First and foremost, I'm very sorry it took me so long to update. I swear, I didn't mean to go MIA on you guys. First, we just had a dry run at online schooling and I've been busy doing schoolwork. But that's only for a week, so I have free time again. The thing was, after that, I started feeling down. I think it's because interacting with my classmates again and then NOT, shocked me. In addition to that, my mom and aunt are pushing me to lose weight and I am trying. I exercise and I'm skipping dinner already.
I mean, I'm not fat but I'm not skinny either. I have thick thighs and some belly fat while my cousins are all skinny… so I guess not being able to escape from their comments finally got on me and let out my insecurities affecting my reading and writing. Like, I can't read anything but fluff and whenever I try to write, I can't seem to do it right.
Don't worry though, I wouldn't abandon this story. I love this story so much and you guys are all fantastic. "Proving Him Wrong" will get updates soon too, I just haven't found my inspiration to continue that story yet but my goal is to finish both P&P fanfics so I can write more P&P stories.
Second of all, yes, I've combined two chapters into one if you've noticed.
The reason why I did this is because one; I noticed that some of my chapters appeared to be filler chapters even though their content is still relevant to the plot. Two, I was bothered by the chapter-length inconsistency. The reason that happened was because I started writing 2K words at least per chapter (because I don't have time at that time) and my latest chapters were at least 4K words (because I finally had more time writing).
What I meant to say, was that the chapters should be read as they are now. You don't have to re-read, nothing really changed – except that I changed some grammar mistakes (and changing 'cookies' to 'biscuits') or other mistakes relating to that. Also, some chapters had been cut differently so there will be some cliffhangers in some chapters that weren't there before.
The only thing that changed in the timeline was the part when Edward Gardiner, Lizzy's uncle, was reading the list of names that Lizzy shouldn't associate with. It was moved to a later chapter. Apart from that, this work was as it was.
I'm sorry for the confusion, though I hope you understand what I'm saying. From now on, all chapters are going to be at least 4500 words.
Recap:
Chapter 13 – Mrs Bennet tried to force Lizzy and Mr Collins to marry but failed, Jane's reasons were revealed, and Lizzy opened her eyes to the truth.
© 2019 Zest Layne
Only the pouring sound of the rain from outside could be heard at the Lucas's drawing room. Each one was busy processing Mrs Bennet's latest scheme.
Darcy was angry that Elizabeth had almost been forced to marry another man, but that anger was overpowered by the worry he felt for her. Unlike the last time she had opened up to him and his cousins where she'd cried and croaked up her words, or when she'd told him about Mrs Bennet's most horrible attempt at harming her yesterday with heated anger, Elizabeth informed them of this morning's event with a stoic expression and a steady voice.
That frightened Darcy. What happened today had clearly affected Elizabeth, whether for the good or bad he had yet to find out. Still, it was making him feel uneasy. He wasn't used to this Elizabeth. The sparkle in her eyes was gone. And though she smiled at him earlier, he knew it was half-heartedly done.
Luncheon came and Lady Lucas invited Darcy and his cousins to join them. He could tell that the Lucases were still a bit uneasy around them and he thought that if it wasn't raining heavily outside, then the matron wouldn't have issued the invitation. Nonetheless, he was grateful for the opportunity to spend more time with Elizabeth… more so, because she wasn't acting like her usual self. He was worried so he was grateful for the chance to keep an eye on her.
Whilst she had enjoyed eating biscuits with him yestermorning, it appeared she didn't have the same appetite as today. When it seemed that she was not going to eat anymore, Darcy finally spoke. "The pheasant is good, Miss Elizabeth. I recommend eating more of it."
He internally sighed in relief when she added some food to her plate. The memory of her passing out a few days ago was still fresh and he didn't want a repeat of the incident. So when she was done with the pheasant, he encouraged her to try more salad and drink more tea. While he was still unsatisfied with the amount she ate, he didn't push any further than that.
Once they finished their meal, they all went back to the drawing room where Miss Lucas convinced Elizabeth to play the pianoforte. At first, Darcy thought that Elizabeth would decline her friend's request, however, after a thoughtful look, she conceded. Not wanting to miss an opportunity, Darcy offered to turn the pages.
It took him a minute to realise that Elizabeth didn't need someone to turn the pages. Elizabeth was playing with her eyes closed; and with every press of her fingers on the keys, Darcy found out why Miss Lucas asked her to play. It wasn't for entertainment. It was a way for Elizabeth to vent her feelings – feelings that did not reflect her voice or expression.
She started almost pounding the keys but as she got to the middle she relaxed and slowed her movements and the melody became soft yet heavy.
Anger. Hurt. Hopelessness.
Had this morning's events finally opened her eyes to the reality of her family? Had she finally accepted the truth? As if answering his silent questions, she repeated the last part over and over. Though technically, the piece was supposed to be done. Darcy didn't mind, he let her be and he watched quietly as he pretended to turn the sheet.
As Elizabeth played the pianoforte, Darcy heard Sir William and Mr Lucas informed the others that Bingley, his sisters and Mr Hurst had been at Lucas Lodge earlier and invited them to a ball at Netherfield on the 26th.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly after her fourth time playing the last part.
She looked at him as her fingers continued playing. "What is there to talk about, my Lord? It was done and the predicament has been resolved."
He nodded in reply, unsure of how to proceed. Should he push her to talk or should he let her be?
"You play very well." He finally said.
She gave him a sad smile. "Grandma Claire made sure I mastered it. I practice for her. She loves hearing me play and it's the only way I can make her feel better when she started to weaken from her illness."
Hours passed and the rain seemed to pour heavier. Darcy didn't even know how Digby and a footman managed to get to Lucas Lodge with the rain but they did. They were both soaked through, and for the first time that day, Darcy saw Elizabeth back in her element as she fussed around the two servants and chastising them for going out while it was heavily raining.
By the time Elizabeth had calmed down and went back to her stoic state, the rain had turned merciless. The bad weather resulted in Lady Lucas offering for all of them to stay at Lucas Lodge for the night, including his personal guards, their coachman and a footman.
He was thankful for the storm. Not only would it give him more time with Elizabeth but it also would placate him to see how she was faring. Unfortunately, the tempest outside was not the only storm they would be facing…
-p&p-
Sharon Lucas did not like this day at all. Not only was she was horrified to learn Fanny Bennet's scheme but Eliza's behaviour alarmed her.
She knew the young lady very well for she considered Eliza as a daughter, a niece at the very least, and it was rare for Eliza to be stoic. No matter what the situation was, Eliza always had her emotions shown on her face. Although most of the time, it was the opposite of what she was feeling.
Sharon remembered the times when Eliza would be mad or sad, but a smile was still plastered on her face. And while it pained Sharon to see Eliza faked a smile, she'd rather have that than the Eliza eating luncheon quietly with them today with a blank expression on her face.
'Poor dear, she must be in too much shock to know what to feel.'
Her worries only eased a little when Charlotte convinced Eliza to play. At least, Sharon could hear the emotion in every note. Nonetheless, Eliza's reaction only made Sharon determined to reveal the truth.
She had already written to Madeline the other day, after visiting Eliza on the anniversary of little Thomas' death. Her husband had also written to Edward Gardiner about the same matter. Sharon hoped that they'd reply soon, for she really didn't want to keep what she knew a secret any longer.
Eliza had suffered too much already. The poor girl deserved to know the truth.
But upon looking at the heavy rainfall by the window, Sharon knew that her wish to hear from the Gardiners as soon as possible couldn't come true. Not in this weather.
Yet, at the same time, she wanted to tell Eliza what she knew, preferably tomorrow. Eliza needed a good night rest after this morning's events. Sharon didn't want to overwhelm her. However, she also knew that Elizabeth needed to know the truth sooner rather than later.
Perhaps it would lessen the pain that Fanny's actions this morning caused.
After making sure that Eliza's room had been prepared, so the girl could retire early, she headed to her own room. She felt guilty for what Fanny had done today, and also all the previous things that woman had done to Eliza that Sharon didn't even know about.
Maybe if she had told Eliza the truth about herself when the girl had started suspecting that she was not truly a Bennet, then Eliza wouldn't have tried to improve her relationships with the Bennets. Maybe Eliza wouldn't be hurting as much as she was now. Perhaps Sharon could have spared her from all the pain she had felt, or at least, half of it.
But at the same time, if she did tell Eliza the truth when she was younger, many things could have gone wrong. Eliza might run away or disobeyed the Gardiners' rules whenever she was in town, those would only endanger her.
Now was not the same case as before. Eliza was older and wiser, and while she might still make impulsive decisions, she'd have many things to consider now – especially since she'd become closer to Mary and Kitty and she had found three new friends.
One of which, Sharon suspected, that Eliza might have an attachment to.
Those people, along with her children, should keep Eliza grounded. They should be enough to prevent Eliza from doing something reckless. Because if there was one thing Sharon knew for sure, it was that after learning the truth, Eliza would want to stay away as far as possible from Sharon and her husband, as well as the Gardiners.
Tomorrow, she would tell Eliza the truth. With the bad weather outside and almost all the people she cared about being in the same house, Eliza wouldn't be able to run away.
All that's left for Sharon to do was convince her husband that it was time to reveal the truth – with or without the Gardiners' response.
-p&p-
Elizabeth had finally come to terms with the events earlier but she was still feeling restless. Charlotte and Maria, along with Alexa, had all persuaded her to retire not even five minutes after dinner. The three of them kept on insisting she needed some rest. And while it was true that she felt drained, she couldn't bring herself to sleep no matter how many times she tried to arrange her pillow. It wasn't that the guest room was unpleasant. It might be smaller than her chamber at the Dower House but it had everything to make her feel at home.
The wall was cream-coloured just like her room; there was a writing desk on the side and even a chaise near the window. Lady Lucas had made this room look like her own bedroom as possible and as much as Lizzy appreciated the thought, she still couldn't find it in her to sleep.
With a tired sigh, she decided to put on her champagne silk robe over her white chemise and because it was cold, she also draped on a fawn-coloured shawl on her shoulders. (She was very lucky that Alexa braved the heavy rain just to check on her and brought her a trunk full of belongings.)
Once she was decent enough, she grabbed the empty glass (Alexa had brought her a full glass of milk less than half an hour ago to help her sleep) on her bedside table before exiting the room. Perhaps walking would do her some good. She'll just ask for another glass of milk in the kitchen and proceed to the library to borrow some books. Maybe reading could help her sleep.
However, before she could make her way to the kitchen she passed Sir William's study and heard her name. Now, Lizzy wasn't really one to eavesdrop on conversations (excluding the occasions she spied on Mr Kearsley), but she had this feeling that she should listen.
As her ear made contact with the cold wooden door, Lizzy decided that what she was doing was wrong. She was about to step away and complete her own agenda, but what she heard next froze her on the spot.
"We both know that Elizabeth is not Thomas and Fanny's daughter!"
Her ears must be playing with her.
That must be it.
However, Sir William's answering exclamation only confirmed that what she heard was real.
"Exactly, she is not a Bennet! All the more reasons to keep the truth from her and wait for the Gardiners' respond."
The sound of glass shattering on the floor made the conversation halt. Elizabeth looked down at her shaking hands before moving her gaze to the shards of glass on the floor. She stepped back, the sudden pain on her right foot confirmed that she was not dreaming. This was real. She was awake.
But she didn't want it to be. As much as she had fantasised about it before, she did not want it to be real. Because if what she heard was real, then that meant she spent years of pain and insults for nothing. That meant that she was given responsibilities that were not hers. It would mean that her whole life was a lie… that she was living a lie.
Elizabeth felt her world spinning.
Before the door could open, Elizabeth felt herself hurrying down the stairs. She needed to get away from here. She turned to the first entrance she encountered. It was the drawing room. She made the wrong choice. There were too many people – Charlotte, Maria, Anne, Col. Fitzwilliam, Lord Ashbourne… She needed to get away.
"Miss Elizabeth."
It's too late. Her presence had been noticed. They all saw her. She turned to exit. Someone caught her elbow. John.
"Eliza?"
"I am well." The words escaped her hurriedly. "I was going to the kitchen to get some milk. I apologise for disturbing you all. If you will excuse me." She wasn't certain that they understood her words, because she spoke so fast, but she did not care at the moment. What she wanted was to be alone and so she bid them goodbye and a quick curtsy.
Before she could leave, however, Lord Ashbourne was gesturing at her bare feet. "Your foot, it is bleeding."
"Oh." She must've stepped on the broken glass. That must be where the throbbing pain from her right foot came from.
"Please sit, Miss Elizabeth." Before she could even respond, Lord Ashbourne was already leading her towards the settee.
They were all talking simultaneously; the only thing she could make out was her name. She could hear them but her head refused to process what they were saying. Her mind was still stuck on the conversation she overheard.
It wasn't true, was it?
No, it couldn't be…
But then, both Lady Lucas and Sir William appeared by the doorway, looking grim. Their expressions spoke more than real words of confirmation ever could.
Elizabeth shook her head at them, tears falling down her eyes unbidden.
-p&p-
It all happened so quickly. One moment Darcy was playing cards with Richard and Mr John Lucas while the ladies busied themselves with the pianoforte and the next, just before Mr Lucas arrived with a bottle of port, a pale-looking Elizabeth in her nightclothes appeared by the doorway.
Darcy felt that it was impolite to look at Elizabeth while she was wearing informal clothing – even if they looked modest – so he averted his gaze to the floor. However, the smudge of crimson on the floor caught his attention. Elizabeth's foot was bleeding.
"Please sit, Miss Elizabeth." He didn't wait for her response and assisted her to sit on the settee. He could tell that she wasn't herself. Though she tried to appear composed – the paleness of her countenance, her trembling form and her glassy eyes betrayed her.
Just as he finished placing an ottoman a few feet away from Elizabeth so she could rest her foot on it, he saw Miss Lucas asking a maid to bring necessary supplies in helping Elizabeth. Anne, Richard, Mr Lucas and Miss Maria were hovering over him and asking Elizabeth multiple questions of 'what was wrong' and 'what happened'. He didn't think that the inquiries were helping but he also knew that they were also worried about Elizabeth as he was.
Anne was seconds away from handing Elizabeth a cup of tea when Lady Lucas and Sir William entered the room. It was the sight of the couple that brought Elizabeth out of her reverie, but not in a good way, for as soon as her eyes landed on the master and mistress of the house, tears spilt from her eyes.
Elizabeth's reaction caused the other participants in the room, including Darcy, to look questioningly at the couple. But the two only focused their gaze on Elizabeth.
Finally, Lady Lucas broke the silence. "How much did you hear, Eliza, dear?"
It took a full minute before Elizabeth swallowed and croaked out the words, "Enough to make think twice about who I could trust."
"It's not what you think, Eliza –" Sir William started only to be cut off by Elizabeth.
"Yes, it's certainly not what I think." She clenched her fist. "You're not who I think you are, my life is certainly not what I thought it was and I'm not even certain of what I think about myself anymore!"
Her outburst surprised all of them in the room; the two oldest occupants even flinched at her accusations. But before the conversation could go any further Miss Lucas stepped in. "I think it would be best if we check on Eliza's injury first."
Digby appeared in the doorway with one of the Lucas' maids and proceeded to take care of Elizabeth's injured foot. However, Elizabeth remained impassive even though cleaning her wound – judging by the looks of it – would certainly sting.
Once the maids were done, Lady Lucas dismissed them and instructed them to get some early rest. Miss Lucas and Anne settled themselves on each side of Elizabeth while Darcy made his way to where Mister Lucas and Richard were sitting. Miss Maria was still sitting by the pianoforte but her attention was focused on her parents who were sitting on the opposite side of the room.
-p&p-
If Elizabeth didn't have any inkling suspicions that the Gardiners and the Lucases were keeping something from her, then perhaps she wouldn't be this angry. But alas, she knew that they had secrets they didn't want her to know about.
(If only she hadn't been afraid to question the people who treated her more nicely than her own family – the Bennets, she corrected herself – then perhaps, she wouldn't be in this position.)
Despite being aware of this, Elizabeth always put her suspicions at the back of her mind and followed them without questions. When they didn't want her roaming around London – she complied (mostly). She was supposed to wear cloaks wherever she went every time she was in Town – she did all that too.
Because she had thought that their secret was something to do with her safety. Perhaps, another powerful man was after her Uncle Gardiner again. Or maybe her Uncle Gardiner had a dispute against another rich tradesman? However, never had Elizabeth thought that their secret had something to do with her alone.
Overhearing Lady Lucas and Sir William's conversation was like a slap of confirmation to her face. Maybe she even knew that their secret had something to do with her unconsciously. What she couldn't accept was that, why didn't they tell her if she wasn't a Bennet? Surely, it would've made her life easier.
This morning's events flashed in her mind.
She was almost forced to marry a man she did not want to marry – all because Mrs Bennet had planned a compromise.
Not knowing the truth endangered her. After all, despite the truth of what happened, a lady's reputation was no less brittle than it was beautiful; one false step involved her in endless ruin. If Lady Lucas wasn't the one who visited and if Jane wasn't in the same room with her and Mr Collins, Elizabeth could've been ruined.
If only Lizzy knew the truth, perhaps she would never push herself to be a part of the Bennet family. Maybe she would've suffered less at the hands of Mr and Mrs Bennet. It wouldn't hurt as much like this – knowing that she wasted time trying to be on her 'parents'' good graces.
She was mad at herself. She could've tried to figure out their secret years earlier. Sooner. She could've saved herself the heartache. But she didn't. And now, she had to pay the price.
"Eliza," Lady Lucas called, the woman's eyes looking at her entreatingly.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Do you think it's wise to have this conversation in a room full of other people?" Sir William asked.
"Sooner or later the world would know the truth." Of course, she was scared that they were having this conversation in front of many people. But a part of her also wanted to know if they would accept her if she wasn't a Bennet, wasn't a gentleman's daughter anymore… if she wasn't who they thought she was.
If they didn't, then she would let herself be hurt tonight. She'd welcome all the pain tonight if it meant she'd no longer be hurt but tomorrow. She just wanted it all to end.
"Maria," Sir William called, "would you please fetch Digby from her room and ask her to guard the door of the drawing room? Once you finished, I want you to stay outside and make sure that none of the servants enters this room, alright."
Maria looked like she wanted to protest but one look from her mother silenced her, "Yes, Papa." With that, she hurried out of the drawing room and closed the door behind her.
"Very well," Lady Lucas sighed, "what do you want to know?"
Lizzy clasped her hands on her lap to stop them from shaking, avoiding everyone's eyes except the master and mistress of the house. "Start from the very beginning. I want to know all."
"You might want to open that bottle of port you're holding, son," Sir William said to John, "each one of us needs at least one cup."
While John and Charlotte were busy pouring drinks for everyone, Lady Lucas checked the door outside and said some instructions to Digby.
Sir William then turned to Lizzy. "We do not know the whole story, Eliza but we'll tell you what we do know…" he ran a hand through his balding hair, before speaking slowly, "what you heard earlier was true. Thomas and Fanny Bennet are not your real parents."
Gasps and sharp intakes of breaths filled the room while Elizabeth swallowed. Luckily, the glasses of port were quickly distributed after Sir William's revelation.
"Are you certain that you want us to be here, Lizzy?" Anne, who was sitting on her left, asked.
Lizzy nodded. "Yes, I could really use a friend right now." She then tightened her grip on the glass of port in her hands, "However, if you do not consider me as your friend anymore because of my parentage, then I am sorry for taking your time."
"Of course, I am still your friend, Lizzy," Anne assured placing one hand on her wrist. "I just wanted to make sure that our presence," her eyes darted to Lord Ashbourne and Colonel Fitzwilliam, "is not making you uncomfortable. But if you are not, then we shall stay."
Lizzy gave her a small smile.
"Forgive my intrusion, but I have a question to ask." All eyes now turned to Colonel Fitzwilliam who was looking at Sir William. "Is Mrs Claire Bennet Miss Elizabeth's mother? Miss Elizabeth showed us the miniature of her grandparents and since she got her eyes from her grandfather and the colour of her hair from her grandmother –"
Sir William cut his explanation off with a shake of his head. "That is a good guess, Colonel. But I am afraid that we have deceived Eliza," his eyes turned to her before looking down ashamedly, "more than we would like to admit."
"The miniature you have of your grandparents are false, Eliza." Lady Lucas explained, looking at her sadly, "As you know, your Aunt Madeline is a very talented artist. She painted a miniature of Claire and Henry with your colouring. You never did saw your grandmother's true hair colour so it made it easier for you to believe. Claire's hair was pure light brown and without a reddish hue like yours, my dear, while Henry, her husband, didn't have green eyes. Rather, they were light blue like Thomas's."
"Madeline made the paintings as a precaution, in case you started doubting your parentage," Lady Lucas continued, "and when you did, she gave the miniatures to you."
"But why didn't they just tell me the truth?" Lizzy cried.
"It was to protect you." Sir William defended. "Your Aunt and Uncle only wanted what's best for you, Eliza, and so do I and Lady Lucas."
"Protect me?" Lizzy spitted the words as if they were poison. "Had I really been protected? Not knowing the truth only made me vulnerable to the emotional pain I had felt from the Bennets. It hurt every time I got rejected or insulted by the people who I thought were my own family. It pained me when I experienced that the people who I thought were my family, at the time, were capable of hurting me physically."
As more words escaped her, her voice also increased in volume and her gestures began to go wild. "I was almost forced to marry a man I did not want to marry just this morning! My reputation could've been ruined. I could've been forced to live a life I did not want and you say that you're only trying to protect me?!" She finished, panting and tears streaming down her eyes.
Her next words came in a harsh whisper. "The truth might hurt me, but at least it would save me from hoping for better relationships with the people who I thought were my parents." Taking a sip of her drink, Lizzy tried to calm herself down.
After a moment, Lady Lucas spoke. "Fanny could never force you to marry anyone, Eliza."
Lizzy and the others looked at her in question.
"Claire had very specific conditions in her will. Thomas or Fanny couldn't make you accept an offer from anyone. If they did, they would stop receiving the additional allowance that came from Claire's fortune. They shouldn't be able to physically harm you too because the same punishment would be given."
Lizzy placed her drink on the table. She felt sick. The people she thought as her parents were paid to treat her well? She could vaguely feel Charlotte and Anne's hands on her shoulders and while she did feel better at their support, it didn't take the heavy feeling that twisted at the pit of her stomach. "Were my supposed sisters paid for their kindness and pity as well?"
When Lady Lucas shook her head, Lizzy felt a little relieved and she felt herself breathing a little more easily.
"None of the other girls knew the truth. The only people who knew are your Aunt and Uncle Gardiners, Thomas, Fanny, the Philipses, Sir William, and I. My cousin, Mr Milton, who was also Claire's attorney, knew as well."
"My wife and I do not know the reason why you came into Claire Bennet's care, Eliza," Sir William added. "But we do know that your mother entrusted you to her for your safety."
Now her grandmother's dying words were starting to make sense. It wasn't Fanny Bennet who Grandma Claire was referring to when she told Lizzy that her mother loved her, it was her biological mother.
"Do you know who my real mother is?"
Both Lady Lucas and Sir William shook their heads, so she tried another question.
"How old am I when she gave me to Grandma Claire? And what kind of danger is she hiding me away from?"
"I believe you were given to Claire before you turned seven months old, Eliza." Sir William answered. "As for what she was protecting you from, I think Gardiner was the one with the answers. Claire did make sure that very few people knew of her secrets."
"Sir William and I didn't even know about it until Fanny started treating you differently." Lady Lucas confessed. "Fanny used to be a good mother to you, Eliza. I think it was her son's death that changed her." She trailed off before clearing her throat, "The only reason we knew about it was because Claire was my godmother."
At the mention of her beloved grandmother – did she still have the right to call her that? – Elizabeth asked, "If I am not truly a Bennet, why did Grandma Claire leave me her properties and her fortune?"
"Before my wife answer that question, I need everyone in this room to give their word that none of this information will get out, including everything we told you earlier."
Everyone promised.
"That was why Mr and Mrs Bennet hated me, wasn't it?" Elizabeth muttered to herself. "Because Grandma Claire left everything to me... maybe I can pass it all to them."
"You will do no such thing, Eliza," Lady Lucas answered sharply. "My godmother left her possessions to you because she loved you and she wanted you to have it. As for Thomas and Fanny, they have nothing to be angry about Claire's Will. They disliked you because they have fooled themselves that you're at fault for their son's death when it was no one's fault at all."
"They have nothing to be angry about?" John asked. "I am not siding with the Bennets, Mama, but if I am the son and my mother didn't leave me anything, knowing that my estate is entailed and that all my children are girls, I'd say that I have a right to be bitter about it. Not that it gave him right to treat Lizzy as a steward but still –"
Lady Lucas held a hand up at her son. "I do get your point, John. But the thing was Thomas Bennet isn't Claire Bennet's son."
This made everyone gasp, including Lizzy.
"Unfortunately, my godmother hadn't been blessed with children of her own. She was capable of bearing children because my mother told me that she had been there the three times Claire had been pregnant, but none of them survived. Two died in miscarriage and one from stillbirth. Sadly, during the month that her third pregnancy was due, she found out that her husband had a mistress."
Lizzy felt the tears beginning to pool from her eyes. "That was why she rarely talked about grandpa…"
Lady Lucas nodded sadly, "The day after her third child, a son, died a few minutes after the delivery, Thomas was born. It was even more painful for Claire because Henry, her husband, took Thomas home and asked Claire to help raise Thomas as her son because the estate needed an heir. Mr Collins, the father of your current clergy, Miss de Bourgh, was a cruel man. Henry didn't want Mr Collins to have a possibility to inherit. And so, before he informed Claire about Thomas, he had already told their servants that Thomas was one of his and Claire's sons. Everyone believed that Thomas was the twin brother of Claire's deceased son. The only people who knew the truth, apart from Claire and Thomas, were the midwife and my mother.
"I only knew about it because my mother made me promise to look after her dearest friend. After my mother died, it was rumoured that Claire left Hertfordshire to care for a sick uncle in Bedfordshire. And while she did care for her sick uncle, she didn't return to Hertfordshire even when her uncle died. Instead, she travelled north, changed her name and applied for a job. When she came back here, permanently, it was because Henry was sick. Months after her husband passed, she helped me prepare for my wedding too, the then-Mr William Lucas. After he became a knight due to his mayoralty, Claire helped us afford and managed Lucas Lodge.
"From time to time, Claire would visit her estate on the north – how she gained it, I know not but I heard that her sick uncle had left her a good amount of money – and on one of those visits, a pregnant Fanny, a two-year-old Jane, and Thomas joined her. When they returned, you were already with them, Eliza, and Fanny was busy parading you and her son, saying she was so lucky to bear twins. Because everyone knew that Thomas had a 'twin' brother, it was not hard to believe that Fanny had twins. Apart from that, I've already told you all that I know. The Gardiners were the ones with more information about you."
Lizzy remained silent, trying to process all the information she learned. Meanwhile, the others started voicing out their questions.
"Do you think she was born from a powerful man outside of wedlock? And the wife of said man was looking for her? It seemed that Eliza's real mother loved her so she wouldn't give her up that easily, would she?" John's question made the lady's gasp and Lady Lucas admonished him for asking such a thing. "I care for Eliza too, but I wanted to know the possibilities why she was given away. It wouldn't do any good if she was kept in the dark."
"I appreciate your thoughts, brother, but I don't think that it's as bad as you say," Charlotte said. "Perhaps, she was an heiress to a large fortune so they sent her away until she was of age to claim it."
"We need to be realistic, sister. Don't put such positive ideas into Eliza's head. She needed to be prepared for whatever the truth was." John countered. "Maybe her family was deep in debt to someone? Or perhaps her parents eloped but it was stopped and now her mother's family wanted Eliza gone?"
"John!" His parents and elder sister chastised.
Eliza held her palm up, "No, John is right. I have to prepare myself for the worse. But I think I have too much to ponder on. May I be excused to retire to my room?"
"Of course, Eliza," Lady Lucas nodded. "I hope you can forgive us for keeping such a huge secret from you, dear."
"If it helps, we have written to your Aunt and Uncle the other day, but we have yet to receive a reply." Sir William added.
Elizabeth only nodded in response. She knew that she would forgive them eventually like she would forgive the Gardiners for lying to her as well, but she couldn't do that tonight. So after a quick curtsy, she exited the drawing room and released a deep breath.
To her surprise, the door beside her opened to reveal Anne who smiled at her. "Miss Lucas told me that our rooms are right next to each other Lizzy. Can I walk with you on the way there?"
Lizzy let out a small smile and nodded. She didn't know what to say. Her thoughts were still whirling. Fortunately, Anne didn't seem to mind. She was thankful that Anne linked her hands with hers. Otherwise, Lizzy felt that her body would've collapsed from tonight's revelation.
"Thank you, Anne." She said once they reached her room.
Anne gave her an understanding smile. "It is no problem, Lizzy. Just know that I am still your friend and that I'd always be here to listen. What happened tonight will not change that."
"Thank you," Lizzy repeated, this time, squeezing Anne's hands.
When she entered her room, she immediately sat on the settee by the window.
Upon seeing a crescent moon up in the dark sky, she sighed.
As always, the sight of the moon always brought her a calming presence. Her head was still reeling with thoughts. Who was her real mother? Why hasn't she come back yet? Was she still alive? What kind of danger was she in? Was Elizabeth even her real name? Was her birthday her actual birthday? Who was her father? Did she have siblings? Was she the only one who was given away?
She must've thought about many things for a long time because when she glanced again at the clock, it was past one in the morning. Acknowledging that she needed sleep, she moved to the bed to lie down. After what seemed like hours of staring upon the ceiling, she felt her eyes close and soon, the darkness consumed her.
-p&p-
At the Gardiner Residence in London, Edward Gardiner sat up from his bed. It was the fourth time he had woken up that night.
Earlier this evening, he finally managed to tell Mrs Winters about the list of people Lizzy should avoid. He was going to tell her that morning, but his time had been occupied in thinking out of ways he could salvage the warehouse that was burned. Then, just before luncheon, he and Madeline were forced to close their other warehouse because of the bad weather.
The rain continued for hours and it was only after dinner, once the children had retired, that he remembered his task for himself. To both his surprise and worry, Mrs Winters revealed that Lizzy had not only encountered three people included in the list, but it turned out that his niece had also made friends with them. Worse of all was that those people were staying at Netherfield Park – Longbourn's neighbouring estate!
He reprimanded Lizzy's companion about allowing her to befriend new people when they've been hiding her for years, but at the same time, he understood the fact that Lizzy longed for freedom. He couldn't really blame Mrs Winters for letting Lizzy be happy with her newly found acquaintances but another part of him couldn't help but worry.
Those names were in Claire's list for an important reason. That meant that those people could endanger Lizzy if they weren't the ones who would cause direct danger to her.
He walked towards the window and sighed. He hoped that the rain stopped soon so they could be on their way to Hertfordshire by tomorrow. He had just read Sir William's letter, an hour after talking to Mrs Winters, about how Sir William and Lady Lucas were contemplating on telling Lizzy the truth.
Edward only hoped that they'd get to be in Hertfordshire in time before they could tell Lizzy anything.
So, I hope that this chapter made up for the two months that I've been gone. Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the reviews : )
And stay safe, wear a mask, and practice social distancing.
