Short chapter this week :-)


Chapter 4

"I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)"

The Rembrandts

As expected, Angela is in complete control of the situation and the "massive problem" is nothing more than a minor mishap with the decorations on a few of the desserts. Honestly, I'm not surprised. Biting back my first instinct to roll my eyes and tear into Alice for blasting the situation way out of proportion, I make sure to compliment Angela instead. My friend has clearly had enough of Alice's micromanaging, completely ignoring her as she thanks me. Then she returns to her work, keeping her head down and turned away from the woman next to me. Jane, Bree and Alec flutter around the small area, getting everything organized and ready for service like the well-oiled machine I've trained them to be, but I can feel tension rolling off them in waves. Releasing a tired sigh, I grab an extra apron hanging on a chair nearby and turn to face the woman who is clearly the cause of their discomfort.

"Everything appears to be in perfect order," I begin, but am unsurprisingly quite rudely interrupted.

"Bella, you can't be serious?! This is a complete disaster!" she points to the ten to fifteen slightly smudged mini-desserts Angela has separated from the several hundred we've made.

Moving a hand to my hip, I cock my head to the side and pierce Alice with a hard stare. Perhaps it's the outfit and make-over, or maybe it's the fact that I'm fiercely protective of my staff, but I've just had it with Alice's over the top attitude.

"Alice," I bite out her name, making sure I have her attention before I continue. "A few smudged desserts are not a disaster in any way shape or form, but since it's clearly an issue for you, you are going to help me fix them."

Alec releases a sharp laugh before he can stop himself and I can distinctly feel Jane and Bree struggle to fight back a giggle of their own. Keeping my eyes fixed on Alice, I make sure to hold her gaze as her eyes bulge.

"You can't be serious," she responds, shock evident in her tone.

Shaking my head, I thrust the apron into her hands as I move over to one of the boxes where I know I'll find an assortment of berries and edible flowers.

"Oh, but I am," I pause, quickly organizing the workstation. "This isn't rocket science, Alice, and to be honest I think it might teach you a thing or two about what categorizes as a disaster and what doesn't, so get your ass over here and help out."

Luckily, I don't have to ask twice.

§§§

With a little bit of encouragement, Alice proves to be quick learner. Her background in design has given her a keen eye for colors and structures making decorating a few desserts child's play for her. Nevertheless, it appears that she actually might be enjoying herself. In no time at all I'm able to leave her and offer my assistance elsewhere. Although Angela and the rest of the crew have everything under perfect control, it feels nice to help out and escape the hustle and bustle of the ongoing Farmers Ball. I've always enjoyed being more behind the scenes anyway and just the idea of returning physically makes me shudder.

It doesn't take long for the somewhat tense atmosphere to slowly give way to the fun and happier one we've all worked so hard to create. Even Alice cracks a smile now and again at our light banter and when Jane and Bree approach her to compliment her work, she responds with an honest to God genuine thank you. The expression on Angela's face has me giggling for almost a half hour after that. When the waiters arrive and our little conveyer belt begins to turn, I marvel at the incredible feeling of how each of us manage to work together so seamlessly and in perfect harmony. In some ways I almost wish we had more events like this so that we could do this more. At the café we usually worked in overlapping shifts and don't get the opportunity to work this closely. The incredible feeling of accomplishing something together like this was perhaps the one thing that I truly missed from my time working in a restaurant in Paris. Just the thought of losing Alec and Jane from our little team, makes my stomach churn painfully.

As we send out the mountain of food we've spent hours preparing, I see Alice watching us with a look of amazement on her face. Studying her a little closer, I begin to wonder if I can glimpse a hint of longing there as well, but I can't be sure. There's a small break before dessert and I take the opportunity to approach her. Placing a plate with a small variety of the food we've just sent out in front of her I can't help but notice a subtle cringe spread across her face. Picking out two of the desserts she's decorated, I set one of these in front of her as well.

"I shouldn't," she begins as though taking a break to eat is some kind of crime.

"Alice, relax for half a second, will you? If you're anything like me, you probably haven't taken the time to eat all day?"

She doesn't look convinced, but I can tell that I'm correct in my assumption. When she sends a glance over at the others, I shake my head.

"They've eaten already, and they'll probably eat again once service is over, don't worry."

She still looks skeptical.

"You hound me for months about this menu and when you finally have your chance to actually taste it, you try to pretend you're not hungry?!" I purse my lips at her before I pick up what I know is a deliciously tender skewer, drizzling a slice of lemon over the meat before I pop it into my mouth.

Alice hesitates and I begin to wonder if she perhaps isn't feeling well because of the look of disgust I see cross her face before she manages to hide it. Achingly slow, she picks up one of my all-time favorites: the mini mac and cheese pie and takes the tiniest bite I've ever seen. Finding her reaction a little strange, I try not to make a big deal out of it, quietly eating my assortment of delicious finger foods instead. Every once in a while, Alice will lift something to her mouth, taking a miniscule bite of it before washing it down with a sip of water. If I didn't know any better, I'd think there was something wrong with my food. Needing a distraction, I point towards the dessert she's decorated.

"You really did a great job with those."

Her grey-green eyes light up with a spark of pride, but she doesn't respond.

"Do you bake at all?" I ask, trying to start up a conversation.

Alice violently shakes her head before releasing what I now recognize as a fake laugh.

"God no!" she exclaims as though it's the most outrageous thing she's ever heard.

It takes us both a beat of a second before she realizes that her exaggerated answer is both unusual and a little insensitive considering that baking is my main source of income.

"What I meant to say was," she back pedals, looking flustered. "I wouldn't even know where to begin in a kitchen. I literally couldn't make food to save my life."

"You used to enjoy it when we were kids."

Both Alice and I startle at the sound of a new, but very familiar voice that has just entered our little sanctuary.

"Angela, do you have any more of those cupcake lasagna things? They were absolutely incredible?"

Leah pulls up a chair and pops down next to us, smiling from ear to ear when Alec hands her a plate of what she's just asked for.

"Oh my God, thank you! Paul literally stole half of my meal!" she complains, pulling off her Stetson as she brushes her black hair away from her face.

Glancing over at Alice, I realize that she's quickly become increasingly uncomfortable and looks about ready to bolt.

"Oh wow, Bella, those look amazing! No one is going to want to eat those." Leah's dark eyes widen as she points towards the desserts Alice helped decorate.

I clear my voice and send Alice a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, but I can't take all the credit for these. This is why I mentioned the baking, Alice. If you ever have a chance, I'd really recommend you try your hand at it, I really think you'd enjoy it. And if you keep decorating like this, you'll be giving me a run for my money real soon!" I say brightly, trying to ease some of her unease.

"You used to love baking cookies with your Grannie back in the day."

Leah's trip down memory lane has the opposite effect on Alice and I see her entire body seize up with stress.

"Yeah, well, things change," Alice responds, her answer vague as she rises to her feet.

I'm about to argue and tell her to stay, there's something distinctly sad in her tone that I desperately want to get to the bottom of. Unfortunately, I' m not given the chance to do so.

"Well, I need to go check on the party. I think I need to have a word with the DJ about changing things up a little. It may be a Farmers' Ball, but that doesn't mean that we have to have country music on the entire time."

Then without another word, she turns on her heel and leaves the room. Leah simply rolls her eyes, but I can see the hurt and annoyance in her as well. Flipping through my high school memories I can't remember ever seeing them together, but if Leah had intimate knowledge of what Alice was like as a child… well… they must have known each other at some point. Watching Alice's back as she briskly leaves the room, I look towards Leah who simply shrugs. Contemplating my next move, I can't shake the feeling that I need to check on Alice.

"Give me a second, will you?" I tell Leah, who simply waves me off, starting up a conversation with Angela as I head after Alice.

For someone who'd just spent the past few months annoying the hell out of me with her insistent and bratty behavior, I really shouldn't give a damn, but for some reason I can't help myself. Rushing to catch up I turn the corner and watch as she slips out the side entrance and out into the alley. Confused by her actions, I pause, yet again trying to decide what I should do. Glancing upwards, I briefly remember finding some much needed solitude last year when I discovered a quiet spot on the second floor near a large open window. A window overlooking the alley. My heartbeats accelerate and I feel adrenaline pump through my body as I almost run up the stairs to the second floor. Weaving my way past the more popular spots, I follow the narrow path behind a large wooden column and find my personal little sanctuary. Just as the year before, I see that someone has left the wooden shutters wide open, allowing the cool night air to enter the increasingly heated building. Making sure to stay in the shadows I carefully inch my way closer to the window. The muffled sounds of someone retching is almost too low to hear over the loud music in the barn, but when I see her unmistakable frame huddled over a garbage can, I feel my heart sink at the ramifications of what I'm seeing.

Oh, Alice.

§§§

Walking back to our make-shift kitchen, I feel my mind is whirling with what I've just witnessed. Suddenly her aversion for the food I put in front of her makes sense… And that darkness I recognized earlier clicks into place. Although I never suffered from an eating disorder, I was well acquainted with the concept of self-hatred. I'd lived in that dark hole for most of my life. Instinctively, I touch the spot on my right arm that not only houses my very first tattoo, but the very reason for why I got that particular tattoo in the first place. Shaking the bad memories from my mind, I pause and take a moment to collect myself.

Fuck.

Trying to make a decision as to what I should do about Alice, I slowly make up my mind to mention it to my therapist. Jasper had been my voice of reason for so many years now and I had no doubt that he'd be able to help me navigate through this as well. Decision made, I immediately feel a little more like myself.

Stepping back into our little private area, I'm unable to hold back a smile at the image before me. Somehow Leah's managed to wrangle Alec into a little grape throwing competition. It's truly a sight to behold and Leah, in her flowy dress and boots appears to be winning.

"You have to get the angle right," she explains, each of my sweet Three Musketeers gazing up at her as though she literally just hung the moon.

Not that I can blame them. The Leah that returned (for the second time), is absolutely radiant and perhaps the kindest person I've ever met. No wonder they've fallen under her spell. Angela throws a grape at her from across the room and I watch in awe as she expertly manages to catch it in her mouth with ease.

Jesus.

"You know, I really don't know if Paul will be willing to join the circus now that you've just moved back."

Leah shoots me a look, her mouth moving as she chews.

"I don't know. With some training, we might have a dual act on our hands," she wiggles her eyebrows playfully.

I chuckle and shake my head at her.

Angela claps her hands together loudly, reminding Jane, Bree and Alec that they still have quite a few things they need to get done before they can call it a night and join the party. Walking over to Leah, I place my hand in the crook of her arm and slowly begin walking towards the very edge of our little nook. I really don't feel like returning to the party, but I know that it's inevitable. Leah pauses, sighing heavily before she turns to face me. Her bright and confident expression from earlier is now replaced by one filled with unease and obvious discomfort.

"Sam and Emily are here," she reveals, and I feel like I've just been punched in the stomach.

I'm the absolute worst friend.

"Fuck, Leah, I'm so sorry for being so absent up until now."

"Pfft," she purses her lips, drawing her eyebrows tightly together at my apology.

"You had stuff you needed to do, don't worry. I just had to escape for a minute."

Studying her, I try to get a gage on her emotions. The last time she saw Sam she panicked and quite literally ran away. She said her therapy had been going well and that she was ready to move back home, but…

Her husky chuckle pulls me from my musings.

"I'm fine, Bella, I'm not going to run to the hills after seeing him this time," she rolls her eyes at me as soon as I meet her gaze.

"But it still sucks, you know?" she admits after a while.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I tug her into an awkward side hug, luckily, she doesn't seem to mind.

"Paul's literally about to blow a gasket."

She smiles and I snort, both of us slightly intrigued by the idea. After what they did to her back in Highschool… well, let's just say that I would gladly throw a punch myself if it came to it.

"Where is he?"

Leah sighs.

"Edward and Jake took him for a walk to clear his head after I told them I was going to come find you."

She picks out her phone from the small purse she's discarded on a table nearby.

"But they should be-."

"Leah?"

Speak of the Devil.

Paul's voice does nothing to hide the obvious worry and fear in his tone. When he steps around the corner, I can see how distraught he is, but his burning black eyes calm the moment he sees his girlfriend. The love he openly displays for her makes my heart ache once more. God, I want what they have. They meet each other halfway in a passionate embrace that makes my cheeks burn. Tearing my eyes away from them to give them a moment of privacy, I feel my heart stutter as I'm met by the most beautiful pair of eyes I know.

Edward.

The deep longing and rare vulnerability I find in his gaze mirrors my own and I immediately feel my heart switch into high gear. Could it be possible that we might want the same thing? Unfortunately, the moment is abruptly broken when Jake steps out from Edward's side, forcing my attention towards him instead. My date.

"Cinderbella, we've come to take you to the Ball!" he says playful, walking over to offer me his arm.

Forcing a smile to my lips, I carefully allow my eyes to flicker back in Edward's direction, but am met by a turned head as he averts his gaze. I feel my heart sink with disappointment, reminding myself that if something feels too good to be true, it usually is. Facing Jacob again, I give him a small smile. It's clear that our little plan to make Edward jealous isn't working, but for the first time I realize that it doesn't really matter. Reminding myself of how far I've come, I place my hand in the crook of Jacob's arm and I allow him to lead me away from my workstation and out into the beautiful venue. Shaking my hair away from my face, I feel a rush of resolve spread through me as I make a decision that would make my therapist proud. For the remainder of the evening, I make a promise to myself to do what I can to have a good time. Reaching my free hand out towards Leah, I send her a saucy wink as both she and Paul walk over to join us.

"Come on, let's get this party started!"

The carefree laughter that rises from her lips sends a thrill of happiness through me, reminding me of what is truly important in life. Yes, I may not have found the love of my life just yet, but the amazing friends and family that I am blessed to surround myself with, makes me lucky as hell.

With an excited "Whoop" coming from Jacob, we all make our way to the dance floor.