Chapter 5

The next morning at breakfast, I was playing with my food more than eating it. A knot was twisting in my stomach as I ruminated on all of the terrible things, I said to James especially the way I blew him off after we kissed. I made it pretty clear to him that I wanted nothing to do with him. I think I had finally gotten my point across, just in time for me to realize that he wasn't all that bad and maybe I did want to try to get to know him in a way I never had before.

I took my time getting ready that morning hoping there would be enough time for me to come up with a plan on how to act when I saw him. But I had made it all the way to sitting in the great hall and I had nothing. Do I ignore him like I often do? Do I try to catch his eye and wink? None of my options seemed any good. Should I just come out and apologize? I knew that would be a what a mature person would do when she realized that she had been in the wrong. She would go up to the person she had wronged and apologize and then ask him out and admit that she was totally taken with him. But I couldn't possibly do that. Could I?

"Lily!" Marlene's call woke me out of my revelry. I jumped and saw that both her and Alice were giving me odd looks.

"Did you hear what I said?" Asked Marlene.

"Sure," I muttered quickly, not wanting them to know what I was actually thinking about. "I totally agree with you." Just agreeing with Marlene was usually a safe bet if you didn't want any follow up questions. In this case I was wrong, Alice and Marlene started laughing and stopped abruptly when I gave them a confused look

"What's with you today?" Marlene demanded.

"Are you ok?" Alice asked at the same time with a much more sympathetic tone.

"I just said that we should skip first period to brew up some of that zit-be-gone in the potions classroom because Slughorn doesn't have any early morning classes."

Crap! First period. James was in that class. Maybe he would skip so I wouldn't have to run into him. There was no guarantee of that. But if I skipped class, than I wouldn't have to see him.

"Lily," Alice said softly, laying her hand on mine. "If something is bothering you, you can tell us about it. We're your friends. It's what we're here for."

She was right. I had never really kept anything from them before and we had the type of relationship where we told each other everything. Maybe too much at times. And if I couldn't tell them stuff, then who could I tell? After all, they had told me some pretty crazy stuff and I hadn't turned away from them so they wouldn't do that to me.

"Ok, I've got something I need to tell you, but not here." I said quietly glancing around the great hall. No sign of the Marauders. "Let's go. Quickly!" I stood up and walked as fast as I could without running and Marlene and Alice jumped up to follow me.

"Where are we going?" Marlene asked.

"Potions classroom."

"Are you serious? I was half joking about that! What if Slughorn catches us?"

"I'm his favorite student. We won't get in trouble."

"Lily Evans skipping class! Isn't that the first sign of the apocalypse?"

I took a deep steadying breath. "I like James Potter." Marlene and Alice had very different reactions. Marlene quirked an eyebrow and muttered "Seriously." While Alice started squealing and jumping up and down excitedly.

"You have to tell him!" Alice practically shouted.

"I can't." I groaned. "That's the problem."

"He asks you out twice a week." Marlene said. "Just say yes. He'll be so shocked he might even faint."

"I don't think he'll be asking me out anymore. I kinda shut him down pretty hard."

"Haven't you been doing that all year? What could you have possibly said to him that would deter him?"

"Well, I kissed him." That got a huge reaction from both of them. I proceeded to tell them the whole story.

"Lily, you clearly like him. You can't continue to be mean to him."

"It might be too late. I doubt he'll ever talk to me again."

"Potter's ego may not bruise as easily as one might think. Who knows?" Alice said with a shrug. "Just don't mess it up if he gives you another chance." Little did I know that I would get one much sooner than I could've predicted.

We decided we couldn't skip our entire day, so we headed to DADA. As I turned around the corner, I nearly ran into someone. That wasn't surprising as it was an intersection between two busy halls and were often used to get between classes. The surprise was who it was. It was James. The whole scene felt very familiar. Except this time, we weren't alone in a dark secret passage. My muscles tensed as if going into my flight or fight response.

"Hey, James." Dang it. I never called him by his first name. Some much for acting natural.

"Hi, Lily." He said suspiciously.

"Excited for Defense Against the Dark Arts today?" Wow! What a stupid question. No one gets excited about class except nerds like me.

"Yes, the reading for today was fascinating!" James actually did the reading? Maybe he was as big of a nerd as me. "I've always wanted to know more about dementors."

"Dementors!" I went into full panic mode. "The reading I did was about non-verbal counter-jinxes!" I started shuffling through my bag in search of the assignment list.

James laughed. "You're too easy, Evans." I looked at him and his coy little smirk that somehow filled me simultaneously with anger and butterflies.

"You're going to give a girl a heart attack." I turned to Marlene and Alice. "What chapter did you guys read?"

They rolled their eyes. "Lily, the reading is not required. So, no one except you did it."

"I did." I turned back around to Remus standing at James's shoulder. "It was Chapter 8. And I spoke to Chase this morning and he said we're going to do another practical exercise with the box, like on our first day."

"Ah! Looks like I'll get another chance to wipe the floor with you guys." James said punch Sirius in the arm.

"Don't tell me you forgotten that I won last time, Potter." I said playfully. James seemed surprised. This felt normal. The witty banter, it's what we did.

"Don't worry, Evans." He shot back. "I won't let that happen again."

"What makes you think you have a chance this time?"

"I followed your example. I did the reading."

"Potter, you could read the entirety of the library and you still couldn't hold a candle to me when it comes to application."

"Evans, I'm nothing but application."

I laughed. So much for witty banter. "I guess we'll just have to see who's the last wizard standing." I moved to go towards the classroom.

"Go out with me?" James said it almost as if it fell out of his mouth.

"Potter, you couldn't handle a date with me."

"You wanna bet, Evans?" I took a step closer to him. We were inches away from each other now and I almost wanted to close the gap between us completely. I'm not sure if it was my good sense keeping me from doing so or if it was the fact that so many people were watching. I answered him in a low voice.

"Careful what you wish for, Potter." With that, I turned on my heel, sweeping my hair over my shoulder so it flicked him in the face. Then I sauntered off towards the DADA classroom.

Throughout class, I kept catching glimpses of James out of the corner of my eye and he would be looking my way and then quickly look away if he thought I saw him.