Hello again! I'm back with some more angst because who doesn't love some good angst with a happy ending, right?

As always, warnings are in the tags. If you feel there's something I missed that I should tag or warn in this chapter, tell me!

Enjoy the chapter!


After realizing his feelings for Roy, Ed tries. He doesn't actively think of his feelings, nor does he try to make Roy aware of them. But he doesn't deny them, and when things happen between them, Ed doesn't stop them. If he's trapped in this hell of his own creation, then at least he can find some peace when he's with Roy.

He makes a mistake during loop three hundred and two. He knows he's being watched, knows he's being investigated. He's gotten too close to the truth the last few loops, the Homunculi are noticing something is amiss earlier each time. He knows everything he does can be used as blackmail later.

So he doesn't let Al use the abilities the Gate gave him. He makes sure Winry is surrounded with trustworthy people in Rush Valley, he doesn't visit her too often. He tells Granny to hide, to not leave Resembool no matter what happens.

Somehow, Ed forgets Roy can make very good leverage.

They threaten him, demand his compliance and his silence in exchange for Roy's safety. Foolishly, Ed thinks that if he goes along with it, he'll be able to buy enough time to turn it around.

A day before the Promised Day, Solf J. Kimblee shows up in the camp he's been hiding at for the last few months. He's got Roy with him, oblivious as to why he's here but forced to follow orders.

Ed doesn't even have time to yell out a warning before Kimblee uses his Philosophers' stone and blows him up. After that, everything is red, red red red red, it's raining red, it smells red, it looks red, if feels red against his skin, and Ed's yelling, his throat is raw and his chest hurts, he can't breath, and the only thing he can think is that he's going to tear everything to pieces.

Kimblee doesn't stand a chance. Ed's heart doesn't either, and for the first time, the wound that kills him is self inflicted.

After that, Ed doesn't approach Roy again.


A week after the incident in Lab 3, Ed requests some time off. Officially, it is so he can have his automail checked over. Unofficially, he's off to go and meet Hohenheim in Resembool, see if he can punch him in the face. That never gets old no matter how many times he's done it.

Also, Ed supposes it would be beneficial if they met around this time instead of having to wait until literally a day before the Promised Day. That would be quite unfortunate, as much as Ed dislikes the bastard.

Roy is still in the hospital, but that doesn't mean he's out of commission. Ed still has to report to the man, and so he's the one he goes to when he has to file out his request for personal time off.

It's the first time he and Roy have talked since the whole shit show and Ed's inevitable breakdown. Roy examines the form Ed has given him, raises an eyebrow, then signs it.

"You can go," he gestures. "I expect you back in a week, and then we'll discuss your next assignment," Ed nods, noticing Havoc is asleep in the bed next to Roy's. When he glances back at the man, Ed can't help but take a good look at him.

Roy looks good, all things considered. The worst wound was his side, obviously, but that's healing nicely. He's not supposed to do any sudden moves, but knowing how he is, and given the pain medication dosis he's on right now, he must not be abiding by that, the idiot.

"It's something the matter, Fullmetal?" Fullmetal… he called him Edward that night, didn't he?

Ed shakes his head to clear his thoughts.

"No. Just thinking of how dirty you look," Roy's eyes narrow. "When was the last time you took a shower, bastard? You smell," Ed leaves quickly, forcing out a cackle as he hears Roy's curses behind him.

He finds Hohenheim in the cemetery back at Resembool. He looks all tall and mighty, and even tries to lecture him about performing human transmutation, the bastard. If he knew just how many times Ed's seen the Gate.

Heh.

"My house… why did you burn it down?" he doesn't look mad, really, just confused. Ed guesses one loses most of the rage once enough years have passed. He certainly feels that way about Hohenheim, even if he will never admit it.

It's hard to stay mad at someone when you've seen them die for you so many times.

"We didn't want a place to go back to if things got hard. If you don't have a place to call home, then you can only go forward," Ed looks at the hill where his house once stood. Other than most of Hohenheim's books and a few photos, there's nothing Ed and Al took with them. It's all back in Central now, in their dorm.

"No you didn't," Hohenheim turns to look at him. "You just wanted to escape the memories. You wanted to erase the traces of what you've committed."

Ed tenses.

"So what if I did? You wanted me to let Al see it? That thing?" Hohenheim looks surprised at that, even though he shouldn't. Even before he left, Ed was really protective of his little brother. "No. I've made peace with what we did a long time ago. Now I'm trying to fix it."

Ed turns around, tired of the conversation. It's always like this, with Hohenheim. He knows Ed too little, and is haunted far too much by his past.

"Edward," Ed turns a little, not facing him completely but letting him know he's listening. "Are you sure that what you transmuted was Trisha?" Ed snorts.

"I know it wasn't," Ed rolls his eyes, looking away.

"How?"

"Who do you think buried the thing?" Ed smiles bitterly. "It had black hair."

(Ed remembers. He remembers every time he's gone back to the house using crutches, taking advantage of Al's distraction to leave the Rockbells' house alone.

He remembers how he has searched the mass of horror they created, how the nausea hits him when his hands touch the gooey texture, just to make sure each time that he hasn't killed his mom again.

He remembers digging a hole next to the house with alchemy, tying some rope around the disfigured body, and dragging it through the floor - it always leaves blood and brain matter scattered in its wake - and the ground before shoving it inside and filling it again before Al can see it.)

"Be careful," Ed says once Hohenheim remains silent. "The shadows are watching," then, he leaves.

(Later, when he's laying in his bed at Pinako's house, he hears his father come in.

If he's a tad bit disappointed he didn't say anything, then only Ed has to know.)

Soon, Ed's on his way back to Central. Al must be worried about him, since Ed did leave without telling him. Ups.

He finds Al and Winry in their dorm, along with Ling and Lang Fan, who're eating them out of house apparently. He promptly banishes them from his dorm (they can be so annoying, sheesh) and gets to talk with his little brother.

What follows is a conversation Ed had hoped he wouldn't have to have in this loop. But since Al talked quite a bit with Barry, Ed guesses he doesn't have a choice in the matter.

"Al, do you remember how I told you we didn't bring back mom when he did human transmutation?" he asks, and Al nods, uncertain. "And do you remember how I told you that I could bring you back your body?"

"Yes, Brother, I remember. What's this about?"

"I found Hohenheim in Resembool," Al and Winry gasp. Understandable, since the bastard's been MIA for like a decade. "We talked. I realized there's something I haven't told you."

It's a bit complicated, having to explain the difference between being dead and being trapped on the other side of the Gate. Conceptualizing how Ed's body acts as a conduit to Al's own, giving him nutrients and basically making it grow even from the other side of the Gate, isn't easy either. But given that Al remembers his own passing by the place, it's not that difficult to explain, and the both of them help Winry keep up.

"So, we just have to pull my body out, just like you did with my soul!" Ed nods, smiling indulgently at his little brother. He knows it won't come to that. His deal with Truth ensures him his brother's body after it's all over. But Al needs the reassurance, so Ed will give it to him.

"Exactly," Al cheers, and Winry hugs his armor. "Though, there's one other thing I want to talk to you about," his brother turns to look at him. "When you said you remembered the Gate. Can you do alchemy without arrays now?" Ed knows it's risky, asking so openly. But this is his own door room, if he can't talk here, he can't talk anywhere. Besides, Pride mostly follows him when he does unexpected things. He's got other people to follow as well, and most of the time Ed and Al talk about alchemical research, which is of no interest for the homunculus.

"Yes, I did it when we fought Lust," Ed feels his heart stop beating for a moment.

No. No nononononono. They weren't supposed to know, they weren't supposed to know. He's been so careful, making sure Al remembers nothing, and now…

Pride follows him when he does unexpected things. There's no way he doesn't know.

"Shit," he whispers as he rests his head on his hands.

"Brother? What's wrong?" Ed hears the shift of Al's armor as he turns to look closer at Ed. His voice is worried. "I thought you'd be happy I can do alchemy like you now!"

And a part of him is. Ed is incredibly proud of Al, marvels at his little brother all the time. He's wicked smart, and unlike Ed, he also knows how to talk to people. A part of him is happy that Al can do many new things with his alchemy now.

But none of it matters if it puts a target on his back.

"I am, Al," he says, finally. "But there have been dangerous people watching me for a long time because of I can do. Lust said… she said she wouldn't kill me yet since there were plans for me. I don't want them to know you can help them too."

Ed looks at his brother. For someone trapped inside a metallic suit of armor, Al has always been very good at bodily expressing himself. He looks troubled, concerned.

"It was only Lieutenant Hawkeye there, and Lust. And she's dead now. It's okay, Brother," Al tries to reassure him. Ed shakes his head with a sad smile.

"No, it's… it's not. They know now, I'm sure. The shadows have eyes Al. They have ears," he looks meaningfully at his brother. After a moment, Al's breath catches as he realizes it.

"Do you mean—" Ed nods, tired. "How do you know that?"

And Ed really doesn't know how to answer that, so he doesn't say anything at all. His brother and Winry leave him be, disappointed.

Ed wonders when that will turn into distrust.


Ed spends the loops three hundred and three through three hundred and ten out of the military. He hasn't tried it since loop eighty six, once it proved to be useless both in terms of information gathering (one would be surprised with the amount of stuff they let kids know if they have a State Alchemist watch) and staying out of the Homunculi's radar. It's simply more effective if Ed has all the resources the military can give him at his disposal.

After loop three hundred and two though, Ed decides it's best if he stays away for the time being. At least this way he can try and avoid another drunken loop.

Ed stays out of East City the first few years. Once Roy Mustang is moved to Central City, Ed doesn't place another step there until the Promised Day arrives and he's summoned by Father.

It's quite fortunate he dies in all of those loops before Roy can talk to him. Ed wouldn't have been able to explain why he started crying each time he saw him.


They go visit Roy the next day. He and Havoc are still in the hospital, though Roy should be leaving for home soon enough. They find Fuery on their way. Apparently he's back from running some errands for Hawkeye, so the three of them make their way to the room where Roy and Havoc are recuperating in.

Apparently, Ed's years of planning are starting to pay off. It seems like Hawkeye has read his reports, and that, alongside their impromptu trip to the Homunculi's base, has left her with enough curiosity to see where the place is, in relation to Central.

She truly is a spectacular woman.

"Wait, so you're saying the Homunculi's base could be under Central Command?" Al gasps, and Roy nods, looking grave. Ed points at another one of the buildings in the circle Fuery drew.

"And close to the Fuhrer's house," he says as he looks directly into Roy's eyes.

"But then why would he go and kill Greed? If they're working on the same side," Havoc asks, frowning.

"Maybe they aren't," Ed suggests, knowing full well it's the truth. "Greed didn't seem to want the same as Lust and Gluttony. He told me a lot of things. He also tried to kill me, for that matter. The others haven't done any of that. They've only said I'm more useful to them alive."

"Either way, the Homunculi have infiltrated high enough in the military, given all the military personnel that always surrounds the area. From now on, we should be careful in how we confront them," everyone else in the room nods at Roy's words. Oh, so when Ed tells them to be careful multiple times, no one listens to him, but when Roy says it, everyone is okay with it. Fantastic. "Fullmetal," Ed's eyes snap back to look at Roy. He called him Fullmetal again. "Watch yourself."

Ed scoffs. "That's what I've been telling you all this time, bastard," he turns to leave, waving as a form of goodbye with Al trailing behind him.

"And don't forget you owe me a chat, Fullmetal!" Ed listens Roy call out as he starts walking down the hallway.

Fullmetal…

He's not sure why, but now that Ed has heard this Roy call him Edward, it feels too much like burning when he uses Fullmetal instead.


Ed has wondered, from time to time, what is it that makes Roy so special. That out of all the people Ed has met, it's Roy that stands out, that follows him like a living ghost in every new loop he starts.

He doesn't know if it's his charisma, or his sense of humor, or his looks. He doesn't know if it's because he can rile him up no matter how many times they've argued about the same things, or because of how caring he is. He doesn't know if it's because of the raw power he holds, of how he wields it like it's easy. He doesn't know if it's because he's selfless enough to try and make the world a better place instead of only keeping his people safe, or because he's broken, just like Ed is.

Ed's not sure. He just knows that, at some point, he stopped being his annoying commanding officer, and started meaning something more like home.


"Would you believe me if I told you I'm stuck in a time loop?" Ed asks quietly. He and Roy are sitting in the man's new living room in his house at Central. It's been two days since he was released from the hospital, and Roy finally managed to trap him long enough to force this conversation out of him. There's a fire going in the fireplace, and they each have their own mug of steaming hot chocolate. Ed's hands tremble as he reaches for his.

Roy doesn't say anything. Instead, he observes him. Ed lets himself be scrutinized, lets Roy's eyes burn a trail across his body (it reminds him of other times, other lives when he did it with another purpose).

"The first time, I mean the original time… everyone died. And I made a deal with Truth," Ed swallows dry. Roy still doesn't say anything. "In exchange for Al's body, I would be able to restart time from a certain point in my life after I die, until I managed to defeat the Homunculi. I've restarted time three hundred and fifty one times now, starting from the point where I first did human transmutation, the earliest Truth is able to connect me to the Gate."

Roy lets out a breath.

"You're being serious," he finally says. Ed nods warily. "You're telling me you've actually lived the last years of your life more than three hundred fifty times?"

"Yes."

"But— how? How do we always fail so badly that you have to go back?" Ed breathes out a small sigh of relief. Roy seems to believe him, at least.

"For starters, we knew shit for the first fifty loops or so. It took me ages to find out what a homunculus was, let alone how they could regenerate. Most of the information you know now? I've planted it for you to find," Ed huffs with a small smile. "The thing we're facing is much more clever than any of you seem to give it credit for. If I didn't know where to look, and had multiple times to search for different things, we wouldn't know we're being attacked until the Promised Day hit us in the face."

"The Promised Day?" Roy cocks his head to the side, looking unfairly adorable.

"It's a day with an eclipse, a bit over a year away. It's when Father, that's the actual leader of the Homunculi by the way, plans to kill all of Amestris to create a Philosophers' stone strong enough to absorb Truth," Ed gives him the short answer.

"What?" ah shit. Ed kind of forgets no one else knows about this, since it never comes up in conversation.

Oh well.

Ed spends the next few hours explaining everything he knows to Roy, about the Homunculi, about Father and what it actually is, about the sacrifices and why they're all being monitored and spared, the coup, the military's involvement, and basically everything else he can think of.

"So that's how you knew Hughes was in danger," Ed only nods. "And all those warnings…?"

"Yeah, I know all that shit because I've lived it before."

"Alright, I think I understand," Roy says finally. Ed is glad, because if he has to explain the nationwide array for a fourth time he'll start to lose it. "What I don't get is why you got so emotional because of my death. Or what you thought was my death, technically speaking."

"Ah, that," Ed coughs, feeling awkward all of a sudden. He'd been dreading this question. "So… I may have developed feelings for you at some point. And you may have returned them on some loops," and you may have been killed in most of them.

"Oh," yeah, oh. There's not much else one can say after hearing that. "That's…"

"You don't have to say anything," Ed rushes to say. "You don't have to return my feelings either. I understand things are different every loop, since I always change shit, so if you don't feel the same that's fine," better than fine, even. At least he wouldn't get targeted for being close to Ed this time.

Roy looks… Ed guesses the best word for it is conflicted. He can't blame the man, Ed did just spring that on him. Ed would react pretty much the same were he in Roy's situation. Maybe. He would probably be a bit more loud about it.

"Look, how about we forget I said anything, and we move on with our lives?" Ed doesn't let Roy say anything before continuing. "Now that you know I can tell you when shit is coming, though I expect that when I tell you to stop digging into something, you'll do it and ask me instead because I like my friends alive, thank you."

"I'm sorry," Roy's words are soft. It makes Ed a bit uncomfortable, because it feels as if he's apologizing for more than ignoring Ed's subtle (and not-so-subtle) warnings.

"It's okay, you didn't know. Just… be more careful from now on," Ed tries to smile, and he thinks he succeeds.

It still feels like there's a gaping hole in his chest when he leaves later in the evening. Roy smiles at him from the doorway, waving lightly with a promise to see each other at work the next day.

To Ed it feels more like a goodbye.

It's not like Ed goes out of his way to avoid Roy after that whole fiasco. They just genuinely don't cross paths that often.

So maybe he does most of his work in his and Al's new dorm instead of at his desk in the office. So maybe he makes sure Roy isn't coming when the Hughes invite them to dinner. So maybe he conveniently finds Hawkeye in the hallways and gives her his reports so she can give them to Roy instead.

Ed's not avoiding anyone. Certainly not Roy Mustang.

Besides, it's not like he doesn't have more important things to take care of. He's got traps to plan, clues to place, diversions to make. If he wants to lure out the Homunculi, then he has to bring his A-game.

Still, some things can't be avoided. In the end, Ed is called in to the office one day. The poor Sargeant sent to fetch him didn't know what for, but Ed has an idea. He's right, because the first thing Roy asks once Ed has closed the door behind him, is if he knows how to heal Havoc's injury. The man doesn't even bother with using code, though Ed guesses it's a normal question to ask an alchemist with a range as wide as Ed's, so he doesn't hound him over it.

"I know a lot of shit, but I don't know much about medical alchemy. I guess a Philosophers' stone could do it, but getting a real one is near impossible if you have any semblance of morals, and then you would need to have an alchemist with enough medical knowledge to treat that type of injury," Ed thinks for a while. "The only one I could think of right now that would be able to do it would be Dr. Marcoh. I can tell you where I last saw him, see if he can help."

"That would be great, thank you," Roy says, obviously grateful. He's always cared a great deal for his subordinates, and Ed doesn't doubt he'll have all of them follow him to the top once Ed manages a good future. Ed nods and writes down the address. He then immediately goes for the door without waiting to be dismissed. "Oh, and Edward," Edward, not Fullmetal. He called him Edward again. "Stop avoiding me."

"I'm not," he replies automatically. His shoulders are tense, and he doesn't turn around to look at his superior. "You're imagining shit. Going senile in your old age, perhaps?"

Ed leaves the office before Roy can answer, and he admits he all but runs over poor Fuery in his haste.

It's fine. Ed's not avoiding Roy Mustang.

(He is.)


Scar is someone Ed has very mixed feelings about. The man has helped him try to bring down Father in multiple time loops. He has also killed many of his friends in others. In either case, Ed can't help the part of himself that relates to him.

The need to destroy his enemies. The urge to rip them all to shreds for what they've done to his people.

Ed understands only too well how violence can break or make a man.


Ed knows his plan looks like madness. He knows Roy wouldn't approve in a thousand years.

Ed also really doesn't care.

Now that the Homunculi know they are aware of their plans, it's time for Ed to finish putting all the pieces in place. He needs to draw them out, make them careless, expose them. It's only downhill from here, and Ed needs to make sure there's not a guillotine waiting for them all at the bottom.

He's a sacrifice. He's needed alive. And now that they know about Al, so is he. On the upside, he and Al are two of the most well protected people in all of Amestris, which Ed plans to take advantage of. If he puts himself in danger, then someone will have to intervene. And from there, it's only a matter of letting the right people see.

Roy would be of help with that. Now that he knows, Ed could theoretically let him in with the plan. Truth knows he needs all the help he can get, and Roy's always been better at planning than he is.

But Roy isn't a sacrifice. He's a candidate, sure, and a good one. But he's still expendable if, at the end of the day, he's more trouble than he's worth. Ed can't risk it, not when he's planning on facing the only creatures in Amestris that can kill him. Not when he's entirely made of flesh and bone, not when he doesn't have limbs to spare.

Besides, it's not like he won't find out. Ed's merely keeping him out of the line of fire for a moment. The less dangerous he seems to the Homunculi, the more they'll leave him alone. Roy is only of use if he doesn't thwart their plans before the Promised Day, after all, and they won't hesitate to cut him off for good if he poses a threat to them.

Sacrifices are hard to come by. Human transmutation is always different since there aren't any specific arrays, and the most one could find is basic formulas to get started. Ed and Al found them in one of Hohenheim's books, but the array is their own invention, with their own calculations and research. Most alchemists aren't smart enough to pull it off, let alone strong enough to actually make it back from the inevitable trip to the Gate. There are currently only four known, and they are all connected one way or another. Ed doesn't think it's a coincidence that he and Al are so powerful, knowing who Hohenheim is. The man is a genius, and he passed that, alongside his alchemical prowess, to his children. And Teacher taught them everything they know about control, and she's one of the best alchemists Ed knows. He's not surprised she made the trip back.

But candidates are a lot easier to obtain. They are just backups, possible choices for when the time comes and the Homunculi haven't obtained the five already. The military is the best place for them to get them, definitely why the State Alchemist program got started in the first place. That also means they're disposable.

Right now, the Homunculi only need one candidate. Two, if they haven't figured out Teacher, but Ed doubts it. And while Ed knows Roy is their first choice, and the one they plan on using, he also knows his protection isn't assured. Until the very moment he is forced to open the Gate, Ed has no way of knowing if they'll keep him alive to be a sacrifice or if they'll get rid of him and choose someone else.

Ed doesn't like that Roy is on their radar. He hates it, actually. But there's nothing he can do about it, since it's been like that since way before Ed starts his loops, so he has to work around it.

Besides, he's always been more the type to ask forgiveness afterwards, instead of permission. Or something.

No matter, Roy will find out eventually. It's not like Ed can hide a fight with Scar and possibly a few Homunculi across the city.

Al is, understandably, reluctant to the idea. But when Ling and his entourage join their team (seriously, what is it with them and listening in to private conversations?) he caves in.

Ed really isn't expecting Roy to find them before the fight has even started.

Sure, the man left the hospital because he hates them, but he's still supposed to be on light duty as per Hawkeyes' orders. That means sitting in front of his desk all day and then going straight home. So what is he doing in the back of his car in the middle of the day, with Hawkeye herself at the wheel?

Dammit. This man knows him too well, even if he's had a fraction of the time Ed has had to figure him out.

"This isn't like you, Fullmetal," Roy raises an eyebrow. Ed scoffs.

"Are you sure you should be out right now? You're still supposed to be resting," Ed deflects. Roy doesn't fall for it, the bastard, and beckons him closer. "Have you had any news on Dr. Marcoh?"

Roy makes a sign for him to stop. "Wait, we're drawing too much attention. Get in," it turns out that having a huge suit of armor in the backseat is quite uncomfortable, so in the end they all leave the car and go into an alleyway, of all places.

Sure, go into the place with more shadows in the goddam street, it's not like Ed told Roy to watch what he said in the shadows or anything.

Well, it's not like the information he tells Ed is anything Pride shouldn't know they are aware of. Though knowing Dr. Marcoh has already been captured leaves a bitter taste in Ed's mouth.

"By the way, Fullmetal," Roy starts, idly, and Ed fears for his life a bit. "You heard about Scar, right? What's with your behavior, all but begging him to find you?" Ed stubbornly keeps quiet. "Are you— seriously?! Did you forget what happened in East City?! Honestly, Edward, I know you're a genius but sometimes you make me doubt it!"

Alright, no need to make it hurt.

"Are you still salty about how useless you were last time? Mm, is that it?" Ed mocks him with a devious grin. Roy's eye ticks. Heh, it's really easy to aggravate him, sometimes.

"If I remember correctly, you weren't much better, were you? Little Edward with his little arm torn to pieces," Roy inches closer to him as he talks, until they're all but breathing on each other's faces. Even this riled up, Ed notices the butterfly-like feeling in his stomach.

"Who're you calling so short he can't be seen without a microscope, you bastard?!" Ed yells, righteously outraged. Roy, that motherfucker, has the gal to cackle.

Ed will commit a murder.

"Edward," both he and Roy stop and look over to Hawkeye, who has a strange glint in her eyes. "Do be careful, please," Ed waves her off with his hand and a small smile.

"Relax, nothing will happen," nothing Ed hasn't accounted for, at least.

Except things kind of do happen. Ups. In his defense, he wasn't expecting Wrath to show up. He keeps to the sidelines, most of the time - the only reason Ed didn't sus him out until twenty four loops ago, the slippery bastard - so it's really not Ed's fault that the fucker decided to make an appearance today of all days.

Oh well. At least now he has an excuse to warn everyone about him. It would be really unfortunate if all of this was for nothing.

Lan Fan is a limb short, but she'll live - it's been too many timelines since she last made it out of this with her life - and Scar escaped, but he's with May Chang so it should be fine. They always find a way to meet again, and she's looking for immortality too, so their paths will cross.

Also, he kind of needs him alive, so it actually plays in his favor that he escaped. He has a feeling people wouldn't listen to him if he told them to spare the serial killer.

The only thing that bothers him is the sudden interest Wrath seems to take on Winry. Ed knows a lot about using hostages to make people compliant. And it looks like Winry has caught Wrath's eye despite Ed's security measures..

Dammit.

At least she's going back to Rush Valley, so Ed won't have to worry about her there. She'll be protected by the people, so as long as Ed doesn't do anything stupid to make her come back to Central, it should be fine.

(Please, let things be fine.)

Things still lead to a house in the outskirts of the city. It's really unfortunate that it's Gluttony out of all the Homunculi the one they manage to capture, especially when Roy is right in front of him. Gluttony has always loved Lust. In fact, from what Ed knows, she's his favorite, and he would do anything for her. And since Roy killed her…

Well.

What follows is an escape rather than a fight. Gluttony is out to get Roy - red splattered all over, all Ed is holding is a dead body with Roy's face - and in his anger, he's willing to eat anything and anyone in the process. Even Al and Ed himself, which… might have been a miscalculation on his part.

Either way, Gluttony is after Roy, and Ed…

He can't let that happen. Roy is injured, and he's powerless against Gluttony's Gate imitation. It's Ed's fault they're in this situation to begin with, and even if Roy shouldn't have been in the crossfire at all, he is now, and Ed will be damned if he doesn't make this right.

Or die trying, anyways. Definitely wouldn't be a first.

Somehow, they get Roy and Lan Fan to the car. They are reluctant to leave at first, which Ed guesses he can understand, but he really doesn't have time for their sense of duty or whatever it is.

"Stop being stubborn and go, you bastard!" the fucker has the audacity to scoff at him as he sends him a glare. Ed glares back. "Who's gonna handle the whole the-head-of-the-military-is-a-Homunculus thing if not you, huh? We don't need you here, go do your own damn job!" Roy's eyes widen, surprised. He really shouldn't be.

After a moment of hesitation, he nods, shoulders dropping if only so slightly. He looks defeated, which Ed doesn't like, because a defeated Roy is a Roy that has all but given up on living, but Ed doesn't know how else to get him out of here safe.

Hawkeye eyes him, then gives him her gun. It's loaded.

"You know how to use it, right?" she asks, and Ed swallows. He blinks, and for a moment he's seeing himself pull the trigger, over and over and over and over and over for all the times he's used one. He blinks again and he's in front of Hawkeye again.

Instead of saying any of that, he nods.

"That's… that's used to kill people," Al's voice shakes slightly. It hurts Ed how his little brother is losing his innocence, how he's only fourteen and has already witnessed just how horrible humans can be.

"It's something to protect yourselves with," Hawkeye argues. With time, Ed has learned a lot about her and her reasoning. He knows that for her, guns are the equivalent to Ed's alchemy. Is a part of who she is now, a shield and a spear all in one.

Ed grabs the gun.

"I'll keep it with me," he promises. Then, he tucks the gun on his waistband.

Doctor Knox drives away with them and Hawkeye, the only person Ed would trust with Roy more than he would trust himself (kind of hard not to, when all he's done is get him killed). Ed feels weak when relief hits him as he watches the car leave.

Roy is safe. He's safe.

Now Ed can turn to the problem at hand.

That on itself is a lot harder than it looks like. Gluttony is usually very passive, more of a follower rather than a leader. His hunger overrides him most of the time, so he just goes about doing what he's told. But when he's angry, like right now, he's just short of unreasonable. Only another Homunculi could stop him, which is where Ed guesses Envy comes in.

The bastard has been observing the whole thing, Ed is sure. Envy isn't a fighter, never has been. They are all about disguises and deceiving, webbing tales and lies around people until no one knows what's true and what's not. Direct confrontation? Not one of their fortes.

Which Ed is sort of glad of, really. Al least he convinces Gluttony not to eat neither Roy, nor Al or himself, which is always a good thing. At least he knows that the Homunculi still consider Roy a favorable candidate, if Envy is telling him not to eat Roy even after killing Lust.

The bad thing is that Ling does not fall under that category. Which means he's fair game, in Envy's eyes.

Looks like Ed will have to get creative.

Since the Homunculi can't harm either Ed nor Al, Gluttony won't eat them. And Ling might not be capable of fending Gluttony, but he should be good with Envy, who's sneaky and packs a good punch because of his body mass but hates confrontation because he's bad at it and hates pain.

In the end though, because Ed's life is ruled by the principle 'if something can go wrong, it will go wrong', he, alongside Ling and fucking Envy, end up trapped inside Gluttony's stomach. It's not a first for Ed, but this hasn't happened in a long time, and he's always alone when it happens. He's also never made it out before.

But he has Ling with him now. He can't let him rot away inside Gluttony's stomach, not when he has a Clan to save, a country to lead. Not when he's given so much for a cause that isn't even his.

He also can't leave Al. Al, who Ed promised would get his body back, so he can finally live his life fully. Al, who just watched as his brother got eaten right in front of him. Truth, what a shit show. He'll have to apologize once he gets back.

Eventually, after a round of boot stew - that surprisingly tastes better than it sounds - and a fight with Envy in his dragonish form - full of bodies, full of people, Ed wants to help them but how does he free the souls in a Philosophers' stone? - Ed opens the Gate.

After so many times in there, the infinite white space of the Gate is a familiar thing. But this is the first time he's been faced by two Gates.

"Huh? What's going on?" he murmurs, looking around for Truth. "Bastard didn't even come say hello?" Ed turns around, and then he sees it.

It's a naked body. It's facing the door least close from Ed, so he can only see the long, unkempt golden hair falling on its back and its stunted form.

Even then, Ed knows. It's…

It's Al's.

Ed's running before he realizes. As the Gate starts to pull him in, he fights.

"Al! Al! Hurry, come here! Al!" he yells, but Al doesn't move. Why doesn't Al move?

"I can't," and that's his little brother's voice. That's Al's voice, coming from his own body instead of an empty armor. "You aren't my soul. I can't go with you," Ed feels his eyes water.

The Gate closes in front of him, and the last thing Ed sees is his brother's body looking at him with those gold eyes full of sadness. He can't stand it.

"Alphonse!" he yells his throat raw as he forces the Gate to open again. His brother looks up, surprised. "Alphonse! Someday, I swear, I'll come back for you!" once he finishes his mission. Once he can give Al a world worth living in. He'll get Al his body back.

He swears it.

That's the only thing he can say before the Gate swallows him back up.

It spits him right back to another space of familiar white. The being that grins at him creepily a few feet away also is, much to Ed's chagrin.

"Yo, Mister Al-che-mist," Truth waves cheerfully. Ed has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. It's been how long since they've known each other? Truth knows his name is Edward. "Back already? Was last time not enough to satisfy you?"

Is Truth talking about their game of poker before Ed went through the Gate? Because Ed does not appreciate it. It's really unfair when one's opponent is an omniscient being, and Ed will stand by his words that if Truth were a regular person, it would have lost pathetically.

The thing about Truth is, that after a little while the bastard kind of grows on you. It doesn't matter that it pulls shit like it just did with Al's body (though they will be having words about that at a later date), when Ed only has it to vent after a bad loop, or to voice out ideas on how to not fuck things up, it's kind of inevitable that he comes to see Truth as a kind of… friend.

Ugh.

It's a symbiotic relationship. Ed needs someone that will listen to him, and Truth appreciates the company. It hasn't said anything to Ed, in all the loops they've gone through, but he can tell. Truth gets real excited once he comes to go back in time, or when he opens the Gate like he did just now (as much as a being like Truth can get excited about anything, anyways). Ed wonders sometimes, just how often did people end up in its realm before Ed started time-looping, and how many will do once he accomplishes his mission.

If he ever does.

"I'm not here for that, as you obviously know," Ed says, annoyed. "Just take the damn stone and let us through, alright? It should be more than enough payment."

Truth hums, sounding oddly disappointed, the piece of shit, and then sighs.

"Alright, have it your way. The stone is enough for your and your companions' passage, so go ahead," it waves him off, like Ed's a waste of its time. It truly wants Ed to punch it with his metal arm, huh?

A matter for another day.

He feels as he's deconstructed again - it's been far too many times in a really short amount of time, it's getting tiresome - and moments later he's being spitted back out from Gluttony's stomach alongside Ling and Envy. Everyone's got all their limbs (ha) intact, so Ed will count it as a win.

That he is in Father's lair, and that Al is there as well, is not.

Al gasps when he sees him, and then he's hugging Ed hard enough to crush someone.

"Brother!" he sobs, and it's like a knife to Ed's heart. "Brother, you're alive…"

Ed sighs, an indulgent smile forming on his face. "Yeah. Sorry to worry you like that," he rests his hand on Al's helmet. His brother looks up. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine Brother," Al's voice still shakes a little, but he sounds better now that he knows Ed is well. "I'm sorry I couldn't—"

"You're safe. That's all that matters," Ed promises. He looks around then. It's dark, understandably given that they are underground. Besides Gluttony and Envy, he doesn't see any other Homunculi, so he guesses Gluttony was the one to bring Al here (Ed never thought he would need to give his little brother the talk about not following strangers, but it seems like he will). He's looking at where Father's throne is at when the thing itself emerges from the shadows, that dramatic bastard.

"This is a surprise, people coming out of his belly," Father sounds pensive. Ed snarls.

Father looks strikingly like Hohenheim. If it weren't for the discoloration of his hair and skin, and that indifferent glint in his eyes, Ed would swear this is his own father in front of him. But Ed knows better. He puts himself in between Al and Father, no matter how useless it would be if Father actually wanted to fight.

"A steel arm and a leg… armor…" he moves as fast as lightning, and he's examining Ed up close in a moment. Ed reels back. "Are you the Elric brothers?"

"You're not… Hohenheim?" Al asks cautiously. Ed doesn't blame him. Al last saw Hohenheim when he was about three years old, and the resemblance is remarkable.

"Hohenheim… where have I've hea— are you talking about Van Hohenheim?" Father asks, and they both nod. "What is your connection to him?"

"He's our father," Ed answers coolly. Father looks at him for a moment, and then his arms reach to grab his face before he can move away.

"Father? That's a surprise! He went and had children?" Father asks as he examines Ed's face, which Ed doesn't appreciate, thank you very much. He also doesn't appreciate the patronizing laugh and the pat on his head. If it weren't for Al in front of him, Ed would knock the daylights out if this fucker.

Before Ed can change his mind and beat him regardless, Father, in an incredible breach of privacy, remakes Al's missing hand and heals all of Ed's injuries. He would be grateful, but given that the bastard thinks of them as property, and has no qualms in letting Gluttony eat Ling…

Well.

"Brother, the Homunculi call him Father," Al conspires with him. Ed does the appropriate reactions to appear shocked. "He's the one that created them."

Ling, in a remarkable show of judgement, doesn't like Father. Ed can relate.

After Father goes and blocks their reach to alchemy, there's not much they can do. Ed doesn't feel the flow of life like those who are taught of the Dragon Pulse, but after so many lifetimes, even he can sense the wrongness that settles in the air after the Philosophers' stones block the path to the tectonic plates.

Father grabs Ling and—

"No! Stop it, don't do it! He's got someone waiting for him, don't you fucking dare!" he trashes around under Envy's foot to no avail. Ed can't let Father do this, he can't— the possibilities of Ling surviving that… "Let me go you piece of shit!"

Then he remembers the gun.

Ed grabs it and aims at Envy. There are faces looking back, green goo forming and reforming as they moan in pain.

Once upon a time, back when he was actually young and naive, he wouldn't have shot. He would have hesitated.

Ed doesn't hesitate now.

He shoots one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight times, until the clip is empty. Envy doesn't move. They laugh.

"Brother!" Al sounds concerned, outraged, afraid. Ed doesn't know which one it is anymore.

"It's okay, Ed! Don't worry!" and Ed stops for a second, because Ling Yao did not just say that. "Don't try to pull anything! This is what I want!"

Except he did. And now he's lost to Greed.

This has never happened before. Father has never… this has never happened before.

It's too early to tell, but for Ed it already feels like a defeat.


For the longest time, Ed spends his loops looking for information. They failed in his original timeline because they were severely underprepared, because they knew next to nothing about who they were fighting against.

So Ed looks. He listens. He connects dots and figures out who's aligned with who. He takes different approaches, grows closer to different people, plays different parts, all in an effort to find out as much as he can.

In some loops, that lead him to getting tangled into meetings with Generals and scientists who had no regard for their country. In others it led him to years spent in near inhospitable places like Briggs. It led him, most of the time, to running around Amestris for years, chasing every whisper of beings who could regenerate, or alchemists who didn't abide by the law of equivalent exchange, of people who acted like god.

Some loops, those in which Ed was more fortunate, in which he was smartest, he manages to keep his loved ones safe. Most of the time, by the time Ed's killed he stands alone, all his allies having been murdered one by one in an effort to scare him into compliance.

Either way, Ed looks. He listens. And he learns.


When Ed and Al are directed inside an office by Envy, Ed expects to find Wrath. He does not expect to also find Roy in there.

His first instinct is to panic. Whenever Ed is summoned by the Fuhrer, it's almost always to make him compliant one way or another. It's not the first time they use people Ed loves as leverage, but he has made sure that Roy doesn't get involved in that after loop three hundred and two.

What changed? What did Ed do wrong? Where did he fuck up? How does he get Roy away before they can use him? How does he keep him safe?

Ed wrangles himself under control.

He can't show weakness. It's too bad already that Wrath is confronting him at all, let alone with Al and Roy in the room. He has to stay calm. He cannot let this get away from him.

"Colonel?" he asks, feigning ignorance, though the surprise is genuine. "What happened?"

"A lot has happened," Roy's face is inescrutable, though for Ed it's easy to tell he's upset. "Sergeant Fuery was sent south, Warrant Officer Falman north, and Lieutenant Breda to the west. Lieutenant Hawkeye is now the Fuhrer's personal assistant," and Ed…

Ed sees red.

It's one thing to hold things against him. It's one thing to make him compliant. Unknowingly or not, he signed his name with blood when he struck that deal with Truth. But Roy?

Roy doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the fear and the guilt of being responsible for his close ones' safety.

What did you do? He doesn't ask. What did I tell you about talking to me before doing reckless shit? He doesn't yell. Because Wrath is right there, and Ed can't show weakness right now.

"Have a seat," Wrath doesn't smile. He doesn't ask. Ed hears the order in his words. He takes a seat.

May Chang, who's wasting away inside Al's armor, coughs weakly. Al immediately coughs to cover it up, and Ed thinks of something to say to distract Wrath from it.

"When I was in the hospital that day, you came to visit me. You had us completely fooled," Ed says, a little too out of character for him, who has long since stopped being brash and hotheaded. But the Fuhrer doesn't know him, and that's all Ed needs to fool him.

"Don't go sticking your noses in. Treat the whole military as an enemy. That's what I ordered you to do," Wrath says, unapologetic. "You are important human resources for us. You don't need to know any more thank that," human resources. Sacrifices. That's all Ed and Al and Roy and Teacher and Hohenheim are for these people. "If you just behave yourselves until the time comes, no harm will come to you."

Yeah, right. And then what? It's just waiting to be killed instead of ending their misery right now.

"And when the times comes, what happens to all of the other people, the ones that aren't 'sacrifices'?" he asks sardonically, like they don't all know it means they aren't useful, and thus disposable.

"I told you, you don't need to know anything more, Fullmetal Alchemist," his title sounds like a joke in Wrath's lips.

Another Ed, a younger, more impulsive and righteous one, would have tried to quit. That Ed would have threatened the Fuhrer, and would have paid with his family's safety.

This Ed, an Ed who has been through the worst the world has to offer, who has been shattered and mended only to be torned to pieces again, reacts much more calmly.

Don't let them see weakness. Don't let them control you. Hide your true feelings.

Roy would be proud, Ed thinks, if he knew he's acting with caution.

"Very well," he says as he slumps against his chair. He thinks he surprises all three other members of the conversation. "As long as we don't interfere with your plans, you'll let us go on with our lives, right? And you won't harm anyone close to us?" Wrath nods, evidently pleased, the smug bastard. Then he turns to face Roy.

"And what will you do, Colonel?" Wrath asks, like he thinks Roy has any other answer than compliance.

They all leave the office relatively intact, if one ignores Al's tear in the armor and May's quasy-murder via sword to the brain. Ed let's out a breath of relief as the door closes behind them.

That was a close one. A really close one.

Then, he turns to Roy with his deadliest glare.

Roy notices, of course. He has the decency to wince once he catches sight of him. At least he knows he fucked up. Good.

"I can ex—" the bastard goes to excuse himself like some cheating husband who's been caught, but Ed cuts him off.

"Not now," not here, he means. Roy nods, looking somewhat chastised. Al muffles a laugh, though that may just be May coughing again. Then he remembers something. "Bastard, give me the change you've got in your pocket," he says somewhat urgently.

"What's gotten into you, all of a sudden?" he asks while he digs in his pockets for some coins.

"Just give them to me," Ed insists, and Roy gives them to him with a sigh. He checks the amount. 520 cents.

"Not very much, huh?" he mutters. The corner of his lip lifts a bit when he hears Roy's defensive outrage. "Well whatever. Bye!"

"Huh?!" Roy sounds bewildered, not that Ed can see him from where he's already running to the other end of the corridor.

"Sorry, Colonel, we'll report back later!" Al says even though he probably has no idea why he and Ed are running. This is why Ed loves Al. He may not understand him, but he'll always back him up.

Ed and Al run to the nearest payphone. Ed gets in and hurriedly calls a number he knows by heart now.

Hughes should still be off duty. He's almost recovered, but since the bullet pierced some really important organs, the doctors aren't letting him do anything too straining until he's fully up to working again, so he's been staying at home with his family.

Gracia picks up. Ed goes through the usual pleasantries, if only somewhat poorly, before asking if Hughes is available. Gracia hums an affirmative before calling her husband, and moments later it's Maes Hughes on the phone.

"Ed? Is that you?" he asks. There is some background noise of what sounds like Elysia asking to see Ed, but he can't be sure.

"Yeah, it's me. How you doin' Hughes?" he asks, which prompts a rant about how his week has been and how much time he has been spending with his darling wife and daughter. Ed doesn't know why he expected anything else. "Anyways, I called you because we were right about Florence."

The switch is immediate. Ed knows Roy hasn't updated Hughes on this new development - he most likely has been under surveillance all night - but Hughes takes it in stride. He knows the code, he knows Florence stands for Fuhrer.

"Really? Did she not like Roy then?" Hughes must know Ed wouldn't make a call like this one from Central Command, but it's never too much to be cautious. Is he a part of the Homunculi?, he's asking.

"Nah, she got really angry with him," he is, named after the deadly sin of Wrath. Ed signals to Al, pointing at his own stomach. Al nods and asks May if she's alright. "Talked to some customers about it. Elizabeth may stay in contact with the bastard, but the others sure as hell will stay clear of him after this," they split us up, Roy and I are the only ones still together, though Hawkeye may be able to see us. Ed looks at his brother again, questioning. Al makes a so-so motion. Well then. "Do you mind if Al and I go to visit later? I caught most of it in person, it would be funnier if I tell it to you directly," there's something I have to tell you that I can't risk over the phone and I can't tell you in code.

"Sure, sure. You guys can stay for dinner. I'll even get Roy to come, that way we can make fun of him," he's asking if Roy should hear it too. Oh well, not like he wouldn't have told the bastard anyways.

"That'd be great," Ed allows a smile. "See you later, then?" after an affirmative, Ed says goodbye and hangs up the phone. Then he turns to Al. "We'll be going to have dinner with the Hughes later."

"That sounds awesome," Al cheers. For a moment, all is well.

Then his heart almost leaps out of his Truth-dammed chest when fucking Ling - Greed, it's not Ling anymore Greed took over Ling's gone - suddenly appears resting against the payphone booth.

"It's that kind of relationships that they're going to take advantage of," Greed says like he hasn't scared the crap out of Ed.

"Ling!" he says as a reflex, because it's not Ling but it looks like him, even if the posture's all wrong and the smirk looks plastic in his face.

"I told you, it's Greed," he says easily.

"What do you want?" Ed asks once his heart has calmed down enough. Greed hands him a white piece of fabric.

Not suspicious at all, this man.

"Your pal asked me for something," his pal? Does that mean— Ling?

Ed takes the fabric from Greed. There's a message scribbled with what looks like blood. Ed ignores that in favor of the actual message. It's in Xingese, but Ed's learned a thing or two in all his time, so it's easy to read. 'I obtained the Philosophers' stone'. Hah. Figures.

Figures he wouldn't say anything that actually matters, like the fact that he's possessed by a Homunculi an that that's how he got the stone. Figures he would let Ed explain that bit. Figures.

"It's in Xingese. What does it say?" he asks for appearance's sake. Greed shakes his head.

"Dunno, can't read it. He said to give it to the girl waiting for him," Lan Fan. Ling asked Greed to give this to Ed so he would give it to Lan Fan.

Does that mean Ling is still there, somewhere? Is he not entirely lost to Greed and the Philosophers' stone?

"You're not going to follow after us and kill her, are you?" he asks just to make sure, because Ed has never encountered a Greed that hasn't rebelled against Father, a Greed that doesn't have a bunch of human chimera friends to mellow him out.

"As if I'd do something so petty," Greed waves his worry with a hand. "Besides, I gave no interest in fighting girls," a bit sexist for Ed's tastes, but he won't complain to him about which people not to fight. "I live by the creed of never telling a lie, so don't worry. Well, if you would…" then the bastard leaves, strolling genially on the street.

That's not Ling. Ling would have fought anyone if it meant he could see Lan Fan again.

With a heavy heart, Ed let's Al direct them to Knox's house, where Lan Fan is still in bedrest. They are greeted by the tired doctor, who sighs but let's them in, and after some grouching about how they keep bringing patients without asking, he examines May. Ed is relieved to hear the little girl only needs some rest to recover. He knows Al is fond of her, and she's too good to die this young because of this blasted war.

Breaking the news to Lan Fan isn't easy. It's not the first time Ed has to deliver bad news, but it doesn't mean the look of utter heartbreak doesn't chip away another piece of his heart. Ed gives her the message, and she takes it with trembling hands. Her joy is brief when compared to the terror for her missing Lord.


Ed knows a lot about hostages. There aren't many people that can be used against him, since he goes out of his way to keep people at arms length, and most of the ones that worm their way into his heart are more than capable of defending themselves.

Still, there are some times when the Homunculi find his weak spots.

When Ed first finds out King Bradley is the homunculus Wrath, he loses control. He threatens to leave the military, threatens to expose him to all Amestris. He doesn't listen when Wrath makes a comment on how Winry is doing.

When she turns up dead in a tragic accident less than a week later, Ed does.


Later that evening, Al and he are knocking on the Hughes' door. Elysia opens for them with a big smile, immediately latching onto Ed. Ed's arms instinctively circle around Elysia's torso as he hugs her tight. He ends up carrying her inside, where Roy is already there with the Hughes sitting in the living room.

"Al! Ed!" Hughes immediately jumps to greet them, like he's not under orders from the doctors to take it easy. Ed doesn't say anything though, in fear of being called out on his bullshit. Hughes gives hugs to the both of them, which Ed knows Al appreciates even if he can't feel them. "How are you two doing? Roy hasn't told me anything, the spoilsport," which is probably the only smart decision he's made in the last forty eight hours, in Ed's wise opinion. It's best if he waits for Ed to doctorate the information, given that neither of them is supposed to know half of what they do, and Ed has more practice hiding it.

"I'm right here," said man grouches from his spot on the couch. Ed ignores him in favor of Gracia's hug.

"We're supposed to be shi— I mean badmouthing you, so it checks out," Ed glances at Elysia, who blessedly didn't notice his slip up. "But I wanted to talk about something important…"

"Dinner first," Gracia suggest, and whatever words she says are law in this household, so they do in fact go to have dinner first.

It's delicious, as always. Ed has no idea just what it's in the dish, but he describes it as best he can to Al, who writes it all down methodically so he can try it once he has his body back.

Ed ignores the looks of sadness they receives from the three adults. It's better than pity, in any case.

Ed also feigns obvliviousness at Roy's obvious efforts at grabbing his attention. It's not that Ed is ignoring the man - because as they've established already, Ed isn't avoiding anyone, especially not Roy - it's just that he doesn't want to have this kind of conversation right now.

Or ever.

Okay so maybe he's been avoiding Roy when they aren't fighting for their lives. Maybe.

Once dinner has been eaten, and pie has been distributed around the table - Ed gets two servings because he's eating for himself and Al, and he's feeling very smug as he gets jealous glares from Roy and Hughes - Gracia manages to get Elysia to leave the room with the tempting prospect of being allowed to eat the pie in her room so they can talk.

Ed is pretty sure they aren't being monitored right now. As far as the Homunculi know, Hughes backed off the investigation after nearly getting killed, and Wrath just got Roy and Ed into compliance. That, coupled by the phone call, should be enough to have Pride off their tracks. He'll be worried spying on Greed, see if he remains loyal or if he, like his predecessor, has a penchant for rebellion.

"So, Ed. You mentioned some things over the phone?" Hughes must have updated Roy on their conversation, because he doesn't look surprised.

"Yeah. We were right," Ed smiles without feeling it. "The Fuhrer is the homunculous Wrath, the military is in on this whole plan to… I don't know, destroy Amestris? They did this weird thing to our alchemy, and we couldn't use it. It's fine now, but I don't like that they can just turn it on and off at will. And we found their base," that gets Roy's attention.

"You did?"

"It's underneath Central Command, like we thought," Al helpfully supplies, explaining how Envy brought them from down there to Central Command in an elevator. "I came there with Gluttony through a side entrance, I think, but now that we know of it it will definitely be guarded," and that reminds Ed…

"What were you thinking, by the way? Going right into their lair like that? You could have been killed!" he scolds Al with a frown. "I don't want you doing stupid shit like that, Al!"

"You were gone!" that silences him. Al sounds heartbroken, and that breaks Ed's own heart. "You were gone, and I thought that if anyone would bring you back, it would be their leader."

"Al…" Ed doesn't know what to say. He's not good at comforting people, he's not good with words. "I'm sorry," he says, and he's not lying. He's sorry he got caught in Gluttony's blast range, and he's sorry Al had to see that. "But don't be that reckless again. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

He would break. He would rage, he would destroy, he would lose any semblance of control he could possibly have left.

He would give up.

Because why is he doing this, if not because of Al? What is he supposed to fight for, if not Al? What is the worth in saving the world, if Al isn't there to see it?

"Alright, Brother," Ed gets out of his musings to look at Al. He doesn't sound pleased, but he's promised. Al doesn't go back on his promises. He then turns to the two officers in front of them. "We also have news on the Homunculi. Greed has been… reformed."

Reformed. That's a pretty word to describe the shit that actually happened.

"Reformed? How so?" Roy asks with his brows furrowed. Ed's fingers itch to smooth the frown back.

"Ling Yao is now Greed's human vessel, like Bradley is with Wrath. Greed is in control, though we believe Ling is still there, just unable to control the body," Ed explains. Hughes' lips form a tight line, and Roy looks mortified.

"In other words, you're saying if this ever gets out, we'll be at war with Xing because we attacked one of their princes?" Roy sounds too calm for someone who is close to having an aneurysm.

"To be fair, Ling did consent to it," Ed doesn't think Al is as helpful as he thinks he is, but it's the thought that counts.

"That's what we'll tell the Emperor then, that his son was possessed but it's fine because he consented to it," Ed would tell Roy that the Emperor probably doesn't give much of a shit about either of his sons or daughters, that he only cares of how much value they can bring to Xing, but the bastard deserves this after pulling shit without telling Ed.

"I feel like you've told me something like that before," Ed hums in thought, smirking when Roy sighs, defeated. "Don't worry, the Emperor won't find out. Not before Ling is either back in control or dead, anyways, and I'm not about to let that happen, so," he shrugs. "I'm more concerned about what you did that landed you in that room with the Fuhrer."

Like outside the office later, Roy cringes. It seems that since he found out Ed isn't actually a teenager, but a grown ass man - ancient, even - in the body of one, he's been more embarrassed by some of his actions, like Ed's disapproval has more weight than before. Or something.

"That… wasn't my best moment, I'll admit," Roy sighs. He's been sighing a lot lately.

"What made you think that? That the Fuhrer split up the whole team or that he threatened you with their safety?" Ed has perfected his ability to use sarcasm, and it shows.

"…Both?" this man will be the death of him, Ed swears.

Al looks strangely amused, hiding a laugh behind a cough. Hughes does no such thing, snorting inelegantly as he shoves a forkful of pie in his mouth.

Weirdos.

There's not much more to tell, at least not to Al and Hughes. Ed may have to have a talk with Roy at a later date, hopefully when he can say what he needs to and then conveniently remember he has some other stuff to do.

Gracia comes to say good bye once she's put Elysia to bed. Ed enjoys the hug more than he should, and then waits for Al to finish being smothered in love so they can go.

"Are you walking to the dorms?" Hughes asks with a slightly worried frown. Ed nods, shrugging. They don't have a car, so he doesn't know how else he expects them to move around. "It's a bit late though…"

"I can drive them," Roy offers. His reaction is fast. Almost immediate. Ed doesn't like it.

"It's fin—" Ed is rudely interrupted by Al, who jumps at the opportunity and thanks Roy before all but dragging Ed to the car. Is there no respect anymore?

Thus, Ed ends up trapped inside Roy's car, sitting in the passenger seat. He makes a point of not looking at Roy's profile, at how his Adam's apple bobs tantalizingly up and down, at how his lips look full even from here, and at how tempting they are.

They arrive at the dorms after what feels like an eternity. Ed goes to leave the car, already feeling his heart start slowing down from the constant near heart attack it's been at since he sat next to Roy.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a moment?" it feels like he's just been sucker punched. Edward… his name sounds like sin coming from Roy's lips. "It won't take long."

Al hesitates for a moment, his eyes intently on Ed. Then, like a switch has been pulled, he hums approvingly.

"I'll wait inside Brother!" then the traitor leaves him alone with Roy, all but skipping inside the dorms. Maybe Al has noticed more than Ed thought he had. Ah, shit, he's gonna get it later, isn't he?

There's no getting out of this, then. Ed slumps back against the seat. He doesn't look at Roy, who's obviously trying to catch his eye. Looking would mean acknowledging, and acknowledging would mean he's willing to have this conversation. Ed knows where this conversation will lead, and he can't have that.

"You've been avoiding me," for someone who likes to run circles around everyone, Roy can be certainly direct when he wants to. Proof he's just a bastard just because he can. "And I want to know why."

"I'm not avoiding you," Ed's words feel like lead in his mouth. "I've just been busy. You know, with the whole saving the world thing."

"You… you are aware that… that what you said to me doesn't change how I view you at all, right? You are still the same Edward than before, the only thing that has changed is my understanding of your circumstances," Roy is careful with his words, always has been. It doesn't make them any less genuine, or any less piercing. "You said yourself that things didn't have to change. And I'm glad you told me, Edward, because you don't deserve to do this alone."

It burns. It burns in his stomach, it burns in his lungs, it burns in his heart. Everything is burning, because Ed loves Roy Mustang so much and it destroys him that he can't have him. That he can't have this imperfect man that stole his heart so many lifetimes ago.

"It's… it's hard. Alright? It's hard to talk to people. I'm not used to relying on anyone, because when I do, they die. People always die when they get too close, Roy. And I'm tired," it's one of the truest things he has said in a while. Ed has learned to always speak half truths and white lies, blending words until not even he can tell if what he's said is deceitful or not. "I've long since stopped hoping for good endings. The world is too cruel for that."

Finally, Ed looks at Roy. He looks a little heartbroken, and infinitely sad. Ed wants to hug him, try to calm his worries, shield him from all the shit the world tries to throw at him. But he can't, it's not his place. Not anymore, not ever.

"Do you want to know something?" he asks, and Ed nods if a bit warily. "I've found that, after being called a weapon, or a monster, it's only when I'm fighting real monsters that I truly feel that I'm human," Roy smiles kindly at him. "So it's fine if the world is cruel. We can make it better," his left hand reaches out to softly caress Ed's cheek, and he instinctively leans into it. "Don't shut me out, Edward. Let me help you."

And Ed really shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't. But he is tired. And he has always been weak when Roy Mustang is concerned.

"Okay," he whispers, closing his eyes as fear and regret and something like hope seeps in his heart. "Okay."


Alrighty, there were a lot of emotions in here. There was a lot more plot development than there was relationship wise, but we'll get there… eventually. Just remember Ed is actually traumatized for all the times he's lost Roy and try to forgive him for being too stubborn. I also feel like I need to give Roy some time to acknowledge Ed's feelings, think about them, and realize he's actually indeed attracted to Ed, and that yes the enthralling he feels when he and Ed talk is more than just platonic.

Anyways, what do you think? I tried to give Al some more presence, but I don't know if I made it work. I also changed some things regarding Winry and Maes, since she's not the love interest and Ed knows how to hide her, and I have to put Maes somewhere since he's not dead anymore (this is actually really hard when you're doing a thorough retelling, let me tell you).

Well that's all I have for now. See you guys next chapter!

Stay safe! Kudos!
Pato