Bowser: Well Kamek, I made it, despite your directions.

Kamek: Ah, Lord Bowser, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable afternoon of villainy and mayhem!

(Bowser grunts in a disinterested manner as he enters the building. Kamek steps into his kitchen only to find that his oven is pouring out smoke. He opens it and realizes that the meat he was cooking is on fire.)

Kamek: (gasps) Oh ye gads! My Draglet roast is ruined!

(Kamek then looks at his crystal ball and sees the Gigantaburger building in Diamond City.)

Kamek: But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Oh ho ho! Delightfully devilish, Wizard!

(Kamek prepares to mount his broom when Bowser steps into the kitchen. Cue opening sequence.)

Chorus: Kamek, and his hare-brained machinations
Pleasing his boss is all in his imagination
Bowser always gets filled with infuriation
Someone's gonna get stomped, tonight!🎶

Bowser: KAMEK!

Kamek: Your gruesomeness! I was just, uh, just banishing freeloading spirits from the windowsill! Isometric exorcise, care to join me?

Bowser: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Kamek?

Kamek: Um, er, oh! That isn't smoke, I'm whipping up a spell! Something to help the most esteemed of the Koopa clans! Yeah, the esteemed clans! (After Bowser exits) Whew!

(Kamek hops on his broom and flies into a distant Warp Pipe. Cut to the dining room where Kamek brings in a bunch of hamburgers and fries on a tray.)

Kamek: Your majesty, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!

Bowser: I thought we were talking about the esteemed clans?

Kamek: Oh no, I said 'Steamed Kams!' That's what I call hamburgers!

Bowser: You call hamburgers 'Steamed Kams?'

Kamek: Yes, it's a regional dialect.

Bowser: Uh huh. What region?

Kamek: Um, southeast of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Bowser: Really? Well I'm from Dark Land, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'Steamed Kams.'

Kamek: Oh, not in Dark Land, no! It's a Sarasaland expression!

Bowser: I see.

(They begin to eat as Bowser takes a bite out of a burger.)

Bowser: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Gigantaburger.

Kamek: Oh ho ho ho, no! Patented Kamek-Burgers! Old family recipe!

Bowser: …For 'Steamed Kams?'

Kamek: Yes.

Bowser: Yes, and you're serving me 'Steamed Kams' despite the fact that you got out of helping set up the family picnic last month by claiming you were vegan?

Kamek: Um, you know, one thing I should… excuse me for one second!

Bowser: Of course.

(Kamek runs into the now burning kitchen, only to re-emerge a second later.)

Kamek: (Yawns) Well, that was wonderful! Good times were had by all, I'm pooped!

Bowser: Yes, I should be- HOLY CRUD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!

Kamek: A new Nintendo Direct?

Bowser: A-a new Nintendo Direct?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the universe, broadcast ENTIRELY from within your kitchen?!

Kamek: Yes!

Bowser: …May I see it?

Kamek: …No.

(Kamek escorts Bowser outside.)

Kammy Koopa: Kamek! The tower's on fire!

Kamek: No Kammy, that's just the exciting new game reveals!

Bowser: Well Kamek, you're an incompetent oddball, but I must say, you steam a good kam!

Kammy Koopa: Help! HELP!

(Bowser looks back to see Kamek give an awkward thumbs up. After Bowser leaves, Kamek rushes into the tower to call the fire department.)