Hello everyone! I know I have been gone for quite some time. Life just go the best of me. I am coming back to my stories now and hoping I can finish them. It's bothered me for quiet some time then my stories have sat here unfinished. I get messages from people daily still, even though it's been years, if I will update my stories and finally I'm here to do just that. Hopefully there's a few of you who still follow the story and if you're new welcome! I do plan to finish the story hopefully updates every week.

ENJOY!


My Heart

DIMITRI POV

(Flashback)

The best day of my life dawned sunny and bright. Fitting, since the tiny bundle against my chest—delicate hand fisted tightly against pink, bowed lips—brought the light in with her when she entered my world. Only a day old and already I've memorized every perfect piece of her, my Liliya Rose. From the top of her head—covered in a layer of thick brown hair—to the bottom of her tiny, wrinkled feet. She's the smallest, warmest, sweetest thing I've ever seen. She's definitely not a quiet baby, letting everyone know when she was upset, but she calms down when I hold her tightly against my chest. I think she already knows that she's mine and I'm hers.

"Liliya," I whispered, rubbing the top of her downy head with the tips of my fingers. She rooted around at the sound of my voice, a foreign feeling fluttering my stomach when her eyes finally meet mine.

Adjusting her weight, I placed a bottle against her lips and watch as she moved frantically, latching on with far more vigor than her fragile frame seemed capable of. Her mouth moved quickly, pink lips pulling in and out in an organic rhythm all her own. Her eyes are brown and warm…just like hers.

Alberta interrupted our bonding, her shoes squeaking loudly against the hospital's shiny linoleum floor as she rounded the corner into the room. Lily's new car seat in one hand.

"Congratulations" she said with a smile, walking over to watch Lily devour her bottle. "She has your nose," I let out a smile laugh.

"That's about all of mine she has."

Sighing heavily, I nodded in the direction of the car seat. "Are we leaving soon?" I tried to sound serious but I just couldn't contain the joy I felt at finally having my daughter in my arms.

"Yes, we want to get back to the academy as soon as possible, Princess Vasilisa has already been brought back." she whispered softly now that Lily had fallen asleep, bottle still in mouth and one hand fisting her own hair.

"That's good," I said lightly sitting Lily's empty bottle down. That's another thing she didn't inherit from me, her appetite.

Alberta coughed to get my attention, but when I turned to face her she looked everywhere but at me. "The queen is coming."

I strained to keep my expression calm but I subtly cradle Lily closer to my chest. "Why?" My voice is hard and I wanted nothing more than to jump out of this window and escape with my Liliya.

"You know why Dimitri, we have held her off for this long and now that Lily is born she's demanding to see her." I could tell by her face it was killing Alberta to have to tell me this, so instead of arguing I gave her a curt nod of my head.

"I just wanted to give you a warning," She said moving to leave the room, "I'm going to see how much longer until she arrives." I nodded in reply.

Things have been tense since Rose and I broke the news of her pregnancy months ago. We kept the secret as long as we could, not wanting to add unnecessary drama to our already complicated lives. I burned a lot of bridges and lost many friends quickly when I refused to let Rose give up our child, I even lost her because of it.

When we first announced it, blood tests were immediately ordered, and I mean ordered, straight from the Queen. They didn't trust the word of a knocked up 17 year-old girl the way I did. When the tests came back and identified me as the father they tried to test us more to find out how it was even possible but with the help of Kirova, Alberta, Vasilisa and Lord Ivashkov, the Queen was persuaded to wait until after Rose had given birth to do any further testing.

"Privet malysh," I cooed, leaning in to let my daughter's small fist wrap around my much larger finger. I busied myself rewrapping her blankets. She grunted and whimpered in protest so I brought her to my shoulder patting her back lightly.

"The nurse said you should rub circles, remember?" A voice reminded me from the door, Guardian Hathaway.

Smiling slightly at her concern, I switch my taps for gentle rotations. "I remember Guardian Hathaway," I murmured.

"Oh please, I think it would be just fine if you called me Janine now," I smiled and nodded, but didn't say anything else.

"Do you want me to…uh…call her?" Janine's hesitation and wariness made my heart hurt. Only hours old, the mention of Lily's missing mother was a dark cloud over an otherwise sunny day.

I haven't heard anything from Rose since she brought Lily into this world not long ago, and on one side I wanted nothing more than to beg and plead for her to change her mind. This Dimitri, though— the one cradling his newborn daughter—realized that if she'd wanted this, she could've had it.

"I don't think so," I answered quietly. "I don't want anything to ruin this day."

I could tell she wanted to push the issue, but the arrival of 8 guardians and Queen Tatiana interrupted our quiet debate.

When the Queen finally entered the room, there was a moment of silence as she moved closer to Lily and I. Without realizing it I squeezed my tiny daughter to my chest, I didn't know what she wanted or if she would even allow me to keep her—I couldn't even think about what I would do if someone would have tried to deny me the right to raise my daughter.

"May I hold her?" Those four words made my blood run cold. If I handed over my daughter there was no telling if I would even get her back.

"I would respectfully like to say no Your Majesty," her eyebrows shot up at my refusal. "So far my self and her doctor have been the only people to hold her and I'd like to keep it that way for now," I prayed she just accepted my explanation and moved on because there was no way in hell she was getting a hold of Lily.

"Of course," I let the breath I had been holding in, go at her words, "Already a protective father I see," She smiled tightly at me. "And where is her mother?" She asked looking around the room.

"She's gone," Alberta announced, emerging from the hallway. She looked at me apathetically. "Her nurse said she left about an hour ago."

Queen Tatiana pursed her lips. "The young ones…always bounce back so quickly it seems."

No one said a word. Or moved. Or even breathed.

We all knew that this was not the plan. Rose was needed to figure out how this happened. It's what the Queen wanted, to study us. I have no doubt she could find Rose but what if she didn't want to? Would she take it out on Lily and I?

"You can test Lily," my head snapped to Janine. How could she offer her up like that? Seeing my face, she tried to elaborate, "You can incorporate routine blood tests in with Lily's checkups it won't hurt her more than any other shot, she won't have to travel to court and it won't have her feeling like some sort of lab rat." I sighed realizing this was probably the only solution I would ever agree with.

"I agree with Janine," I nodded at her hoping the Queen would accept this offer and leave us alone.

"I would have to agree it sounds very reasonable," She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Something about that smile that should have been reassuring completely put me even more on edge. I didn't fully relax again until I was told her Royal Highness was on her private jet on the way back to court.

I wouldn't let the news of a constant tie to The Queen break me, or even the news that Rose had left. There was a newborn girl who looked to me for love and happiness, and that was the most powerful healing balm of all.

(End Flashback)

When Rose and I decided on telling Lily two weeks later at the park, it sounded like a really good idea. Nice neutral ground, plenty of distractions to keep things lighthearted and fun.

In reality, it was cold and windy, and I felt exposed and vulnerable around all those other random parents discretely staring at Rose and I. Was it too much to ask for a little privacy when Lily finds out who her Mom is?

Despite the cool weather, sweat slicked my palms as I watched Lily interact with a little boy her age near the slides. Every so often, I scanned the playground for Rose; although there were still a few minutes left before she was due to arrive.

We haven't prepared for this day the way I wanted but since initially telling Lily about her mother was spontaneous, I thought I would do the same here. It would give everyone less time to feel apprehensive and nervous. Lily has no clue that her Mom is going to join us at the park while she plays.

I was surprised telling her about her Mother didn't lead to more questioning on her part. Normally, she's an overly inquisitive girl, asking questions about the why's and how's and when's of everything, but this topic she left mostly untouched. I'm unsure if that meant she's okay or bothered or completely ruined by what we've done to her, and I'm afraid to analyze it much further.

She needs this, I tell myself.

Right?

She deserves to know her mother. And her mother deserves to know her.

Right?

Those thoughts play on a constant loop in my head as I watched my daughter interact with her new friend. She pointed to something across the playscape and he took off running, following her command. I'm so proud of this assertive child of mine. She's just like her mother. That thought only a few months ago would have made my heart squeeze painfully but now I couldn't have been prouder of her.

"Everything okay Comrade?" Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't hear Rose approach. She rounded the bench slowly—tentatively, even—and sat beside me. She was dressed in dark jeans and a maroon sweater, and looked every bit like the young Mom she was hoping to be.

"Hi," I said, smiling at her, I couldn't explain how good it felt to hear her use that ridiculous nickname again. "Everything's good. How are you?"

She blew out a big breath and pursed her lips. "Okay, I think." Her eyes, wide and vulnerable, never leaving mine.

"Nervous?" I asked gently.

Rose's leg bounced anxiously, but she grinned widely at me. "Very," she admitted. "But so ready."

She still hadn't looked at the playground, maybe it was nerves…

"Roza…" I said surprising myself by using the Russian form of her name.

She ran her fingers through her hair as her eyes flickered to the playground. "Yeah?" she murmured softly before turning back to me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked again, I could tell she was a big bunch of nerves, and I didn't want her to be nervous around Lily. She would pick up on that in an instant.

"What if she hates me?"

As if she was tethered to a string attached to my heart, I spot Lily instantly. She was hunkered down with the same boy, drawing pictures in the sand under a vacant swing set.

Glancing over my shoulder, I caught Rose's eyes again and pointed in Lily's direction. "Do you see Lily?"

Rose didn't answer me verbally, she simply stared, her jaw tensing and releasing, her rapid breathing making her chest rise and fall quickly. I try to view Lily through her eyes; see what she must see as she looked at her. Lily dressed herself today, her striped tights clashing wildly against her print skirt, but it matches her personality perfectly. Her brown hair blew back from her face, revealing big brown eyes and a smile so wide it took my breath away.

"Yes," Rose breathed a small smile playing on her lips. At that moment, Lily stood up and moved to draw another picture. When the boy began to mess it up she turned quickly and immediately began scolding him. I couldn't hold back my laugh. "She is exactly like you." I told Rose still looking at my daughter. "And that is why she cannot hate you." Rose's head snapped toward me. "She already loves you Rose, she won't be anything but thrilled once she finds out. I should be nervous I'm the one about to lose my daughter forever," I joked lightly. "Once she meets you, I'll be old news."

"That's not true," Rose's hand on my arm made my heart skip a beat. "You two will always have a bond that I can never live up to, you have a four-year head start on me. I can only hope to catch up to you by the time she graduates," She laughed but looked at me seriously.

"You ready?" I asked her and she just nodded with a bright smile on her beautiful face.

"Lily!" I called loudly, waving my arm to gain her attention. She noticed me immediately and waved back, before turning to the boy in the sandbox and gesturing in our direction. Standing, she dusted her hands off on the back of her skirt and began her normal skip-walk-jump decent over to our bench. The closer she got, the more I could see Rose tense, and I reached over placing a gentle hand on her bouncing leg. Her eyes flickered to me briefly before turning back to Lily.

"Hi Roza!" Lily squealed in her high falsetto. "That's Boady," she informed us, climbing onto the bench beside me and pointing out her new friend. "He's in the baby class." I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. Lily refers to every class that's not her class as the baby class. So, despite the fact he is in a four-year old class just like hers, in her mind he is still considered a baby.

"Yeah?" I asked, nodding. "Is he nice?"

She sighed wearily, wrinkling her nose. "I guess. He kept trying to mess up everything." She stood up and walked to the edge of the playground, as if to supervise him from afar.

Rose snorted softly beside me.

"Hey Lily," I called her back over. I held her hands when she was close enough and spoke to her quietly, but she pulled away and instead climbed into Rose's lap. "Do you remember how I told you that your mommy lives here?" She nodded her head excitedly and looked from me to Rose. As usual, she's far more observant than I've given her credit for.

I turn toward Rose, who was waiting patiently next to me on the bench. "This is her, Lily. Roza is your mommy." Lily took a second to take in Rose. Getting really close to her face and studying her appearance.

"Yeah." She nodded like she was approving of what I've told her. "You look like me," Lily grinned and touched Rose's face. "Those are my eyes!" She squealed happily.

"Actually, they're mine," Rose smiled sweetly at Lily, "and I gave them to you," she laughed poking Lily's tiny nose, effectively sending her into a fit of giggles.

Lily then proceed to point out every similarity between her and Rose, I was not included in the conversation. I just watched amused by Lily's giggle and proud of how well she was taking all of this. Even Rose was doing a great job with her, and no longer seemed so tense or nervous. Abruptly, Lily stopped talking and stared at Rose. "How old are you?" she asked suddenly, looking away shyly.

"I'm twenty-two," she answered, looking at me confused by Lily's sudden mood change.

Lily played with a lock of her hair distractedly. "Daddy said you were too young to be my mommy," she remarked quietly. "Are you all growed up now?"

Rose looked stunned momentarily, but then her face softened into a smile, and she leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on Lily's forehead. "I'm sorry I acted too young to be your mommy, Lily. I made a mistake…but I think I'm old enough now, and I will never leave you again. Can you forgive me?"

Still twisting her hair around her finger, a smile slowly spread on her face. "I forgive you Roza," Lilly launched forward and wrapped her small arms around Rose's neck.

"How do you girls feel about hot chocolate?" I asked, feeling just a little left out of this emotional moment.

Lily leaped from Rose's lap and bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. "With marshmallows?"

Nodding, I gathered her jacket from underneath the bench. "Why don't you go tell Boady goodbye and then we'll head back home for hot chocolate. Sound good?"

She ran away excitedly, leaving Rose and I grinning in her wake. "Well," I said, turning to face her. "That went really well. Better than I expected."

Rose's face was flushed pink and her eyes were shining. With tears? "Thank you so much," she said turning to face me suddenly. I started to reply but she held up her hand. "Really thank you so much for giving me a second, well really third chance." She blushed but continued, "I know I probably don't deserve to be a part of her life but thank you so much for allowing me to be. I swear I'll never hurt her again." Suddenly Rose's arms were around me and I could hear her sniffling. Just like with my Princessa I couldn't stand to hear Rose cry. Despite all my mental warnings I wrapped my arms around Rose and held her tightly wishing we could stay like this forever.