Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.

Challenges listed at the bottom.

Word Count: 3579


Counting Snowflakes


She counted dust particles.

Not the most interesting past time, but one that did, in fact, pass the time, which was her main aim.

Living forever when you had nothing to do and nowhere to go was quite dull. Eventually she'd move on, but she could pass a few days, a week, a month just counting the dust particles as they floated in the air.

She counted snowflakes.

Counting the snowflakes was more interesting than counting the dust particles at least, if only because with her superior vision, she could see the many patterns of the snowflakes as they fell.

They truly were all unique and it was fascinating to see the infinite amount of snowflakes that were all different, even if only by a tiny fraction.

The mountain range was a better place for her to sit. She was out of the way of all the human trails lower down, and there was a vast amount of wildlife for her to feed on, when the burn became utterly unendurable.

She swam for miles.

The islands weren't as interesting as she'd hoped, and she didn't stay long, choosing instead to return to the mainland.

The thought of returning to her mountain range was tempting, but she decided to explore a little first. She'd learned soon after her change that humans didn't tempt her like she'd be warned, so walking amongst them didn't bother her.

She liked to see the new fashions; even if she wasn't interested in them herself, they were fun to look at, and it always reminded her of Alice.

Except sometimes, being reminded of Alice hurt more than helped.

She was almost eight years into her new life before she met another of her kind. Well. Two of them. They were nomads, and she was terrified until they smiled and greeted her like an old friend.

She stayed with Peter and Charlotte for a few weeks before the itch to move prompted her to leave in the middle of the night with a promise to look them up if she ever came back south.

She'd miss them, she knew.

It had been nice to talk to someone, even if it almost felt like she'd forgotten how. Peter and Charlotte seemed to understand that, and they never made her feel stupid for it.

She liked them.

Wandering through forests became a hobby. She tried to find new plants and foliage that she'd never seen before, adding them to an easily remembered tally in her mind.

She'd also learned more different bird calls than she'd even realised existed before she'd been changed, and she liked to make the sounds when it was silent, to see if any were lingering around.

While they wouldn't come near her, they'd sing back to her sometimes.

Really, it was empty focuses, but she had to fill her time with something.

Wrinkling her nose, Bella paused in her walk. She was in Pittsburgh, just passing through, when she caught a familiar scent. She followed it, a little excited when she came upon Peter and Charlotte.

Their scents were all over a small cabin, set back in the woods, and Peter was sitting on a rocking chair outside the door on a small patio. He waved when he saw her in the treeline.

"Little bit!" Peter greeted, grinning at her. "I thought we might be running into you soon!"

Charlotte came walking out of the cabin, a wide grin on her face. She met Bella halfway between the cabin and the treeline, hugging her tightly. "It's so good to see you, Bella."

"It's good to see you both too," Bella replied softly. "I didn't expect to see you out here though."

"We're visiting with our brother," Peter said, when Charlotte led her up to the patio and gestured to one of the remaining empty chairs for her to sit. "But we prefer to keep our own space when we visit with him. We follow a different diet than his family after all."

Peter's red eyes shone at her and she smiled, nodding her understanding, but then frowned. There weren't many who followed an animal diet.

"Who is your brother?"

"Jasper Whitlock," Charlotte said, taking a seat herself. "Well, Hale now, but he was a Whitlock first."

Bella felt something in her stomach clench, and she bit her lip nervously. "They're here? The Cullens are here?"

Peter and Charlotte shared a glance, and then looked back at her, frowning. "They are. They have a residence a few miles west of here," Peter said slowly. "Little Bit, did the Cullens change you?"

Bella shook her head. "No. No they didn't. They left me though. I wasn't good enough for them to want to keep."

She was glad that Peter and Charlotte hadn't chased her when she'd left, running east as fast as her legs would carry her. She didn't stop until she hit New York, where she could get lost in a crowd.

She knew she'd have to be more careful there, it wasn't really the best place for Vampires, but she kept moving as best she could, her mind in turmoil.

She hadn't been planning to run into the Cullens. While she knew it was likely to happen some time, she'd thought that she'd have longer. America was a big place, after all, and they tended to stay in the same place for a few years at a time.

Not that it really mattered, she supposed, tugging her jacket around her for comfort, rather than for the temperature. They'd made it quite clear they didn't want her, hadn't they?

In fact, most of them hadn't even told her goodbye.

She found herself following a river in the forest. She didn't actually know where she was now, but she didn't really care. Only when she passed a sign on a walking track did she realise she'd found her way into the Appalachian mountain range.

She liked mountains.

The mountains allowed her freedom in a way she'd never felt before, and as she climbed higher, the air around her became lighter. She relaxed.

She was hidden here, in such a grand, vast landscape, where her scent would melt away into the ether and she could be as unhuman as she liked with no witnesses.

She scented them before they arrived. She realised that there was no point in running, they'd be able to follow her scent from so close.

Running would be wasted effort, and she hadn't been on this particular mountain long enough yet. She didn't feel the itch to move.

"Bella? Sweetheart, we've been looking for you for weeks."

She turned her head to smile at Charlotte. "Looks like you found me, huh?"

Charlotte chuckled. "Peter's…"

"He just knew, right?" Bella asked. They'd explained Peter's not-a-gift to her the first time they'd met her. He just knew shit sometimes, random information would pop into his mind from nowhere. Sometimes it was a complete picture, other times only half of the information.

Peter ran to a stop at Charlotte's side, and then dropped down beside Bella. He looked around. "Hell of a view you've got here, Little Bit."

Bella nodded. "It's pretty. I like mountains."

"Why'd you run, Bella?" Charlotte asked, sitting down in front of her.

Bella wrinkled her nose delicately. "I didn't want to see them."

"Can you tell us why?" Peter asked softly.

"They left me," Bella said, repeating what she'd told them before. "I thought they… I thought they loved me, but they didn't. They just left. Edward told me it would be like they never existed, but it wasn't."

"Edward? Wait, you're his human?" Peter asked, then grimaced. "Sorry, I didn't mean that like… Bella, they think you're dead. They had to chase Edward to Italy, he tried to get the Volturi to kill him."

Bella frowned. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he thought you were dead," Charlotte said. "Bella… Edward loves you. He still grieves you, even now. They all do."

"He left," Bella pointed out. "They all did."

"We don't know exactly what happened," Peter admitted. "It hurts all of them to talk about you. But from what Jasper said, they left to protect you. From themselves, from the dangers this life brings."

Bella snorted and pointed at herself. "How do you think that worked out for them?"

Peter and Charlotte didn't leave like she expected them to. They explored the mountain range with her for a few weeks, only trying to get her to talk about the Cullens when the sun had set, and they'd settled for the evening in a cave or on the very tip of a mountain.

It was a month before Bella accepted that perhaps the Cullens did care about her, a further two weeks before she agreed to go and see them with Peter and Charlotte.

They made their way back towards Pittsburgh slowly, some days making no progress at all when Bella's nerves got the better of her.

Through it all, Peter and Charlotte stayed firmly by her side, never pushing, never making her feel weak.

She'd never been more grateful for company in her life.

The scents, while she'd never smelled them as a vampire, were oddly familiar. Bella stood on the edges of the property, taking just a moment to get used to them. Peter had gone ahead to gather the family, while Charlotte stayed with her, their arms linked together.

Bella wondered if it was just for comfort, or if Charlotte was taking advantage of the way Bella couldn't just run if their arms were linked together.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" she asked, fifteen minutes or so after Peter had left.

Bella took a deep, steadying breath, and nodded. "You'll stay with me, right?"

"For as long as you need us to," Charlotte promised.

Peter was waiting for them at the door, and he looped an arm around Bella's shoulders, slowly leading her inside. The house was beautiful, not unexpected, of course, Esme had excellent taste, but there was something less personal about this house than the one in Forks.

Carlisle and Esme were the first of the family that she saw, and she stared at them for a long moment.

"Hi," she murmured, when they did nothing but stare back, venom brimming in their eyes as they seemed to be trying to take in every inch of her.

"Oh, Bella," Esme whispered. She took a step forward, her arms raising and then falling in an aborted movement to hug her.

Bella tilted her head and looked at Carlisle. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

"We just wanted to keep you safe," Carlisle murmured. "That was all any of us wanted; leaving you hurt all of us, Bella."

She bit her lip. "But why no goodbyes?"

"Because we wouldn't have had the strength to leave you behind," Esme whispered. "It already almost destroyed us, but nothing more so than when we thought you were…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

A noise on the stairs drew Bella's attention, and she found herself looking at Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. She looked over all of them, one by one, taking in all of the details she'd missed with her weak, human vision.

They were even more beautiful than she'd believed. Jasper in particular was different, her newer eyes picking up the scars that littered his bare arms. They were the same as the ones Peter and Charlotte bore, only there were more.

She smiled at him and Rosalie, the two of them the only ones that she hadn't felt betrayed by. Neither of them were particularly vocal about wanting to keep her, after all. In fact, Rosalie had been dead set against it.

"How did this happen?" Rose asked, frowning slightly.

Bella looked away. "Just because you left, doesn't mean the danger left with you."

"Bella—"

"Victoria came back for me." She glanced around at them all. "She was going to kill me until she realised that the real torture would be being like this, like you, when you didn't want me anymore."

The Cullens all gave various growls and snarls, but she ignored them. What was done, was done. She'd had time to be angry, but she'd never really managed it. Sadness had been the prevalent emotion.

"Maybe we should… sit," Carlisle suggested, motioning to a door.

Bella shrugged. It made no difference to her. Part of her wished she could sit at the kitchen table and have Esme cook for her, while Emmett played video games in the background and Alice prattled about whatever her newest fashion obsession was.

Just like it used to be.

But she couldn't eat now, and nothing was like it used to be and pretending was pointless.

"Where's Edward?"

She watched the glances they shared, and felt like an outsider. She'd never felt that way with them before, despite being aware that they could have whole conversations without her knowledge.

"He's in his room," Alice said softly.

"He doesn't want to see me?" Bella asked. She looked at Peter. "I thought you said—"

"Edward is in the vampire version of a coma," Carlisle explained softly. "He doesn't know you're here, Bella."

Her frown deepened as she looked back at Carlisle. "What happened to him?"

"He thought you died."

They seated themselves in the living room, Peter and Charlotte each sitting on an arm of the chair Bella had chosen. The Cullens spread themselves across the two sofas.

"Before we go into what's happening with Edward," Alice said, staring at Bella. "You have to know that I didn't know what happened to you, Bella. I can't see you."

"You didn't know?"

Alice shook her head. "I saw a cliff, but I wasn't sure if you'd jumped or not. Edward was with me when I saw the vision, but by the time we made it to Forks, the whole town was talking about your death, and when I tried to see you, I just got… Well, nothing. I swear to you, Bella, we didn't know."

"I can't feel your emotions anymore, either, Darlin," Jasper put in softly. "If I had to make an educated guess, I'd suggest that whatever stopped Edward from reading your thoughts has grown in strength since your change."

Bella could only nod. She didn't know, but she understood that they'd probably know things like that far better than her.

"What have you been doing since the change, Bella?" Emmett asked.

She shrugged. "Counting dust particles and snowflakes."

Peter chuckled, rustling her hair. She gave him a half smile, but then turned back to Carlisle. "What happened to Edward?"

Carlisle nodded. He glanced at Esme before he said, "Alice already explained that after her vision, the two of them went to Forks to try and find out what had happened to you. After learning of your supposed death, Edward took the first opportunity to fly to Italy, where he intended to draw the ire of the Volturi.

"We got there in time to stop him from doing anything stupid and brought him home with us, but he lost any and all will to function. For a while, he hunted when necessary, but since we've moved here, he doesn't even do that. He is, for all intents and purposes, in a coma. We bring him bags of animal blood and force feed them to him once a week."

"I…" Bella shook her head. "I don't understand."

"What don't you understand, sweetheart?" Esme asked, leaning forwards in her seat.

"Why my death would affect him like that," Bella pointed out, as though it was obvious. To her, it was. "He didn't love me anymore, he told me that before he left, and it makes sense, right? That he didn't love me? So I don't understand—"

"Bella, Edward loved everything about you. You were—still very much are—his world," Jasper said quietly. "Whatever he told you in his bid to leave was a lie. He was… heartbroken doesn't seem to encompass the whole of the way he missed you, even just hours after we left."

There was silence for a long moment, and then Bella glanced at the door. "Can I go and see him?"

"Are you sure you want to?" Alice asked. "It's not nice to see him that way and if you still love him—"

"Of course I still love him," Bella snapped, turning her face away. "He was the one who left, Alice, not me."

"I'll take you up," Carlisle said quietly, standing up.

The bedroom Bella was led to was nothing like the one in Forks. Where there had been CDs and books, the shelves were empty. There were boxes stacked but unopened against the back wall, and the only other thing in the room was a black, leather sofa.

Edward lay on it, on his back, his eyes closed and his chest unmoving. He wasn't even breathing, despite it being somewhat uncomfortable even if they didn't need air to survive.

He was still perfect, of course, almost like a male sleeping beauty, if one believed in fairytales.

She edged closer, inhaling his scent. It struck her immediately and irrevocably that he was hers, and no matter the hurt between them, she couldn't leave him now if she wanted to. He didn't react to her presence, even when she was standing right by the side of the sofa.

Crouching down, she balanced on her heels and then gently touched his hand with her own. His reaction was immediate. He seemed to jolt, and his eyes flew open, his head turning towards her as he inhaled heavily.

"Bella," he whispered, staring at her, confusion evident but dulled by the sheer adoration in his gaze. "Bella. How..?"

With a slightly shaking hand, he reached out to cup her cheek. She leant into the touch, closing her eyes briefly as she heard Carlisle leave the doorway, giving them some form of privacy, even if it was impossible with them all just downstairs.

"I hear you're not hunting," she said, opening her eyes to look at him.

He didn't reply, his gaze hungrily taking in every inch of her face. "How are you here?" he asked. "How are you… like me?"

"Victoria," she murmured. "I didn't… I didn't think you wanted me, so I didn't try to find you."

A pained expression crossed his face, and he shook his head. "I could never not want you. I just… I just wanted you to be safe and happy, Bella. That's all I ever wanted for you."

"You are what makes me happy," she pointed out. "When you took yourself out of the equation, happiness became a distant memory for me."

"And now you're here," he whispered. "Can you ever forgive my stupidity? The absurdity of my words when I told you I didn't love you?"

She swallowed hard and lifted the hand she was holding in her own to her lips, pressing a kiss against the palm. "If you promise to talk to me, instead of making decisions that affect us both on your own," she said eventually. "I love you, Edward, I really do, but I can't go back to that."

"I swear it," he said, leaning closer towards her. "I swear it. I could never leave you again, Bella. I simply don't have the strength to live without you."

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and then pulled away, standing up. "You should come and see your family," she murmured. "They've missed you."

She sat on the porch with Peter and Charlotte. They were leaving in just a few hours, and while she would miss them, she was happy for them. She knew they'd been itching to leave for a while, but had stayed until they knew she was okay.

They were wonderful friends, and she loved them.

"We'll come back, Little Bit. You won't even have time to miss us," Peter said, nudging her with his arm.

She snorted. She would miss them, she knew, and she knew that they knew it too. She thought that maybe they'd miss her as well.

Looking up, she smiled when she saw Jasper and Edward approaching from the treeline. It had taken a while for Edward to leave her side even for a moment, but he was doing better. They'd been on a short hunt, only a few hours, but progress was progress, and her smile widened when she saw the grin on Edward's face, and the sparkle in his bright gold eyes.

"You'll be happy now, sweetheart," Charlotte said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "And we're on the end of a phone if you need us."

Bella nodded and then nudged them towards Jasper, who'd stopped walking and was waiting for them near the edge of the grounds. "Go see Jasper before you go. Call me soon, kay?"

"You got it, Little Bit," Peter promised. He hugged her tightly and then they were gone, halfway across the field. They paused for just a moment to talk to Edward, and then continued on.

Bella stood to greet her mate as he neared the porch.

"I missed you," he said, pulling her into his arms. She smiled against his neck.

"I missed you too."

And she had, despite it only being hours, but this time, she'd known he'd be home soon. And that meant more than she could say.