Chapter 2: To the other side
Harry tried to pull away from the tight bear hug the elderly wizard gave him but couldn't. After a few awkward silent moments, he managed to pat his lower back and said, "There, there, mate. Mind letting me breathe?"
Merlin relinquished and backed away a little but was still grasping Harry's shoulders; examining him. Harry stared back, but he looked directly into Merlin's spectacles and saw his own reflection. Harry could see he was no longer an old man. The wrinkles, greying hair, all gone…
"This time," Merlin began, finally releasing Harry, "You look like you are about twenty-four years of age. You always come back as a different version of yourself, but it looks like you got rid of your scar. That's new."
Harry instinctively reached up to touch the lightning-shaped scar Voldemort gave him as a child.
It's not there.
"Am I dead?" Asked Harry, pinching himself.
"That should make you think that you are indeed not." Merlin replied.
"Where am I?" Harry asked, pacing around the chamber.
"You are home." Merlin responded. "To be precise, H.O.M.E."
"What's–" Harry began.
"Haven Outside Muggle Eyes." Merlin interrupted with a sigh.
"Cute." Harry whispered. Harry stopped his movement suddenly.
"Yeah, our acronyms are a bit cringeworthy," Merlin went on, "But we have accepted it for its simplicity. Harry, I know we often do this catch-up dialogue every time you come back, but what about switching it up, you know? Perhaps we could try something different, I was thinking–"
"Is this supposed to be leaking?" Harry interrupted, pointing to one of the time-turners on the wall. The glass of which was shattered, a steady stream of seemingly endless sand funnelled out of the hole.
He moved his palm to catch the sand that fell out of it. As it grazed his skin, he winced and pulled his hand away immediately. Looking down at the centre of his palm, he could see the lightning-shaped scar he once had on his forehead, relocated to a new purchase. A faint greenish hue glowed momentarily through the mark, causing it to itch and throb horribly.
"That explains all the sand." Merlin said. "This never happened before. Hmm…"
Merlin made a waving motion with their hands, and a huge book appeared directly in front of them. Harry looked at the cover and saw the words printed on the title to be Emergency Manual. Merlin flipped through the pages, every now and then mumbling words read from the heavy tome.
A sudden wave of nausea hit Harry as he doubled over, yelling in pain. "Oh, my days…"
"Never mind..." Merlin said. With a wave of their hands, the book disappeared. "I'll let the hazard crew handle it. Come on, Harry. Let's get you something to eat before your insides rip you apart."
"Is this normal?" Harry whimpered as he grabbed his stomach.
"Time travel hunger will do that to you." Merlin said, leading Harry out of the chamber.
"Is that a thing?" Harry said with an incredulous tone.
"I'm just having a laugh." Merlin said. With a wave of their hands, a doorway appeared. "But you definitely do this every time."
"Is it okay that we leave it like that?" Harry asked, pointing to the pile of sand forming on the other side of the room.
Snapping their fingers, an ancient-looking, corded phone emerged on the wall by the door in front of Merlin. Grabbing it, Merlin spoke slowly into the receiver, "Clean up on chamber of time, thank you."
"That's it?" Harry asked.
"Not our problem!" Merlin said with a chuckle, throwing an arm over Harry's shoulder as they proceeded through the door. "Und los gehts! There's a place I've been dying to try."
A bright flash blinded Harry as his body felt pulled through to the other side of the door. The place looked familiar. It reminded him of the vision he had of King's Cross station when he sacrificed himself to Lord Voldemort to destroy the last horcrux implanted in him. It was a hallucinatory dream he remembers telling himself. He blacked out after being hit by the spell. It wasn't real.
But this place felt quite the opposite. Everything looked and felt real. Its appearance is more akin to the airport in London Heathrow. All sorts of people were entering and exiting terminal gates. Zapping them to different locations Harry was unsure of where they were going or coming from. Unfamiliar images flashed through Harry's mind as he stepped on the moving walkway. Memories flooding his brain of every time he walked here with Merlin. Real conversations they shared. Harry can't seem to remember what was said, but it hit him. He looked at Merlin with apologetic eyes. He couldn't quite remember it exactly, but the feelings that flowed through him jogged something crucial he forgot.
"Starting to remember, eh?" Merlin said. With a smirk, they crossed their arms and looked away. "Don't worry about it."
Harry was confused at this until a certain memory popped into his brain of their last heated conversation. The words… Harry was struggling to remember anything he actually said. Instead, he focused on what he could see in the memories. The rage and hurt Merlin's tears portrayed what he couldn't hear. He felt horrible, but he doesn't exactly know why.
"I'm sorry…" Harry said quietly. "I don't–"
"Wotcher, Harry. "Merlin interrupted, slapping him on the back. "Every time you re-materialize, you change and become different. Sometimes you come back saying some truly mean and hurtful things, but that was another version of you. I want to fault you for it, but I do not believe I should judge you for the transitions you undergo."
"Look, that me was probably a right cunt." Harry mumbled, fumbling his words. "I, I didn't mean any offence."
"All is forgiven, Harry." Merlin said. "Who I am, and where my power comes from has always been a point of controversy. All that matters is that in the end you always strive to be better, and that you're back here with me too."
"I'm learning…" Harry said, pausing to stare at Merlin, who fiercely stared back with their arms crossed. An extremely long and silent minute passed between them, before Harry noticed a small lip curled and cracked into a smile on Merlin's face.
"I can't stay mad at you!" Merlin shouted before strangling Harry with another strong hug.
"You're cracking my ribs." Harry whimpered.
"Finally." Merlin said, letting Harry go. They then headed towards what looked like a food court. They walked over to one restaurant with a logo of a whale.
"Ahoy mateys! Welcome to The Belly of the Beast!" Shouted A female employee with a name tag that read Johanna. "Would you like to try our new blubber bowl combo meal?"
A couple of individuals wearing hazmat suits approached the chamber of time with objects that looked like Proton packs from Ghostbusters. In actuality, they were vacuum cleaners being used to suck up all the sand they were ordered to clean.
A sudden pinging noise made one of them stop what they were doing.
"What's the matter, John?" The other cleaner said, powering his vacuum down too.
"I don't know, Terry." John said, unfastening his pack. "It sounded like I sucked up something other than sand."
"Maybe it was the shards of glass that broke from the Time-Turner." Terry said, before dropping his own pack. "What a fuckin' mess they left for us."
John opened his pack to clean out the filter, but what he found was not a shard of glass. Instead, it appeared to be a small, cylindrical chunk of metal.
"Looks like a blown bullet." John said aloud, holding the object. "I wonder how this got in here."
As John peered in closer to take a better look, the bullet started moving in his hand like a crawling bug. A small red mist came jetting out of it blocking Terry's vision. In a moment of horror, John jumped back trying to drop the bullet, but instead it turned and bore into his palm, tearing past his protective gloves. John screamed and fell to the floor.
"John? John!" Terry shouted, rushing over to him. "John, say something man! What's wrong?"
The noise that came out of John's mouth sounded like pure terror. Bumps grew jutting out all over his body and shifted. This caused Terry to back away, fearing he might get infected too. The bones in John's body morphed. In a mad panic, John grabbed at his suit, ripping it apart. Lesions appeared all over his skin, the colour of which turned pale. John's screams turned into a guttural roar until he finally growled, "Renati odium meum!"
Terry looked on in shock, unable to move as his friend turned into someone else.
John's new face twisted, his lips curling to form an ugly, joyful sneer.
"John? Is that you?!" Terry asked.
John's new hands felt the sand beneath him. There he felt a foreign object touch his skin. It felt like wood. Grabbing it, he pulled out a wand hidden amongst the grains. He lifted his new arm and aimed it at Terry.
"Avada Kedavra." His new voice said. It came off cold, filled with bloodlust.
Who am I?
"Finistra!" He shouted.
The incantation shattered the glass of all the remaining time-turners in the chamber. Sand poured into the chamber from all directions.
I live because of my hate…
My malice…
He picked up one of the shards from the mound of sand and admired his new reflection.
"The Green Dragon's flame," He said aloud, watching Terry's dead body being buried by the sand, "Strikes the Serpent's Storm in fury. You robbed me of my kill, Potter. Be it hell or paradise, the collection of Death's payment is due."
"Something's wrong." Harry said, dropping his cutlery on the table with a clatter.
"Did they forget the Moby-Dick sauce?" Merlin asked, with a mouthful of food.
"No…" Harry paused.
"Don't tell me they skimped you on your Ahab-nuggies?" Merlin's voice raised, turning around in their seat. "This is outrageous!"
"Would you pipe down?" Harry said, lowering his voice. "I'm not talking about the bloody food."
"Oh…" Merlin said sheepishly. "Carry on."
"What I mean is, I'm getting all these memories of you, and this place." Said Harry.
"That's part of the reintegration of your true self." Said Merlin.
"Yeah, I figured as much." Harry said with a quizzical look. "I just don't seem to actually remember what I, you, or anyone has said in these memories."
"You're saying there's no audio in your mind-movies?" Merlin said with an overly-serious look.
"Like there's no script." Harry said.
"Like there is no script." Merlin repeated slowly, stroking their chin. "So how did you know that you and I had a fight last time we were here?"
"It's strange…" Harry said with hesitation. He looked at his food tray, looking for the right words. "It's almost like I could feel it?"
"My lord," Merlin said, clapping their hands, "Harry's finally tapping into his emotions. I thought this form of therapy would never bless us."
"Quit taking the piss." Harry said, flicking a speck of his food at Merlin. "I can feel the emotions of the memories and it helps give context clues, but I can't get the whole picture."
"So, you know, but don't know." Merlin said. "Fascinating. It must have something to do with your mark now being on your hand I see.
"Do you think when I smashed the Time-Turner into that bullet had something to do with this?" Harry asked.
"Oh, that thing you mentioned earlier." Merlin responded. "That would be a new thing that definitely happened—which never happened before."
"Tell me again what this place is?" Harry questioned, which prompted Merlin to visibly sigh.
"H.O.M.E. is essentially a pocket dimension created by powerful magic which is stored and held together by a muggle satellite in the Earth's atmosphere." Said Merlin, in a very bureaucratic voice.
"I see…" Said Harry, in a very unsure voice.
"Gods, Harry." Merlin said exasperated. "Thick all kinds of places. Look, you can probably search your feelings to know that what I'm telling you is true. The future you lived down there on Earth was real. It turns out that way no matter how many times you try to change it."
"So, what then?" Harry argued. "Magic folk just gave up and escaped off planet just to hide from the muggles?"
"It's quite a convenient hiding location actually." Merlin retorted. "There's like a huge cluster of these chunks of metal orbiting the Earth."
"So where are my friends?" Harry cried. "My family?"
Merlin went quiet and gave Harry an earnest stare. Harry knew the answer, but he didn't like how it felt. He dropped his head to the table, and tears formed a puddle on his glasses.
"Quit being such a pussy and just go to reinitiate yourself! A female voice harshly screamed in front of Harry. When Harry looked up where Merlin should be sitting, but instead saw a different person in his place. A woman with jet-black curly hair and fierce eyes.
"Morgana!" The woman turned back into Merlin, with long pearly-white straight hair. "That was so rude! What the fuck?"
"Shut up, you absolute knob!" The woman said, shifting back. "Look at these wankers crying up a shitstorm because you can't remember your dead 'famiwee'?"
"Morgan, I will not stand for this." Merlin said, taking over.
"Sit on it, you sausage stuffer." Morgana replied, smirking and sticking her tongue out while Merlin tried to remain in place.
It was a weird image for Harry to process, but he just watched quietly as Merlin, an old man, transitioned into a younger woman and back, with each transformation happening when they spoke. It went back and forth for some time, each bickering at each other like a changeling with a split personality. They switched back and forth rapidly like a stressed chameleon changing the shade of their skin's camouflage.
"This is why we had a fight last time, Harry." Merlin said apologetically, fire in their eyes. "She can't hold her wicked tongue sometimes."
"The only thing wicked," Morgana said, snapping her fingers, "Is that you can't handle a woman being right. It was you who caught 'the feels' and wanted to try something different. You are one sad, sad, lonely, old man."
"Enough with your gaslighting, witch!" Merlin angrily yelled, but instead of switching forms, Merlin's face popped out right next to Morgana like a hideous conjoined twin.
"You dumb git." Morgana said dejectedly. "Look at what you did."
"You're the reason why we're an Ettin now." Merlin spat. "Give up control, so we can return to normal."
"Your sense of normality is shite." Morgana snapped. "You give up the agency this time!"
From Harry's perspective it looked like she tried to take a bite out of his ear, but Merlin headbutted her away. After a couple of nose jabs at each other's eyes, they both went quiet; staring daggers at each other.
"Part of me understands why I didn't feel so sorry about last time." Harry said, trying to break the silence. They both glared at him. "Sorry, not a good joke. What did you mean by getting reinitiated?"
"Merlin, stop coddling the boy and do what is necessary to fix what's wrong with him." Morgana finally spoke after a few moments of silence.
"Fine." Merlin said, with a sour look. "Harry, the reason why you are here and not any of your friends or family is because they are all dead. You are here because you were marked."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"Have you wondered why I don't use a wand?" Merlin asked in return. They then flicked their wrist, sending sparks out of their fingertips. "Here, you don't need that to do magic, instead—"
"Merlin this would be a lot easier to explain if he underwent the initiation again." Morgana interrupted.
"None of this is making sense!" Harry shouted hysterically.
"Listen, Harry," Merlin began, his face contorting in discomfort, "This place was created by another wizard more powerful than us, and if you meet them, just—"
"Just tell me what initiation is supposed to be already!" Harry yelled loudly.
"Initiation means confronting the truth." A new voice said, standing behind Harry.
A voice he would never forget. A voice he thought to be long dead and erased from his story. A voice that shook Harry to his core. As fear took hold over Harry, sweat perspiring down his face. The flight or fight feeling kicked in and Harry swung around; leaping to his feet screaming his enemy's name.
"Voldemort!"
