DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Any name, thing, situation and idea mentioned in this story that is similarly related to real life is purely coincidental. NARUTO® belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. No profit is made on the creation of this fic.
CHAPTER 5 : A Proposition
(After a period of explanation, Suigetsu finally accepts Sakura's proposal but not without adding a few conditions of his own.)
He really shouldn't have said anything to that woman.
Hozuki Suigetsu cursed the day that he admitted to that pink haired medic his heart aching and undying love disorder for his blood red teammate.
Now look where it got him. He now stood before the self-proclaimed expert on love and love problems, the master on the joy and wonders of youth, the Leaf Country's resident fashion guru, the Green Beast of Konoha, the one and only Maito Gai, getting advice.
Kami-sama.
He'd rather prostrate himself naked in the middle of the Forbidden Forest than to be subjected to this kind of torture.
"Yosh! Let's start this beautiful morning with a hundred push-ups of love, three hundred back flips of passion and-"
"Alright, alright! Just get it on with old man!" He rudely interrupted the green spandex wearing guy.
Gai blinked his eyes. It appeared that he was having a hard time processing the connection of the words 'old man' and 'Maito Gai' in the same sentence.
"Suigetsu, my slippery boy! I don't know how men in Kirigakure treat the subject of love, but let me assure that we, the noble men of Konoha, treat love as a goddess sitting atop the citadel, a pearl in the deepest part of the ocean, a diamond in the rough! It is but a precious thing we cherish and aspire for-"
What the heck is this man saying?
Suigestu rolled his eyes as he droned out the rest of Gai's ramblings. This is all pinky's fault, he thought. If she hadn't been so loud while "helpfully" ranting about his apparently very poor approach on expressing his affections for Karin, then the Green Pest of Konoha wouldn't have heard whatever they were talking about.
And Gai being Gai, he couldn't just let whatever he heard be. He decided to "help" Suigetsu and gave aqua boy some "free educational sessions on how to properly confess his feelings to the girl of his dreams", as he'd like to call it.
To Suigetsu's credit, he did try his very best to escape his current predicament. Unfortunately for him though, the master of Eight Gates was one dedicated teacher.
"My dear boy, acting like an ass wouldn't help your prospects with our dear Karin-chan." Gai said while sporting his trademark Nice Guy pose.
That startled Suigetsu and he spluttered a loud, "Wha- what?!"
Lee's Bushier Brows sensei pretended not to hear him. "Now, for our training! Let's start with something simple. You see that tree bark other there? I painted it red, so you can imagine that it's Karin! What you need to do is practice confessing your love to that tree bark." Gai exclaimed while grinning widely at the boy in front of him.
Suigetsu's jaw dropped. "Huh?!"
In hindsight, he really, really, shouldn't have said anything to Pinky.
"Suigetsu," Sakura began exasperatedly. "Karin wouldn't notice your feelings if all you do is make her angry and irritated when she sees you." She rested her figure on the largest tree in the area, folded her arms on her chest and looked at Suigetsu. They had just finished their morning exercise, and the sun had started to rise and bathe Senju Park with light.
"Well its technically not my problem she hates my guts you know?" He grumbly countered as he sat down on the tree stump located directly opposite Sakura.
"Actually, " Sakura started. "It is kind of your fault. You see, you always make it a point to annoy the hell out of her whenever you meet."
"Look Pinky, I don't annoy her. She just attacks me out of the blue like a crazy banshee!"
"And why do you think that is?"
"I dunno, cuz she's crazy?"
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Because you provoke her, you dolt!"
"Excuse you! I don't provoke her!"
"In case you're forgetting, I have ears, and my poor ears have been subjected to your love spats for months now." Sakura complained. "So don't tell me you don't provoke her cause I've been an unwilling live audience of your marital show, and it always, always starts with you making an uncouth comment about her appearance, her style, and goodness, all the things about her that I didn't have to know!"
"I don't always make comments about her!" Suigetsu argued.
"Oh, really? Let's see...Hmm...Karin dislikes gyoza, she loves to wear perfumes, she's a cup C, and she has a mole on her upper right eyebrow." Sakura deadpanned as she ticked off an imaginary list on her palm. "Now, why do I know all these things? It's because you've been complaining about them nonstop whenever you visit the hospital!"
Suigetsu had the grace to look sheepish. "So, what?"
"What I'm saying is, why don't you talk to her without insulting her?" Sakura uncrossed her arms and gave Suigetsu a pointed look. "It's not that difficult. Besides, she might see you in a new light if you don't always make angry, you know."
Suigetsu snorted at that. "See me in a new light? Pigs will fly before that'll happen."
"Okay, but what if she already sees you in a different light? What if she's been secretly observing you and just looking for the chance to-"
"Stop." Suigetsu sharply interrupted her. "I know what you're trying to do, Pinky. But it's not gonna work." He warned.
"What? Is it wrong to try and be more honest with your feelings? You might see-"
"Fuck, what is this? A therapy with my psychologist?" He scoffed. "Save your crap cuz there's no way I'll tell her. Newsflash, she hates me and she only sees Sasuke."
"That's not true-"
"It is." Suigetsu smiled bitterly at her. "You don't have to lie, Pinky. I'm not delusional. I know I don't have a chance, so stop making me think that I do."
Sakura balked at that. "Suigetsu, I-"
"Not everyone has a happy ending you know." He chuckled as he broke his gaze at her and looked over the rising sun in the horizon. "And I won't act like a good guy around her just to make her like me. That's not me."
"I'm not saying you'd have to act like a good guy. I just-"
"Just what?"
"I just want you to act normal around her! This! This kind of normal. I mean, we argue and all but you don't hurl mean ass comments to me. Talk to her like how you normally talk to everyone."
"Easier said than done, Pinky."
"I just don't understand why-"
"Why what?"
Sakura appeared to struggle with what she wanted to say, but finally blurted it out. "Why won't you give it a try?"
There was a long pause. Suigetsu looked as if he's quietly contemplating her question. Then, he answered. "Because I know it won't change anything."
A loud thud broke the heavy silence and startled the both of them. Sakura and Suigetsu turned around to find a certain bright green spandex-wearing someone. He grinned at them while sitting on his trusty wheelchair.
"Now what do we have here?" Gai asked.
And that was how Suigetsu landed in this shithole of a situation. He cursed all the gods, who were all probably watching him suffer, and silently wished they'd make Pinky suffer the same way too.
"Stop daydreaming, Suigetsu my boy! The tree bark is waiting."
"Alright! Alright!"
…
It was time for the monthly Team 7 Ichiraku Ramen lunch meetings again and as Sakura walked to get there, she mused on her conversation with Suigetsu earlier.
"I'm not delusional. I know I don't have a chance, so stop making me think that I do."
She had not meant to force Suigetsu to reveal his feelings or make him confess to Karin or something. Honestly, all she wanted was some peace and quiet during her hospital shifts, and that would only be possible if the two annoying members of Team Hawk would stop being stubborn kids and talk like normal adults. She only wanted to nudge him to the right direction, but then their morning talk spiraled into an uncomfortable session of Suigetsu wallowing into the pits of self-depreciation and "not everyone has a happy ending" narrative.
Truth to be told. she could somewhat relate to what he said. She knew first hand how ridiculously stupid it was to confess to someone who did not feel the same, so she couldn't blame Suigetsu for feeling that way. Still, there was something nagging at her that his feelings for Karin were not entirely one-sided.
She went back to the time she saw the redhead looking somber and irritated at the okonomiyaki shop while Suigetsu paraded the streets with a new girl in tow.
Karin had looked so forlorn then that Sakura suspected she might be onto something about the redhead's feelings for aqua boy, but in retrospect, that might not mean anything at all. Karin might have just been tired and annoyed at seeing Suigetsu in general and not seeing Suigetsu with a girl.
Sakura sighed. Was she wrong to think that maybe Karin did like Suigestu despite giving heart eyes to Sasuke all the time? Was Ino wrong in her 'old married couple' assumption as well?
Maybe Karin just wanted to vent out all her frustrations on Suigetsu that's why they fight all the time. And despite her month-long observation on Karin, Sakura didn't find any proof of the redhead's supposed romantic feelings for aqua boy, so what if she was reading too much into it?
Also, Suigetsu was vehemently sure that Karin did not feel the same, so who was she to dispute that? He would be the one to know if there was something, right?
Ugh.
She honestly didn't know anymore. She didn't have anyone else to talk to about this, and she had no male perspective to help her out of her very confusing thoughts.
Wait.
She didn't have any male perspective on the topic. Not yet, at least.
As she neared Ichiraku Ramen an impulsive thought hit her, and she decided to make use of her privilege as the only female member of Team 7.
…
Okay. It was bound to be a very awkward conversation, but Sakura was desperate to get some sort of advice, no matter how deprecatingly constipated or ridiculously out of this world it might be.
So she decided to let the shit hit the fan and proceeded to ask her very 'reliable' teammates a question on the most taboo topic for shinobis: love.
"Uhh..I have a question for the both of you." Sakura stated as she looked at both Naruto and Sasuke.
Sasuke glanced at her and said, "No."
"What?" Sakura exclaimed. "I haven't even asked -"
"I don't need another medical check-up." Sasuke replied in monotone. "And usuratonkachi doesn't need one either." He pointed his thumb at the slurping shinobi beside him.
Naruto paused in the middle of chewing and blurted at Sasuke, "Oy! Don't make decisions for me, teme! I'll gladly take the exam, Sakura-chan! But no needles, injections, prickly, pointed things or other scary objects please!"
She groaned and gave the two a look. "It's not about that!" She said exasperatedly. "I..I need your opinion on something." Sakura glanced nervously at the pair and waited for their response.
The spiky haired Uchiha downed the last of his drink before responding.
"Shoot." Sasuke plainly said while Naruto nodded his head at her, grinning wildly.
Inhale, exhale. This is it, Sakura. No backing down.
"Okay." She began. "So…how do you guys know, if a girl really likes you?"
Sasuke stared, and Naruto blinked.
And after what felt like an eternity, Sasuke replied. "Seriously, you are asking me that?" He asked.
Sakura flushed an alarming shade of pink and said, "No! Not like that! I- I mean like, really like, like really really like! Like she loves you or something-! And not, not like m- ah!"
And I'm rambling. Sakura thought miserably. Crap. Why did she have to ask that stupid question again? Great going, Haruno. A voice in her head said sarcastically. Ask the guy you have lamented on for the past 10 years or so for love advice. That'll turn up well.
Sigh. I truly am, an idiot. She thought lamely.
"You know what? Forget I asked." Sakura said in a dry tone as she banged her head on the table. "Just pretend you've gone deaf for the last minute or so."
Sasuke piercingly stared at her and said, "And why do you need to know that?"
Sakura looked up and said, "Nothing. Just forget it. It's not that important anyway."
"You wouldn't have asked us, especially him," Sasuke emphasized by pointing at Naruto. "about that if it's not important."
Sakura groaned. "Don't remind me. And can you please just let it go?"
"OY! I know that girls follow the guys they like endlessly! Just look at Sasuke-teme's fangirls!" Naruto exclaimed. "They spy on him even when he's in the shower!"
Sasuke glared at Naruto. "Shut up dobe!" He snarled angrily.
Sakura stared at Naruto and raised an eyebrow, "And you know that because?" She asked.
It was Naruto's turn to blush beet red. "I DON'T SPY ON SASUKE-TEME, SAKURA-CHAN! I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!"
"I never said that. And which way do you swing then?" Sakura smirked as she watched Sasuke turned purple, and Naruto gagged.
"I DON'T SWING AT ALL AND YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT!" Naruto accused as he pointed a finger at Sakura.
Crap. Caught in the act. Oh well, looks like Naruto's not that much oblivious now.
"Alright, alright." Sakura conceded. "But that's not what I was asking about. I'm talking about the girls that really know you. You know, the kind that appreciates you even if they see you pick your nose-
"I don't pick my nose." Sasuke said in monotone.
"-or if they smell your fart or something."
"I don't fart!" Naruto butted in.
"Everyone farts dobe."
"Well, I don't!"
Sasuke snorted and looked at Sakura. "So why do you need to know this again?"
"I-, I just-"
"Is it because of a guy, Sakura-chan?!" Naruto cut her off.
Sakura's jaw dropped and when she didn't reply, Naruto said, "It is a guy! Sakura-chan! Are you asking us because you like someone?!"
"What?! NO! I don't like anyone!" Sakura cried out.
"Uh-huh." Naruto said knowingly. "You can't lie to us, Sakura-chan!"
"I told you, that's not it!"
Sasuke fixed his sharp gaze at her and said nothing.
"So, who is it?" Naruto asked mischievously while wagging his eyebrows.
"Naruto!
Now, the interesting thing about Sakura was whenever she got shy and flustered, she would immediately cover it up by getting angry and exploding like an active volcano.
"Look! I just want to know it from a male perspective, okay?!" She angrily claimed while pounding her fists on the table.
Sasuke raised his eyebrow and Naruto gulped.
"Okay, okay." Naruto said while raising his two arms in surrender. "Just calm down, Sakura-chan."
Ugh.
Damn Suigetsu! Why did he have to pester her about this subject in his damning speech about Karin not having an ounce of feelings for him?
Sakura loudly exhaled. "You know what? Never mind." She inwardly face palmed. Asking the two most oblivious guys in Konoha about love was the worst idea that she ever came up with.
I should have just asked Shikamaru or Kakashi-sensei. Sakura thought dejectedly. At least they would be able to give a sensible answer.
"I have to go now. Sorry guys." Sakura grimaced as she got up and proceeded to leave.
She was just a few steps away from the stall when Naruto called after her.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled. "When someone is concerned with my health and well-being, I know that they care for me. I'm not sure if they love me or anything but at least I know they care." He explained.
Sakura skidded to a stop. Typical Naruto. She smiled inwardly.
She rounded back to them and gave him a large grin.
"Thanks Naruto!"
And with that she started walking towards the end of the street.
She was already rounding at the corner when she suddenly smashed against something big. She vaguely noticed that she body slammed against a wall of water and muscle.
Wait. What?
An arm was encircled around her waist and she looked up to find herself eye to eye with Suigetsu's fangs.
"Careful where you're going, Pinky." He said as let go of her waist.
"Suigetsu!" She exclaimed as she not so gently punched his shoulder. "Be careful, my ass! You bumped into me!"
He tried to give her a smirk as he clutched his aching shoulder. "Be thankful I like you. I should have let that poor cement floor meet that sorry excuse of an ass for leaving me with that thick-browed psycho."
Sakura rolled her eyes and asked, "So how did the session with Gai-sensei go?" as they began walking along the street.
He snorted at that. "He tried to make me confess to a red tree."
"He what?"
"You heard that right. He also made me practice "my confession" while doing 100 push-ups." He deadpanned.
"And you did it?"
"What was I supposed to do? That old man is stubborn as hell. Wouldn't let me leave unless I finished that along with 300 squats of passion."
Sakura couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst out laughing at the white-haired man's adventure for the day.
Suigetsu glared at her.
"I'm sorry." She gasped while clearly still struggling to fight of another burst of laughter. "It's just that I never expected you'd actually listen to Gai-sensei."
"I didn't plan to." He grumbled back. "But that old fart is annoyingly persistent."
"Is the confession successful then?"
"Don't remind me." Suigetsu warned darkly. "I feel like I'd have a nightmare tonight just thinking about it."
It was Sakura's turn to snort.
"Come on. As if that would faze you."
"You clearly haven't been on the receiving end of that wacko's sessions, so you don't know anything about it."
She raised an eyebrow at him at that.
You don't know anything about it.
Sakura mulled over her next choice of words. "Yeah, sorry about that."
"Damn right you should be! Wasted a whole goddamn day with that old-"
"And you're right. It's wrong to force something just to make it happen."
"Huh? What are you on about?" Suigetsu stopped on his tracks.
"But you know what? It's not really wrong to try." She said as she looked at him.
Suigetsu stared at her for a long time before exhaling loudly. "You're still on that?"
"Nope." She shook her head. "I'm just rambling. It's up to you to decide on what to do."
"Tsk. As if. I'm sure you're never going to shut up about that."
Sakura rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time that night. "Well, I'm shutting up now."
"Just..." Suigetsu began. "Just don't lump me with that green spandex guy."
Sakura chuckled. "I'll make sure to warn you when he looks for you for your next session."
He visibly shuddered at that and said, "And promise me this. If...if I try properly and nothing happens, you won't breathe a word about it to anyone."
"I promise."
"And you'll stop pestering me about it."
"Yup."
"Then, I'll think about it."
She smiled. "Okay then. My house is just at the end of this road. Good night! "
"Yeah, yeah. Night, Pinky."
And the two parted for the night.
…
True to his expectations, Suigetsu really did have a nightmare about Guy's free educational sessions on how to properly confess to a girl. He dreamt of hundreds of red tree barks squealing Sasuke's name while Konoha's Green Beast shouts orders at him to be more enthusiastic with his "confessions".
So suffice to say, Kirigakure's Second Coming of the Demon was in a really bad mood as he got out of bed the following morning.
Deciding that he'll need to keep himself extra hydrated to survive the day, he was planning to visit the local grocery store for gallons and gallons of water when he heard a sharp knock at his front door.
Begrudgingly. Suigetsu opened the door and found himself face to face with one of the highlights of his dream the previous night.
"Oi." Uchiha Sasuke said. "Let's spar."
-END-
Up Next: Chapter 6: An Observation
(After consecutive instances, where Sasuke catches Sakura and Suigetsu's suspicious glances towards each other, he finally voices his observations to the self-proclaimed orange Hokage of Konoha.)
A/N: I felt bad about leaving this chapter unfinished in my drafts, so I worked my butt off to complete it. I'm still very bad at tenses so please forgive me. To anyone reading this, thanks and hope you like it!
