AN: This is set between Give Me One Reason and Finally
TW/ Mentions of miscarriage and cancer
Please be safe
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi if I did Eclare would have their baby.
It been about a week since the miscarriage Eli has been staying over at Clare's house he hated seeing her so sad and lost, he would watch her sleep most nights she couldn't sleep she would cry into his arms, he wished he could take all the pain from her she deserves better than this. He shook his head seeing the time it was 11: 48pm that the time that read on Clare's alarm clock that was making small ticking noise then it hit him he hadn't taken his medication today he was feeling like shit he knows he has to take his meds so he slowly got up to dig through his bag, lately he been to focusing on how Clare is handing all of this and forgot to check on himself, he knows if he didn't take his meds it could be very bad and he doesn't want to go back to his old ways before he was diagnosed with bipolar and especially doesn't want Clare to see him unmedicined he had hurt her heart before many times he wasn't doing that again he loved her too much to lose her.
Once Eli was in Clare's bathroom he was standing over the sink holding his meds in his hand looking into the mirror there was a glimpse of light from the street light outside. He takes a deep breath and takes it and remembers he had a bottle of water in his bag that he left in Clare's room so he goes back in the room reopening up his bag throwing his medication inside the bag and taking out the water, he uncaps the lid and presses the bottle to his lips as the cold liquid hits his throat as he swallowed and puts the lid back on he was pretty tired so he strips off his jeans and leaving on his boxers climbing in Clare's bed lying next to her wrapping his arm around her waist which Clare loved she felt safer with him and she must've felt his body in her sleep as she places her hands on him and stayed closer to him. Eli soon fell asleep, his mind drifted to a place it hadn't gone to in a year. Not since the greenhouse.
A few hours later he suddenly woke up from from nightmare it was possibly the worst he had it was losing Clare for good so his breathing heavier, sweat was dripping down his body he didn't want to wake up Clare since she hasn't had a good sleep since they found out the baby was gone at the appointment. He looks around the room gripping onto his covers but this must've woken up the blue eyed girl.
Clare slowly woke up, she sat up and noticed Eli was holding on dear life to her pink covered pattern duvet covers "Eli…" she put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"It's nothing Clare I'm fine…" he tries to act like he was fine but Clare knows him too well. He looked at her and she had a concerned face. "I'm fine" he cups her face.
"Eli? You know you can talk to me" she softly whispers resting her hand on his. He knows she's right he couldn't lie to her.
Eli loves this girl more than anything "Okay I'll tell you" he looks down "I-I had a n-nightmare" his voice shakes a little as he lets out a tear fall.
Clare hated seeing Eli sad she let go her hand so she could wrap her arm around his body pulling him in her clothed pj top. "Want to talk about it?" She asked about smoothing him.
He nodded "I was going to lose you in my nightmare… You were losing a lot of blood because- then I couldn't save you I was frozen" he cries.
It broke Clare's heart seeing him cry and the thought of losing her still scared him but this was different from when he crashed a hearse for fear of losing her. This was more when she had cancer and then lost their baby. "Eli, listen to me" she tears up. He snaps his head to her, those jungle green eyes looking into her ocean blue eyes. "You're not going to lose me okay I know the past few years so much has happened between us because we got through it all together so in my heart I know we are going to be okay" she cups his face stroking his face with her thumb.
"I think I need to call my therapist in the morning," Eli admits.
Clare noded "That's good Eli I really am proud of you" she pressed a sweet kiss on his lips.
Eli kissed back as he brushed her lips "I love you" he whispered in the kiss.
"I love you too Elijah Goldsworthy" Clare caressed his cheek. She smiles and looks exhausted from lack of sleep.
"Clare we should get sleep okay" he kisses her then laying back down and pulling Clare into his arms. Luckily it was a Saturday which meant they could stay home and Clare's mum let's Eli in with Clare after everything she got tired of kicking him out plus after Clare's cancer she didn't mind.
"Okay and Eli" she looks up at him.
Eli looks at her "Hmm" he was about to close his eyes.
"I'm thinking of going to therapy too," she says.
Eli was holding her close. "That's amazing Clare I am proud of you."
"Thank you and it's not just… you know what I have to talk about everything I've experienced to a professional" she explained.
"I support you and you will always amaze me Edwards and you deserve to have the best."
Clare smiles, "You really are the best thing that happened to me" she whispers before closing her eyes not long until she fast asleep. She really was tired and needed to sleep. Eli softly smiled at her. He was asleep not long after as the couple slept through the night and peacefully.
