Broodmother (Levi edition)
"So, just to make sure I have this all straight." Rita stared down at the dining room table, once again surrounded by her now adult children, "you all went to a house on Levi's invitation, despite everything else he has done to us across the years, accepted being his Guinea Pigs for his…"
"Artificial Sexual Stimulation Netw-"
"New sex toy," Rita cut him off. "It's a sex toy. That Levi invented, and all of the rest of you willingly used, and now four months later you come back home and…"
She facepalmed, and drew said hand down exasperation as she gazed upon her embarrassed sons and daughter. "I'm not even surprised about the rest of you, but Linka?
I'm so disappointed in you."
"Mom…" A Very Round Linka Loud awkwardly sat in a chair, gravid (congratulations on most of our readers for learning a new word!) beyond belief for a woman only four months pregnant. Her trademark orange blouse was currently swapped out for a looser, but equally fluorescent version Loni had been kind enough to stitch together but even so, it barely fit over her ever-expanding waistline. "It just sort of… happened."
Unfortunately, when said 'happened thing' was one being impregnated by every one of one's own ten brothers at once as the result of the invention of the mad scientist among them, that excuse tends to fall flat.
A vein visibly throbbed in Rita's temple, and Linka was subject to the same withering glare that she'd seen so many times thrown at her brothers, but almost never at her. "Oh, what was that Sweetheart?" Her mother's voice was laced with enough artificial sweetness to induce instant diabetes. "What 'just happened'?
You're going to have to be more specific.
Was it maybe accepting Levi's invitation to his sketchy new house in the middle of nowhere?" She tapped her chin in exaggerated contemplation;" no, just driving there took a bit too long for it to 'just happen' didn't it?"
"Mom…" Linka would have sunk in her chair if not for the fact she had all the flexibility of a bowling ball.
"Ah, maybe it using Levi's sex machine!" Rita snapped her fingers, but again issued a clearly false sigh of 'disappointment'. "But you used it more than once didn't you Sweetie? That's pretty hard to have 'just happened' isn't it!?"
"Yeah…" Linka mumbled; her face rapidly reddening.
Loki looked between the two with discomfort, "Mom this is-"
"Sit. Down. Loki." Rita snapped at her eldest son, who promptly silenced himself at her Mom Voice. She returned her gaze to her chastised daughter, "and the fact you kept going even after you fell pregnant with Lexx and Lynn's twins? Was that what 'just happened'?"
"I didn't think I could get pregnant after that!" Linka insisted, "I mean, who would!?"
To anyone else that might have been a valid excuse, after all; who would expect more damage could have been done after that point?
Rita however wasn't having any of it;
"Linka?" She folded her arms. "How long have you known Levi?"
"… His whole life." Linka looked away.
"And what part of that lifetime made you think he wouldn't find a way of knocking up a pregnant woman if he wanted?"
Linka looked away and huffed.
"That's what I thought." Rita concluded.
"Hey; it's not her fault!" Loki finally snapped out, "Levi tricked all of us!"
"We wouldn't have used the machine if he'd told us we'd be doing the Hapsburg Hornpipe man!" Luke added on.
"And besides, how come he gets away with doing all this stuff anyway!?" Lexx demanded, "he experiments on us all the time, even when we were kids!"
"He turned me green and warty for a month!" Loni gasped. "It wasn't even the good kind of green- it was Avocado!"
"I got stuck in time loop for…" Lynn counted off his fingers, then promptly gave up; "you know what? I don't even know-"
"Four months, twenty days, six hours and four seconds." Levi 'helpfully' added in.
"Thanks," Lynn grit his teeth.
"And he keeps taking my kidney in the middle of the night!" Lexx slammed his hands on the table, "it's always the same one, he just pops it in and out every other month and I don't even know why- but if he leaves a scar so help me I'll give him one!"
"How come you always let him get away with this anyway?" Leif looked around in irritated inquisitiveness. "I mean, you've always let us do all kinds of stuff, but Levi's on a whole other level!"
"My inventions have provided countless benefits to humanity in exchange for the minor inconveniences you all have experienced," Levi snidely asserted. "Also, the money obtained from my patents covered the funding for most of the household expenses, including those incurring in enabling your assorted passions and in turn the successful careers the majority of you have since obtained.
You're welcome."
He smugly sat back and looked upon the rest of the table with satisfaction.
The rest of the siblings looked between him and their parents.
"… Fine, Levi bribed us!" Lynn Sr admitted, "but give us a break; we had thirteen mouths to feed!"
"Well, Leon's literally the only one who still lives here!" Loki indicated to the fellow blond, still barely in high school. "What's your excuse now!?"
The parents seemed taken a back and looked at each other for a second, before turning to Levi
"Levi," Rita began; "what do you have to say for yourself?"
Levi looked up from his tablet for a second; "… only that if your name isn't Loni, then every one of you knew better. Don't blame me for your poor life choices."
"But my name is Loni," Loni wondered; "so what about me?"
"You're blameless," Levi admitted. "But you're still going to be a father."
"Yay!" Loni cheered.
"Still going to-" Linka spluttered. "I COULD GET A COATHANGER AT ANY SECOND!"
"But you won't," Levi calmly countered.
"And why's that?" Linka growled, her eyes bulging with a blood pressure that wasn't doing any of her potential offspring any favours.
"Because to be blunt," Levi looked her in the eyes. "You're into it."
…
"What?"
"Your determined fetishes included incestuous mass impregnation, street term; Alabaman Breeding Train, and multiple simultaneous incubation." Levi continued. "Add in your partner's own preferences on the matter, and it seems unlikely at best you will be excising the offspring in question."
Linka's jaw dropped, then her face turned as red as a tomato as the rest of the family looked to her, "s-shut up!"
"I don't really think it's something she has a choice in though," Loki pointed to Linka's stomach. "I mean, there's what, ten kids in there?"
"Approximately twenty two actually." Levi informed the family. "For the sake of… comparison, all the offspring have been twinned so that a control can be used for any experiments I may wish to conduct in the duration of their upbringings."
Linka was simply dumbstruck into silence at the realisation of just how many children were inside her at that moment, her arms drooping down in shock with her jaw.
"Uh, yeah, she's gonna have to get rid of them." Loki shook his head. "Sorry Levi, well actually no; literally the opposite: your bullshit's backfired."
"There's no way she can carry that many!" Lane exclaimed, "she'll pop like one of my balloons!"
Linka paled as she stared down at her already tightly-stretched abdomen.
"How would she even survive pushing out that many?" Lexx shuddered. "Don't girls lose lots of blood with just one labour?"
"Plus her taint's gonna rip open to her butt," Leif shook his head with a sigh. "Ain't no two ways about spittin' out that many kids"
"Guys." Lars' quiet voice silenced the group, "you're scaring her."
The room turned to see Linka now bearing an utterly terrified visage. Rita's expression softened, and she quickly made her way over to her wet-eyed daughter.
"It's okay honey," She gently drew her upper body into a hug. "Levi's going to fix what he did- right son?"
Her eyes became daggers at the boy in question.
"Uh, well…" Levi's eyes darted from Mom to his increasingly hostile brothers with increasing trepidation. "I have taken the liberty of preparing a certain solution to Linka's 'situation'…"
"What kind of 'solution'?" Rita's eyes narrowed.
"Are you FUCKING SERIOUS!?" Linka screeched.
The family stood in a basement, not their own childhood home's basement as might have been the case in an alternate reality, but a basement nonetheless. Deep within Levi's home, inside the very house where the siblings had gone that fateful day to fulfill their lecherous yearnings; Levi had reconstructed the lowest (as far they knew, they never could be sure with him) level of his home into… this.
A fully automated care facility, with innumerable machines designed to feed, clean and extract waste from an immobile human with all the creature comforts one might want. The walls and ceilings were covered panels that shifted into nigh-perfect recreations of any environment the user desired, and there was some kind of air conditioner that kept the temperature at precisely the most comfortable warmth the primary occupant's body needed.
Also, there was a waterbed sitting the middle. It was really big and squishy.
"Well, there's no need for shouting," Levi seemed a tad miffed at the lack of appreciation. "I think I've made more than adequate preparations for your incubation period- hrrllk!"
Levi found himself dragged up by his lapels to look directly into Linka's bloodshot eyes; "I don't want an 'incubation period'. I want these 'things' out of me."
"That would be inadvisable considering their delicate state of development at this time," Levi insisted, and held up a glowing green test tube with a cork in it. "Besides, my formula will easily allow for expansion of your reproductive regions to adequate proportions, I can assure you that you will have the easiest labour known to humankind!"
"Rghhh!" Lika dropped him onto his feet and stomped away.
"Please be careful!" Levi brushed off his lapels, "excess activity could harm the-"
SKHHWARNK!
There was now a sparking, ruined section of the wall's panels.
Because Linka had punched it.
She glared back at him, and held up her now bleeding fist. "Does it look like I care Levi?"
"Admittedly not," Levi conceded. "However-"
"Get. Them. Out." Linka stomped back him. "I had a fetish. I admit that. It doesn't mean I want to be a flipping whale sized medicine ball for nine months-"
"Five months," Levi offered. "Taking into account the accelerated growth from my…" Levi's voice trailed off at Linka's eyes bulging again, "… would some ice cream help?"
Linka paused for a moment… "chocolate?"
Levi drew out a remote from his lab coat and pressed a button without breaking eye contact. Immediately one of the wall panels lifted up to reveal a fully stocked fridge filled with a nigh solid wall's worth of tubs containing Linka's favourite brand of the cold confectionary.
"… It's a start." Linka muttered, promptly produced a spoon from somewhere and waddled over to dig in.
"Well, it seems like your solution needs some work," Rita calmly chastised her second youngest son. "At least if you want your 'subjects' to actually see the light of day."
"Yeah Dude, no amount of the good stuff is gonna stop her from goin' 'foetus deletous' on those things if she don't want them." Luke indicated to the decidedly round Linka, who was gleefully ignoring the rest of them in favour of rapidly stuffing her stomach from an open tub cradled between her arm and bulbous belly. "What're you gonna do?"
"Well…" Levi snapped his fingers, "I have an artificial womb program-"
"Then why didn't you just use that in the first place!?" Loki facepalmed. "Don't pretend you couldn't have gotten Linka's eggs- we all know you still do stealth surgery on us!"
"I find your accusations preposterous and will not dignify them with an answer." Levi sidestepped, "but there have no successful incubations with the wombs… at least under their present conditions." His eyes gained a distressing gleam to them that the boys and parents both knew too well.
"All right Brainbox, what do you need?" Lynn folded his arms with a sigh of anticipatory discontent.
"The main issue with the wombs was…" Levi clicked his tongue, "well, there were a multitude of problems. However, they were largely resolved when the use of a suitable host to implant said womb within was obtained."
" 'Suitable host' ?" Loni queried with a finger to his chin, "you mean like those guys who wear those awesome tuxes and serve really overprices cakes and stuff to girls?"
"Not quite," Levi admitted.
"She means people, right Einstein?" Luke sighed.
"Correct my auditorily inclined Elder Brother Unit." Levi nodded, "so long as the host could distend to adequate dimensions, not even biological sex is a true barrier!"
"So, guys could get knocked up too? Bleh," Lynn gagged- and Rita shot him a look of amusement. "That sounds like one of Leon's weird boy-on-boy fanfics- why are you looking at us like that?"
Levi had a peculiar smirk to him.
It took Lynn only a moment to realise what his intentions and he backed away with arms waving in refusal, "oh no, you're not sticking them in me- oof!"
He found himself looking up to Leon's smirking face, the younger boy having caught him in a reverse hug. "Aww, what's the matter Lynn, afraid you'll like it?"
Lynn, shortarse though he might be, promptly broke free with nigh-inhuman strength; "no, nope, not even gonna contend with that- there's no way I'm letting him," he pointed at Levi, glaring at the rest of the room. "Stick a kid! In! me!
Where the hell would it even come out anyway!?"
"I have a surgical procedure in place-"
"Doesn't matter," Lynn crossed his arms and shook his head. "It's. Not. Happening."
"Fine," Levi rolled his eyes. "Then I suppose someone else will have to have quadruplets then-"
"Nah-uh," Luke backed away, "I've gotta rock on stage for livin' my Dude!"
"I'm a model," Lexx spluttered, sweeping his hands own over his body. "Can you imagine getting work with those stretch marks!?"
"I've gotta bend over for my jobs," Leif shrugged. "Ain't no two ways about it."
Similar excuses quickly emitted from the rest of the boys, save Leon and Lars.
"I won't lie," Lars quietly spoke up. "I just don't want to."
"I'll do it!" Leon excitedly offered, and then he clasped his hands next to his face like makeshift pillow and sighed. "Oh, it'll be just like my stories…"
"No, no you won't." Rita firmly reprimanded her youngest. "You're still in school, and don't think I haven't seen your marks young man. You need to study if you want to get into art school!"
"Fine…" Leon let his arms droop down and moped like a child. "But who's else can carry the kids- there's no volunteers!"
"Oh, don't worry about that," Loki spoke up with a smile, one with a cruel edge to it. "I've got an idea…"
"Excellent," Levi rolled his eyes. "That's more than I can say for the rest of you…
Wait, why are you looking at me?"
"This is completely unfair," Levi sulked, bloated and bobbing slightly as the waterbed settled down under his expanded weight.
"Literally how?" Loki rolled his eyes. "It's literally what you tried to do us."
"And did to to me!" The freshly thin Linka pointed at her again flat stomach.
"Because you all took part in the project!" Levi complained, "and yet I'm the only one to suffer the consequences thereof!"
"Actually…" Lynn Sr frowned, prompting a look of shock from the other males. "He has a point."
"Dad!?" Loki spluttered.
"We both think you're being unfair here," Rita confirmed with a nod. "Levi did wrong, but so did the rest of you-"
"We didn't know he'd do this!" Lexx spluttered. "Who would?"
"But you all intend to keep the children after they're born, don't you?" Rita raised her eyebrow at the rest of her own progeny, who collectively suddenly found something interesting to look at instead and mumbled excuses. "Well, your father and I agree that if you're going to have the 'fruits' of Levi's labour, then you need to do some of that labour yourselves!"
"What- we just finished getting them in him and now you want us to take them anyway!" Luke gasped. "C'mon man!"
"Don't 'c'mon man' me!" Rita snapped at her rocker son, then softened slightly. "And no, that's not what we mean;
Levi's going to be down here for a long time, and he's still your brother, and in a way you've all contributed getting him into this state."
"He did it to himself though," Leif muttered.
Rita elected to ignore that, and instead pulled out a tablet with a calendar on it- the siblings collectively recognising it as the chore-managing app they'd used in the later years of their collective childhoods; "he's going to need care, since he won't be able to care for himself soon. And I know he's been a pain, but he's your brother and he needs you so…"
"Ugh, fine." Lexx sighed, and marched over to the tablet, "what do you need us to do?"
"Thank you dear, just work out days when you'll be free to help him," Rita gratefully handed the tablet over to her son, who promptly walked over to the rest of the group and held it out for them to inspect. "You'll need at least one person per day- that's twenty-four hours with the night included, but apart from that you can divide the chores up among yourself."
"Yeah, yeah, that makes sense." Loki begrudgingly admitted. "Come on guys, we've gotta make sure he doesn't pull off anything else anyway-"
"Hey guys!" Loni suddenly wandered back to the group, having gotten a tad bored and like, totally needed to find the bathroom.
Also, he now held one of Levi's distinctive disintegrator rays in his arms. "Look what I found!"
"Loni that's a gun." Loki's voice was stone cold.
"I know right!" Loni looked at it with wonder, "it was like in a really dangerous spot too- like, there was this floorboard upstairs and it was totally loose, so I tried to put it back until Leif could fix it and this was inside- but it was on this arm thingy and there was this other door inside that was half open and I could see Levi right below!" he gasped, "oh my gosh! It totally could've opened up and zapped him at any second!"
The room froze for a moment, and Levi began to sweat at he felt the collective eyes of the room turn to him- Linka's in particular burning with rage.
"Levi?" The put upon sole girl of their generation asked through grit teeth. "Why did you point a laser where you were going to put me?"
"Well, you see…" nervous sweat began to form on his brow, "there is a perfectly logical explanation…"
A/N:
Thanks to Nuuo for Beta-Reading.
Nuuo also requested that for Broodmother Levi, his primary suggestion of DON'T (to the whole idea) be noted in the author's note.
It has been done. :)
