Here's some angst! I should probably mention that the fic contains some manga spoilers for an oncoming arc, so read it at your own risk. If you haven't read up to chapter 306, I'd advise you click off. (Unless you're a madlad who doesn't give a shit about spoilers)


Izuku stood in the UA corridors, doing his best to settle his nerves before the upcoming mission, but ultimately failing whenever he recalled the words from the briefing.

Shigaraki.

High likelihood of casualties.

Guaranteed deaths in the field.

Lives lost. Casualties. Deaths.

Failure.

Izuku felt his hands begin to tremble; a side effect of both his frayed spirit and minor nerve damage.

If All Might could still use One For All he could undoubtedly eliminate all the threats in no time, but instead the power was in the quivering hands of a weak teenager who could barely handle half of the quirk's power.

Yet, as much as he wished he could just pawn the quirk off on his mentor and let him do all the fighting, he couldn't.

This was his duty as the ninth holder: to use the power to save everyone.

Then why were his hands still shaking?

No matter how much he tried to pull himself together, telling himself that he had a job to do, his body simply wouldn't cooperate.

He felt so weak - he couldn't control One For All to a sufficient degree and now he couldn't even get a handle on these damn scarred-ridden

"Oi, Deku!"

Izuku stood to attention, clenching his hands in order to force them to stop shaking and looking to the side to see his childhood friend peering at him with his signature smirk.

"You're not chickening out, are ya?" Bakugo asked challengingly, but Izuku chose not to focus on his words.

Instead, he focused on him.

Upright posture, cocky grin and not a hint of concern.

The perfect hero, and exactly who he needed to emulate right now.

Mirroring his stance, Izuku tried to conceal as much of the worry in his voice as he could.

"Nope, of course not." Izuku shot back his own grin. "Let's hope you can keep up with me."

"Hah." The blond barked out before stomping off down the hallway. "Just wait and see nerd."

Izuku watched his rival walk down the hall and couldn't help but call out for him.

"Wait, Kacchan!"

Bakugo stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Whaddya want?"

"I'm…" Izuku stopped clenching his fist, allowing his appendages to shake freely by his side. "I'm scared."

"Yeah, no shit." Bakugo huffed. "Even if you are a weirdo you wouldn't be standing in the corridor for no reason."

"O-oh." He half muttered as he heard the blond's footsteps draw closer.

"Look shitnerd." He placed a hand on Izuku's shoulder and squeezed, inadvertently making the boy flinch at the familiar gesture. "You're strong, so don't go doubting yourself now."

Izuku almost let himself relax at the reassurance before the boy continued.

"You've got All Might's quirk, remember?" Bakugo smiled at him. "Don't go embarrassing the old man by making One For All look bad."

Izuku watched as Bakugo departed once again, waiting until he rounded the corner before taking off in a sprint towards the public bathroom.

Bursting through into a stall, he attempted to use his trembling hands to lock the door, but after fiddling with the latch for a good few seconds he gave up, lunging towards the toilet bowl before vomiting into it.

He simply couldn't handle the overbearing pressure.

There was so much at stake.

Hundreds—no, thousands of civilians.

His friends.

His teachers.

Even fellow pros were in danger, meanwhile he was just a boy with a quirk too good for him trying to protect them all.

In that moment, he briefly wondered what'd happen if he simply passed his quirk on to Bakugo.

He was already strong with his base quirk, and while Bakugo's muscle was more lithe in comparison to Izuku's bulk, he'd still likely be able to handle a good 40% of the quirk, and when coupled with Explosion it'd be a terrific combination.

More terrific than Izuku would ever amount to anyway.

"Midoriya?"

Izuku's eyes widened in shock at the feminine tone before wiping at the excess vomit on his lips and turning around.

Midnight - his modern art history teacher and one of the members of staff that'd be accompanying him on the mission.

"Are you okay?"

He schooled his features before flashing her a disarming smile.

"Y—yeah." No. "I was just…feeling a little ill."

"Ill enough to burst into the ladies' room?" She smirked.

…That explained the lack of urinals when he burst in.

Izuku shakily rose to his feet. "I'm really sorry Ma'am." He bowed stiffly, ignoring the way the movement aggravated his gut. "I wasn't paying attention, and—"

"Don't be ridiculous." She scoffed, placing a hand on his chin to lift him upright. "You're clearly not doing too well, so I'm not gonna get on your case for this."

"Wh—I'm fine, ma'am, really." He did his best to ignore the hand resting on his cheek and convince her, but a simple point towards the toilet was enough to shut him up.

"I heard you from 2 stalls over, there's no use in trying to play it off."

"…Ah."

Izuku felt her hand move from his face over to his mask as she dragged him by the collar towards the sinks.

"Miss Midnight—"

"Nemuri, please." She corrected, opening a tap and gesturing for him to freshen up.

Once rinsing his mouth a few times and splashing his face with cold water, he spoke up.

"Why are you so…relaxed about me being here?" He inquired, to which received a snort in response.

"Everyone sneaks into the opposite gender's toilet from time to time." Izuku opened his mouth to voice his vehement denial when he found a mint lodged in his throat, causing him to choke lightly before swallowing. "But you're not a perv, and even if you were you wouldn't be stupid enough to get caught because of vomiting."

"Was the vomiting thing meant to be a compliment?"

"Well to be honest, I'm here because of the same thing, so take it as you will." She smiled at him, popping a mint into her own mouth.

His eyes widened at the implication. "You mean..."

"I was spewing my guts out too until a few minutes ago." She hopped up to take a seat on the sink's edge. "It's my first time being in an operation this big, and I'm a little worried I got rusty while teaching brats all day instead of doing hero work." She halfheartedly chuckled.

"But that's impossible!" Izuku exclaimed, making Nemuri jump in surprise. "You're easily capable of defeating most villains, and between your intelligence and your quirk you'd be a great asset for any takedown or suppression missions." His voice became progressively quieter as the mini-rant took place until the last word was all but a whisper.

Though that didn't matter all too much when the person he was talking to was under a metre away from him.

"Well you'd think that was the case, but I'm not too into public interaction." She admitted somewhat reservedly.

Izuku simply blinked.

That couldn't be possible, right?

Midni—Nemuri was the arguably the most outgoing person he knew. Hell, she even seemed more confident than All Might, considering the man acted a little awkward at times.

To hear that she wasn't fond of being in the spotlight was pretty hard to believe, especially when taking her hero persona into account.

"Well obviously I'm confident as a hero." Nemuri chuckled.

Izuku really needed to get that damn muttering under control.

"But the truth is that, as Nemuri, I'm a little shy too." She awkwardly folded her left arm across her abdomen, fiddling with the fabric on her right elbow. "The whole reason I forged my hero persona to be so outgoing was so that I could boost my confidence up, and most of the time it manages to work."

Suddenly everything seemed to click in place.

"So, you're saying that it's fine to feel like…well, this?" Izuku hesitantly inquired.

"Sure is." Nemuri grinned, reaching a hand towards Izuku and ruffling his head. "Just remember that I'm probably gonna be bricking it when I'm out on the field, so whenever you feel like everything's beginning to get too tough you're not on your own."

He didn't know why, but he suddenly found it a lot easier to plaster a smile on his face. "Thanks, Nemuri."

"No problem." She hopped off the sink before making her way to the door. "I'll put a caution sign on the door, so feel free to spend as much time as you need in here. I've got some more prep to do."

"Hold on!" Izuku reached a hand out to grab a hold of Nemuri's. "Could we do this again sometime? The talking, I mean."

"Oh my." Nemuri raised her hand to her mouth to exhale a clearly faux gasp. "Holding my hand and asking out an older lady? I didn't know you could be so forward Midoriya."

"Nemuri…" He whined.

"Kidding." She waved off his concern. "Tell you what - stay safe and we might just make this a weekly thing." She paused before throwing him a wink. "Well, besides the vomit. That's a quick way to sour any fun conversations."

"I'll be just fine." He released her hand, his confidence fully restored as he watched her saunter out of the restroom.

When he first burst into the toilet, he'd be lying if he said he expected a pep talk from the hero, but it certainly wasn't unwanted.

It felt…nice to hear from somebody who clearly understood his struggles, without needing to air out any of his dirty laundry regarding One For All.

Bakugo and All Might were his most trusted confidants, and as much as he appreciated their advice it simply couldn't compare to the experience he had with Nemuri.

He could only hope that he could make good on their agreement and survive long enough to make it to their next meeting.


Izuku winded back a fist to deliver a shattering punch before feeling the most excruciating pain he'd ever experienced in the back of his mind.

He chose to simply push through the agony to deliver the smash. Danger Sense just awakened, and while he didn't want to think about it the intensity of the pain likely meant that somebody had already died.

As morbid as the thought was, he couldn't save someone he already failed at rescuing. There were more lives at risk at the moment, so he had more pressing matters to attend to.

It wasn't until a few days later that he woke up in hospital to hear that Nemuri was killed in the battle against Gigantomachia.


After writing this, I'm considering writing an actual Izuku/Midnight fic that isn't an angst ridden mess. She's a really interesting character to write, and the pairing has some really good potential. Time to hope any concepts don't stay rotting in my notes!

I'm also not sure whether to end the story here or make it a two-shot. I've got an idea of how the second part should go, but writing it might prove to be a little difficult.

Plus I've got a couple of other stories to update, so I don't especially want to neglect them in favour of updating this.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed!