Maybe Tinder Tuesdays were a terrible idea, Bella thought as she hit the snooze button for the third and last time on her phone. Mike laid snoring lightly next to her as the pale light seeped through her gauzy curtains, and she took stock of how her body felt—organizing each ache as a result of the alcohol or Mike's lovemaking. Lovemaking. She hated that term. Likely, because she seldom loved any of the people she shared her bed with. Almost. Mike wasn't bad: clean-cut, in law school, with plans to get rich in the corporate world before focusing on pro bono work, with marriage and kids sprinkled in between. He was from money, so plans that came to fruition were his norm, something Bella hoped to gain by osmosis.

But most importantly, she knew he could never hurt her; even after just three dates, she could sense that he was already planning their lives together. This suited Bella just fine. She was ready to let someone else drive for a change- never having had the opportunity to really be as irresponsible as she dreamed of. But before Bella could study her thoughts and feelings on Mike too intently, she refocused on the task at hand. Overall her body felt fine- nothing coffee and ibuprofen couldn't fix so she resigned herself to start the day- thankful she had the mind to set the coffee maker to auto brew before they drunkenly fell into bed.

Sitting in a worn oversized sweater, messy bun, and socked feet at the green Formica kitchen table that she and Alice found for cheap at the thrift store, Bella allowed herself to think of Edward. It had been at least two years since she had seen him, sleepy-eyed and letting her into his house after a late night at the hospital. But rather than let herself focus on the events of that awful time, she let herself examine all the ways in which he'd changed. Green eyes the same, gorgeous and bright, but oof, those greying temples- had she develop a dad fetish? He'd definitely filled out even hunched in the barstool nursing a beer- she could see the definition in his back, the flex of his forearms, and large hands around the pint glass. Had his hands always been so attractive? The only time she could remember noticing were flashes of him pinning them above her head. Reaching up her skirt to rid her of her underwear. Hand on her knees as he spread her thighs and….

"Morning, baaaabe," Alice drawled, eyes half-closed and in just her tank and undies.

"Good morning, ass. Mike is still here, by the way- in case you want to throw on some shorts," Bella responded, blowing on her cup of coffee before taking a sip.

"Whatever. You both sure acted like you had this house to yourself with the sounds you were making. I'm not compromising my comfort for you cochinos.'

"Fuck off! We were not that loud."

Alice raised an eyebrow behind her cup of coffee in a challenge, "I will say, Mike's dirty talk has gotten better since the last time he was over."

Groaning and giggling, "oh my god, please don't," Bella hid her face in the stretched neck of the sweater to hide her heated face.

"You're lucky my brain needs more coffee, or else I'd keep going," Alice responded, sitting next to Bella with her mug and phone. "So, I'm guessing we're deleting tinder and canceling Tuesdays at New Moon, then? This is the second time he's spent the night in as many weeks."

"Hmmm. Maybe, I do kind of like him, and he does love going down on..."

"YOU STOP! it's enough that I had to listen to you two all night. I don't need visuals."

"Sshhhh, don't be so loud," she whisper-yelled, "I mean, I do like him, but it's too soon to say- oh my god- you'll never guess who was at the bar yesterday. "

"Jessica"

"Ew, no"

"Hot bartender"

"Alice, he works there- duh, but no."

"…. The creepy mailman?"

"I would never go back there again! But, no- Edward Cullen."

"Who?"

"Ugh! You know the guy that took my virginity" althoughhecertainlytookmore than that, Bella responded, letting the last self-admission squeeze her heart at the memory.

"No shit? How was that? Did he get fat?"

"I wish. He looked really good, even if he's currently rocking this weird mustache-stubble combo that I kind of hate" she tried to play nonchalant, but glancing at Alice and realizing she was more interested in whatever was on her phone screen and at an attempt to guard her real feelings, she hastily added, "but whatever, we only spoke for literally a second and then Mike showed up."

"I showed up where?" Asked Mike as he walked into the kitchen in only boxers and scratching his stomach.

"The bar last night," Bella quickly responded as she got up from the table, "I have to get ready for work- leave whenever."

"Why doesn't he get shit for walking around in his chonies!" Alice yelled, seemingly returning to the kitchen from wherever her phone had taken her.

"My what?" Asked Mike

Bella ignored them both heading into their shared bathroom to shower before she really started her day- committed to not thinking about Edward Cullen while she was in there.

—————————

Arriving 15 minutes early at her first gig of the day, part-time work doing accounts receivable for her best friend, Rose's family. She went straight to the coffee maker for a little extra motivation but mainly to foster some goodwill with the mechanics, who could then be sweet-talked into free repairs or oil changes. As she's measuring the coffee in the filter by eye, just the way Charlie taught her, she hears the large bay door opening signaling the first of the guys are here to start their day. Jacob Black, a one-time crush quickly fizzled by an aggressive first kiss, makes his way towards her.

"Good morning star shine- the earth says hello," he sings.

"Don't start, you know I hate morning people" she turns back around to finish the task at hand.

"Aw Bell, yes, but you love me."

"Only because my dad and having zero friends in BFE Forks forced me."

"Don't forget the broken English."

"Whatever, at least I can tell you to fuck off in multiple languages now."

"Two is hardly anything to brag about."

"Didn't I tell you I'm learning sign language?" She quipped, giving him the finger as she walked away.

In the front office, she finds Rosie's mom settling into her office as she moves towards the reception desk to get her computer going.

"Morning, Sheila- I just have to wrap up some end-of-the-month stuff but should be done in a couple of hours- need me to stay to answer phones?

"Hey sweetie, if you could, that would be great. Just until about 2- I forgot I had a doctor's appointment today. How was your date last night?"

Shrugging, she opened her emails for a quick check as she responded, "No worries, I'll just let my study group know I'll be a bit late, and it was fine, just had a couple of drinks then headed back to mine for a movie."

"You don't sound too thrilled- what was it? The fourth date?"

"Third, but no, I really like him, it's just… I don't know, wanting to take things slowly, I guess."

"Smart girl. I wish Rose would've done the same rather than marrying Emmett right out of high school."

"Oh no, are they fighting again?"

"No, no, they're great. I just didn't want her to get stuck like me- travel a bit before settling down."

It felt strange relying on updates about her brother's life from others. Especially since he had married her best friend and she was so close to her family on her mother's side, despite being in different countries; Alice was practically her sister. But, she chalked up the reality of their relationship with being so far apart in age and never having an opportunity to bond when they were younger.

Bella faked a cheery mood, responding "Don't worry, mama Hale, I'm planning to get the hell out of dodge eventually, and you can live vicariously through me."

The day moved slowly with just a few new appointments and over-the-phone payments. With their new website (that Bella begged them to update), everyone pretty much just booked and paid online, leaving Bella to wonder if she was a pity hire more than anything. Regardless, she was grateful as they allowed her to work on homework and complete her online courses when everything was slow. But, as she was caught up on work on all fronts, she let herself think of Edward and dissect the thrill that ran through her every time she did.

She wouldn't say that he was her first love or that she loved him at all, for that matter. Which was maybe a lie, but she didn't really have anything to compare it to, at least nothing she would or could admit to herself. What she did know, however, was that she had always loved the way he looked at her: intensely, like her mind had all the answers to the universe, and he was trying to find a way in. Alone in his room, it was expectation- waiting to see what she was willing to offer him. Even after she gave him everything, or at least everything she thought was worth it, his gaze never ceased to make her aware that she was alive and her body electric. At least until she had to cut herself off when she realized he wasn't willing to give her what she needed. Even back then, her pride and impatience had been something fierce, and given the opportunity, she wouldn't let anyone injure the former again.

"Fuck him," she whispered to herself but didn't stop herself from wading through the nostalgia of her time with him.

AN:

So I guess this is a purge more than a project. No schedule just updates as I go. Next chapter will go into how they met. And just in case, cochino/a= nasty and chonies is slang for underwear.

Also, I apparently write like I talk, which Grammarly says is bad, so apologies for any grammar issues.