Chapter 4
In my rush to get to class and my total confusion, I ran right past the Ancient Runes door. I had to back track. I was in a complete fog for the whole class. I tried to take notes and when I looked down all I had written was gibberish. When lunch came, I was on my way to the Great Hall when I realized that James would also be on his way to the Great Hall. I was NOT ready to see him again. I scurried back to my dorm room peeking around corners to avoid running into any unsavory characters on my way. I grabbed my candy stash and jumped on my bed and quickly drew the bed curtains. My roommates didn't usually return to our dorm during the day, but I really didn't feel like talking to anyone.
In Herbology, Marlene and Alice kept trying to draw me into conversation. I tried to focus on pruning the venomous tentacular, not only because it was a kinda dangerous, but also to distract my mind. When dinner came, I realized I couldn't have another meal of pure sugar. A growing girl couldn't subsist off of her last Honeydukes trip alone. So, I headed to the Great Hall with Alice and Marlene. I kept my head down and my focus on Alice and Marlene's conversation. That resulted in my bumping into people a couple of times. When we sat down, I quickly piled food onto my plate, not really thinking about what I was picking. I just wanted to eat as quickly as possible and escape to the library. Potter never spent much time there and so if I could avoid him at dinner, I wouldn't have anything to worry about until DADA tomorrow. However, I should have known that I wouldn't be that lucky. As Marlene was complaining about the amount of homework that Slughorn assigned for potions, I felt a body slide onto the bench next to me.
"Alright, Evans?" A shiver ran up my spine and it took all of my self-control to not react to him. The smell of his soap drifted over me. And even though the sleeve of his robe barely brushed the sleeve of mine, it was as if I was feeling his arms all over again. Who does this guy think he is? You make out with a girl in a secret passageway, just do the decent thing and pretend it never happened! That's the normal thing to do. Right? I guess it wasn't something that people did every day. There wasn't a protocol for it.
"That giggle potion is pretty easy." I said deciding that maybe if I pretended that he wasn't there that maybe he somehow wouldn't be. "It seems like it will take a lot of time, but most of that is just waiting for it to brew. You can knock out our Herbology essay while you wait. That's what I plan to do anyways."
Marlene and Alice gave me strange looks, surprised that I didn't acknowledge Potter's greeting. Unfortunately, their silence gave Potter an opening.
"How abouts…" He said in a low (and not at all sexy) voice as his hand gently fell on my shoulder. "You and I could work on that homework together. You know two heads are better than one." I spun around, brushing his hand off of my shoulder.
"The day I need help from you on homework, is the day I lose half my brain in a pub brawl with a centaur." I shoved back from the table and threw my bag over my shoulder, then edge of it smacking Potter in the face as I stormed out of the hall and made a bee line for the library.
At first, I chuckled about the 'accidental' bag-smacking. But any thoughts that were connected to Potter eventually led to the memory of the hidden corridor. I could practically feel the electricity running through my veins and the way his lips felt on my lips. I laid out my books, parchment, and quills on a table in a quiet corner of the library. I was rarely ever disturbed back in the section that had held the household spells and gnome history books. But Potter wasn't as much of a liba-phobe as I thought for I hadn't even finished the opening paragraph of the essay I was working on when he appeared around the corner of the book shelf.
"Alright, Evans?" I wish he would retire that catchphrase of his.
"Potter, would you please just leave me in peace. I have a lot of work to do."
"I was wondering…" He trailed off slightly, taking a few steps forward into the aisle, almost hesitant. "If we should talk… you know, about earlier." Rather than responding, I just blinked at him slowly. He stared back. I realized that if I wanted him to leave me alone, I would have to make that clear.
"Honestly, Potter." I said leaning back in my chair. "What's there to talk about?"
"Well, I thought-" He started.
"Leave me alone, Potter."
That night I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes, I just saw James's sad face when I told him to leave me alone. I was almost like he was genuinely hurt that I didn't want him around. I thought back to the conversation where Marlene had told me that James was 'my type' and then I thought about Remus and I discussing the way James has changed. It was like a slide show of all the things I had witnessed this year of James having changed. His soft tone with the first years and his intelligent discussions with the professors that did not have an ounce of his old flippant tone.
I sat bolt upright in bed.
Merlin's Beard! I like JAMES POTTER! I could barely believe it. I had spent so long despising him and so much energy holding back my feelings. Before I knew it my mind was soaring through fantasy. I somehow ended up on the back of a unicorn with my arms around him, when my fantasy was interrupted with the realization that I had brushed him off so harshly. He probably wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
