RECAP:
Chapter 22 – Elizabeth bonded a little with her family, wrote a letter to Darcy and found a Chartreux cat.
© 2019 Zest Layne
Unsure of how to face her brothers, who both had frowns on their faces, Elizabeth inwardly sighed in relief when their Father appeared behind them. "Oh, good, you are all here. I was looking for my children but Mrs Tyson informed me you all went outside."
"Why were you up a tree?" Alexander asked suddenly.
Elizabeth avoided her eldest brother's stern expression and held out her newly found friend to them. "I heard a kitten while I was roaming around the garden and I thought it needed my help to come down."
Father looked at them with a confused expression before asking, "And you did this without your bonnet and gloves?"
"Yes," she mumbled, eyeing the said forgotten materials on the stone bench. Her father was now sharing the same frown as her brothers and Elizabeth was getting uncomfortable with their expressions.
"When did you learn to climb a tree?" It was Anthony who asked this time.
"I think when I was four years old, brother." She answered, her gaze focused on the little kitten who was serving to be her only comfort at the moment.
"And it was your Grandma Claire that taught you again along with your friend John Lucas and your Uncle Gardiner?"
She shook her head at Anthony's inquiry. "Yes, but not Uncle Gardiner, brother."
Before their interrogation could resume, their Mother walked towards them with a smile and looked at their Father with narrowed eyes. "Arthur, I thought I asked you to call the children to the drawing room." She then turned to Elizabeth and her brothers with a smile, "Come, my darlings, I have surprises waiting for you inside."
Wanting to escape, Elizabeth looped an arm through her mother's and began walking out of the garden. "What is it, mother?"
"Oh, I shall not tell you. If I do, it will not be a surprise now, will it?" Her gaze then dropped to the kitten on Elizabeth's other arm. "Aw, what an adorable little kitten. Where did you found him, darling?"
"In the garden, mother," she answered shortly, not wanting to elaborate that she climbed up a tree to help it down, afraid that her mother might start questioning her as well.
"I think it belongs to one of our tenant farmers. Some of them keep cats to control pests. But," she paused, making Elizabeth looked at her hopefully, "if you want to keep this little one, then I suppose we can ask the owner to give us this little one."
Elizabeth beamed at her mother and stroked the kitten's fur. "Would you like that?"
He only meowed in response.
Soon, they reached the drawing room and Mother didn't waste time before presenting them with her surprises. There were new hunting guns and fencing swords for her brothers and a new pianoforte for Elizabeth.
"Do you like it?"
Her brothers were quick to kiss their mother on the cheeks and expressed their gratitude for their gifts. Elizabeth did the same and hugged both of her parents.
"'Tis beautiful, mother. But what is the occasion?" She asked.
Her mother only smiled. "I don't need an occasion to spoil my children. Besides, do you not think it would be more pleasant to practice on a new instrument?"
"Of course," she replied.
Breaking their fast was a quiet affair. Elizabeth was still confused by her father and siblings' behaviour that morning but after her mother's words regarding the pianoforte, she might have an idea as to why they reacted that way. Lost in her musings, she stayed silent only speaking when one of them directed a question at her.
After eating, her brothers asked her if she would like to ride with them but she politely declined, saying that she had slept poorly and that she would like to get some rest. In truth, she just wanted to be alone for a while and the only safe place she could think of was her bedchamber.
She had seen that same frown on her brothers' faces yesterday as well, while they were riding around the lanes closest to the manor. It appeared on their faces when she revealed that she preferred riding in an astride position. Their expression became even more severe when she'd also told them that she was taught by Grandma Claire, Uncle Gardiner and John Lucas to ride like that.
The day prior that, she saw her mother had the same look on her face while she was playing the pianoforte. Today, that same expression graced her father's and siblings' faces when they found out she could expertly climb up and down a tree and they saw her without her bonnet and gloves.
It was obvious that they didn't approve of her unladylike behaviour. After Grandma Claire died, she didn't practice the pianoforte as she ought to. She could play selected pieces without a mistake but more often, her playing was not perfect. The piece she had played for her family was a new one. Therefore, her mistakes were more obvious. That must have been the reason for her mother's frown.
Her playing was clearly not enough and they bought her a new pianoforte to encourage her into practising more. Her brothers probably asked her to ride with them today to ensure that she would practice riding properly and not astride.
She sighed as she let her back fell onto the soft bed and stared at the ceiling. She should have known that her behaviour was unacceptable. She was no longer a simple gentleman's daughter in a small county. No, she was the daughter of a Duke and Duchess and sister to a Marquess. Soon, if everything went well, she would be the wife of a Marquess too. She needed to let go of Elizabeth and start embracing Isabel.
The question was, could she do it?
Meow.
Elizabeth smiled a little as she felt the kitten rubbed itself upon her feet, which were still touching the carpeted floor of her room. She sat up and picked up the kitten and placed him on her lap. "What do you think should I do?"
The kitten only wriggled his way out of her grasp and jumped back down onto the carpet. "You like it there?"
The little thing only curled itself up into a ball as a response.
"Very well, I shall leave you alone."
She looked around her room once more and spotted her writing desk. Upon remembering that she had received Fitzwilliam's letter yesterday, she moved towards the nightstand beside her bed and opened its drawer. Then, she pulled out her small chest and unlocked it to reveal the carefully folded letter she kept hidden.
My dearest Elizabeth,
It read, instantly brightening her mood.
I have so many things I wish to say to you but I will begin this letter by letting you know that I am in no way angry for what you did. Worried and perturbed yes, but I can see where you are coming from and I am relieved that you are safe and well. I am also very thankful that the night at the library is now behind us.
I promise not to let my mouth get the best of me and I shall not decide for the two of us without consulting you. This being said, I am planning on telling my father about our attachment within this month. Will you be alright with that? My mother already knows about us but she has yet to learn your name. In your situation – I will keep it that way until you can tell me the particulars about your family. It will be safer this way, I think.
You need not worry about my mother for she has already recovered and was now as healthy as ever, convincing me not to lock myself in my study and busy myself with estate matters. As for Anne and Richard, they left for their homes yesterday and earlier today, respectively. I am alone with my family now so your letter is very much welcome. If you allow it, I shall also tell my sister about us.
Now, I shall get to the bottom of things. First of all, I cannot believe that you would play with my emotions, love, by using endearments every single time you are going to say something that will surprise me or agitate me. I am very vexed that your methods worked, for one second I am smiling and the next I am frowning before smiling once again. I think you will be more amused to know that your predictions of my mood are all accurate.
It's as if I was following a script in a play, my love. When I paced, frowned and smiled – you have guessed my reactions well and I do not know whether to be annoyed or amuse by it. Because I dearly love you so, I chose the latter.
On a more serious note, I am truly happy for you. I am glad that you have finally met your family and from your last letter, I can tell that you are happy with them. However, you are cruel to withhold further details. And telling me about your brothers at the last moment! As if I am not eager to write to you already!
I ask you, my dearest loveliest Elizabeth – yes, I am using endearments and compliments to persuade you into granting my request – to tell me more details about your family. I have already accepted that I will have to wait to learn their names and other particular information, but will you not tell me about your reunion? How are they treating you? I know from your letter that they care about you but you must know that I am eager for your news and presence. Since I cannot have the latter yet, will you please grant me the former?
Tell me about the simple things about how you are bonding with them. Do they like to read like you do? What interests do you share with them? And most importantly, what are your brothers' favourite pastimes? Are they younger or older than you? Do you think I can bond with them through a game of billiards, by hunting, playing cards, reading? How about your father? Do you think I can impress with the same list? Can your mother be charmed by words a handsome – you are the one who said so in your letter that I am, indeed, handsome – young man?
Elizabeth couldn't help but let out a laugh at this.
You have caught me, my love. I am asking you this, not only to make sure that you are doing well but because I am preparing myself in meeting your family. As an older brother, I do not think I will ever be comfortable with the thought that my sister shall grow up and get married one day. I am sure that your brothers – whether they are younger or older than you – felt the same way about you, even more so because you have been parted from them for so long.
Even so, I will not give up my pursuit and make you my wife. Ah, what a wonderful thought that is! However, I must stop this line of thoughts or I shall only miss you more – if that is possible. You are not the only one being haunted by thoughts of your betrothed even when awake you know, so we are even.
I wish I can be with you right now. I miss our time on Oakham Mount. Eating biscuits with you under your favourite tree and our little competition on which one of us can climb it up and down best. That and racing to your tenants with our horses… Granted we had only done most of those once, but I long to do it again.
I would like to prolong this letter but not much has happened to me in the past week. Also, this is your payment for teasing me in your last missive. I will only write a longer letter once I received your next letter.
Yours always,
Fitzwilliam
P.S. If I haven't said it already, I love you Elizabeth and I dearly miss you. Take care, sweetheart.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes fondly. He intended to call her a new endearment at the very last moment just to get back at her.
She sighed and folded the letter carefully once more and hid it in the small chest she locked and hid in her drawer. She had already replied to him yesterday and she was eagerly awaiting his response soon. But since his latest letter had yet to arrive, she contented herself with reading the current letter she had.
At least Fitzwilliam did not seem to mind her unladylike attitude. It appeared that he was even fond of it, for he wanted to do those things with her again. The same thing could not be said for her family though.
But it was alright. Elizabeth knew that her parents and siblings loved her and she did not want to lose their affections because of her unladylike behaviour. She could still do those things more discreetly once she reunited with Fitzwilliam. For now, she would have to focus on being the daughter they deserved.
Yes, she would be Isabel Dianne Leighton.
-p&p-
Lady Catherine de Bourgh and her daughter Anne had been back in Rosings for three days now. However, she had yet to tell her daughter the truth about her father. Lady Catherine knew that Anne already had some idea because they had had a previous conversation about it at Netherfield but what she had revealed to her daughter back then was only half-truths.
During their ride home from Pemberly, Anne had confessed that she was mad at her father for betraying their family and that she was hurting on Lady Catherine's behalf. However, she'd also said that she would not blame her half-sister for their father's infidelity. That was what stopped Lady Catherine from telling her child the whole truth right away.
She had painted Lewis as the villain when in truth, she was the villain. Their family would be whole if only she had given Lewis a chance. With a sigh, Lady Catherine walked towards her daughter's room. She would not be a hypocrite. She told Sophia and Leicester to reveal the truth to their daughter and she shall do the same to her own.
"Mother," Anne smiled upon seeing her enter the room. She was the only one who would not knock to enter her daughter's chambers so Anne was not surprised to see her there. "What brings you here?"
Lady Catherine gave her daughter a small smile before sitting next to her on the bed. "I need to tell you something important, Anne."
Anne's eyes instantly grew wide. "It's not about the marriage bed, is it Mama? The wedding is not until next year so I beg you to only speak to me about it until that time comes. I do not want to be frightened so soon."
Despite herself, Lady Catherine laughed. "I assure you, dearest, it is nothing about that."
As if sensing the seriousness of the situation, Anne straightened herself and took hold of Lady Catherine's hands. "What is it, Mama?"
"It's about your father…"
And so, for the next half an hour, Lady Catherine told Anne the whole story.
Anne de Bourgh listened carefully as her mother narrated, starting from how she had been in love with a man named Robert Wesley when she had only been a girl of sixteen. From the faraway look in her mother's eyes, Anne could tell that she still held feelings for the man.
"He was the brother of my closest friends so we get to see each other frequently. He was only more than two years my senior so we get along really well. He started courting me six months after my coming out in society. I was eighteen and he was soon to be one and twenty. Our families had no qualms about it. He's a future viscount and I'm a daughter of an Earl. Aside from that, our parents knew us very well since we grew up together. He said that the only reason he delayed in courting me was that he wanted me to enjoy my first season without any ties to a man."
Her mother smiled at her with glassy eyes. "We were very happy but… It was four months into our courtship when… he died in a carriage accident – only two weeks after he told me he loved me and proposed. Since we wanted to keep the engagement a secret for some time before chaperones and wedding planning come in the way, our betrothal was never announced publicly. Our families only received confirmation of it that morning before he died."
Anne still did not understand where the story was going but she encouraged her mother to continue.
"Years after that, I was not the same. My brother married your Aunt Elinor – one of my closest friends. Then, Robert's sisters also got married soon after that. The next thing I know, my younger sister Anne was also getting married. It was at that point that your father entered my life."
Her mother paused and smiled lightly. "I do not like attention from men since Robert died but Lewis was very persistent. In the end, I realised that I wanted to have a family of my own too, so I accepted him when he offered courtship and later on proposed. However," her mother frowned, "I will confess that despite that, I feel guilty. I vowed to myself that Robert was the only man I am going to love and when I allowed your father to marry me and consummate our marriage, I feel that I was betraying Robert."
She then squeezed Anne's hands. "We were both happy when we found out I was with child. That had been the happiest year of our marriage. But I had to ruin it for after I had given birth to you, I began feeling guilty again. 'You should have been Robert's child, not Lewis's,' I often found myself thinking. Then, you got sick for the very first time. That brought me back to reality and I realised that I loved you, my daughter, more than I could ever love Robert or Lewis. You are a part of me, and so, I began devoting my time to you."
Once again, her mother smiled. "Your father was very happy about that and soon, things started to get back to normal. At times, I think that you are purposely getting sick just so your father and I could spend some time and fuss over you together. Still, it was not easy for Lewis to deal with me but in the end, we managed. I did tell him that I will never let him bed me again though and I supposed it was what had driven him away."
Anne did not even say anything but her mother held a hand up as if to stop her. "Now, I did not say that because I dislike the act – for it is very pleasant –"
"Mama!"
"Very well," Lady Catherine chuckled, "The reason I refused was that I do not want to be with child again. I love you Anne and I would have loved to give you siblings, but giving birth the first time frightened me so much that I do not want to go through it again. I do not want to take the risk of dying and leaving you alone in the world. Since I did not admit my fears to your father – for I am a proud creature and I will not admit to such a weakness – he must have thought that I said that because I could never love him."
This time, tears escaped her mother's eyes and a sob escaped her. "The next thing I know, as soon as you recovered from your illness, he was going away for a business trip and that the ship he was on encountered a terrible storm. I thought that he was dead and I regret not telling him that I love him." She paused, trying to compose herself. "Then, a couple of months later, I received a letter from him assuring me that he was alive and I was so happy."
She then smiled sadly at Anne. "That was until he informed me that he met someone on the place where he'd survived. You did not found the missive containing his words for I burnt it. I could not accept that I came to love him just in time when he began loving someone else. So you see, I am the one to blame for why our family is not whole. If only I told him my feelings and if only I moved on from Robert sooner…"
Her mother then stood up and walked towards the window overseeing some lanes around Rosings. "Though I know that it was my fault for our family's situation, I'm still mad at Lewis for what he did. My first act of revenge was spending his money on very expensive furniture. I know not many people are fond of my ostentatious display but I rejoice in them. Fortune was one of the things Lewis can never give her because I will always have it. Your father can support his lover, but only in modest means.
"I was bitter that I did not want his name to be mentioned. He chose his new family over us so I let you believe that he is dead and asked my siblings not to speak of it. It is true that he loved you, but he loved his new family more. I could not bear to tell you that you lost your father because of me… but seeing as you already read some of the missives exchanged, I thought it was only right to let you know."
"Oh, Mama," Anne cried, her eyes letting out a few tears. "I do not blame you for anything. I like our family the way it was and while I would have liked to spend more time with my father, he has made his choice."
Her mother only hugged her in response. "The rest of what I told you back at Netherfield, why I encouraged your match with Richard, it was all true. However, the miniature of Claire Bennet that I have, it was not because she has your half-sister."
Anne gasped.
"The woman who barged into Rosings that time you eavesdropped on us," before Anne could form a word, her mother beat her to it, "Mrs Jenkinson tells me everything. Now, as I was saying, she was indeed your father's mistress and while I did have her escorted by a footman and told her never to set foot on Rosings, I gave your half-sister five thousand pounds."
"Do you know where they are?"
Her mother shook her head. "I have been very generous about them already and I have no wish to continue the connection."
Anne nodded in understanding. Her mother had been very kind to them indeed. She found it hard to picture other women supporting their husband's bastard child.
"What about the miniature of Claire Bennet? Why do you have it in the same box?"
"That box is full of my past, Anne. I have a miniature of Claire Bennet because she used to be the governess of a friend of mine."
Anne wanted to ask more questions regarding Claire Bennet to find out more about Lizzy as well. However, the information her mother told her had yet to sink in and so, she told her mother that she would like to rest for a while.
It was four days later when Anne decided to broach the topic again after she read Ashbourne's letter telling her that Lizzy was, indeed, not her half-sister. Apparently, Lizzy was now reunited with her own family and she and Ashbourne were as in love as before, if not more. When she asked her mother about it, she was informed that her mother did know Lizzy's family.
Seeing as her mother would not tell her further details about it, Anne decided to drop the subject for now. She had tried meddling with Ashbourne's affairs back at Netherfield and it did not turn up as well as she would like. This time, since Ashbourne and Lizzy seemed to be doing fine, she decided to let them move in their own phase. In the meantime, she still had a wedding to plan with Richard and their family.
Lady Catherine, on the other hand, felt the weight off her shoulders after finally telling Anne the whole truth. She knew that her daughter was curious about her Goddaughter but Lady Catherine respected Sophia and Leicester's decision to keep the truth about their daughter for now. The only reason she could tell her siblings about it was because they were also the Nykin's godparents.
Anne would know the truth about her friend soon, Lady Catherine had no doubt. But she would let Sophia and Leicester decide when that would be.
-p&p-
Being Isabel Dianne Leighton was exhausting. Elizabeth had to constantly check that she was not being too impertinent or bold or loud. She had to school her expression every time as well as maintain the correct posture. She forced herself not to remove her bonnet when going outside along with her gloves. She even stopped herself from cuddling her new kitten, fondly named Mr Knight – for he disliked other males surrounding Lizzy, publicly.
She rode on horses using a side-saddle. She practised the pianoforte three hours every day in the morning. In the afternoon, she practised her languages. In the free times that she had, Elizabeth helped her mother embroider and sew some clothes for their tenants if they were not busy planning for Christmas, Boxing Day and Alexander's birthday. While she enjoyed doing all of them before, doing all of them with the act of being the perfect lady was very trying.
She had only been doing it for a week but she did not know how much longer she could keep it up. The only time she felt she was free to be herself was in her own chambers, however, that also stopped whenever Chloe would enter her room and greet her as 'Lady Isabel.' She had asked the lady's maid to stop alternating between 'Lady Elizabeth' and 'Lady Isabel' and told the abigail that she preferred the latter. Since then, Elizabeth was no more.
Only in writing to her beloved fiancé did Elizabeth return. She would always sign her letters for him under the name Elizabeth, for if she was being honest, it was the only name she could see herself with. And Elizabeth was who she really was, not the façade that was Isabel.
At night, when she would feel down, she would close her eyes and remember the day when Fitzwilliam first propose to her impulsively, at the garden of Lucas Lodge.
"I do not even know if I am Elizabeth!" she'd cried those words that fateful day.
"But you are Elizabeth," he'd told her impassionedly, lifting the hand he was holding to his lips before repeating his words, reverently. "You are Elizabeth." She remembered freezing in surprise at his actions but he'd kissed her again, but instead of pressing his lips at the back of her hand, he had kissed her softly at the back of her fingers near the tips.
"You are still Elizabeth whether you're a Bennet or whatever your real last name is." He had said against her fingers, his eyes not leaving hers. "You're the young lady that I've met in the rain at Hyde Park on the first day of September. The same lady who engaged me in debates Gardiner Warehouse, who played the pianoforte beautifully at Lucas Lodge, who was loved by the tenants of Longbourn, the woman who tied against me in a horse race…"
He'd paused, before Darcy kissing the inner part of her wrist. "You're the lady who has captured my heart." He had entwined their fingers together with one hand while his other hand moved up from her chin to caress her cheek. "My dearest, loveliest, Elizabeth…"
And with those words replaying over and over in her mind, Elizabeth would be able to sleep with a contented smile on her face. She would remain that way until Chloe would call her 'Lady Isabel' and Elizabeth knew that she had a new day to face.
She could stop the act, she knew that. But what would happen if she did? What would happen if her family found out that she could not change her unladylike ways? Would they still love her as they did now? Or would they begin to resent her for not being good enough as their daughter and sister?
Elizabeth did not know if she could handle rejection from them. They were the second chance she had wished for. So even though it was an exhausting task, she was not going to stop trying for them.
She could do this.
She would.
However, things did not always go as she planned them to be. On her eighth day of trying to become a proper lady, she caught a cold. To add to that, she was more uncomfortable and emotional because her time of the month had come. These caused her to make more than a few mistakes while playing the new piece she was learning on the pianoforte. She caught her mother's frown so she continued despite her discomfort.
After that, she almost fell on her temporary horse while riding with her brothers. Then, while she was practising her French, she stammered at a couple of sentences because by afternoon, her headache had worsened and so was the pain in her lower abdomen. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and rest but she would not succumb to it. Why could she not act like a proper lady without getting sick? Was this a sign that she was not truly cut out to be a lady?
She wished Fitzwilliam was here. He could make her feel better with just his presence.
But as it was, she was on her own. Despite her best efforts, she still caught the same frowns on their faces these past few days. She had even caught them meeting at her father's study one night and she heard them mentioned her name. However, seeing as her previous eavesdropping had gotten her hurt and into trouble, she tried to ignore the fact that they were somehow discussing her behind her back.
They were probably working together on how they could subtly improve her behaviour as well. She guessed because the morning after that, they were more persistent to join her in every activity she tried to engage herself with. She thought that they were even testing her on whether she had given up her unladylike habits or not because they kept asking her about it. However, she remained firm. She did not give in.
Her concerns only intensified when her mother asked her to stop playing the pianoforte after dinner and to sit next to her on the settee. Fortunately, it was only the two of them alone in the drawing room for her father and brothers have decided to excuse themselves to play billiards earlier.
"Isabel," her mother began, "we couldn't help but notice that you seem to be following a schedule for your activities these past few days. Is that how you normally spend your day? Did you grow up doing this routine and your guardians let you?"
Elizabeth couldn't bring herself to answer. If she said yes, she would be lying, but if she said no, her mother would be disappointed that her normal routine was spent frolicking around Longbourn and doing unladylike things they would not want to hear.
Despite her lack of response, her mother continued. "I will be honest with you, darling, I do not like it for –"
Before her mother could speak further, Elizabeth's sob interrupted her. She tried to stop the emotional outburst but she could not. It seemed as if the feelings she had been trying to suppress this past week had come out and Elizabeth could do little to stop them.
"Dearest, what's wrong?" Her mother was quick to check on her.
Her father and brothers entered the drawing room soon after that, and their fussing only seemed to make Elizabeth cry more. She tried to speak but the lump in her throat wouldn't let her. Then, after her third attempt failed, she clenched her fists on her lap and forced herself to speak the truth. "I apologise that my routine has displeased you. Please do not blame my guardians for they have done all they could to help me. If it is not enough I will try harder. I promise to dedicate more time learning all the accomplishments so I could be more ladylike and worthy as part of your family."
-p&p-
Her Grace, Sophia Diana Leighton, could tell that something was going on with her beloved daughter. While she had yet to know her daughter fully, Sophia knew her enough to know that her smiles on the first sennight of her stay with them were different than the one she had been showing them this past week. It seemed controlled and somewhat forced.
Her daughter's actions also seemed very calculated and precise. Not only that, but her daughter also followed a daily routine.
Before breaking their fast, she would practice on the pianoforte for hours until it was time for them to eat. After eating, the two of them would continue making plans for Alexander's birthday and if they still had some free time left they would sew and embroider clothes for the tenants. On the afternoons, her darling daughter would ride around the nearby lanes with her brothers. When she got back, she'd be in the library practising her languages with her father. Then, they would eat dinner before heading to the drawing room where each of them would play a piece on the pianoforte.
She remembered the first time she'd heard her daughter play. "It's as if I am back to the first time I heard you play." Her husband had whispered to her as they watched their daughter play for them. She'd nodded at him. Indeed, she was not the best at playing the pianoforte in terms of technicalities, especially when learning a new piece. They heard her daughter improvised at some of the notes to ease her mistakes reminded Sophia of her own habits. It saddened her to know that she was not the one who taught her how to play. Even more so, that she was the very reason why she had been separated from her daughter.
The next day after that, after Alex and Tony rode around near the Manor with their sister, her sons told her that they discovered that Isabel liked riding in astride position. Apparently, the riding habit her daughter chose to wear that day was one of the clothes she brought from Hertfordshire and it was designed to allow her to ride in astride position.
Her sons were disappointed to know that their sister already knew how to ride in that position and was also saddened and proud by the fact that Isabel was already a good horsewoman. They were even more devastated to know that she learned from a young man named John Lucas, aside from Claire and Mr Gardiner. Her sons' jealousy over this John Lucas got more prominent when they found out that Isabel also climbed trees with him. Even her husband admitted that he would have liked it if Isabel learned to climb trees from her brothers.
Her sons had initially thought that they would be the ones to teach their sister such things. Nonetheless, her sons continued to ride with their sister every afternoon in the past week. However, they noticed that she seemed to be only tolerating the activity.
"Perhaps she is already good at it that she does not like doing it every day, Mother." Alex had said to her one night after dinner once Isabel had retired. "I think she is only joining us to be polite."
"But she looks happy the first time," Tony had commented, "I do not know what has gone wrong. Is it us? Does she not want us constantly hovering over her? We could give her some space if she'd like."
Since Isabel had not complained about the activity, Sophia advised her sons to continue their riding sessions unless Isabel refused. However, as each day passed, she could see what her sons were talking about. Her daughter seemed to have lost passion for the pianoforte as well. While she has mastered the fingering and technicalities again, the feeling of the music was different than the first one they heard her play.
Even her husband had told her that when practising languages, Isabel tended to be more serious, no longer teasing and laughing with him as they studied. Since they did not know their daughter completely yet to determine her moods, they decided to leave it alone then.
However, that morning was the last straw. She could tell that her daughter was not feeling well with her frequent sniffs. However, Isabel still insisted to go out riding with her brothers. Knowing that her sons would look out for her daughter and thinking that perhaps some sun could do her some good, Sophia let them ride for some time. Her husband decided to cut their language practice short as well for he could also see that Isabel was not feeling well.
Sophia thought that her daughter would excuse herself for dinner but she still accompanied her to the drawing room. After playing one piece, Sophia could not take it anymore in silence so she called her darling daughter to sit next to her.
"Isabel," she began a little hesitantly. She was not sure how her daughter would take her words, knowing that Isabel was quite fond of her guardians but she had to speak up. What her daughter was doing to herself – spending all of her time in a schedule of doing practising different accomplishments – was not healthy.
Did she grow up with this exhausting routine? What did her daughter do for fun? Did her guardians train her to do all these things every single day? While Sophia knew she could not change the past, she could change the future. And so, calmly, she told her daughter: "We couldn't help but notice that you seem to be following a schedule for your activities these past few days. Is that how you normally spend your day? Did you grow up doing this routine and your guardians let you?"
When her daughter grew silent, Sophia took it as a yes. "I will be honest with you, darling, I do not like it for –" before she could proceed on telling her daughter how she would like to lessen the hours of doing her routine so that she could have more time to have fun and relax, tears escaped her daughter's eyes and the sob that accompanied it broke Sophia's heart.
Was this the first time her daughter had reprieved from practising her skills? Was that why she was crying? Or was she feeling ill? She let the back of her hand touched her daughter's forehead, she was warmer than Sophia would like. Instantly, Sophia was flooded with worry. "Dearest, what's wrong?"
Fortunately, her husband and sons were quick to enter the room. She had convinced them that in order not to overwhelm Isabel, she should be the one to ask her about changing her routines. Sophia knew that they didn't really head to the billiard's room and that they stayed by the door, eavesdropping on her conversation with Isabel. As much she found amusement in their actions, she couldn't blame her boys for they were too anxious to hear about Isabel like her.
When Isabel did finally speak, it was the last thing she expected her daughter to say. "I apologise that my routine has displeased you. Please do not blame my guardians for they have done all they could to help me. If it is not enough I will try harder. I promise to dedicate more time learning all the accomplishments so I could be more ladylike and worthy as part of your family."
From behind her, Sophia could hear her son mutter the words 'accomplishments', 'ladylike', and 'worthy' in a mixture of disbelief and confusion. She turned to her husband, who was sitting on the other side of their daughter, but he was just as lost as any of them.
"Sweeting," she began softly, taking hold of her daughter's hands, "What are you talking about? You are our daughter. You do not need to do anything to prove your worth to us. And what is this about being ladylike and learning accomplishments? Whatever gave you the idea that we do not want you?"
Isabel sniffed and wiped her tears before looking up at her. "When I was playing the pianoforte I saw you frown when I missed some of the notes. Then, I went riding with Alexander and Anthony it was obvious that they do not like me riding astride. Even father disproved of me climbing trees."
She swallowed and dabbed her handkerchief at the fresh tears that escaped her eyes. "When I realised this, I began practising my accomplishments. That way, I'll be worthy of being your daughter and I wouldn't have to see the severe look on your faces whenever I do something unladylike. My guardians had always let me do what I want in Hertfordshire so please do not blame it on them. I was the one who wasn't behaving –"
"Nonsense!" Sophia interrupted, not wanting to hear more about her daughter saying such things about herself. She then adjusted her seat to move closer to her daughter before pulling her into a hug. "I am very sorry that you thought this way, my darling, but trust me when I say that we all like you for who you are. You are already accomplished. When I planned this talk with you, I was going to suggest lessening your time in doing your activities because I can see that you are not enjoying it. I just assumed that your guardians were the ones to give you a routine. It never occurred to me that we are the reason why you are behaving like that."
"Besides," her husband began, once she and Isabel pulled apart, "If you think you are unladylike, then so is your mother. Do you know that the two of us taught your brothers how to ride astride on their horses? As for climbing trees, try to challenge your mother. Even though she is not as young as she used to be, I daresay she will still be up for the challenge. In fact, between the two of you, your mother is more unladylike. You should have seen her petticoats the day I proposed to her – six inches deep in mud!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that father. My Abigail would often remind me to avoid walking after raining but every time I would return home with my hem also deep in mad."
"You truly are your mother's daughter, then."
Seeing her daughter's first genuine smile that day, Sophia couldn't help but smile as well. She glanced behind her to see her sons mirroring her expression as well. And she turned to her husband, he was now embracing their daughter and he gave her a smile through his glassy eyes. Their family was still far from perfect but they were on their way to mending it.
I am trying to make it as smooth as I can from now on but Lizzy and her family are still only beginning their relationship. They do not know each other very well yet (Lizzy had only been with them for about two weeks now) so they are bound to misunderstand each other's actions. I mean, we even misread the actions of people we know for a long time, sometimes. However, as you can see, I resolved them in the same chapter.
There will be a continuation of the last scene in the next chapter. I couldn't fit it in this chapter since it's 7000 words already and that was my limit.
Also, Lizzy and Darcy will be reunited soon. I'm just tying up knots with their families first.
If I was able to finish the next chapters quickly, I might be able to update twice this week. And to be honest, I wanted to do that so that we'll get to celebrate Christmas with them. Hopefully, I'll be able to do it.
Take care, stay safe and Happy Holidays!
