Hello hello! The iCloud gods recently blessed me with the discovery of this old story, i've been editing it up over the past few days and have decided to post. This story really exists in the world of my headcanon, Jace is 29, Clary is 28, and they have two children at this point: Stephen who's almost 3 and William who's about 8 months. In this one shot, Jace and Clary have moved to Idris because Jace has a secured a high executive position among the Clave; this results in an intense workload for him, and a big shift in the roles the couple take on in their relationship. These two always seem to communicate so this comes to a breaking point in the following story! Expect a tiny amount of angst, but mostly smut, and fluff! Enjoy and please review :)
Too Much
"Jace," Clary was very happy that he had finally gotten home. She wrapped her arms around him, but immediately felt her husband stiffen. "I kept dinner warm," she said as she pulled away, noticing the exhaustion on his face. "We could eat together, we've barely spoken all week."
Jace nodded, feeling ready to pass out, but keeping awake for his wife. She was trying so hard. He noticed her cream coloured dress that made her skin look especially soft, the dress also made her waist look so small. But Jace hadn't held her in his arms for long enough that he wasn't sure if that was different. Her hair was down because she knew he liked it like that, she wanted him to be happy to see her. Clary noticed his distance. Though he showed no resilience, she knew he didn't want to eat supper. He just wanted to go upstairs and sleep.
"Let's just go upstairs actually," she said gently, expecting a smile from her husband but receiving nothing. He simply nodded, pulling a stack of papers from his briefcase.
"I'll just drop these in my study," he said softly, Clary tried to smile, but really couldn't. So she headed up to their room alone. She hoped to herself that he wouldn't keep himself up working in the office.
When Jace arrived, Clary had already changed into her nightwear, but was sitting at her vanity and removing jewelry.
"Hey," she said softly, placing her earrings in a nice little box and standing up.
Jace still wasn't answering and she'd be lying if she said that it wasn't infuriating. She tried to let it go. He'd had a long day.
"Baby, you're so tense," she noted, Jace sat down on their bed, sighing and rubbing his temples. She climbed onto the bed behind him and saw how destroyed he looked. Her hands touched his shoulders, he was so far from relaxed and she hated seeing him so run down. "How was work?" She asked, massaging his shoulders softly, but every movement made Jace more tense. She could tell that she wasn't helping and it made her chest feel heavy.
"Fine," he stated, but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself and not her. He sighed again, shifting to move away from her touch.
"Jace-" she started, knowing he wasn't, she wanted to help, she wanted to let him know she was there, she kissed his jaw once and tried to take hold of his hand. "Are you sure?"
"I said fine," his voice was sharp, and for the first time in so long, he'd raised it at her. With that he stood up, almost aggressively, loosening his tie. But Clary was stuck on something else.
He never snapped at her. Clary kept quiet after that and just looked at him, watching as he unbuttoned part of his shirt, pulling his tie off too: he looked warm. He took off his jacket, putting it down on his dresser and wiped his face with his hand.
"I-" she tried to start, suddenly feeling so stupid, she was trying to be such a good wife, she looked after the children, cleaned the manor, made her husband dinner for when he got home late, and even dolled up for him. She felt foolish, and then angry because he was making her feel like that. He had no right to snap. He could be angry, but definitely not at her. She had done nothing wrong. She refused to submit to this sort of treatment, that wasn't the relationship they had.
"Don't talk to me like that," she said firmly, he was her husband and he had no right to take that tone. "It's not fair that the only time you speak to me is angrily." That seemed to knock Jace out of his horrible trance. He stared at her for awhile, Clary knew it was difficult for him to swallow pride. "I can't help you if you won't let me." Finally he spoke again.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice many times lower and slower than it had been. "This isn't your fault." He looked at his wife, he'd been avoiding her gaze since he'd gotten home. She still looked hurt and angry, but she saw how genuine the was being and her facial expression softened. "I'm sorry, Clarissa." He said gently, she tried to look stronger, but that was difficult, she was in pyjamas and her face still communicated her sadness despite her efforts to mask it. "I'm sorry for speaking to you like that." She was wearing this black negligee, fighting clearly wasn't what she'd been planning on. "I'm not angry at you," he stated again, exhaling loudly. "But I'm angry a lot and I don't want it to end up hurting you."
"Well it does anyway," Clary spoke dead seriously. Jace felt beaten, but with good reason. He had to start giving his wife what she needed. "Tell me what's wrong." she said softly. Jace raked his fingers through his hair, he didn't want to talk. But he knew his wife had to be different in that respect. She was the reason he pushed forward, the mother of his children and he loved her so much. If the roles were reversed… he couldn't even picture it.
"I hate this job," he said finally. Moving back to his bed so that he could sit down. That was all he really needed to say, and Clary understood immediately. He hated the paperwork, the rules and he hated not being in New York.
"Is it adjusting?" She asked, hoping she'd understood correctly, they had been living in Idris for about six months, in the grand scheme of things, that wasn't all that much. Jace took her hand at that point, his skin was softer than it used to be. Jace hadn't been hunting in months, he kept up with training, but he didn't practice weapons as much.
"No," he said softly. "It's the people, it's the work that I've got no passion for, knowing that I'm not really making a difference and the days I don't see you, or our sons because I'm too busy," Jace breathed heavily, Clary was shocked. "This workload is ridiculous," he added. "If I want to do everything properly, it feels like… like there's no end." She knew that the lack of hunting was hard for him, she missed him on long days as well, but she tolerated it because she thought he was doing something he loved. He wasn't giving himself enough credit though, of course he was making a difference. Jace was a natural leader and had so much experience. He cared about the work he did at least, and she felt proud that he wanted to do everything properly. He wouldn't say it but he put others first, more so than he'd like. "Are you happy here?" He asked, maybe, he thought, he was being selfish. If Clary and the boys were happy than at least that would be worth it.
Not really. That was her answer, all of her friends were in the city, she'd tried to fit into the social group in Idris, but it was all Jace's colleagues' wives, and they were unbearable. She thought she'd find community being surrounded by other Shadowhunters, but everyone she'd met was so separate from the reality Clary was familiar with. To them, she was Valentine Morgenstern's daughter. All Clary really enjoyed was looking after the children. Compared to the city, Idris was so safe, she could take them out without arming herself, but she had still never felt so alone. She'd never pictured the division of work in their relationship to be so deeply different. She'd never imagined such traditional gender roles being so central in their relationship. Clearly they could make it work, but it didn't feel quite right for her. She almost felt relieved knowing it wasn't working for Jace either.
"Not really," she answered, feeling Jace's hands clasp around hers. Finally speaking honestly was bringing back a feeling of normalcy for her in her marriage.
"I'm sorry, baby, really, I thought this would be good for us," he apologized, hating that the most important girl in his life was unhappy. She did the work around the house, only training early or late because when she wasn't sleeping, she was taking care of their boys and their house.
Jace had thought they'd be so happy in Idris, having their own home and they'd eventually send their children to the academy. They'd give their children a traditional upbringing for Nephilim- something neither of them had had.
He'd never thought they'd barely speak because he only got home late, he'd never thought the Shadowhunters would be so irritating. Furthermore, Jace missed his children, he hadn't played with them for months. He missed his wife, they felt so out of sync. They hadn't made love for weeks, they hadn't even eaten dinner together for weeks.
"Do you want to go back to New York?" She asked carefully, knowing that if they agreed, so much work would have to be done. Jace would have to quit, hopefully on good terms, and they'd have to move their family back to the institute. The Clave may not even place them back in New York, especially if they wanted to be running an institute. But since Maryse had been reinstated as head of the New York institute until the Clave chose someone else, Jace had to think positive and hope they'd still be taken seriously as candidates. It was their work there that had opened the door for this position; maybe they could be reinstated.
"Yes," he answered. "Absolutely." Then she kissed him, they hadn't kissed in at least two weeks. Jace relaxed just after a few moments of their reciprocal physical contact. His hands went to her back, feeling the silk fabric of her nightgown before lifting her onto his lap.
"Then we'll go back," she said simply, pulling away from her husband slightly. She felt his smile as his lips crashed back to hers.
"I've missed you," Clary breathed between kisses, her hand moved up into his hair and gripped his short curls. Jace groaned in concurrence, hiking up his wife's dress to expose some thigh. "I've missed you so much." Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling them closer. Clary's husband was warm, the buttons he'd undone didn't expose enough and she wanted to keep undressing him.
"I miss you too," he groaned, letting his hands fall down and grasp her hips. "Everyday."
Jace brought her even closer to him. He just wanted to feel her everywhere.
"Angel," Jace gasped, Clary looked so good, she felt amazing under his hands, and tasted different than he remembered.
"Jace-" Clary almost groaned much too loudly. He held her waist tightly as she let him slip his tongue in her mouth. He tasted like alcohol. "You taste like scotch." She commented, pulling away slightly.
"Do you hate it?" He questioned, smirking slightly as he squeezed her waist. Clary just shook her head and smiled. "It's very good scotch," he added. "I'll bring you some before we leave." He said, beaming.
"Do you drink at work?" She asked softly, not wanting to judge him, but this behaviour was so unlike the Jace she was accustomed to.
"Just towards the end of the day; a lot of the other executives do." He admitted solemnly, his thumb brushed over her cheek as his hand held her head steady.
"Quit when you're ready, baby, I'll wait, don't do anything you'll regret for us." She squeezed his shoulders. We're not going anywhere," she was talking about them as a family. He wasn't going to lose them, especially not when he made such a conscious effort to provide.
"I'd be ready tomorrow, honestly," he murmured, she kissed his jaw gently, moving closer.
"Whatever you want," she said carefully, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, but maintaining the eye contact. "We'll deal with the consequences, we've been through worse." She put her hand in his hair and tried to calm him. "You can't live like this, maybe someone else can, but you can't, you're needed elsewhere."
"I love you," he whispered, thanking her for reminding him of them and what was really important.
"I love you too," she told him reassuringly. She brushed her hand down his cheek and his neck, she felt his stubble against her fingers. Sometimes he forgot to shave in the morning, Clary didn't mind, he looked good with the short hair on his face. Jace kissed her cheeks, snapping her out of her thoughts, then moved on to her lips.
"It's been too long." He whispered, then he pulled away from her lips and began kissing down her neck. Jace had certainly not forgotten how to please her. His lips were on her neck and Clary moaned, extraordinarily pent up and very sensitive.
"We've- uhh- we've gone longer without," she reminded him. After Will was born they'd gone twelve weeks, he'd been a big baby and Clary had taken a lot of time to just recover from labour.
"Not an area where I'm interested in setting new records," he whispered, his voice breathy and Clary felt his breath on her neck and spread down her shoulder. She found herself giggling at his tone, his hand found his way into her hair and held her steady. Jace brushed his nose over his wife's shoulder, noticing the strap of her short nightgown and wanting to remove it. "I like this dress." He murmured, kissing her shoulder, then brushed the strap down her arm.
"You bought this for me," she gasped, reminding him of her birthday just before they had moved, feeling his tongue on her collarbone. Jace smiled and nipped at her skin.
"You look very good in black," he mused, then he kissed her lips. "You look good in everything," he added, making Clary smile. "And you look extraordinary in nothing."
"Jace-" Clary loved this, but she was growing impatient, he'd been rubbing her thigh gently for that past few minutes and she wanted him to start focusing. She pushed her chest a little closer to him, silently asking him to touch. "C'mon." She urged, begging for his attention.
"Right," he said quickly, with that he lifted her. Clary didn't really know how, but she wound up underneath her husband with her head on her pillow. He finally pushed the front of her dress down, fully exposing one breast. Jace groaned and gently rubbed a thumb over her nipple before placing his mouth on her.
"Jace!" Clary spoke quickly, remembering something. "I'm still breastfeeding-" before Jace could process that, he tasted her milk. It was sweet and thin and Clary wasn't sure how to react. She just didn't want to stop. Jace knew that his wife was self conscious about her breasts. When they were younger it had been because she found them small, but after having two children it was because of the small stretch marks that plagued the skin around her chest. He loved making sure that she knew he found her completely beautiful. He didn't even dream of other women.
He didn't take too much, he didn't want to take away from their child's only food supply. Clary giggled as Jace pulled away. He kissed her collarbone twice and started pushing up her dress. "I should've said you're still sharing." Clary whispered, Jace laughed too, rubbing his palm over her other breast, he pressed multiple kisses on her breasts, nipping the skin lightly and revelling in the way her breathing hitched when he pulled away between each kiss. He groaned when he saw that her dress was hitched up past her hips; she didn't have anything on underneath and Jace hadn't seen her like this in weeks.
"Darling," he said, letting her know she'd have to move in order for him to remove her nightgown. She complied and Jace threw her dress to the floor. At that point his wife was naked and Jace felt more intoxicated at the sight of his bare wife than by the scotch he'd been drinking. "You are gorgeous." Clary blushed, it felt like he hadn't seen her properly in ages.
"This isn't fair," Clary whispered, referring to the uneven amount of clothes being worn. She pushed her husband's shirt off his shoulders and frantically started undo in his pants. "Oh my god, you smell good." She gasped, she felt Jace chuckle when he heard her voice. Jace kissed down her chest, kissing between her breasts and down her stomach. His wife arched her back, forcing herself closer to him. He was certainly not complaining. Clary pushed her hands to remove her husband's briefs and let him kick them off.
"Do we need?-" his voice cut off and Clary pressed her lips against his. She knew what he was asking, he was asking if she wanted him to wear protection. Jace knew she had told him at one point recently, but he honestly couldn't remember. That just demonstrated how out of sync they were, normally they were close, they spoke about everything, including birth control.
"No," she said surely. "I've got the rune." Jace grinned and started kissing down her neck again. He knew that that was the quickest way to make her groan.
He realized she'd probably told him that she had taken precautions so that they'd sleep together at some earlier date that month. He'd been in such a stupor from work that he'd not acknowledged her. It had been quite awhile, but they had agreed on avoiding another pregnancy at least for awhile- but he knew that celibacy was not what they'd meant.
That's when they heard a noise, a soft cry coming from just across the hall. Jace started to get up, graciously taking the job even though he'd much rather stay where he was.
"No-" Clary whispered, pressing her hands on his back. "Don't go. He mostly stops on his own." She told him, being honest: at this hour Will would normally wake up, cry out, roll over and fall back asleep. The couple stayed completely still and silent until surely enough the soft sounds stopped.
"Thank goodness," she breathed, gasping as Jace started moving again, grinding himself against her and pressing their lips together. "Please." She didn't like the way her voice sounded, but she hated having him make her wait. "Ugh-" she gasped, seeing her husband's eyes flicker to hers and ask for permission. Clary gave him the look that said stop asking.
"Oh!" she cried. Jace thrusted into her. She felt him for the first time in months, and she had no resistance to him. She'd been so aroused that he filled her comfortably, only initiating the sure build in pleasure she was about to experience.
"Clary..." He moaned loudly. His wife's arms were around him, her hands pressed on his shoulder blades. She felt every single tense of his muscles as he moved their bodies together. He loved the feeling of just them. Nothing between them, material or mental. "You're incredible." He groaned shortly, his head was tucked into the crook of her neck. The couple let themselves relax when they did this. Melting into each other and fading and building at the same time. "You're so..." he groaned, listening to her high pants and focusing on their movement. "You're so incredible." He could barely speak, but he hadn't been speaking to her for so long that he could hardly hold the words in once he thought of them.
"Jace-" she was whimpering, slowly bringing her legs up, allowing him to thrust deeper. "Use your hands." She told him, it came out pleadingly, she wanted to orgasm and she wanted him to bring her there. He complied, shifting their position by keeping Clary on her back and lifting his chest up so that he was upright. Although they lost a level of closeness with this change, Jace now had a broad view of her entire body, and was able to bring his left hand down to start rubbing her carefully. If she hadn't expected it, she would've screamed, it felt extraordinary. Jace knew her body so well, he was considerate and prideful, which meant that she almost exclusively orgasmed first.
"Clary- Clarissa-" he moaned, thrusting slowly, but intensely, they were hot and it almost felt like they were burning together. He continued the moving of his fingers and keeping her building towards her orgasm. She looked incredible, from the new angle he saw that with each thrust her body shook, recoiling with him and expertly rocking their hips together as they rejoined. He watched her breasts, reacting with the rest of her body as she moved, her left breast marked by his lips. He watched her face, holding the expression that wavered between overwhelm and concentration; and most importantly she was watching him too. Jace couldn't choose where to look at her because every part of her got him more riled up. He could tell he would not last long.
Finally, Jace couldn't hold on any longer and cried out for his wife again. "I'm close," he gasped, one hand grabbing her thigh while the other kept between her legs.
"Let go," Clary offered breathlessly, she wasn't where he wanted her to be. Jace could've unraveled right there when she said that, but because he was stubborn held on to make sure he didn't finish before her. He slowed his own pace as to mitigate the pleasure he felt while continuing the expert work on her clit. "Jace!" Clary felt ecstasy burst through her system, she hadn't felt that amazing for much too long.
Within seconds Jace followed, he really couldn't hold back once he felt the effects of Clary's orgasm, spilling into her as pleasure racked through his body. He exhaled heavily, letting himself lean forward to rest his weight on his forearm and left hand for a few moments as he caught his breath. He pulled out, but kept her extremely close as he lay down beside her.
"I love you," he murmured, pressing kisses on her neck. Clary let him pull her closer as she kissed his chest.
"I love you too," she assured him, watching as his eyes slunk down her body. Clary didn't feel self conscious in front of him. That would be ridiculous, she was still out of breath and still felt her orgasm calming. "That was... much needed." Jace's exhale turned into a relieved laugh.
"I'm glad," he grinned, feeling the same. "By the angel," he was still panting, feeling completely on top of the world, he'd been so busy he hadn't realized the effects of his own pent up sexuality. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. He was so in love with the women beside him. How had he let himself forget that? He pulled the blankets up to cover their tangled bodies and felt Clary's head resting on his chest. Once they'd regained their full consciousness and the world had come to a full stop, Jace spoke again.
"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, gently holding her head steady, almost reassuring himself that she wouldn't move. "I should be here for you. Not out there, spending all my time with people I dislike." They had been so happy in New York, why had they put that in jeopardy?
"I know," she said softly.
"What have I been missing?" He questioned, he felt like he had missed so much. He could barely believe that he had let it get that far.
"I've got the contraceptive rune again," she told him. "So you don't need to ask next time." Clary felt him pull her just a little closer.
"I'm sorry that I forgot," he whispered, Clary smiled.
"Stop apologizing," she felt her husband squeeze her waist as she said that. She saw that he had actually taken in the information.
"Never," Jace laughed, turning his head into the crook of her neck to kiss her. "Not until I stop messing up."
"Your boys miss you," she murmured, letting herself rub his chest. "Steph's always asking when you'll be home." Jace's felt his heart clench in his chest, everything had been so cloudy in his mind he'd barely been able to think about his sons.
"I miss them," he replied, "I don't know why I'm letting myself miss these days with them."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, darling." She pressed a kiss on his shoulder. "You're sacrificing so much for us, for the Clave…" she yawned mid-sentence, usually by now she was fast asleep and Jace was only just getting into bed beside her. "You're doing such important work; you're Steph's biggest role model." He felt her smile as she pressed another kiss on his chest. Her hand stroked his pectoral muscle, feeling the blond hairs that were on his chest. "Once Will can understand what's going on, you'll be his too."
Jace smiled, squeezing his wife's waist gently, he turned to face her, about to reply, but she was getting up to head into their ensuite. "I'll be right back," she said softly. "Don't pass out without me." She asked.
"Of course not," he said, truthfully he was at least glad that she was always in bed once he was home from work. He could hardly fall asleep without her beside him.
Clary came back into their room, back in the nightdress Jace had removed earlier, she couldn't really fall asleep naked now that she had a son who would run into her room once he was awake. Just as Clary settled in beside him, they heard the soft, but persistent cry of their younger son across the hall. This was different from earlier, stronger and unyielding.
"I'll go get him," Jace offered, Clary shook her head.
"He always gets up to nurse around this time," she said lightly.
"Bring him back with you," Jace suggested. They were no strangers to co-sleeping, and had even kept a crib beside their bed when they lived in the Institute. Since moving to the Herondale manor however, they'd taken advantage of the nursery that was just across the hall from the master bedroom. But Clary still kept the co-sleeping crib in their current bedroom just in case Will had a night where it was easiest to be beside him. Jace truthfully just wanted to see his son, he felt particularly disconnected from Will. He also didn't want Clary having to get up to tend to him throughout the night. While Clary was going to collect Will, he put on a loose pair of sweat pants and made sure the crib was safely beside their bed. A side of the guardrail had been removed so that the baby was easily accessible and Clary wouldn't even have to get up to nurse.
She returned to their bedroom and adjusted her pillows against the headboard so that she could sit up to nurse in bed. She got into bed beside her husband, slipping the shoulder strap of her négligée down her arm to expose her breast for her crying baby. She put a pillow on her lap and placed Will down softly, he was getting to be a big baby so actively holding him all night was a strain on her right arm. Jace kissed her right shoulder and moved closer beside her, watching as his son latched on and the noise of his cries were stopped.
"What's he been like recently?" Jace murmured, the baby's eyes were already starting to drop shut as he was being fed and becoming comfortable again.
"Not as fussy as Steph was," she smiled, "and he follows him around everywhere, Will can't quite walk, but he's pretty fast at crawling; which is adorable but Steph is funny because he sometimes just likes his own space… Will's honestly a bit rambunctious." Jace chuckled.
"Steph's the serious one?" He questioned, Clary laughed gently. "That's what it seems like. A little anxious too, or maybe high strung is the better way to say it." Neither of them had had siblings growing up so watching their children take on their own personalities and the way they built off each other was entirely new and incredibly interesting.
"I'll take the day off tomorrow," Jace told her, brushing his thumb over sleepy Will's cheek. "I want to see all that for myself." A smile broke out on Clary's face. A family day sounded perfect.
Jace was awoken by a thud on his side of the bed, then an unfamiliar cry.
"Mama!" Stephen was crying on the floor. Jace sat up, quickly discerning that his eldest child had just fallen off the side of his bed. Clary groaned beside him, having had to quickly change position on the bed as Jace had moved.
Jace leaned over, easily lifting the nearly 3 year old boy off the floor before sitting up on the bed with him. He glanced over at the clock on his beside table, it was just about to be quarter past seven: usually he was in his office at this time.
"Dada!" The boy's face lit up, despite the tears rolling down his cheeks from the fall he took.
"Stephen likes to come wake me up if I sleep in," Clary said groggily, smiling as she watched her husband and first born. Messy blond curls from a night's sleep on both their heads. Jace was checking the boy over since he'd taken a tumble.
"Where'd you fall, Steph?" He asked, "Here?" Jace's hand tracing the boy's head soothingly.
"No." The boy shook his head, clearly loving the affection from his father. "My arms!" He giggled when Jace pressed kisses on both arms intermittently, he was clearly not injured and just taken by surprise by the fall. Usually Jace's body was not there when he tried to climb up.
"Good morning Steph," Clary said lovingly, she sat beside Jace, leaning forward to kiss her son's cheek.
"Hi mama," Stephen was just excited to have both his parents full attention at once. Clary lay back down, and watched as her husband entertained her son. Soon enough Will woke up beside Clary and the family followed the motions of the morning all together.
