Summary : The year is 1974. After being forced to drink a potion, the young Lucius Malfoy has forgotten up to his name. The Marauders, too happy with this opportunity, decide to have a little fun. A Malfoy convinced that he is a muggle is the last thing that could happen in Hogwarts… Or is it ?

Quick reminder of the Marauders names and nicknames :

Moony = Remus Lupin

Wormtail = Peter Pettigrew

Padfoot = Sirius Black

Prongs = James Potter

THE USUAL WARNINGS/INFO :

DISCLAIMER : I don't own Harry Potter, because if I did, all the dumb ideas in this fic would already be in the books ! (I'd also have a lot more money)

WARNING : There are some occasional inappropriate words or crude lines, hence the rating. I'm not dropping the F bomb every other sentence, but let's just say that, in certain circumstances, high schoolers probably wouldn't say "oh fudge"…

I also apologize for any inaccuracies, some are personal choices (namely, the fact that Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape are in the same grade), others are just accidental !

And lastly… Feel free to point out any translation mistakes, I did my best but I may have botched a sentence or two :)

A Snake in Muggleland

Chapter 1 : The Snake knows too much

« Seriously ?! »

The first year Ravenclaw felt a shiver running down his spine as he heard the student he had run into yell those words angrily. Too eager to try out his brand new Quidditch uniform, the young boy had been rushing through the corridors and had crashed into someone. Seeing the green scarf wrapped around the other student's neck, he had realized anxiously that, of all the people he could have plummeted into, he had encountered a Slytherin (visibly older than him, judging by his height). Not a good sign. Knowing that most of the students from this house were filthy rich heirs, most people tried to avoid crossing them. He hurriedly started gathering the parchments that were scattered on the floor, and handed them over to the collateral victim of his excitement with a "sorry"… Which quickly died out in the boy's throat as he met the other student's metallic gray gaze. It seemed luck really wasn't on his side today.

Of all the people he could have crashed into, it was Lucius Malfoy.

The little Ravenclaw was trembling in his robes. Malfoy was well-known in the school as the ultimate example of a manipulative, devious, arrogant and, unfortunately, influent daddy's boy. Those who angered him usually regretted it quickly : not only did his Slytherin minions – harmless on their own, terrifying as a group – obey him perfectly, he also tended to use his parents' authority to get out of trouble. That meant Lucius had near absolute impunity : Dumbledore, though he didn't care much about the boy's so-called Pureblood status, was not looking for unnecessary confrontation, and the Malfoy family had the reputation to be quite lawsuit-happy.

The blonde boy caught the Ravenclaw by the collar and shot him a murderous look. The Ravenclaw boy, terrified of being the target of a vicious curse, was surprised when he felt the Malfoy heir's grip loosen and heard him hiss, apparently deciding that this little idiot was not worth his time :

« Out of my sight. »

The little idiot in question did not wait for Lucius to repeat himself and promptly ran out of there like a scared mouse. Quidditch could wait, he had had his fair share of emotions for the day.


Lucius was walking at a fast pace in the corridors. This clumsy dimwit had worsened his already bad mood… Yes, the young Malfoy was having a terrible day. So far, no one had fixed the plumbing in the Slytherin dormitories, meaning he had had to walk all the way to the Quidditch showers -at SEVEN IN THE DAMN MORNING- in the winter cold, then walk all the way back to the castle for a Defense Against the Dark Arts class during which those stupid Marauders had freed a cursed spirit from a jar, creating a chaos which took half an hour to get cleaned up at everyone else's expense. The Care of Magical Creatures class he had just gotten out of had done nothing to improve his mood : he had spent the past two hours stewing in a mix of unpleasant smells, mud and animal drool, and now his robes were stained by brown splatters which he hoped, without really believing it, to be dirt. He had to change into something clean immediately, there was no way he would spend ten more minutes in an outfit that smelled like a farm boy with strong opinions against soap.

He headed for the dorms with determination. He and Severus were supposed to meet at the library to do some research for their next Charms class, and he was already late. Usually, Lucius would have hurried and apologized for his tardiness (his friend's best quality certainly wasn't his patience) but today, he had had enough, and if Severus had to wait for him, so be it.

Strangely, thinking about Severus nagging him for being late made him smile. His friend had a notoriously hostile personality, but Lucius appreciated his blunt honest, a quality that most people tended to push aside when they interacted with the Malfoy heir. The young Slytherin did appreciate having people groveling at his feet -which was always useful when he needed an ego boost, or simply someone to do his dirty work for him- but he was well-aware that these people only wanted to gain his affection for their personal interest. On the other hand, Severus Snape was a grumpy, lonely student who spent most of his time being angry at everyone and everything, had little consideration for Lucius's high status, and, when he was in particularly bad dispositions, had no problem throwing unpleasant truths at the young Malfoy's face. Though the two Slytherins often butted head due to their mutual stubbornness, this friendship was probably the most honest relationship in Lucius's life. He felt reassured knowing that, if he ever hit rock bottom, Severus would still be there for him -unlike those power-greedy vultures who flew circles around the young heir, ready to stab him in the back at the first sign of weakness.

The Slytherin kept walking, lost in thought, pushing aside a group of Hufflepuffs who were in his way with a distracted flick of his wand. The students, despite wanting to protest, chose to remain silent and keep their eyes down as they recognized him.

It was at the corner of a hallway, about halfway through Lucius's way to his dorm, that he heard some excited whispers coming from an alcove behind a statue. Pushed by curiosity, he decided that late as he already was, a few more minutes wouldn't change his life, and silently got closer to listen to the conversation. He soon recognized the voices of the students who were chatting and frowned : the Marauders… He was already not a fan of the group of Gryffindors, whose shenanigans he considered to be both a safety hazard and a nuisance, but their little performance this morning had left a bitter taste in his mouth. As he contemplated whether he should tell them exactly what he thought of their reckless behavior or simply complain about them to a teacher, he finally got close enough to hear what they were saying.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Sirius…" Remus Lupin sighed. "If we get caught we'll have huge problems, it's not worth it."

"Seriously, Moony ? The exam sheets for the Transfiguration OWLS are right in front of you, and after all the trouble I went through to get them, you want me to simply return them without even taking a peek ?"

"We could just study, you know…"

"Of course we could," Sirius Black replied innocently, "but why waste time studying all these chapters we won't even be evaluated on ? Think of all the things we could do with that extra time if we only study for the right questions ! It's not cheating, it's… Efficiency !"

"Don't try to sweet-talk me, Padfoot, you know damn well this argument is not going to work with me."

James Potter decided to chip in. "But Moony," he argued, "if we only study the chapters we need for the Transfiguration exam, you'll also have more time to study for the other subjects !"

"I don't know, guys…" Peter Pettigrew said anxiously. "Don't you think McGonagall is going to notice that the documents are gone ?"

"Exactly !" Remus replied angrily, growing increasingly annoyed. "Sorry but I don't want to risk being expelled for cheating on an exam that we can all pass with no problems if we simply study !"

"Expelled ? Oh Merlin, if only, that would make my day !"

The four Gryffindors, startled, turned their heads to Lucius. The Slytherin was ecstatic. He had them now ! Even if they only ended up with detention, it would be a nice payback for that morning's mess. Better yet, if they hurt him or threatened him in order to silence him, they would only be digging their own grave deeper. This day was not so bad after all…

"Don't try to intimidate us, Malfoy," Sirius growled angrily. "We haven't done anything wrong yet, the teachers can't punish us for chatting."

"Really ? Even if McGonagall notices that the exam sheets are indeed missing from her office ?" Lucius said with a calculating smile. "So sorry to ruin the party, especially after all the trouble you went through to get them, but as a prefect it's my job to ensure that the exams go smoothly and, of course, report any cheating attempts…"

"Lucius", James started, "I know you don't like us very much…"

"I don't like you at all, really."

"… But think about what you're about to do, please ! Rivalry between houses is one thing, but we could get in huge trouble if you rat us out. Cheating on an official exam… We could get kicked out !"

"Exactly !" Lucius purred. "Fingers crossed ! ~ "

The Malfoy heir, proud of his effect, turned around and continued toward the Slytherin dormitories to change. Such an occasion would never happen again, and he was not about to barge into McGonagall or Dumbledore's office dressed like a peasant. By the way, he thought, which one of his outfits was the most appropriate for a crushing victory on his sworn enemies, potentially followed by their permanent ban from ever attending this school again ?


As the Slytherin walked away with a satisfied smirk, the Marauders started panicking. Each of them could already see themselves, at best, having detention for the next three months, and at worst, expelled without further questioning. Goodbye spells, potions and magical creatures ! All they would be able to do would be getting hired as train conductors at King's Cross and hatefully stare at all the kids leaving for the castle they would never see again… Unthinkable ! After a moment of chaos, Sirius was the first one to speak clearly.

"We need to make sure he doesn't talk to the teachers ! If he mentions that to any of them, we'll spend the rest of our lives in detention !"

"YOU !" Remus growled angrily. "I can't even deal with you right now ! I told you this was a stupid idea, but of course, no one ever listens to me ! Because as soon as there's a train to Bullshitville, you all have got to hop on it, right ?!"

"Moony, please," James said in a tentatively calm voice, "there's no use getting angry. We need a solution or we're toast… You're the brains here, we need you !"

"Oh, so now you need my input ? You know what ? Deal with this yourselves. This is your mess, so when McGonagall shows up, I'll tell her that I had nothing to do with this. You're on your own, and if you think I'll get you out of trouble this time, you can forget it !"

Peter, who had been silently spiraling for the past few minutes, suddenly gasped.

"Forget it… That's it ! The Forgetfulness potions we brewed in class yesterday ! Remus, yours turned out perfectly, right ? If we can catch Malfoy before he gets to McGonagall and force him to swallow some, he won't remember a thing ! Problem solved !"

The other three exchanged a look. It was a risky plan. If they got caught, their punishment could only get much worse, especially considering who they were going against… And yet, they had no other choice. They had to act fast ! James, ever the quick-thinker, decided to take things in hand.

"Sirius, Peter, with me ! We need to find Malfoy before he can tell anyone about what he heard. Remus…" The young Potter softened his tone as much as he possibly could. "I know you're mad at us, but be realistic, the teachers see us hanging out all the time ! Even if you tell them you had nothing to do with our plan, they won't believe you. So will you pleaaaaase go get your potion in the dorms and meet us back here ?" he begged. "We'll bring Lucius here, but if we do this, we have to do it right now and we need you to help us !"

The young werewolf grumbled something that sounded enough like an agreement to satisfy James, who signaled Sirius and Peter to follow him as Remus left for the Gryffindor dormitories. They had no time to lose !

A few minutes later, near the statue, Remus saw his friends approaching, dragging along a very angry Lucius who was trying to wriggle free and occasionally let out a muffled scream.

The three Gryffindors had been careful not to run into any teachers on their way there, but a few students had witnessed the unlikely procession, earning them some shocked looks. In the end, though, all the students had decided to pretend they hadn't seen anything : they had a reasonable survival instinct, and between a visibly furious Malfoy and the human timebombs that were the Marauders, anyone who attempted to intervene would surely not have escaped in one piece… And, they had to admit it, it felt pretty satisfactory to see the blond Slytherin finally get what was coming to him. So, thanks to the lack of interposition, the Gryffindors had managed to drag their victim to Remus without any other problems than the kicking, biting and attempted yelling of the young Malfoy.

"Let go of me, assholes !" Lucius hissed when James took his hand off the Slytherin's mouth. "If you try to do anything to me, my father will hear about it !"

"Oh, but I beg to differ !" Sirius grinned menacingly. "Remus, the bottle !"

The werewolf handed his friend a tiny glass vial filled with a pink potion. Sirius grabbed it and took off the cork, while a frightened Lucius struggled hopelessly to break free from James and Peter's grasp.

"Ok, the memory is less than thirty minutes old, two drops should be…" Remus didn't have time to finish his sentence as Sirius emptied the entire vial in Lucius's throat. "… Largely enough."

James and Peter loosened their grip and the blonde Slytherin managed to take a few steps, coughing and stumbling, under the slightly worried gaze of the four Gryffindors. It felt like his brain was slowly being overcome by a thick fog. He tried to stabilize himself using a nearby wall, but only managed to slide helplessly against it until he found himself sitting on the floor. The ceiling was spinning, and shapes were getting twisted and pulled around him. He shut his eyes for a moment, trying to chase away the headache that he felt coming. Those damn Marauders ! What had they made him drink ? They were so… They were… What were they again ?

"Er… Malfoy ?" tried Remus, slightly worried about the effects that potion overdose might have had. "Are you alri-"

"He's fine !" Sirius cut him short before leaning towards the Slytherin. "Hey, blondie, what did you want to tell McGonagall again ?"

"What… What are you talking about ?"

Sirius looked at his friends with a victorious grin which they reciprocated as discreetly as they could. Meanwhile, Lucius wasn't even paying attention to them : he felt like his mind was trapped in a thick mist, and he couldn't understand a thing. What was he doing here ? Where even WAS here ? Who were these four boys with their strange robes and their red and gold scarves ? And mostly…

"I'm sorry, please, can you… Um… Do you know what my name is ?"

The Marauders, at a loss for words, took a few moments to react.

"What was that ?" James asked.

"I… I don't know what's happening," the Slytherin replied with a hint of panic in his voice, "I don't remember how I got here ! Where am I ? And who are you people ?"

"Is that a joke ?" Remus asked in disbelief.

Lucius did not grace him with a response. The fog which blurred his mind was starting to progressively fade away, only leaving behind a persistent headache… And yet, he still couldn't remember a thing. He rubbed his temples with a pained groan, taking his focus off the four Gryffindors for a moment to try and get rid of that awful migraine. The Marauders took advantage of that change of behavior to slightly step away from the Slytherin and looked at each other, puzzled, with the exception of Remus who was staring daggers at a certain irresponsible friend of his. The friend in question was the first one to talk.

"Alright… Maybe I gave him a little too much – Moony please, stop looking at me like that, it's not helping – but he's bluffing – he has to be ! It was a tiny, ridiculous vial…"

"Of a particularly strong potion, you absolute dumbass !" The young werewolf had to muster every ounce of self-control he had left to keep whispering. "I can't believe you convinced me to be a part of this. Look at him, for fuck's sake ! What's your solution now ? Go ahead, I'm waiting for your next genius plan, dazzle me !"

"We can't leave him like that…" James mumbled. If we send him back to the Slytherin dorms, his friends will immediately figure out that something's wrong with him. We have to give him the antidote, we don't have a choice."

"An antidote ? We don't have one ! And I can't prepare one in twenty minutes, James !" Remus whispered angrily. "Besides, what will happen ? He drinks it and we're back to square one ? Oh wait, it will be worse than square one, actually, because now we assaulted him. Great. Just great."

"I might have an idea…"

"Sirius, I swear to Merlin that if I hear these words coming from your mouth again-"

"Listen to me ! We need two things, an antidote and a way to pressure Malfoy into keeping his stupid little mouth shut after drinking it. And for both these things, we need more time."

Remus rolled his eyes but kept silent. He had no plan, and Sirius, despite being the whole reason they were even in this mess, wasn't wrong. He wasn't fully sure that whatever idea his friend had wasn't worse, but listening to him couldn't hurt… Right ?

"We need to stall," Sirius continued, "but first we need to make sure Malfoy isn't pretending to be amnesiac to get out trouble."

"You gave him twenty times the recommended amount, Sirius. His brain must be mush right now. How would he lie ?"

"You can never be too careful ! Besides, even if he's telling the truth, we need to make sure that he doesn't arouse his friends' or the teachers' suspicions until our ~dear~ Remus is done making the antidote."

"Oh, shut the f-"

"-ortunately," Sirius continued as if Remus had said nothing, "I have a foolproof plan to make sure that Lucius is telling the truth AND that he won't rat us out even after we make him drink the antidote !"

"And if he's lying... ?" Peter asked, worried.

"… At this point, we might as well kill him and dump his body in the lake - I'm joking Remus, don't look at me like that ! For Merlin's sake, you have no sense of humor ! So, are you guys in ? I promise, if everything goes well, this is going to be really fun."

Sirius's question was a simple formality rather than the kind that waits for an answer, and so Remus had no opportunity to ask Sirius what exactly he meant by "really fun" before the black-haired boy approached Lucius with a smile. The Slytherin instinctively crawled away a little, but unexpectedly, Sirius held out his hand to help him stand. After a short hesitation, the young Malfoy took the Gryffindor's hand and pulled himself back up. He was still feeling a little dizzy and almost fell back down, but Sirius caught him and offered him his arm to lean on until he felt better.

"Sorry for the wait ! We weren't sure how to react… You really scared us for a second there !" the Gryffindor said in a falsely kind voice. "It seems you've been hit by an amnesia spell, probably a stray curse during a fight between Houses ! You were lucky we were around. What exactly do you remember ?"

"Um…" Lucius hesitated. "I don't really remember anything, not even my name, or where I am... I mean, I can talk, and I recognize objects but – I'm sorry, did you say an amnesia spell ? What do you-"

"Oh Merlin, you got hit a little harder than I thought… Well, for a start, your name is Lucius Malfoy. And you are a muggle."

The three other Marauders took a step back in shock. What in Dumbledore's beard was Sirius thinking ? A muggle ! The one person who cared about blood purity the most in the entire school, a muggle ! Did Sirius have a death wish ?! But Malfoy didn't seem to question the absurd statement that the young Gryffindor had casually dropped. Even better, he stared at him with a puzzled look before asking :

"Really ? Lucius… Malfoy." He stopped a second to think about it, mumbling the name a few times under his breath. "I think it rings a bell, deep down, though I can't quite place where I last heard that name… Well, thank you ! It's a start !" The blonde Slytherin suddenly realized that two very important questions were still left unanswered. "But who are you ? And also… What's a muggle ?"

James, Remus and Peter couldn't believe their ears. There was no possible doubt about it now, Malfoy wasn't lying : there was no way the Slytherin would have let himself be called a muggle unless his entire education had been erased from his brain. This amnesia was a lot more serious than they had imagined, and they were going to need a very powerful antidote ! But Sirius didn't seem startled at all. He patted Lucius's shoulder reassuringly and flashed him his shiniest smile :

"Don't worry ! We'll catch you up on everything. That's what best friends are for, right ?"


Author's note : There you go, folks ! This first chapter could be considered an intro (after all, you've read the summary, you knew all that !), but I certainly hope it made you interested (and hopefully also made you smile !) :)

Now for some good news : all the chapters for this fic are already written. Bad news : they're in French. So, unless you're bilingual, you'll have to wait for me to translate them (and it's quite a busy year for me). Don't worry though, if you like it so far, more chapters will be coming :)

Trailer for the next chapter :

A very confused Lucius slowly developing anxiety issues, some very mischievious Gryffindors with a risky plan, and a first encounter !

Isyldia, out !