In the back yard, there's a grill. It's full of ashes. They're not cold yet...but they're getting there.

Nearby, four big pots of chili have been emptied. They still smell very good. Someone here made quite a javelina out of himself, gluttonizing their ex-contents...

Inside, the trash cans are full of empty bean cans. They were red and white beans. They went into the chili, when it was made, of course.

In the master bathroom, the master takes a bath. He's SO relieved, to be away from his kids. These days, Mads, his daughter, is a lot more critical of his behavior than she's ever been before. Either she's finally met the right kind of boyfriend, or she's been going to the Spanish missions behind his back. If he's even less lucky, she's been flirting with the Mormon boys... She sure can't seem to stay out of guys' pants... But then, she bears the likeness of Alice Greczyn, doesn't she?

This is Alec Rybak. He bears the likeness of Adrian Pasdar. In life, he's been a very bad boy. In many ways, he hasn't stopped.

That is some very strange fluid, he bathes in. It looks like liquid metal. It doesn't stay in the tub; not even when he's not moving around.

As he bathes in this dangerous-looking substance, Alec has pleasant dreams of mischief. Every other one hardens him. At least his bath water is humane enough to keep those covered for him.

On end tables nearby, framed photos sit. One is of him and some woman who bears the likeness of Charisma Carpenter. Another is of him and a woman who bears the likeness of Liv Tyler. There's a LOT of green, in that photo's backdrop... Another framed photo is of him and a woman who bears the likeness of Stacey Farber. She looks very intimidating, and has yellow-glowing eyes... It might just be some new kind of red eye...but it's hard to tell.

As Rybak bathes, a girl walks in on him. She's Goth. Her hair is raven, and bobbed. She's got body piercings all over...and steel jewelry to show for it. She's got tattoos; a lot of them look very rude. (Rybak wouldn't think so, though, of course.) She wears no pants; just a black A-shirt and dark gray panties.

"Ugh," she makes a revolted face. "What is that macabre substance that you bathe in?! It looks like mercury." She blinks. "Not that I'm ENTIRELY criticizing, understand..."

Without opening his eyes, Rybak giggles. "It's gravitonium. It's the best thing invented since reality. If I bathe in enough of this shit, I'll be so weightless, that not even the fucking IRS can hold me down."

Rowena Ghostpants, the Goth chick, nods her head...and thinks. She smirks. "Be right back." With that, she takes her leave.

In her absence, Rybak basks in bliss. He's almost one, with the gravitonium. He'd like to think that he's finally met the wife who'll forever help him get over Rebecca Sewell...and every other woman he's ever wronged.

Rowena comes back with her pet python. She wears it around her neck like a scarf.

"I've always wondered," she mutters, getting closer and closer to the edge of the tub, "if this guy would move more like an eel, in midair, if he possessed the powers of Graviton..."

At the word "eel," Ryback cracks his eyes. And he panics, as soon as he realizes what Rowena's about to do with her pet python...

"NO, YOU WHORE! DON'T FUCKING DROP THAT THING IN HERE WHILE I'M...!"

Too late. She pitches the snake into the levitating liquid metal. Involuntarily, Ryback leaps from the substance.

As he barely expects, he's now weightless. He builds a hole in the house roof, and shoots like a rock across the skies of the Phoenix suburbs.


This is a better-financed neighborhood. The Randall family lives somewhere out here.

Weightless, Rybak drifts around in the sky. As any bimbo can see, he's still learning how to control his new powers. He's certainly no Iron Man. Or, is he?

Now, he levitates upside-down. He's doing it right over the Randall mansion.

He heaves a sigh. Shit; he's stuck up here.

Speaking of what, his colon starts irritating him. He sighs. He knew he shouldn't have had that chili... Or in the very least, not those red and white beans. Seriously; it's like he forced Slavia to go to war with itself, within his chili, all over again. Now it might very well be at war with itself inside his colon.

Rybak soon realizes, too slowly, that he's upside down. And he's virtually doing the splits, up there. His ass is pointing right up. Which means, of course, that if he farts, the energy will go...

Too late. He farts. The fart turns him into a downward-shooting rocket. Before he can save himself, he finds himself plummeting right towards the rooftop of the Randall mansion...

Inside, Nisha Randall is at her own bedside. Aside from Sutton Mercer, she's the most popular girl at her high school. At that, some wouldn't believe that she's black. (Not that I'm criticizing; I've had crushes on plenty of R&B stars, both of my time and the Gen-Xers'...and, quite possibly, the baby-boomers', as well...) Alas, Rybak's a different kind of man. To him, a black woman would make a better whore than a wife. But then, rumor has it that Rybak has never met a woman who'd make good wife material; not even Mads's mother.

"Goddesses of popular girls everywhere," Nisha prays, "bring me a man. Make him political. Make him greedy, with world-conquering ambitions. Make him so dark, that he'd put any boyfriend of Sutton Mercer's, Apache cur or otherwise, to shame. Make him..." She hesitates. "Make him a bastardization of Morgan Edge from the DC universe, and Franklin Hall, Tony Stark, and Glenn Talbot from the Marvel one. (And I DO mean the Talbot from Agents of SHIELD...)..."

Right on cue, the gravity-distorted Ryback falls right through her ceiling, screaming. He hits his head. He doesn't get knocked out.

Nisha turns...and beams. "O my god! He's here! And what do you know?! He looks just like Mads's dad! O, I'm going to have SO much fun waving this in Mads's face!"

She gets up, and charges Ryback. Rybak sees her, and panics.

On the floor, she tries to rape him. Rybak struggles to get free. She doesn't make it easy for him.

"O, we're going to have so much fun," Nisha shouts. "I'm going to take pictures, and wave them in Sutton's face! And Mads's! When that happens, and I hang them up all over the school for all of Phoenix to see, NO one will ever look at Sutton or her peeps as if they were fucking queens ever again! It'll be all about Nisha now! Nisha the Great! Nisha the Magnificent! Nisha the fatherfucking bitch who always gets what she wants...!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME," Rybak shouts, "YOU NIGGER! I AM YOUR BOSS! I AM A TAXPAYER THAT KEEPS POOR LITTLE BLACK GIRLS LIKE YOU FROM GETTING RAPED...WHATEVER GOOD THAT ACTUALLY DOES! I WOULDN'T MARRY YOU IF YOU LOOKED LIKE A WHITE GIRL! NOW GET AWAY! STAY AWAY! LET ME GO BACK HOME TO MY KIDS...JUST AS SOON AS I GO TO THE PHARMACY AND GET SOME PEPTO-BISMOL FOR THIS CHILI!"

At long last, he fights her off, and runs. He runs downstairs, tries to ignore the baffled looks of Nisha's relatives, and leaves out the front door.

Lying on the floor of her bedroom, Nisha only sighs, and shakes her head.

"Damn," she mutters. "I was so close! I could swear I enlarged his dick to 105% its usual size..."