Ais took one last look to make sure that her outfit was perfect. Her brown skirt was not slipping, her black stockings had no holes or tears, and her white turtleneck was comfy and snug. Everything seemed to be perfect. She had also chosen to forgo wearing her contacts if anything crazy happened. Instead, she wore her rectangular glasses. Everything was ready for her first hang out with Bell's roommates!
She knocked at what she hoped was the right door. After all, she had followed Bell's instructions to the letter. It took a while, but she had finally stumbled across his apartment building in one of Orario's quainter boroughs. She had asked how he managed to afford the rent, and he just responded that it had been controlled by his aunt, who was no longer with him. That had been explanation enough for Ais, and she wanted to avoid pushing the subject when he was obviously uncomfortable.
Instead, she knocked on the red wooden door, it's metal 6B starting to rust and show signs of age. There was a scramble on the other side when she knocked, and she thought she heard muffled voices. One of them sounded like Bell. Eventually, there was quiet, and then the door got thrown open.
Standing in front of Ais was a tall man with short, spiky, red hair. His grin was enormous, and he smelled like motor oil and fire. However, he didn't smell bad, and Ais already felt herself start to relax in his presence. Was he one of those big brother types that she had heard about all the time?
"Well, you must be the girlfriend," he said, voice like an engine. "It's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Welf Crozzo"
He stuck out his hand, and even if Ais saw oil under his fingernails and soot on his palm, she would shake it. His grip was firm but not too tight. He ushered Ais inside, and she took a second to finally get a good look at Bell's home.
The place was plastered with memories, photos covering almost every foot of the walls. And any part that didn't have pictures had bookshelves that were absolutely bursting with literature. Ais felt her smile grow and soften when she saw a lot of Bell's favourites. Of course, he would have a library for a living room. There was also an old couch with a nice tv in front of it, and…were those bits of metal all over the place?
When she noticed those, Welf gave an awkward chuckle while scratching at the back of his neck. He explained that he liked to tinker and apologized for the mess. Ais waved him off.
"Where's Bell?" she asked when she couldn't see him.
Welf rolled his eyes before leading her to the kitchen area, hidden behind a wall. The source of the muffling from before was made clear. That was when Ais found her boyfriend pinned to the ground with his arm behind his back. On top of him was a relatively short girl with messy brown hair. It looked like Bell also had a gag in his mouth, but he spat it out when he saw Ais. When he opened his mouth to say something, the short girl beat him to it.
"Bell, you need to worry less about your girlfriend and more about what happened to my coffee!" said the girl.
"I'm sorry, Lili! I didn't mean to pour out the pot! I just thought it was time to clean!" wailed Bell on the ground.
"I bought that from Peru! That was the last of it, Bell!" replied Lili. "Can you think next time before you throw my stuff out!"
"Alright! I'll make sure to ask! I'm sorry, ok?" said Bell.
The girl, apparently named Lili, seemed to consider it and then looked up at Ais. Finally, she got off of Bell and returned to the kitchen. She grumbled the whole time before setting up another pot.
"Fine, I guess I've emasculated you in front of your girlfriend enough for today," said Lili.
"Um, you do realize that it's the evening, right, Little Bit?" asked Welf. "Isn't it a little late for coffee?"
"Who the fuck are you, the coffee police?" retorted Lili. "Besides, with the night we're probably going to have, I'll need the energy."
Well, that was undoubtedly an ominous warning and one that made Ais feel just a little bit uneasy. Bell quickly pulled himself off the ground and rushed over to placate her worries.
"Lili's just joking!" he cried. "She's just like that sometimes when she gets a bit cranky."
"Which is all the time," added Welf.
The fridge door slammed, making everyone jolt. They turned to find Lili standing there, hands on her hips.
"If you got something to say, glorified plumber, say it to my face!" replied Lili.
Welf's mouth narrowed into a thin line.
"You're a pent-up package of spite that's still angry because she's all alone while her friends are getting relationships!" said the large man.
The two began to argue in earnest then, and Ais watched. Her golden eyes darted between the two as they traded barbs and insults. She looked to Bell to ask him what was wrong, but he just wore an uncomfortable smile.
"Sorry about them; I swear that they're actually very close," he said. "Do you want to sit in the living room for a second while I go get changed?"
Ais nodded, leaving Lili and Welf to continue bickering. Bell sat her down on the couch, which sank with her weight. She knew it was old, from how the dust seemed to jump up. The sofa was a pale blue, with room for at least four other people as it curled into an L. Bell gave her the remote and told her to put on whatever she liked. So, Ais put on some dumb anime about a clueless boy and a clueless girl.
The show was one of her favourites because it had been her and Bell's show. They had basically been as clueless as to the main characters, and Bell had even used the show to confess. Watching it put a smile on her face. She was so busy watching that it took her a couple minutes to realize that the arguing had settled down. Ais looked back to the kitchen to find Welf and Lili hard at work for dinner. Ais felt bad since she hadn't brought anything herself, but Bell insisted it would be ok. He said that one of his friends was a cook for a restaurant and would handle most of the food anyway.
Speaking of her boyfriend, Ais turned her head to try and look for Bell's room. She paused her show and walked towards the door she had seen him enter. Without knocking, she turned the handle. Inside was Bell, trying to button up a black shirt. He saw Ais in the mirror and practically jumped out of his skin.
"Ais! What are you doing here?" asked Bell, holding his shirt closed.
Ais tilted her head. "Why are you hiding? I've seen it all before."
Bell turned red. "That's different! That was that, and this is this, and it makes them very different!"
Ais pouted. "I like looking at your chest, though."
"Ais!" screamed Bell. "You can't just say things like that!"
"Why not? It's true, isn't it?" replied Ais, stepping forward. "I mean, I've seen you with less to."
Bell stepped back. "Well, yes, maybe, but that was something that happened in the heat of the moment, you know? Not something that you just look at randomly."
Ais stepped forward. "What's the difference?"
Bell stepped back. "Well, what we did before happened in the heat of the moment, not just…standing in my room."
Ais stopped and nodded. "Ok, but hurry up. I've been missing you all day."
Ais turned and walked out the door. Bell stared after her for a second before feeling a smile blossom on his face. Even if she wasn't very good at talking, Bell knew that Ais always meant what she said. That underlying sincerity to her words always made him feel warm and gooey on the inside and became his motivation for finally confessing.
Of course, bringing her to meet his friends/pseudo-family had not been part of the original plan. Initially, he had planned to take it slow. He wanted everyone out of the apartment when he brought Ais over for the first time. But then the others had heard that he wanted to bring the 'Mystery Girlfriend,' as they called her, over for dinner. After that, all of their plans seemed to disappear. Mikoto was asking about food preferences and allergies the next thing he knew. Heck, Hestia wasn't here because she was out getting drinks for the evening. The only reason Lili and Welf were here was to make sure Bell didn't run away from them.
His friends were a pain in the ass, no two ways about it. And he wouldn't trade them for anything.
After finally buttoning his shirt and changing into a more comfortable pair of pants, Bell walked back into the living room area. Bell was a part-time student and part-time archivist assistant. That meant wearing lots of stuffy old clothes to fit in with stuffy old boxes. Bell loved his job, and there was no doubt he was good at it, but man, did he hate the monkey suits they made him wear. Not to mention that a visiting historian named Hermes had really been driving Bell up the fucking wall. A pleasant evening in loose clothes with his favourite girl was just what the doctor ordered. And now with friends.
When he stepped back outside, he was greeted by the sight of Lili and Welf sitting on either side of the couch. Thankfully, they were not peppering her with questions like she had feared. Instead, they took it slowly. There were a lot of questions with easy answers, things like where she worked and what she did.
"So, how did you and Bell meet?" asked Welf. "He refuses to tell the story."
Ais looked over her shoulder, spotting him. She gave him her version of a teasing smirk and turned back to Welf.
"We met in the university cafeteria. Bell accidentally bumped into me and spilled tomato sauce all over himself," replied Ais. "Then, he apologized to me for making a mess."
Welf and Lili broke out into chuckles.
"Figures that Bell would apologize for getting himself into a mess," said Lili.
"Man, will you ever stop apologizing?" asked Welf.
"I was afraid I had ruined her new dress!" said Bell. "And with the way Lefiya was glaring at me, I really thought I had gotten some on Ais."
He took a seat in the brown recliner chair off to the side. He was a little miffed that he didn't get to sit next to his girlfriend, but that was the way it went. Instead, he tried to damage control and stop his friends and girlfriends from sharing all of his most embarrassing secrets.
"I'm back bitches!"
Bell looked to the heavens. His mission just became impossible. Hestia came around the corner, bottles of wine sitting nicely in her little shopping bags. And there was the one already opened in her hand.
"Is the girlfriend here yet?" asked Hestia, setting the bags on the dining table.
Welf and Lili just pointed to Ais, and Bell put his head in his hands. He contemplated just ending his life then and there. After all, Hestia was his closest friend in the world. She was the only one in the group who had ever met Alfia, besides Ryuu, but that was different. And since Hestia had met Alfia, that meant that the diminutive daycare operator had all the juiciest dirt.
"So, do you want to see Bell's baby pictures?" asked Hestia, already moving to grab the album.
Yes, Bell really decided it might be best to jump out the window and get it over with. Unfortunately, he knew that he would have to go up to the roof for his plan to work. Damn his apartment for being on the third floor!
"Yes, please," responded Ais.
The blonde was showing off a strange amount of enthusiasm. The only time Bell had seen her more energetic was in the bedroom.
Hestia pointed out each of the pictures, highlighting which ones were her favourites.
"And this one is Bell in the bathtub as a two-year-old," said Hestia. "And this one is him as one-year-old and refusing to eat his baby food. Ooh ooh ooh! You have to see one of him in the unicorn costume!"
You know what, maybe there was some bleach under the sink that Bell could use. Or some other type of cleaning material. Heck, maybe he could use it to distract Hestia so that he could pull Ais away. After all, the food hadn't arrived yet. He could possibly get away with them getting out of here and not making too much of a scene.
That was when there was a knock at the door. The people who did it didn't even bother with waiting to get an answer. They pushed their way through, hands laden with food. The smells were tantalizing, and then Bell saw what Mikoto had cooked. There was no way Ais was leaving now. Like a bloodhound, Ais's nose twitched and led her to one of the dishes Mikoto was carrying.
"Ah yes! I heard that you liked fried potato snacks," declared Mikoto. "I made sure to try and whip up a couple variants. The base recipe allows for a lot of playing with the final result after all."
Ais nodded, happy that someone understood.
"Honestly, as long as you didn't make miso soup again, I'll be happy," said Welf, taking a tray from Haruhime.
"My miso soup is incredible!" retorted Mikoto.
"It is dear, but you make it all the time," replied Haruhime. "Even I get tired of it occasionally."
Mikoto looked over at her girlfriend, betrayed, and even Bell chortled. At the sound of it, the Japanese chef whirled on him.
"Not you too, Bell?"
Bell shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry, Mikoto, but you have to admit, you make a lot of miso soup." He stood up, walking over to Ais. "Ais, this is Yamato Mikoto and Sanjouno Haruhime, they're friends of mine."
"And they're our gay neighbours," said Welf, already getting the plates out. "They help keep the area diverse and new age."
Ais frowned at Haruhime. "Have I seen you somewhere before?"
Haruhime rolled her eyes. "Wait, give me a second," she replied before striking a pose. Her eyelids closed halfway, and her lips pursed. "Do you recognize me now?"
Ais blinked, and her face heated up, which managed to fog up her glasses.
"Haruhime is a model for Berbera magazine," supplied Hestia as a way of answer. "Might want to stop Haruhime, or else Mikoto's gonna need to get a change of underwear."
Mikoto, who had, in fact, been staring like a dog after a bone, flushed even deeper then. When the others laughed, she turned to her food. Haruhime giggled before wrapping her arms around Mikoto's waist. Her head fit neatly into the crook of her girlfriend's neck. The two started whispering and smiling about something. Ais looked on, hoping that would be her and Bell one day. She felt someone grab her hand and give it a squeeze.
"We'll get there," said Bell.
Ais nodded.
The two spent a moment staring at each other before they heard wolf-whistling and catcalls.
"Damn, all the lovey-dovey stuff going on, I don't know if we're needed here," said Welf.
Lili nodded. "Is our little family going to be getting a little addition soon?"
"Ooh! Dibs on being godmother!" said Hestia.
"How come we won't be having the first child?" asked Mikoto. "We could adopt one!"
"Mikoto, you have trouble remembering to water plants," replied Haruhime. "Our last one shrivelled up after a week."
"Don't talk about Ushiwaka like that!"
Bell rolled his eyes. He then moved to continue setting up the table. Ais stayed to listen to what everyone was talking about. They were just bitching about their days and workweeks for the most part. That conversation continued to dinner. Currently, it was Welf's turn.
"So, there I was, the beautiful car finally getting restored, and what does the asshole do?" says Welf, waving a fork with a bit of pork chop on it. "He just drives off and takes the thing over the mother fucking curb. All that work on the suspension? Ruined! He came back after thirty minutes and demanded a refund."
"What happened?" asked Ais, enraptured.
Welf shrugged. "Flipped him off. He asked to see my manager; Hephaestus showed up and flipped him off too. Then he asked for her manager, and she just pointed to the sign outside." He cleared his throat. "' My name's on the sign, jackass! Unless you're too stupid to read,'" said Welf in a bad female imitation.
Hestia chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like Hephaestus, alright."
"How was your day?" asked Bell. "Were you able to work that thing out?"
Hestia's shoulders dropped. "No, and now Loki isn't even returning my calls!"
"Loki?" asked Ais. She looked to Bell. "Is this my Loki?"
Bell nodded. "Yeah, turns out we're better connected than we thought." He turned back to Hestia. "I mean, the ball's in her court right now anyway."
Hestia pouted. "Yeah, but we're both adults, right? There shouldn't be any more of this ball and court shit. Just say how you're feeling!"
Hestia stabbed into her fried chicken for emphasis.
Ais looked back to Bell. "Why are we talking about basketball?"
Bell sighed before he started explaining. In the end, Ais made a sound of comprehension before reaching across the table to Hestia.
"I'll talk to Loki," said Ais.
Apparently, that was all there was to say on the matter. The rest of the night, they ate their food until they finished and settled back around the couch.
"Ok, so what are we playing tonight?" asked Welf.
"Monopoly!" suggested Lili.
"I'd rather not break Ais and Bell up," replied Haruhime. "Or for me and Mikoto to break up."
"We wouldn't break up over monopoly!" replied Mikoto, clutching Haruhime's hand.
Haruhime let her head fall onto Mikoto's shoulder. "Mikoto, you are a very sore loser."
Mikoto glared (fondly). "Are you saying that I would lose?"
Haruhime's response was to kiss her.
"What about we play cards?" asked Hestia.
"We don't have any decks," said Lili. "Bell accidentally sent the cards out the window."
Hestia looked over, incredulous. "How the fuck did you manage that?"
The truth? Bell had been learning magic tricks to impress Ais. He was not going to say that out loud, though.
"Well, if we're not playing monopoly, any of the Mario games are out the window," said Mikoto.
The others nodded along sagely. Ais was a little disappointed. After all, she was the best Smash Bros player among her friends, by a long shot. Her main was Lucina, in case you wanted to know.
"What about True Orarian?" asked Haruhime.
The others smiled. Bell did not. But apparently, the decision was out of his hands because suddenly, the apartment was alive with movement. Chairs were pushed to the side, anything breakable was moved, and Hestia raided the fridge and her closet for beers.
"What's True Orarian?" asked Hestia.
"So, the game is like a big board game," started Mikoto. "And you have to move across the different spaces because the floor is lava."
"Really, it's a drinking game," continued Welf. "And the goal is to defeat the monsters," he held up a beer can. "And then defeat the boss monster in the middle," he pointed to a bottle of whiskey.
Ais blinked.
"Just go along with us and do what Bell does," said Hestia. "We should do adventurers and supporters style. I'll be the Goddess."
The others nodded, except Ais, and partnered up. Haruhime went with Mikoto, that went without question, and Welf went with Lili. Ais looked around for help, but Bell sidled up next to her.
"Just follow my lead, ok?" asked Bell.
Ais nodded. Hestia clapped her hands together to get everyone's attention.
"Now, as the Goddess of our Familia, I first ask for nourishment! I demand sustenance!"
Everyone scrambled to grab something. Ais heard the word nourishment and dove for the food. When she turned, she found everyone else holding a drink. The poor, confused blonde had forgotten that this was a drinking game.
Hestia smiled. "Ok, so we know who the third-class adventurers are!" She turned to the cocktails presented to her. "And Mikoto has made the best cocktail. Therefore she shall be the first-class adventurer!"
Mikoto and Haruhime cheered while Bell and Lili spluttered.
"No fair! She's a trained bartender!" screamed Lili.
"And it's Ais's first time playing," added Bell.
Hestia pointed an accusatory finger in their direction.
"Do you dare defy the orders of your Goddess? I demand a shotgun from the sinners!" said the tiny woman who was now standing on the table.
Bell and Lili looked at each other before shrugging and grabbing a beer. They popped a hole and started chugging. Ais was scared but also a little excited?
One hour into the game, she was just excited now. Despite being third-rate adventurers, she and Bell had already passed Lili and Welf. The two friends were too busy bickering to do anything right, so they kept fucking up. Meanwhile, Mikoto and Haruhime still held a comfortable lead.
"Who was the mercenary king?" screamed Hestia.
"Albert!" shouted Haruhime and Ais at the same time.
"Tie! Duel to the death!" declared Hestia, waving a paper towel roll around. She was probably the most hammered, two empty bottles of wine sitting next to her.
Ais looked to Bell, who grimaced.
"The duel to the death is a shot drinking context," explained Bell.
"Which drink would you like?" asked Haruhime. "I'll let you choose since it's your first time."
"I don't know any drinks," replied Ais.
"Ah, we'll drink vodka then," said Haruhime.
She dashed off to the freezer before pulling a bottle out. Welf and Lili got the glasses, while Mikoto and Bell made sure nothing funny was going on.
"I'm your second," explained Bell. "So, if you need to tap out, let me know?" He looked over at Haruhime. "And try not to push yourself; Haruhime's kind of the queen of this shit."
Suddenly, the competitive side of Ais reared its head. She did not drink a lot, but she hated to lose. Ais was a winner, goddammit!
Ais did not win the contest. By the time she was at shot three, Haruhime was at shot six. Ais tapped for Bell, who could only take another four. It was a crushing defeat. And because of that….
"One of you must hide in Daedalus Street!" declared Hestia.
Bell sighed before going to sit under the dining room table.
"I'll give you instructions as you go," said Bell. "I'll be out of here after I finish my challenge."
Hestia is the one to respond, giving Bell a pitcher of energy drink and Jägermeister.
"Will he be, ok?" asked Ais.
After all, that particular concoction did not look healthy.
Mikoto laughed. Apparently, she did that a lot when she was drunk.
"Hehehe! Time for the bunny boy!" declared the chef.
"Mikoto! Stop staring at Bell! Stare at me!" said Haruhime, draping herself over her girlfriend. "I want attention!"
Ais blinked, turning to Welf and Lili. The two of them just shrugged.
"How are you feeling?" asked Welf. "I'm guessing this is your first big night of drinking."
Ais looked at her hands. "I feel warm…and tingly. I feel like I could fight a bull." She looked up. "I can't fight a bull, right?"
Welf shook his head. "Ais, you cannot fight a bull."
Ais frowned, swaying on her feet. "Don't tell me what I can't fucking do!"
Twenty minutes later, Ais discovered what 'bunny boy' meant. Apparently, all the alcohol and energy drinks brought out a very…energized version of Bell. He was quite literally bouncing off the walls. All his energy meant that Ais and Bell could finally catch up to Mikoto and Haruhime.
"Ok, my children!" declared Hestia, more bottles at her feet. "Time for the final round! I declare that it shall be a dance-off to defeat the Monster Rex!"
Ais and Bell lost big time. The competition wasn't even close. They were awkward and stilted, whereas Haruhime and Mikoto were graceful and coordinated.
"No fair!" cried Bell, practically vibrating at a molecular level. "Haruhime worked as a pole dancer, and Mikoto has classical Japanese training for this shit!"
"Hey! Not our fault we're cultured!" retorted Mikoto. "Or that Haruhime was an exotic dancer!" She pointed at him. "That's slut shaming Bell!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake," replied Lili.
"The winners are Haruhime and Mikoto!" shouted Hestia. "They are the true Orarians, again!"
"And now I claim my prize!" said Haruhime, grabbing Mikoto.
The two fell backwards onto the couch.
"Oh, for God's sake, we're standing right here!" said Lili.
"Come on, you guys, last time this happened, we needed an industrial cleaner," complained Welf.
"Damn, Haruhime, did you get more flexible?" asked Hestia.
Ais just laughed and laughed. She didn't quite know what had just happened, but she wouldn't change it for anything. Instead, she pulled Bell away from the others and towards their bedroom.
I honestly don't know what I just wrote. This is the crackiest of crack writing right now, but I hope you enjoy at least a little bit. Nothing here is meant to offend, just to give me something to write in one of my off weeks. Enjoy, I guess?
