Do you remember that time we found that pool hall in Port Angeles—the one that didn't card anyone and only served the cheapest canned beer?"
Bella did remember. It was one of the few places, other than a house party, where they could go out together with his friends. That first night, a month after their relationship had become sexual, was one of the most exciting for her; not even Tanya's presence could diminish what she felt then. Bella thought of it as a tipping point, and she could have sworn Edward felt the same.
Could have.
Maybe still did.
Bella felt the rush of walking into the dimly lit room marketed as billiards but mainly filled with high-top bar tables. She was trying to play it cool and not look like an out-of-her-element-teen dressed in mom jeans she sewed with her actual mom. Not to mention the tank top she slept in because she knocked over one of Esme's antique vases on her overnight bag. Being the darling she was, his mom insisted on doing her laundry for her, promising it would be ready in the morning. But so worried about being an imposition, Bella opted for what she had available rather than asking Esme if her clothes were ready. Watching Edward with anxious eyes and a fluttering heart as he left her with a kiss, joining his friends to order beer for the group, she hung back in the corner, hoping not to draw attention to herself.
"So, you and Edward, huh? That's cute."
"Is it?" Bella responded, surprised and wary of Tanya, who seemingly materialized out of nowhere. Although she never met her at Emmett's party so many months ago, Bella had been with Edward on many occasions when he turned down Tanya's request to go out to spend time with Bella instead. She could feel the condescension in the beautiful blonde's tone and see it in the upturned corners of her full mouth but refused to let Tanya see the insecurity her remark spurred. Regardless of the war it had already raged inside her since 'sneaking' into the pool hall.
Rather than respond, Bella watched as Tanya, seemingly done with their interaction, made her way to the bar to order a drink. Bella watched Edward give his friend a one-armed hug, their heads together as they spoke; the sharp sting of jealousy made worse at the way he laughed at whatever Tanya said to him. Bella couldn't deny they looked good together; Tanya exuded confidence in her skinny jeans and off-the-shoulder blouse, long blonde hair thick and free of any flyaways. She was a walking shampoo commercial.
But as Edward made his way back to her leaving Tanya at the bar to wait for her drink, she couldn't help the tug at her heart as he watched her and smiled.
"It feels wild to be out with you. I like it."
"Me too," she responded shyly, "even if I don't know how to play pool."
"Are you setting me up?
"What do you mean?"
"You know, I can show you…stand behind you and guide your arms with mine on how to properly line up your shot and take it." Siding closer to where she sat on the stool, he brought his head closer to hers, ensuring his friends wouldn't overhear. "But it might defeat the purpose of us being out as I'd just wanna take you back home again."
"Oh my god, shut up. I'll just watch you and copy," she said, pushing at his chest, feeling the heat crawling up her neck as she remembered Edward between her legs that morning.
Smiling in the way that crinkled his eyes, he kissed her on the cheek before thinking better of it and thoroughly kissing her on the mouth. He then left to grab them cues, not noticing the contented haze he left her in. She loved happy Edward.
As the night went on, Bella's attempts at playing got better, more so after Edward showed her how to determine the angles of each ball's trajectory and how she needed to hit the white ball to make it go where she wanted. Although they lost more than they won as a team, nothing seemed to dampen his spirits, doting on Bella, and making sure she was comfortable. With the exception of Tanya, who she felt was intentionally trying to make her uncomfortable by pulling Bella into conversations she knew she couldn't contribute to, Edward's friends were friendly and didn't blink twice or seem to notice that she wasn't actually of age to be there. Still, she was mostly content to sit back and watch, enjoying Edward in his element with his friends, laughing at their easy teasing and goofiness that increased with each cheap can of beer consumed.
"So, Bella- are you in school? Port Angeles community college?" Tanya asked, sitting on the stool across from Bella.
"I just finished the coursework for my yoga instructor certification, and now I'm just working on completing my practicum hours to-"
"Yoga?! No wonder Edward is so into you," she said with a giddiness Bella could only interpret as malicious. "Why not U-dub like your brother?"
"It's not really my thing, so—"
Annoyed that for the umpteenth time that night that Tanya started a conversation only to disengage before she could respond, Bella watched as Tanya addressed Edward instead
"Ed, are you more flexible now that you're dating a yoga instructor?" She called out with a giggle.
"Fuck off, Tanya-" he said, ignoring her and throwing a wink Bella's way.
"Oh, come on, I'm sure it's super convenient. Or at least something is."
Bella's cheeks flamed with embarrassment, not for her career choice; she loved what she did and loved teaching others about the aspects of yoga people didn't often learn. But realizing most of the friends here tonight were people he went to college with, Bella hated that she was worried her path might seem immature – delusional; that Tanya's suggestion of her being an easy choice for Edward might be the reason he was with her.
"Ignore her; she hates not being the prettiest one in a room." A blonde guy said, who Bella had noticed on the periphery of the group all night but hadn't interacted much with their party.
"Oh, umm. She's fine- she doesn't even know me, so it's whatever," Bella responded, ignoring his appreciative gaze and hoping she didn't sound as affected as she was by Tanya's comments.
"I'm James, by the way. Edward said he was dating someone but didn't mention it was Emmett's little sister." He said, staring too intently at her for her comfort.
"You know Emmett?"
"All right, I want a smoke; wanna go outside, Bella?" Edward interrupted, seemingly there to save the day.
"Sure," she responded, though she questioned if Edward also sensed some vague danger by James' presence or if he was more worried that someone might tell Emmett he brought her here.
… That they were here together.
As she followed him out the back door, her worry dissipated as he suddenly grabbed her by the hand, walking faster as he looked over his shoulder, making sure no one followed, as if he hadn't announced to everyone there that they were stepping out.
Exiting the hall in to a damp alley, Edward didn't waste any time as he pulled Bella with him, pressing her against the wall with his body.
"All I've thought of all night is you in my bed wearing nothing but this perfume," he said as he buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent he claimed to want to spray everywhere that she hadn't already left her mark.
Instead of waiting for her response, he left searing kisses along the column of her neck, teeth grazing as he took his time making a slow path to her mouth. Slow, desperate, and needy. As they kissed against the wall, feeling his hardness against her, Bella couldn't imagine the possibility that anyone could or ever would want her this much again.
"Are you ready to head home, Bella?" Edward said, his hands trailing from her waist to he rib cage before wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her tighter against him.
"Yes," she sighed. "Are you okay to drive?"
"No," he laughed, "but we can get a cab."
Making their way inside, Bella grabbed her stuff and gave a shy wave goodbye to his friends. She pointedly tried to ignore James' creepy leer and Tanya's judging looks.
"This was fun; we should do it more often," she said as he finally smoked the cigarette he claimed so long ago to want.
Looking at her, she felt as if he suddenly saw her with new eyes; as if this was the first opportunity he had to see they were good together and could be great. As he watched her, he offered her his smoke, staring at her mouth as she took a drag like he always did.
"We should."
That night, they kept it PG in the back of the cab home, but Bella couldn't help but sense a shift in his regard for her. The way he looked at her all night felt like something… more. And so, as he kissed her while he tried unlocking the door leading down the steps to his basement apartment, they took turns removing a piece of their clothing. His shirt followed by hers, as one article left his chilled skin from the cold night, hers soon followed like it needed to be wherever his corresponding piece was.
"I'm glad you could be with us tonight, but god Bella, I wanted you here with me alone the moment we got there."
She laughed as he nuzzled her neck, stroking her fingers through his thick hair. Emboldened by his affection, Bella stepped away to remove her last clothing.
"Edward- will you show me what you like."
Letting his eyes appreciate the newly exposed parts of her, he responded after swallowing, "I like everything. Come here," he said, keeping his boxers on but pulling her to his bed.
"I'm serious. You're so gentle with me like I'm going to break. It's just if you want something more, I need you to show me. Teach me."
"Bella," he groaned, punctuating it with a kiss, "are you calling me vanilla?"
"Maybe," she laughed.
"I love everything we do. I just want to make you feel good. Tell me what you want to try, and we'll try."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh my god," Bella laughed, bringing up her cool hands to cover her warming cheeks as she sat across from Edward at the waterfront taco shop he insisted had the best fish tacos in Seattle. "Why was that your favorite night?"
"Because we had fun. You were happy. And I'm not gonna lie; I loved when you told me what you wanted with your words." Leaning in to lower his voice, Edward added, "Even though I always loved the little noises you would make, it was my life's goal to figure out exactly what got those going. How to make them louder. But hearing you tell me how and where to move… was something else."
"Life's goal seems like a poor phrase considering." She said, ignoring the steady warmth low in her belly that memories of that night triggered. "It was fun, though. Please don't laugh, but I could've sworn the way you looked at me was different. I thought you might have loved me," she added, teasing, more of a defense mechanism than wanting to shame him.
"I'm sure I did and was too stupid to do anything about it," he offered casually, kicking himself for being too scared to be real, even now.
Edward watched as Bella's eyes sparked with what he had learned was anger, but rather than the verbal lashing he expected to follow, he was surprised when she just sighed instead.
She's with someone, you dumbass.
"Thanks for finally letting me take you to dinner. I'm excited that the interview went well. Do you know when you'll hear back from them? How's your family feeling about you potentially moving to Guatemala? Where would you even stay? Is it safe?"
Bella laughed at his rapid-fire questions and his thorough attempt to change subjects. She wasn't sure about when she'd hear back, though she hoped it would be soon, and her family was just as excited, and her cousins in Mexico City, while a distance away, could help figure out where was safe.
"But the program will help with housing too, so I'm not that worried. The area has its issues for sure, but it is well established and trusted in the community, and volunteers are mostly left alone."
"I didn't realize you had family in Mexico City," Edward prompted Bella, loving the way her face lit up when she talked through a smile while talking about her family. He listened as she explained that Rene leaving had been a floodgate of sorts as if their siblings and many cousins hadn't considered leaving their ejido until her mother showed them there was a way. With the world advancing, their family's operations did too, so a few of their family and close business partners were based in Ciudad de Mexico to help ensure their mostly small family operations remained competitive in the market.
As the night went on, dinner turned to drinks, then back to water so Edward would be safe to drive them back to the city. Bella couldn't help but feel he had let her monopolize their time with stories about her family, growing up on the ranch, and her plans for finishing up her last semester.
"Okay, I'm done talking about myself now! And I've been dying to know how the hell you ended up at the city planner's office. Seems like you strayed from your plans of working at an architecture firm in the city."
Bella watched as Edward rolled his neck to ease what she assumed was tension or discomfort after taking a sip of his water. Grimacing, Bella thought she might have hit a sore spot. But as she remembered Edward, he was ambitious and passionate; excited to exercise his creativity. And yet, he was here now at thirty, working a bureaucratic 9-5 that she would never have imagined for him.
"When I moved here, I worked for a few firms. Mostly freelance, until I proved myself or they had the funds to bring me on full time. It was exciting, and I loved it, but not the most stable. This will make me sound like a dick, but I have my trust fund as a safety net, so I was never too worried. Maggie, who didn't know about that money, started to get anxious when I'd be out of work for a week or two. So, when her boss mentioned a brother who worked at the city planner's, one dinner led to a meeting, to an interview, and here I am. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but it sometimes feels like a lot of work, then waiting and getting rejections or requests for clarifications to get anything done. There are talks about repurposing some vacant lots on the outskirts of town into a tiny home village … safe housing for homeless people or whatever, and it's awesome and exciting but a paperwork nightmare."
"Okay, this is super personal, but why was Maggie so worried about money? Maybe this is naive but isn't it more fulfilling to do something you love; something you're incredible at, rather than just focusing on money?"
"Maybe a conversation for another time," he said, glancing at his watch to see they had now been at the restaurant for hours. "As much as I hate what I'm about to say, I should get you home now."
Bella booed his response but agreed. As Edward watched her make her way to the back of the darkly lit restaurant filled with concert posters of Seattle's past to find a restroom to wash her hands before they took off, he admired her form in motion. Whether the dark cloud now threatening his mind was a result of the job he took for security, foregoing his dreams of a creative field, or further acceptance of Bella being unattainable, he wasn't sure. But Edward knew he'd be unpacking those thoughts when he lay in bed alone tonight. As it was, he began to see Bella as some mystical mirror. But when he looked into it, there wasn't a reflection of himself. All he saw were the things that had existed between them and how they could have been.
Driving her home with his hand on the gearshift between, a habit held over even though it had been a long time since he'd driven a manual transmission, he thought of the night of his birthday dinner so many years ago. That evening, Bella had sweetly and shyly reached her hand to where his rested to hold it. Watching her as she watched their hands had allowed something to bloom inside him. And so, as they got closer to her home, their time ending soon, he realized what he wanted most was her company, her mouth on his. If it turned into love, all the better, but he was happy to take his time.
AN:
This chapter and all that follow will be brought to you by Anthony Green & Chino Moreno. Y'all should really listen to sextape by deftones if you don't have it on repeat already!
Always the most thanks to Fran
