveness. Indeed, I would understand it if you chose not to forgive me even though I find it hard to live with that, knowing that you think so ill of me. But I find it harder to live if you are thinking wrongly and lowly of yourself because of my words. I still remember your face after I had shouted at you in London and after I had insulted you at the assembly and it pains me to think that I have caused that expression on your face. You do not deserve to be hurt, especially by the fool I once was. The person writing this letter, however, was less foolish and less prideful – so much so that he can now see the error of his ways.'
No matter how many times Lizzy had read his letter, this part never failed to bring her to tears because she knew, that even if Lord Ashbourne had not said those awful things to her, she would still think lowly of herself. After years of hearing Mr and Mrs Bennet's hurtful words about her, it was kind of hard not to doubt herself and her worth. Despite that, knowing that Lord Ashbourne did not think of Lizzy the way her parents did, brought her comfort.
Perhaps that was why she was so hurt and angry at him, that even when he was apologising she was countering his words. Because it never occurred to her that he would behave badly against her. So now, that she was re-reading his apology for the umpteenth time, she was moved.
At first, of course, she thought that he only wanted her forgiveness so that he could redeem himself in the eyes of society. After all, many people in Meryton were already not fond of him. She had also thought that maybe his cousin, Miss de Bourgh, asked him to do it. Miss de Bourgh did seem fond of her, Mary, and Kitty. But after re-reading his letter for the third time, Lizzy realised that he did it because it was what he wanted to do.
If he wanted to look good in society or the eye of his cousin, then he wouldn't have tried to talk to her alone so many times. He wouldn't give her a letter in which he opened up to her and called himself a 'fool.'
'I understand if you cannot forgive me for my offences – indeed, you agreeing to read this letter is kindness itself. No matter what you choose, however, whether to forgive me or not, I would respect your decision. But please do not blame me if I do try to make it up to you and try to be in your good graces once again. But if you truly do not wish my presence in your life, then one word from you and I will keep my distance forever. Thank you, Madam, for reading this letter. I will only add, God bless you. – Fitzwilliam Darcy.'
Did she really want him to leave her forever after he tried so hard to apologise for his mistakes? No, Lizzy did not want that. She already lost some of the people that cared for her deeply like Grandma Claire and Lady Amelia, she would not let a misunderstanding or two make her lose another one.
The next time she'd see Lord Ashbourne, she's going to tell him that he was forgiven.
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"Where is my Anne going?" Anne de Bourgh tried rolling her eyes at Richard but even she couldn't help the smile that graced her face. They had finally come to a decision that Richard would sell his commission and they would get married next year. But since her mother had not yet returned from Bath, their engagement was currently kept a secret.
"I am going to visit Miss Elizabeth or else I shall go mad at thinking about my mother's whereabouts. Do you not think it strange that she seems lenient to me since we got here? She never allowed me to attend balls without her and she had never left me alone in a place that was not Rosings." Anne frowned and looked up at Richard for a reasonable answer but what she got was a mischievous smile instead.
Anne harrumphed. "Just because you can steal kisses without much discretion and that you can be affectionate with me more than the usual, you would be delighted by my mother's strange behaviour."
Sensing that she was actually troubled by the situation, Richard took his hands in his. "Perhaps, she realised that you are no longer a little girl and she wanted to give you more independence."
She sighed, "Perhaps." She was still worried though. Something was going on, Anne could feel it.
"Now, then, shall we call on Miss Elizabeth now? I see the carriage is ready."
At this statement, Anne raised her brow. "We, Richard?"
"Yes, I will accompany you and since your lady's maid is coming, there shall be no concern regarding propriety. Besides, do you think that I did not notice you were escaping from me these past few days in Miss Bennet's room?"
"Do not pout, Richard. It is unbecoming of you." Richard opened his mouth to say his protests against her comment but her next words made him serious. "You know very well that I am only spending time with her to assist Miss Bingley out of politeness and because of what Ashbourne told us regarding Miss Jane Bennet."
"And what have you find out so far?" Richard asked. He was really bothered when Ashbourne informed them of what he heard from Miss Elizabeth and her abigail's conversation. While nothing specific was said about the eldest Miss Bennet, it did not stop the cousins from being suspicious.
After all, the three of them noticed the odd looks that the Lucases had when Mr and Mrs Bennet was mentioned. The looks of sympathy on their faces when they talked of Miss Elizabeth were not also lost on the cousins.
"I will tell you and Ashbourne once Miss Bennet returned to Longbourn. I believe on Sunday she will be fully recovered."
"Very well, let us go then." With that, Richard assisted her into the carriage.
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"Miss de Bourgh, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what a pleasant surprise." Elizabeth smiled at the visitors after Graham announced their presence. After being cooped up in the house for days she was glad to have some visitors. Mary and Kitty visited her yesterday and the day before but her sisters told her that they would not be able to come today. Apparently, Mrs Bennet wanted their company to visit Jane this day.
"We heard from Miss Lucas that you are staying here. I hope we did not disturb you."
"No, you did not disturb me. If anything, you saved me from finishing a terrible drawing." Lizzy smiled gesturing to the art materials scattered on the corner of the room before pulling the bell for tea. "Please, do sit."
"Surely it could not be that bad, Miss Bennet." Miss de Bourgh said.
"Oh, but it is." Lizzy laughed. She considered showing them the drawing but then thought better of it. If she presented her work to them, they would think that she was demurring herself for calling it 'terrible'. After all, her drawings always seemed good to many people but to her, as the artist, it was not good enough. "My Aunt Gardiner paints well, though."
"Mrs Gardiner is your Aunt?" The surprise Colonel asked. "I am one of Mr Gardiner's investors. I have met his wife a few times."
"And have you seen some of her paintings?" Lizzy asked.
"Yes, I believe my father has bought some of them for my mother."
"My Aunt does love to paint flowers, but I believe she's best at portraits. You see, a year would not pass without her painting me at least once."
Before any more could be said Agnes, one of the maids at Dower House, brought the tea. After thanking her, Lizzy poured her guest and herself a drink.
"You spend time in London, yearly, then?" Miss de Bourgh asked.
"Indeed. Though my Aunt and Uncle visit me here too, I spend more time in London than they do here in Hertfordshire."
The conversation was then directed to other topics regarding the delights of the country and town. The Colonel also told them of his travels and adventure during the army. When it was time for the visitors to go, Elizabeth invited them for tea the next day. "I am afraid I couldn't visit you on Netherfield but if you'd like you could come here on the morrow."
"That would be wonderful, Miss Bennet. But, may I ask why you could not pay us a call?" Miss de Bourgh asked.
Elizabeth explained what she knew about Mr Price briefly to Miss de Bourgh and the Colonel. In return, they expressed their understanding as well as their concerns.
"Was that why you were staying here in the Dower House?"
The question caught Lizzy off guard. She might have no problem telling them about the situation with Mr Price but she was still not willing to share what was going on inside the Bennet family. Forcing a smile on her face, she answered, "Not exactly, Colonel. You see, I had a very close relationship with my grandmother and when she died, I couldn't bear to live the place where we shared most of our memories."
"I am sorry."
Lizzy waved it off. "No need, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Indeed, talking of my grandmother makes me happy."
"We shall meet again on the morrow for tea, then?" Anne said before boarding the carriage.
"Yes, you could also extend the invitation to the rest of your party, if they'd like." Lizzy couldn't help but add. If luck was on her side, maybe she could talk to Lord Ashbourne if he accepted.
After expressing their agreement and a repeat of farewells, the carriage made its way back to Netherfield Park.
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"I thought I told you to give Miss Elizabeth the space she needed before you visit her?" Darcy frowned at his cousins as soon as they found some time alone in the library. He did not want his cousins to influence Elizabeth's decision on forgiving him or not. If she was going to give him a second chance, he wanted it to be her choice alone.
"I believe three days is enough space, cousin," Anne assured. "Besides, I believe she was really delighted with our surprise visit considering she could not leave her house."
Darcy couldn't help but think of a million scenarios based on Anne's words. "Could not leave? What happened? Is she injured? Hurt? Sick?"
Richard put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "None of those, Darce, though I don't know if the real situation is any better."
Before he could inquire about the real situation, Anne beat him to it and explained everything. "I believe Miss Elizabeth is in no real danger, Ashbourne. Surely if this Mr Price wanted to get back to the Gardiners then they would be his real target and not Miss Elizabeth."
"I agree with Anne, Darce."
Darcy nodded, seeing the logic in his cousin's reasoning. However, he could not help but worry. "Regardless, I shall write to my men to find out more about this Mr Price." Before either of his cousins could protest, he held his hand out. "I know I have no right to meddle with their problems but I would not rest until I know that there really is no threat for her out there, regardless if she forgives me or not. Besides, what will happen to Uncle's and Richard's investments if the Gardiners are being hunted down by a man?" The last sentence was his attempt to lighten up the situation but it did very little to placate their worries.
"Very well, cousin. Since Miss Elizabeth is my friend and I am concern for her as well, I would let you do what you think is best."
"Thank you, Anne."
"But I do not think that Miss Elizabeth is an unforgiving woman. Despite whatever transpired between the two of you, I believe that she is willing to give your friendship another chance."
"Do not mess with me, Cousin." His lips thinned.
"Oh, but Darce, you must believe Anne for her words is not without evidence. Indeed, Miss Elizabeth invited us for tea tomorrow and she said to extend the invitation to the rest of Netherfield party if you all would like to come."
Seeing him frozen at Richard's words, Anne laughed. "Worry not, cousin. I believe Mr Bingley would not dare leave his angel even if the invitation came from his angel's sister. Mr Hurst would also want to stay here and drink in peace. As for the ladies, a good hostess would never leave a sick guess for an invitation for tea, right?"
"So the three of us will be the only ones joining her at tea, tomorrow?" He asked.
"Yes, ol' chap. It's about time for you to stop being grumpy. I also can't wait for Anne to meet the smiling Darcy cousin I got to meet for a few weeks back in London."
Darcy couldn't help but smile a little at Richard's statement. If what his cousins told him was true, then there was hope for him. He was looking forward to it.
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"If I knew that you'd be fidgeting that much, Darce, I wouldn't have stopped you from riding your horse!" Richard said, looking at him with more amusement than irritation.
Across from them, Anne shook her head. "Do be silent, Richard. We all know that you wanted Ashbourne to ride with us in the carriage so you could enjoy watching him in a restless state."
Richard smiled teasingly at Anne. "Aww, my Anne does know me well."
Instead of listening to his cousins' exchange, Darcy focused his attention on the view outside. He knew very well why Richard took delights on seeing him so rattled. After all, his father, the Duke of Derbyshire, raised him to be stoic in any situation. At the young age of ten, he perfected the art of masking his feelings, so much so that even his own family could not discern his thoughts.
The only one he allowed to know more about him was his mother. Perhaps it was because he knew that his mother would never judge him and she would always show him her support. Maybe it was because he had been separated from his mother at an early age and he wanted to get closer to her that was why he always talked to her about his life – be it in form of letters or actually speaking.
He was seven when his mother left Pemberly to settle in one of their other estates. At the time she was gone, his father began teaching him his duties as a landlord. When he was not with his tutors, he was with his father. He was also at this age when his father taught him to wear a mask on his face. When his mother came back, it was on the day of his eighth birthday.
And because his mother stayed with them at Pemberly again since then, he had had someone whom he could show his true feelings to. Unfortunately for Fitzwilliam, at the age of twelve, four months after his mother gave birth to Georgiana, his mother left again. It was a rough time for him because he did not know the reason why his mother left them and took his little sister with her.
Unfortunately for him, his sadness had no place at the time. His father had become more severe in reminding him of his duties and responsibilities. That same year, he was sent to school with George Wickham. When he came back to Pemberly to spend the holidays, he was relieved that his little sister was home. His mother, however, was still away.
Perhaps, the natural reaction that was expected from him was to be mad at his mother for going away. However, Fitzwilliam could not find it in himself to be angry at her. How could he, when his mother was there, always supporting him and guiding him when he felt lost? Indeed, Fitzwilliam felt that even though his mother was physically absent, she had helped him get past the hard times in his life – even if her only way to show it was through her letters. She was so unlike his father, who, though present in his life, was always cold if not looking down at him in disappointment.
Up until now, Fitzwilliam knew not what his mother's reason was for staying away. The only thing he was sure of was that his father had allowed her mother to leave and that his parents' relationship was not the cause of his mother's separation from them. Even now, Fitzwilliam knew and could tell that his mother and father still loved each other very much. At times, he still wondered what could be his mother's reason for leaving them.
His father always seemed to soften when his mother was by his side and he couldn't help but think of things like: Would his father act warmer towards him in his teens if his mother had not left them? Would he have bonded with him more, had his mother became more active in their lives?
Shaking his head of negative thoughts, Darcy tried to think of other things. Positive ones – like how his mother's advice appeared to be more effective than he thought. For, surely, if Elizabeth was alright with being in his presence then there was a huge possibility that she had forgiven him, considering she was always avoiding him in their past meetings.
Darcy still remembered writing to his mother, asking her how he could apologise to a lady after offending her so gravely, twice. Of course, he had written it as a hypothetical situation only. He didn't know if his mother believed him or not, but he suspected that perhaps she might have an inkling of what was truly going on. Nonetheless, his mother had replied and he was surprised that she had sent it in express.
'The first thing you have to do, son, in this hypothetical situation, is to let the hypothetical lady know that you realised you hurt them. Next is to admit your behaviour and acknowledge what you did. Of course, you should express remorse for your action, show her that you regret doing what you did. Lastly, make amends. Promise her that it will not happen again and reassure her that you are going to change your behaviour. Now, William, I have told you what I know but to gain the hypothetical lady's forgiveness. It is you who have to work. Just show her that you are sincere, son, and show her what you really feel. If you did that, then I am sure that she will find it in her to forgive you.'
With those wise words from his mother, he began composing a letter on what he would like to tell Elizabeth. He hid nothing in that letter, even going as far as revealing his own insecurities and his childhood. But of course, he only made that to act as his guide so he could say the right thing. He knew that he was better at written words than spoken ones, as Richard so often reminded him.
And as it was, by the time he found the chance to ask for forgiveness, he didn't get to express what he wanted in words. So in a moment of panic and desperation, when Elizabeth was about to leave, Darcy had snatched the sealed letter hidden in the pocket of his coat and handed it to her.
"Done with your wool-gathering, cousin?" Richard's voice caused Darcy to start, making the former laugh. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Come, gentlemen. Miss Elizabeth is expecting us."
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"I am very glad you came." Elizabeth greeted her visitors with a smile. "And just in time too. Please, do sit." She was not surprised that only the three of them were present. She had already guessed that Mr Bingley would not want to leave Jane and it must be the same for his sisters. The situation was in her favour. This way, she could talk to Lord Ashbourne and make amends as she had planned.
Miss de Bourgh, who sat on the settee across her, smiled teasingly. "Are we just in time to save you from finishing another 'terrible drawing'?"
Elizabeth laughed. "No, Miss de Bourgh, I did not draw anything today. However, you are just in time to save Cook from my meddling in the kitchen. She loves me but I am afraid that after stealing my third biscuit, I believe she was now unsure if her affection for me is wise or not."
"Stealing!" Colonel Fitzwilliam exclaimed in feigned horror from beside Miss de Bourgh. "And here we thought that you could never do something terrible like that." Elizabeth smiled in amusement at the Colonel's antics, but she could not help but frown at the Colonel's next statement. "However, I believe that everyone would still love you after doing such a horrible thing. Therefore, I conclude that your cook forgives you."
It was just too similar to the words Mama always drilled in her head. "Love?!" Lizzy could hear Mrs Bennet's shrill voice echoing in her mind. "How could I love you after doing such a horrible thing – killing my son! I would never forgive you!"
The cousins noticed Miss Elizabeth's changed in expression and they wondered at which particular words in Richard's sentences caused it. Noticing her distress, Ashbourne spoke up. "Anne mentioned something about 'terrible drawings' earlier, Miss Elizabeth. Do not tell me that you still call your drawings 'terrible'? They are not."
To the cousins' relief, Miss Elizabeth responded well to Ashbourne's question. "Then, I shall not tell you, your Lordship."
"What's this," Richard started, feeling guilty for whatever he had said wrong earlier and wanting to lift the mood by continuing the current topic of conversation. "You have shown my cousin your drawing yet you refuse to let Anne and I see it?! Why, Miss Elizabeth, I did not know that you play favourites."
"I do not play favourites, Colonel." Miss Elizabeth said solemnly. Then, her lips twitched upwards. "If I do, then the first one among the three of you to see my works would be Miss de Bourgh. Besides, Lord Ashbourne only got to see it because I met him first."
Richard tapped his chin as if thinking seriously. "Very well, Miss Elizabeth, since I chose to court Anne instead of the Marquess here," he said pointing at Darcy, "I trust your judgement."
The two ladies laughed while Darcy frowned at Richard.
"And because you just implied that I am your favourite, Miss Elizabeth, would you now call me by my Christian name?"
Miss Elizabeth smiled. "Only, if you call by mine too. But if you prefer Lizzy, which is shorter, then you can use that instead."
"Of course, Lizzy." Anne smiled before batting her lashes at Miss Elizabeth. "Now, I believe it is time for you to show us your drawings and since you just said moments ago that I am your favourite among the three of us, surely you will not deny my request."
Shaking her head fondly, Miss Elizabeth sighed. "Nicely done, Anne."
As Elizabeth walked to the corner of the room to retrieve her latest drawings, Agnes placed the tea and biscuits on the table. Lizzy thanked the maid when she walked past her before returning to her previous seat. She handed Anne her sketches before pouring tea. Since Lord Ashbourne was the one sitting closest to her, she handed him the drink first.
She was pouring some for Anne and the Colonel when Lord Ashbourne turned to her with a tender expression on his face. His voice was soft as he whispered, "You remembered."
"Lemon and two teaspoons of sugar are not hard to remember, my Lord." She replied, giving him a small smile before handing Anne and the Colonel their respective teas.
Lord Ashbourne opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted with the Colonel's comment. "I do not see anything bad about your drawings, Miss Elizabeth. Indeed, I am amazed at your ability to capture the likeness of objects. However, I do understand that artists are prone to criticising their works because they see little details that normal people do not."
Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "I am glad that you understand, Colonel. It is my primary reason why I did not show you my drawings. I would not want you and Anne to think that I am fishing for compliments because I describe my most recent works as terrible."
"I only understand it because Ashbourne acts the same with his drawings."
Lizzy smiled, "Indeed, he does." Noting that neither Anne nor the Colonel was surprised when she mentioned that she met the Marquess first, Lizzy felt safe to elaborate her reply. "We had a drawing competition once before and if you were watching, you'd think that we were competing on who was the worse artist for we kept on criticising our own works and complimenting the other's."
"Compliment?!" The Colonel exclaimed, looking at Lord Ashbourne in exaggerated surprise. "I never knew that Ashbourne could do that."
"Oh, hush, Richard. You know very well that Ashbourne can give compliments. I believe his favourite to give was 'decent enough'."
Elizabeth and the Colonel laughed at Anne's words. Lord Ashbourne, on the other hand, remained expressionless. Though, the other three could see very well that the tips of his ears were red with embarrassment. Because of this, the Colonel took charge of the conversation and talked of stories about the Marquess, teasing Lord Ashbourne some more.
The snacks Cook have prepared for them were gone by the time they finished teasing the Marquess. After ringing for Agnes to pick up the tray, Elizabeth turned to Anne. "I believe it is now my turn to request something from you, Anne."
"It is only because you are my friend that I will allow you to have your revenge on me, Lizzy. What shall it be, then?"
"Will you play for us?" Elizabeth moved her eyes to the pianoforte in the corner. It was a gift from her Grandma Claire.
Knowing that her cousin and Lizzy needed to talk privately, Anne agreed. "Very well but only if I can have someone turn the page for me. I am not as talented in music as you are, Lizzy, so be warned."
"I'll assist you with the pages." Anne smiled at Richard. They were of the same mind.
When the first notes from the pianoforte filled the room, Darcy immediately turned to Elizabeth. "Miss Elizabeth, I cannot express how happy I am, knowing that you do not avoid my presence anymore. I promise to make it up to you. I am truly sorry –"
"Speak no more, Lord Ashbourne." She said before he could speak any further. "I accept your apology and you need not make another."
Smiling, he took her gloved hand and pressed a light kiss on her knuckle. "I thank you."
Blushing at his actions, Elizabeth slowly moved her hand away from his and cleared her throat. "Now, I believe it is my turn to apologise, my Lord. I am sorry for running away from you and avoiding you these last few times we saw each other."
"You have nothing to apologise for, Miss Elizabeth." He was quick to reassure her. "I understand why you avoided me. However, may I be so bold to ask why you have run away from me when we went for a stroll near Longbourn?"
Elizabeth looked down and bit her lip as she fidgeted with her gloves. After taking a deep breath, she lifted her head, his blue eyes meeting her green ones. "I was afraid."
He furrowed his brows at her short answer. "Afraid?"
"Yes, you look positively angry at the time and I thought you were going to…" She trailed off, shifting her gaze from him.
"Going to what, Miss Elizabeth?" He asked softly, not wanting to frighten her.
"Hit me." She whispered so low that he thought was not going to hear her. Upon registering her words, however, he froze.
He would've remained frozen on his seat if he did not notice her paling countenance. Reaching out for her hand to calm her, he told her in a gentle voice that he would never do that. "I would not hit a woman, Miss Elizabeth, and I certainly would not dare raise a hand on you."
Squeezing his hand, Elizabeth replied. "I know that now, but your stance that day – your posture rigid, hands fisted on your sides and you were gritting your teeth… it was just so similar to –" she paused. "Forgive me, my Lord. I forget myself." She tried to smile at him but Darcy was not buying it. "What I'm trying to say is, you looked so angry that I lost my courage and ran away."
Darcy wanted so much to know what her actual words were going to be but he also understood that he had just gotten his second chance. She was not willing to open up to him, yet. He could understand that and so, he let it slide for now. "I was not angry at you, Miss Elizabeth. I was angry at myself at that time. When you looked up at me, moments after the first time I called your name, your reaction to my mistakes hit me hard. I realised then that I could not bear to see you look sad and I hated myself for it. Indeed, I wanted to kick myself at that moment."
This time, her smile was small but real. "That must be a real challenge to do – kicking one's self. However, I found it unreasonable. If you really wanted to kick yourself, my Lord, I believe the Colonel would be honoured to do the task."
He chuckled in response. "I know he would."
"You are lucky then, Lord Ashbourne, to have a cousin who is willing to do your task for you." He was glad to see her smile bigger, this time.
"While I consider myself lucky in having Richard as my cousin," Darcy said glancing in his cousin's direction, "I would not use the example you gave, Miss Elizabeth. What about you? Who would be honoured to do the task of kicking yourself when needed?" He was eager to find out her answer. It could confirm his suspicions if she was estranged from her family or not.
Darcy watched as Elizabeth pursed her mouth in deep thought. "I think it would be Charlotte – Miss Lucas, I mean. She is Sir William Lucas's eldest daughter and my dearest friend. If not her, it would be Alexa, my Abigail. You see, we have known each other at such a young age so we are very close and I know that she would not hesitate to put some sense into me if needed. I believe John Lucas would not hesitate to do it either. After all, he has yet to get his revenge on me after I bested him in climbing a tree when I was eight."
Darcy let out a small smile at her answer when all he wanted to do was frown. Not only because it bothered him that she seemed close to another man since she was a child but also by the fact that she did not mention family members. To get his answer, he asked, "Wouldn't your sisters do it?"
"Mary and Kitty would, I am sure, but not without asking my permission twice. They tend to look up to me because I am older."
Before he could give his reply, a woman which appeared to be in her late forties entered the room. She has light brown hair that was styled in a bun and a kind face with dark brown eyes.
To his and his cousins' (he noticed because the music stopped) surprise, Elizabeth immediately stood up and greeted the newcomer. "Mrs Winters!"
This was, so far, the longest chapter I have ever written for this book and phew! Anyways, what do you guys think? Too sweet? Too much drama? Too fast? What about Darcy's parents? Hmmm…
Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favourites – they never fail to make my day :)
Stay safe guys and take care of yourselves. Hopefully, a cure can be found to end the virus soon.
