Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Challenges listed at the bottom.
Word Count: 2550
Chapter 1 of a collection of rewritten fics. This one was originally written in 2013, and was… questionable in quality XD Hopefully I've improved it somewhat from what it was back then.
Pairing: HarrySeverus
Future
Harry tapped his quill against his leg as the word he needed for his speech evaded him. It was late, and he'd left his speech to the last minute, busy as he was with the last few days of term.
It still didn't feel real that it was the eve of his last ever day as a student at Hogwarts.
"I'm heading to bed," Ron said, stretching out. He pressed a kiss to Hermione's cheek, and grinned at Harry. "You ready, mate?"
Harry wrinkled his nose. "I'll be up soon, I just need to finish this off. See you in the morning."
Ron nodded and padded off to the staircase. Hermione was curled up in the corner of the sofa, a thoughtful look on her face as she stared into the fire. They were all feeling the odd combination of pride and nerves, and Hermione was also making a speech, as the Head Girl.
Harry himself hadn't wanted to do one—he wasn't Headboy, or even a Prefect—but Dumbledore had talked him around, as he often did.
He wrote a few more sentences on his parchment, and was scrolling it up when Hermione caught his attention, pointing to the window, where a familiar owl had landed on the ledge outside.
Frowning slightly, Harry put the parchment on the table and got up from his seat to allow Hedwig into the room. "What have you got for me, girl?" he asked, smiling when she nipped affectionately at his fingertips before sticking her leg out for him to untie the letter she was carrying.
He stroked her head and she hooted at him softly before hopping back out of the window. He knew she'd be back in the morning to leave with him, clever bird that she was.
"Who's writing to you this late at night?" Hermione asked, her eyes curious as she looked at the letter Harry was opening.
"It's off Severus," Harry replied distractedly. He'd know that writing anywhere, both from the red ink that usually splayed across his potions essays, and from the letters that had been sent back and forth between them when he was helping Harry to find the Horcruxes on Dumbledore's orders.
Hermione smiled, rolling her eyes at the lovesick grin Harry gave her before he turned his attention to the letter.
As he read it through once, and then again, he knew his expression had to have changed, because she asked, "What's wrong?" with concern evident in her tone now.
Harry swallowed hard and handed her the letter, fighting back the tears that were suddenly stinging his eyes. He felt like he'd been hit with a blunt object, dazed and confused and hurt.
She made an angry noise, handing the letter back to him. He took it with shaking hands, and looked back down at it, as though the words could have changed in the time it took Hermione to read it.
But they were still the same.
Dear Harry,
As much as it pains me to write this letter, I know it must be done. I've put it off as long as I could, but it must be said, if not for my sanity, then for your heart.
While I never want to cause you pain, I believe a little pain now is better than a lot of pain later, and unfortunately, I feel that this will end in pain, regardless of when I say what I must.
We cannot continue with our… relationship. While you've given me some of the happiest months of my life, Harry, you deserve so much better than me. Tomorrow, you'll graduate and when you do, I don't want to hold you back from finding your full potential.
You have a whole life in front of you, free and fully your own, and I cannot allow myself to stand in the way of that.
When you leave Hogwarts tomorrow with your peers, it will be the last time you'll hear from me. I'll shake your hand in the Great Hall, as tradition dictates, and then I'll get on with my life, as should you. You have so much potential, Harry. So much.
And you deserve all of the happiness in the world. I hope, more than anything else, that you go out and find that happiness for yourself.
I know you believe you love me, perhaps you do at that, but you'll love another, and possibly another after that. You are young, impressionable and resilient, and you will discover so much as you find your place.
I am not quite so resilient. You might say I'm doing this for selfish reasons, hurting myself now, to save the deeper hurt later, when you realise for yourself just how much better you can do than remain with your surly old Potions Professor.
I wish you the best of luck in anything you aspire to, Harry. I know you will do amazing things, and I'm sure Albus will tell me all about it in great detail until he is blue in the face. I can't wait to hear of your accomplishments.
Whoever you come to love in the future will be so very fortunate to have gained your favour, Harry, so make sure you give it to someone deserving of it.
Make sure you give it to someone who can make you as happy as you make them.
Yours, always,
Severus.
A tear slipped down his face, and he wiped it away angrily. Folding the letter, he stuffed it back in the envelope and looked up at Hermione.
"Why does he think that I can just… walk away?"
Hermione shook her head. "I… think he's trying to do what he thinks is best for you, albeit in a misguided way. I think, perhaps, he's discounted your stubbornness though."
Harry looked back down at the letter. He wasn't going to walk away, and as he thought about the following day, about the speech he had to make, his resolve solidified.
Severus would have no doubt how he felt before graduation was over. He'd make sure of that.
…
Harry tightened the red and gold tie around his neck as Ron exited the bathroom. Dean, Seamus and Neville had already left but Harry had promised to wait for Ron.
"Hermione told me about the letter," Ron said, as he dressed himself. "We were so close to a drama free graduation, mate. Make sure you beat him around the head later, yeah?"
Harry snorted, slipping his speech into his pocket. "He's an idiot, and he'll know that by the end of today."
Ron snorted. "He should have known it wouldn't work. You never do take the easy road, and let's be honest, loving Snape is the hardest thing you're ever going to do."
Harry rolled his eyes and threw one of his pillows at his best friend. "Don't be a jerk."
Ron threw the pillow back and then tied his own tie around his neck. Harry eyed the messy knot and then shook his head. "You know Hermione is going to take one look at that and redo it, right?"
Ron grinned. "Of course. And while she's doing that, I can sneak all the kisses before she starts panicking about her speech again."
Laughing, Harry straightened his bed. "Smooth."
"I have good intentions," Ron replied. "She deserves a few moments of not panicking, right?"
"Sure, mate. Sure."
"You have no faith in me, Potter, I'm offended."
"You're something," Harry agreed. "Ready?"
"Ready. Merlin, can you believe we're graduating? There were times I thought this day would never come."
Harry could only agree; for a long time, Harry had believed he wouldn't even live to graduation.
They walked down the stairs together for the last time to find Hermione waiting for them in the common room. There were other students milling around, nervous excitement evident in the noise levels and the jitteriness that seemed to be contagious.
Harry's prediction came true almost immediately, though Hermione didn't let Ron tempt her into more than one chaste kiss, despite his 'best intentions'.
When it came time to walk down to the Great Hall, Harry tensed up. He was nervous, and he couldn't relax. He knew how big of a chance he was taking, and he knew it could quite easily blow up in his face, but he had to try.
He had to show Severus he was serious.
Flanked by Ron and Hermione, as he had been since he was eleven years old, Harry took his place amongst the seventh years.
He could do this.
…
Harry clapped—and whistled loudly—when Hermione finished her speech, sharing a grin with Ron as she received her scroll of graduation from Dumbledore and made her way along where the teachers sat behind the podium, shaking each of their hands.
Only the Heads of Houses were there, the other teachers watching along with the students and parents gathered in the hall. Harry hadn't been able to stop himself from glancing at Severus every few minutes.
When she reached Professor McGonagall, Hermione was pulled into a hug from their Head of House, and Harry thought he could see tears welling in the Professor's eyes. Harry supposed that they'd given her enough to worry about over the last seven years, that she'd earned tears of relief to see them graduating healthy and whole.
Dumbledore retook his place at the podium and smiled down at them. "Our last speech, before we finish off with the scrolls, is from a young man that all of you know. A young man who, despite the challenges thrown at him, has still managed to maintain good grades, all while fighting a war.
"I'm speaking, of course, about Harry Potter. Up you come, Harry."
Harry took a deep breath, and stood up. He felt Ron squeeze his hand, and he smiled gratefully at his best friend before he made his way up to the podium. He met Dumbledore's eyes for a moment, and the old man twinkled at him, smiling widely as he stepped back to give Harry the room.
Harry cleared his throat nervously.
"When the Headmaster asked me to do a speech, I was… reluctant. You all know I'm not the one for speeches. Publicity has never been particularly kind to me, and I've developed something of an… avoidance for it. That said, I'm now glad that I'm here.
"Hogwarts, despite the war, despite the pain, and fear, and suffering that's been happening outside the walls, has been a safe haven for all of us, perhaps me especially.
"While we've all seen the daily papers, and have heard news from families, from friends, we've been safe here. Hogwarts, no matter where you're from, what house you're in, what blood is running through your veins… Hogwarts is home. For all of us."
He could see people, classmates, their families and professors alike, nodding their heads in agreement, and he smiled before his face grew solemn.
"Voldemort tried to take that from us. He brought the fight here, to our home, to a place where children as young as eleven felt safe, and he tried to destroy that.
"You all fought alongside me, to end him. That victory will never belong to just me, it belongs to all of us, and to the many other people that came here to fight. While some of those people are no longer with us, that victory is theirs too. And we did win, but that was only the first step. To continue to victory, we have to go out into the world and live our best lives. Choose professions that will make us happy, make connections that will bring us joy. Find love that will be there to hold us up when the sadness feels like it's going to drown us."
Harry cleared his throat again, glancing down at his speech.
"The bond we share, our whole year group, be you Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Slytherin, is one that cannot be broken. Our experiences here at Hogwarts have been unique. Sometimes hard, sometimes amazing, nobody will ever have a school career like we have." He paused for a moment and then added, "Thankfully."
There were chuckles, and Harry grinned for a moment.
"With the defeat of Voldemort, I was finally able to think about a future that I hadn't been sure I'd ever have. Jobs, and relationships, and houses, and all the things I hadn't let myself think about before. You know, normal things.
"I've known, since fifth year, with the DA, that teaching is a passion for me, and that's what I've chosen to pursue. I'll be going to Merlin University in September with many of you, with the intention to earn a Defence Mastery, and then, with the Headmaster's agreement, I'll be returning to Hogwarts, my first home, to teach the next generations how to defend themselves."
There was a deafening cheer at that, and Harry paused. He could feel his cheeks heating up and he knew he was blushing, but he didn't care. When the noise died down, he continued, relying on the courage his house was known for to finish with what he knew he must say.
"The last few months have been the happiest of my life, and some of that is down to the end of the way, but most of it can be laid on the shoulders of one person.
"I… hope… that as he listens to my speech, he realises that I'm talking about him, and I hope that he listens to the next part especially hard." He could see people glancing around, trying to figure out who Harry was talking about, but he knew only a few knew about Severus, and Harry knew he had to keep it that way. At least for now. "When you find happiness, you need to hold onto it. You can't be scared of what will happen in the future, because it'll only hold you back. I've found happiness, I've found love, and I intend to hold onto it. If I can leave you with any advice as we go out into the world, it would be that. Hold onto your happiness."
Harry smiled and tapped his hand on the podium. "Thank you all for listening, and congratulations. It's been a wild ride, but we made it. All of us."
He stepped back and turned to Dumbledore, who was beaming with pride. He was handed his scroll and swiftly pulled into a hug by the Headmaster, who murmured in his ear, "Well done, my boy."
Harry squeezed him gently before he stepped back. "I couldn't have made it this long without you, Sir."
He made his way down the same route Hermione had taken, gaining another hug from Professor McGonagall. He shook hands with both Sprout and Flitwick, who had warm smiles and pride filled words for him, and then he found himself face to face with Severus Snape.
Harry was relieved to see the pleased gleam in the Potion Master's eyes, and as they shook hands, Severus squeezed gently, a small, unnoticeable-to-anyone-else gesture that told Harry he'd been heard and understood and would be welcome in his quarters later that evening.
"Quite the speech, Mr Potter," Snape said softly. "Congratulations on graduating, Harry."
Harry quirked his lips. "Thank you, Severus."
Written For:
Lyric Alley: 19. I had good intentions
Showtime: 11. Drama (word)
Amber's Anime Adventure: 25. Red
Bex's Bits and Pieces: 18. Teacher/Professor
Limited Edition - Wuthering Heights: Severus Snape
Alphabetti: L: Love
NeonFae's Nibbles: Jam Roly Poly: Tempt (1) / "You deserve so much better than me." (2)
365: 117. Blunt
Musical Yearly: 10. 70's: Psycho Killer: I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax
Insane House: 876. Stubborn
