Hello again! This came out a lot sooner than I thought it would, but I had a headache this morning so I stayed home and I got inspiration a few hours ago, so I wrote this in one sitting and I just finished editing.
This takes place in chapter 3, so if you haven't read it yet I don't recommend you read this since it contains spoilers. But here it is! Roy's POV of their first kiss! I'm working out my timeline for the other extra chapter I promised, but for now have this!
Roy is exhausted. Ever since Fuhrer King Bradley revealed himself as a homunculous and tore his whole team apart, Roy has been running himself to the ground to fill in the gaps during his spare time. Edward has been a great help, of course, but there are matters Roy has to handle himself, and it's taking its toll.
Like every morning, Roy is at the office at six thirty on the dot. With the replacements Bradley posted on his command in his team's stead, Roy has to get creative to get some productive time at the office. This is why he and Fullmetal meet every morning at seven to discuss matters that aren't serious enough to deal with out of the office, but that nonetheless his new subordinates shouldn't hear, since they are most likely there to spy on him. This small window during the morning is the only time he and Edward can talk without purposefully antagonizing each other, and Roy likes to make the most of it.
While he waits, Roy organizes his schedule for the day. Now that he doesn't have Riza to do it for him, Roy longs for the times when she packed his day with meetings and paperwork. It sure beats having to do it himself, especially when he still has to attend the same meetings and sign the same paperwork regardless.
At least he has some time in the evening to look forward to. He scheduled a meeting with General Grumman, and talking with the old man is always entertaining, if not mentally challenging.
And maybe, if he times things right and doesn't make it look suspicious, he and Edward can…
Edward barrels through his office's door at seven on the dot, taking Roy out of his musings. For someone who always makes a point of getting everywhere late, he has never arrived more than three minutes past seven since they started this arrangement. Just like Roy, Edward knows what's at stake here, and that they can't afford to waste any time on pointless endeavors.
Roy makes a show of slowly looking up from paperwork he hadn't been reading as Edward closes the door behind himself and makes his way to one of the chairs in front of his desk, draping himself with an ease and gracefulness that only highly trained fighters possess. Edward is like a panther. Agile, fast, beautiful and deadly.
Edward looks tired, Roy notes with sharp eyes. There are bags under those golden eyes, and his hair looks frazzled on the loose braid he has it on. His tan skin doesn't have its usual glow and, to his displeasure, Roy is almost sure he's lost weight.
If he were a less driven man, Roy would feel guilty for giving Edward so much work on top of his own research in alkahestry. As it is, he can't get himself to do anything other than commiserate with him. Edward knew what he was getting into when he decided to join the military. He has known for who knows how many years. If there is someone who's more determined to defeat the Homunculi than Roy, it's Edward.
"Fullmetal," Fullmetal, not Edward. It's a clear distinction Roy always does a point to make. Edward salutes him lazily, but Roy doesn't admonish him for it. "Did you find what you were looking for yet?"
"Nah," Edward shakes his head. His eyes shut close for a moment as he sighs through his nose. "For such a big library, there are too few books in alkahestry. If I hadn't seen it, I'd think it doesn't exist," he says in a tired tone. Roy's lips instinctively curl up in a small smile he doesn't try to smooth out. "Did you find the cat?"
Ah, yes. The cat. Or whatever this Xiao May is supposed to be.
Roy shakes his head, apologetic. "Not yet, I'm afraid. One would be surprised how difficult it is to find such a distinguishable creature," Edward snorts at that, nodding wearily. "I'll let you know if I find it."
"Thanks," Edward crosses his legs. Roy follows the movement with hungry eyes, and he has to tear himself away from looking at the way the shift makes Edward's tighs look good enough to eat. "I'm thinking of writing to Havoc, see how he's doing. Do you have his address?" that's unusual. Roy's eyes narrow minutely as he takes another look at Edward, this time with another purpose.
Edward doesn't write often, nor does he call. Nearly never, if Roy wants to get technical, and when he does it's always to his mechanic, Miss Winry Rockbell. The only reasonable explanation Roy can come up with is that Edward wants to send a message he can't deliver by phone and can't give out himself, if he's using Havoc as an intermediary. He must have finished compiling the information for Second Lieutenant Breda.
In that case…
"I should have it somewhere. I'll give it to you before you leave," Roy promises, and Edward nods as he stands up. Roy takes a look at the clock on the wall, swallowing back a curse as he notices the time. The rest of his subordinates will be arriving any time now. It's important that they don't see Edward spending too much time chatting with him in the office. But there is that thing he's been wanting to ask him. "Edward?"
Edward stops in his tracks. He doesn't turn to look at him, which Roy guesses it's fair.
Roy feels slightly guilty for using his name. He knows what it does to him, hearing him call him Edward instead of Fullmetal. It's underhanded, but it's the only way Roy knows that would effectively draw his attention.
"What is it?" Edward keeps his voice steady, but Roy thinks he knows him enough to know when he's bluffing.
"I'll have to leave early today as well. I agreed to meet an old friend in the evening," Roy keeps his voice light and airy, like he always does when he wants something and doesn't want the other person to know. "Would you like to go grab lunch with me before we part ways?"
There. He said it. He asked Edward to go on a date with him.
Edward turns around. His eyes are wide, they look so full of caution, with a hint of fear. His mouth is parted. He looks shocked. He really shouldn't be.
Edward doesn't say anything. Roy stands up and rounds his desk with slow motions, walking until they are merely two steps from each other. Edward, who had avoided looking directly at him, finally meets his eyes. Sharp, warm gold comes against dark and dangerous black.
"You don't mean that," he whispers. Roy isn't sure whether Edward wants that to be true or not.
"But I do," Roy doesn't waver, and takes another step. Edward stays rooted where he is. "I've done some thinking, after what you told me," oh, how he's thought. It had kept him awake for multiple nights, unable to let things rest until he'd gotten his answer. How so many things about Edward made sense now. How Roy always felt like he talked with an adult when he and Edward spent time together. How Edward had wormed his way into his heart without Roy noticing. "And at first I didn't want to believe it, but… well, there's a reason this has happened before, I guess," Roy can't help the smile that makes its way on his lips. In front of him, Edward looks gorgeous. It makes his heart pound hard enough to ring in his ears.
"Roy…" Edward looks hesitant, and lost for words. He hadn't been expecting this, even if Roy thinks he should have. This has happened before, from his perspective. It's Roy that's new to all this.
He takes one final step.
Roy is a romantic at heart. Almost no one would believe it, since he's worked hard to maintain a facade of womanizing, but he hasn't actually had many relationships. He cannot afford to let someone in that often, because opening up means baring himself, it means letting them see him weak. Roy doesn't do weakness, because I'm his world, weakness means death, and he has a job to do, he has a debt to pay.
But it's not like that with Edward. With him, somehow, Roy has already opened up his heart. Edward never had to do anything, and Roy just… let himself be.
His eyes close when he finally presses his lips against Ed's. They are plump and soft, moist against his own in a way that's sure to drive him crazy. Roy brings him closer, needing him in a way he doesn't think he's ever needed anyone before. He drags Edward by the hips until he is pressed against him, and as the blonde wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss, Roy can hear his heart beating as fast as his own frantic thudding.
Tentatively, Roy tries to coax Edward to open up his mouth to let him in, gliding his tongue lightly over Edward's lips. He lets him in almost immediately, and Roy groans in pleasure as the kiss turns deeper and heated. Edward moans lowly, and Roy drinks the sound eagerly.
Edward tastes of that sugared coffee he loves to drink, mixed with something Roy thinks is cinnamon. It's delicious and it makes him delirious with pleasure.
One of his hands stays on Edwards waits, keeping him close and squeezing gently in a way that has Ed all but burying himself against him. The other one shoots up to Edwards hair, running his fingers through it as he makes it come loose from the messy braid. Despite its earlier frail appearance, Edward's hair is soft. Roy catches a whiff of apple coming from it as Edward stands on his tiptoes as the kiss turns deeper, fierce, desperate.
Kissing Edward is like finding a missing piece of himself he hadn't known was lost.
When they part, Roy is reluctant. He doesn't want to let go of the warmth and the sweetness and Edward. He feels his lips swollen, and Roy is delighted to see Edward's disheveled appearance. Like this, he looks sinful, with his hair all messed up and framing his face in a subtle way, his lips red and swollen. The gold of his eyes is almost nonexistent, swallowed back by the black of his pupils. Like this, he doesn't look like the fearsome alchemist capable of destroying cities and creating beautiful masterpieces as easily as one would breathe. Like this, in the middle of Roy's office at seven in the morning, running on little sleep and after a thorough kiss, Edward looks like someone Roy could fall for. Like someone Roy had already fallen for. Like this, Edward looks real.
Roy can't help it. He smiles.
For some reason, it seems like the wrong thing to do, because next thing he knows, Edward, looking terrified out of his mind, tears himself from his grasp, backing away as if Roy had just burnt him. The thought is searingly painful.
Roy's smile disappears, replaced by a frown.
"Edward—?"
"W-We shouldn't have done that," he says, voice wavering. Roy's heart feels like it's breaking. "We shouldn't— that was a mistake."
Edward turns to the door. No, no why is he leaving? Didn't they just kiss? Wasn't it as enjoyable for Edward as it was for Roy?
"Edward," he tries to stop him. It's like he hadn't said anything at all. "Edward, don't go. Ed! Please, Ed, don't go!" stay, his mind whimpers as he stares at Edward. The blond doesn't turn back, doesn't listen to any of his pleas, and soon, Roy is alone in an office that suddenly feels too big for him alone.
Edward left. They kissed and it was wonderful and then he… left. He regretted it. He said it was a mistake. Kissing Roy was a mistake.
Why couldn't he make Edward stay? What did he do wrong?
(Why couldn't he be enough?)
Alright, so I know some of ya'll are a bit mad at me right now. In my defense, you guys read the main story, you knew what you were getting into. And that other thing I'm planning is guaranteed to have some royed fluff! Promise!
In technical matters tho, what did you think of Roy? Did I write him right? I'm not sure if I did, since I kind of got used to writing Ed this past months, so feedback would be appreciated!
I'm not sure when I'll be back, since my semester is finishing up and exams are in like a month, but we'll see.
Stay safe! Kudos!
Pato
