Arriving home late, Edward still hadn't gotten used to returning to an empty condo. He loved Maggie in his way, but the most challenging part of her leaving was how quiet his home seemed.

Although he wasn't surprised when she broke things off, he was surprised at how much it continued to hurt, in part because she seemed to want to drag out the breakup. Between texts and late-night calls, he felt like he was going a bit crazy. He knew she wanted him to change, to somehow fix things and be together again, but he couldn't. Not unless she changed things too. And for the love he still had for her, he couldn't bring himself to say what it was about her that was no longer palatable. Breaking up was hard enough, but for him to criticize her after the fact just seemed cruel.

Feeling like a dick, he chalked up his last two years with her as two lonely people trying to build a relationship out of nothing, even if, at first, it didn't feel that way.

Growing up in Algonquin, Illinois, an hour northwest of Chicago, Edward had a seemingly idyllic childhood. Both his parents, Edward and Esmeralda, had come from money. Edward Sr. continued the patriarchal tradition of practicing law, while Esme had every resource to live a socialite's dream life. However, she instead fed her artistic passions through interior design. Edward and his younger sister, Emily, wanted for nothing growing up. And while this can be an environment for breeding nepotism and apathy, their privilege was tempered by the truly toxic home life Ed Sr. fostered. Being emotionally and physically abusive to Esme and, on occasion, his children, they grew up understanding that appearances were not all they had seemed. Coupled with their mother's empathetic nature, the Masen children were fortunate to be wealthy in more ways than monetarily. They also had the capacity to care for others.

After a decade of maltreatment and out of deep concern for how her relationship with their father was shaping her children's malleable minds, Esme made the decision to leave and move to a small town in the Pacific Northwest. Despite her best efforts, though, the abusive relationship still had adverse consequences on young Edward, although it could have been arguably worse.

Growing up, and until this moment in time of him missing Maggie and the reappearance of Bella, Edward's barometer for what was abusive meant physical violence or verbal abuse; the intent to cause harm. He forced himself into self-reflection by analyzing the failure of his relationship precisely and methodically. He was beginning to see how his lack of care, coupled with caving to pressure from others, as well as, at times, how his self-serving nature had blurred the lines between healthy and toxic.

Not wanting to wallow in thoughts of how he and Maggie had fucked things up, he poured himself two fingers of whiskey, moving to lay on the buttery leather of his sofa. It had been a few days since he saw Bella at New Moon, and he wanted to revel in the distraction she offered. Opening his Instagram app and resisting the compulsion to check on his ex, he intended to go straight to Bella's page until he saw she was already in his feed. It was a picture of her, long hair loose and lips wrapped around a straw. But it was the way her dark eyes stared into the camera that really did it for him. He used to love how she looked at him like he had all the answers and with playful disdain when he most obviously didn't. Scrolling through her grid, he couldn't help but like a photo of her from last year, head back and laughing in what looked like a dark booth at New Moon. Without overthinking it, Edward thumbed the message button, taking another sip of his whiskey before sending: "It was really good seeing you the other day. You look great, Bella."

As he waited for her response, he scrolled through their previous messages to each other, going all the way to the top when she first messaged him.

Bella: wow. following me and liking my pics on insta. way to be obvious you took advantage of Emmett's little sis

Edward: I'm willing to risk it. I had fun with you.

After they had messaged back and forth for days, he learned that Bella's plans to be a yoga instructor meant she'd be moving out to Port Angeles in September, just after her birthday. She was set to attend an intensive yoga certification and wet her feet in a bigger town before moving to Seattle with Rose.

He was patient as she took the time to explain that her mother had been ill for some time, alluding to it being the reason they left the country. But, since moving back to Forks, she seemed to be doing better; yoga helped manage Bella's anxiety of a potential relapse. While she wished to someday move to LA, or maybe to Mexico City, she worried that being so far meant the possibility that she'd not be with her family if things took a turn for the worse. Until Port Angeles, she would spend her time volunteering with Charlie at the police station and the local library branch in Forks because she hated feeling unproductive.

Edward had intended to finish what they started in the laundry room, but the more they talked, he found that he actually enjoyed her quick wit and how generous she was with her time.

In turn, he spoke to her about adjusting to Port Angeles as a kid- separated from his family, who had been against his mother's decision, but mostly the difficulty in making new friends. He knew how lucky he was to get a job right out of college with a small construction firm in PA and was proud to do so on his own, without family connections. While he would be happy never to see his dad again, he wouldn't mind moving back to Illinois, Chicago specifically. But if he was really honest with himself, his dream was to someday have the ability to live comfortably in New York.

He was happy that Bella seemed equally excited to learn about him. That Edward loved his little sister above everyone else and hated that his parents went with all-one-letter first names.

When pressed by Bella, Edward admitted he thought Rosalie was cute but much-preferred brunettes over blondes. And much to her delight, he always intended to have Bella, and no one else, under or above him by the end of the night. And that blonde she saw him with earlier in the night was just Tanya, a friend from college and now his colleague at the construction company that accepted them both on as associates. Although he couldn't know, the more he shared, the more she swooned.

He also sensed she might have been more inexperienced than he first assumed. At times, he would try to steer the conversation into more lewd directions, and while she'd seem to be feeling it at first, she'd always find a way to play it off as a joke and move to more PG territory. Thinking back to the way she froze before being interrupted by her friend, the nagging feeling that he was being a creep led him to ask-

E: I hope this isn't weird, but can I ask, are you a virgin?

After waiting for hours, Bell finally responded-

B: Yes. Is that a problem for u?

E: nah, just wanted to know how slow I should be taking this?

B: this?

E: I like you, Bella, even though it's probably going to get me in trouble

B: why would you get in trouble? I told you I wouldn't tell my brother

E: your dad is a chief of police. And it sounds like your mom wouldn't think twice about killing and disposing of my body too. Your family doesn't have connections to cartels that I should know about, right?

B: lol, nooo, I hate that you went there. don't be racist! Do you really think I'd tell you if we did

E: see. I've got all THAT against me, and I still wanna talk to you. I just wanna know how slow I should be with this. I want you to be comfortable

B: there you go with "this" again. But thanks. I'm good with how we are now. I mean, for sure you're a creep, but I'll tell you if it's too much

E: Good. Would it be too fast to invite you out to dinner for my birthday? It'll just be my sister and me.

B: I dunno… when is it?

E: next weekend. I can pick you up. No pressure though

Before he could keep reading their messages and risk falling into memories of the first time they hung out alone, his phone pinged with a new alert.

B: don't you know it's a faux pas to like a photo buried that deep in someone's socials?

E: is it? I guess I've never been too concerned with social etiquette when it comes to you

B: oh really? I must remember things differently

E: Yeah, you always had a way of making me surprise myself.

Seeing Bella typing her response and then stopping, he waited for a beat before adding,

E: I had to get your attention somehow. When I texted your old number, someone responded that they could pretend to be Bella for me and kept texting for days after until I blocked their number

B: lol, what you don't know is that it still is my number! I was just trying to scare you away

E: I don't know- I don't remember your nipples being quite as hairy… unless a lot has changed since I last had the pleasure of seeing them

B: omg, they did not send you a picture of their tits! serves you right lol

E: they did, and believe me, no one deserves that.Falling back into their comfortable banter, Edward was excited and relieved to be reminded how easy things could be with her. Unassuming and lighthearted, he had loved texting back and forth with her. After hours that flew by, Edward finally asked-

E: as much as I love creeping on your Instagram, I was hoping I could have your new number? Maybe we could grab a beer at New Moon sometime?

When she read his message and didn't respond as quickly as she had been, Edward began to second guess himself. Thinking back to how she smiled when her date arrived and how comfortable they seemed together as he watched them through the mirror behind the bar, he wondered if maybe he was reading too much into their back and forth.

But, if there was a chance, he wasn't going to let some guy from Tinder stop him. Edward wanted to stick to casual for a while, and he knew that he and Bella could do that well. The best. And if she wasn't interested, he was desperate enough to take what he could get from her.

B: Yeah, that'd be fun, but I am kinda seeing someone. Just so you know.

He had expected that response, but not the jealousy that flared in his chest. Not wanting to dig in what "kinda" met, and certainly not wanting to hear about some dude that he imagined got to do things to Bella that Edward most desperately wanted an opportunity to do again, Edward opted for neutral.

E: I'm cool with that, Bella. I just know how much fun we've had together. Just as friends.

B: Edward, we were never friends, lol. But sure, that sounds fun

Edward could sense her skepticism but still texted her as soon as she shared her number. After making plans for happy hour on Monday and sharing good night texts, Edward took his empty whiskey glass to the sink and headed for his room. Undressing down to just his boxer briefs and sliding between the cool sheets, Edward soon fell asleep more excited than he had been in a while.

He hadn't thought of Maggie once while talking to Bella.

AN:

Hi pals! One quick update about posting: since the very kind Fran is helping with editing and clarity in general- I'm going to switch to a weekly update. Probably every Saturday.

let me know what you think!