A brown and white puppy, and a green broach, like the colour of his eyes.
That was all Violet had left of Gilbert. That, and his last words he ever spoke to her.
I love you
Felix had said those words as well. Not to Violet, but when he spoke of Katrin, lead singer of the Opera in the Capital City.
I love you, Katrin
I love you, Violet
I
Love
You
It was only three simple words. But she couldn't understand them. She wracked her brain, for hours and days, trying to find any solution to the problem.
There wasn't one that made sense. She had her training, her knowledge, understanding of war. There are nine pints of blood that the heart pumps into the body. Bleeding from an artery results in death within three minutes. To stem bleeding, apply a tourniquet above the wound, and evacuate the patient to the nearest field hospital.
But none of this knowledge is applicable to the question that pounded in Violet's mind like the hammering of artillery shells on the battlefield.
What do the words 'I love you' mean?
It was well past midnight. The children in the Hodgins' house had been asleep for several hours. She did her best to be to quiet. She tiptoed to the kitchen, poured a glass of water, and tiptoed back into her room. A small candle was her only light in the moonless night. A gentle summer rain was pouring outside the window, hiding the moon behind black clouds.
Felix's story was largely complete. It hadn't taken much work on her part. The story was crafted with his words, as she told him the first day she met him. The only real challenges were making the words into something readable. And trying to contain her guilt.
She was responsible for his imprisonment. Because of her actions, Felix had lost his foot, and had in turn been called a coward by the Fat Colonel for retreating from the enemy, in an attack meant to support the advance of her SSB unit. And she had killed his only two remaining friends, Gustav and Karl.
The night was clearer in her mind, after she stopped to think about. Gilbert had given Violet her orders.
If everything goes as planned, this will be the perfect position for you to cover us, Violet.
Yes Sir! What are my orders?
The enemy will be retreating in a southern direction. Fire on anyone that you see coming from the North. Don't wait for my orders, alright? Fire as soon as you have a clear target.
She closed her eyes, and the sounds of that night filled her ears. Guns, explosions, shells.
Screaming.
Men screamed in fear and anger. Even the calmest, most educated man would scream if the situation was right for it. And it would primal screams of fear, anger, hate.
And regret.
A single tear dropped down from Violet's eye onto the page. And the tear stained a sentence that was, to her, one of the most important in the entire story.
I love you, Katrin
She tried to push down that feeling of regret. She pushed, as hard as she could. But it wasn't going away.
Violet had many friends now. Isis, Hodgins, Benedict, Cattleya, Lux.
And Felix. Felix had asked her if they were friends, and she said that if he thought it would better serve their work, he could consider her a friend.
But it was more than just work now. Felix understood Violet. He had made her happy, sad, angry and regretful, in the space of three days. Felix made Violet laugh, made her furious, taught her about music, and the sea.
And she had made him sandwiches and coffee. She taught him the meaning of words, like rhetorical, and climax. She taught him the word aquamarine, the colour of Katrin's eyes.
And Felix had helped try to answer a question that was as haunting to her soul as the regret she felt in heart.
"Being in love? I guess it means when you care about someone. More than just a friend or a comrade though. Like that person is the most important thing to you"
She felt that way about Gilbert. She always would. The feeling wasn't exactly the same as it was with Felix. Perhaps, not as strong, or as deep. Felix was her friend. Maybe a best friend, as Isis had once described Violet to her family.
And another tear joined the first on the stained page, as the rain dropped outside her window in the moonless sky, with only a single candle to light her room.
I don't want my best friend to die.
