AN: Hello, my dears! I LOVE reading your reviews! Thank you!

I've been dealing with a few personal issues lately, but things are turning around and I hope I'll have time and inspiration to write more during the Easter Break. I still have a few chapters lined up for this fic.

Take care of yourself!


Chapter 5

"I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now
If we don't hold hands you'll be killing me now
I need a romance, one chance
I just wanna know, will you slow dance?
I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now
If we don't hold hands you'll be killing me now
We need a romance, one chance
I just wanna know, will you slow dance?"

AJ Mitchell

Rosalie and Jared meet us on the way to the dancefloor. Our expanding group taking over a rather large area as we all move to the fast-paced rhythm of the music. Alice and Tanya also arrive and for once I actually don't mind the fact that Edward's ex is dancing quite close to me. Focusing my attention on Leah, I raise my arms over my head and enjoy the way the beat flows through me. Edward grabs his sister's hand, surprising us all when he twirls her around with ease, coaxing out both a smile and a small laugh from her in the process. The way his eyes light up at her reaction, proves just how much he cares for his little sister. Apparently, Mrs. Cullen must have put both of her kids into ballroom dancing, because the seamless way they each dance is way beyond the rest of us. Jake tries to mimic Edward and do the same moves with me, but my two left feet and his lack of rhythm turns our dance into something quite comical instead. Our efforts, however, start something and soon we're all looking to dance with a partner instead of on our own.

Paul proves to be surprisingly good as well, but when Leah jumps at the chance to dance with Edward, he slows things down a little when he takes my arm. Alice gets passed off to Jared as Jake takes on the challenge of spinning both Rosalie and Tanya around. My new dance partner does a good job and actually teaches me a little before he begins twirling me around. It's exhilarating and incredibly fun, and I soon find myself too caught up with keeping up with him that I completely forget about taking in my surroundings. In fact, I don't even notice that we've moved further away from our group of friends until he suddenly releases his hold on me to welcome his girlfriend back into the safety of his arms. Without thought, I allow myself to spin into the strong arms of Leah's partner.

The moment our bodies touch, however, I feel a jolt of something incredibly powerful run through me and my heart immediately leaps into my throat. Time appears to stand still for a beat of a moment as our eyes meet and for a brief second, I consider if I should flee the scene. A mesmerizing and breathtaking jade holds my eyes captive as he moves a large hand to the small of my back, applying the gentlest hint of pressure, almost as if he can read my mind. His other hand curls around my right, fitting my body perfectly against his tall frame and I feel a delicious shiver run down my spine. Immediately my mouth runs dry as I feel the heat of him against the entire length of my body. A rush of heat explodes in the pit of my stomach as his scent completely surrounds me. Around us, I hear the music suddenly change into a slow and almost sultry tone.

Holy Fuck, I'm slow dancing with Edward Cullen.

As if he too is surprised by the sudden change of both partners and music, he very slowly begins swaying us back and forth, carefully testing the waters. When I don't object, his movements become a little more confident, making sure to keep our bodies carefully aligned at all times. His thick eyebrows twitch ever so slightly, and he wets his bottom lip as though he's trying to come up with something to say.

"Uh," he clears his throat "I'm really glad we got a moment to talk."

Confusion grips me at his words and almost nervous tone. The way he is acting is highly unlike him and it sets me a little on edge. Luckily, I don't have to wait long for an explanation.

"I've been trying to find good time to apologize to you, Bella," he rushes out, his sparkling eyes burning into me with an intensity that makes my heart race.

"I should never have showed up drunk on your doorstep like that. Let alone after having blown off our meeting earlier that day-. Christ," he pauses, looking flustered.

"Edward-," I begin, but he successfully cuts me off.

"What's worse is that I still can't remember fucking shit about that night and I have a really bad feeling about it."

Yeah, I really didn't need that reminder.

I don't know if he's even realized that he's pulled me a just few inches closer.

He sighs and averts his gaze for a moment before he suddenly fixes me with the most earnest and apologetic look, I've ever seen in my life. Immediately my breath hitches.

"I'm truly sorry for taking advantage of your hospitality and for my appalling behavior, Isabella."

Finding it difficult to breath, let alone speak, when he's piercing me with that intense gaze of his, I quickly lower my eyes, focusing instead on the sleek material of his grey tie. A small laugh escapes my lips at the absurdity of the situation before I have a chance to stop it. What I end up revealing next, however, clearly proves that I've lost my mind.

"God, Edward, you have to stop dazzling me like that."

This time he's the one to release a sharp laugh of disbelief.

"I dazzle you?"

The loud snort that drops out of me in response is as far from ladylike as there is. Acting completely on instinct, I find myself burying my burning face in the safety of his wide chest. The fresh and intoxicating scent of his aftershave washes over me like a tidal wave making me feel lightheaded. Fully expecting him to push me away, I'm pleasantly surprised when his chest bounces against my face with a deep chuckle at the same time as both of his arms wrap around me in what can only be described as a tight hug.

"Can we please just forget that I just said that?" I beg, my voice muffled against his chest.

This only makes him laugh harder which in turn ignites an overwhelming sense of youthful giddiness inside of me. His long fingers curl around the top of my arms, applying the smallest amount of pressure, creating a tiny amount of space between us so that he can meet my gaze. His lips are turned upwards in the sexiest of half smiles, and his playful and pleased expression causes a swarm of butterflies to explode in my belly. Lifting my hands in front of my face, I try to hide my burning cheeks, but Edward is quick to pull them away, placing them back where they were before we stopped dancing. He expertly leads us back to a gentle sway, his green eyes dancing with humor.

"Only if you promise to forgive me?" he presses, eyeing me like a child begging for a piece of candy.

Unable to hold his gaze, I look away. Mumbling my answer beneath my breath.

"Of course, I forgive you."

I just really wish you'd remember kissing me.

Edward ducks his head to force my eyes to lock on his. My poor heart skips a beat as we share a smile.

God, if my teenage self could see me now, slow dancing with the Prom King.

"I really want to make it up to you, though."

Edward's expression grows serious.

"And we still need to have that meeting about combining your cheeses with my ciders."

Why does that sound dirty for some reason?

"How about you come over with some samples tomorrow afternoon? I'll be opening some of last year's products tomorrow and I would really love to get your input on a few of the blends."

I'm nodding my head before I've even truly understood what he's saying.

"I-I'd love to," I manage to stutter, my mouth temporarily unable to form words.

There's a flash of something… darker (?) that flies across his face.

"That is if Jacob doesn't mind?" he all but bites out the name.

I do nothing to hide my confusion.

Why would Jake care?

Then the penny drops, and I realize what Edward is implying.

He can't be jealous. Right?

"No," I shake my head, struggling to create an appropriate explanation without completely destroying our little ruse.

"Jake and I aren't dat-. I mean, we aren't an item. Not yet anyway."

"But he'd like to be."

Once again, I feel like I'm a fish out of water, completely out of my element as I unsuccessfully try to come up with a fitting response. Edward beats me to it.

"You're too good for him."

My eyes widen at the absurdity of his words and for a second, I wonder if he's joking, but the seriousness in his gaze gives me pause.

"Jake's a great guy, Edward."

His stoic expression doesn't change.

Edward's hot palm on the small of my back once again applies the smallest hint of pressure, moving our bodies deliciously close as he spins us expertly around in a circle. Feeling a surge of confidence flow through me, I quickly shoot a similar question right back at him.

"What about Tanya?"

Edward's lips twitch as though he finds my question entertaining.

"What about her?" he shoots back.

Annoyance bubbles inside of me at his lack of answer and I shake my head in disbelief that I'm actually pursuing this.

"Will she be joining us in the tasting?"

His sharp laughter makes me smile.

"No," he pauses.

"Tanya's taste palette is horrendous, and she has no real interest in Cider pressing," he stops himself as though he's just revealed something he shouldn't.

"Besides, she's staying up at the main house with my Mom and Alice. I started renovations on the old Bakehouse when I moved back home, so we don't usually cross paths that much."

"Except for today?"

His eyebrows rise to his hairline at my question as he silently urges me to explain my question.

"I got the impression that you came here together."

Edward's deep chuckle sends a rush of goosebumps through me and I can feel the small hairs on the back of my neck rise to attention. When he spins us one more time, I feel myself grow dizzy, but it's not because of the movement. It's because of the fact that he lowers his head to whisper something in my ear, his hot breath tickling the sensitive skin on my neck.

"I've been here all-day hanging lights and decorations for Alice. Tanya arrived here with my mother and Carlisle."

Stunned by his response, I move my head back to see if he's telling the truth. Edward's pleased smirk slowly falls from his face as his eyes pierce into mine.

"Tanya and I haven't been a thing for a very long time. She's just a friend, Bella."

This certain piece of information has my heart leaping excitedly in my chest as my head spins with confusion. Why on earth would Tanya be here, if she wasn't trying to rekindle her relationship with Edward? It didn't make sense. Although my questions and doubts continue to twirl around in my mind, I'm distracted by the subtle movement of Edward's hand at the small of my back. Automatically, my eyes fly to his and the intense emotion I find there makes my blood pound so loudly in my veins that I can hear it in my ears. Suddenly aware of everything I can hear, I realize that the music is quickly coming to an end.

Emboldened by his revelation and ardent look in his eye, I take a leap of faith and carefully lean my cheek intimately against his warm chest and upper shoulder. The last time I was this intimate with him, he was drunk out of his mind and didn't remember the next day, this time though… this time, I pray to God that he'll remember. In no time at all, I feel his chin rest naturally on top of my head, causing my lips split into the widest of grins. Our little dance feels like a scene out of some dream, and I desperately don't want to wake up. Unfortunately, as the last strings of music give way to a much more upbeat song, we're forced apart as reality cracks through our dreamlike bubble.

"Edward!" Alice's excited voice makes me jump. However, I can't help but notice how Edward's hand lingers around mine for a few extra moments even after I've moved away from him.

"I have the best news!"

I force myself to hold back a groan as I recognize Tanya's shrill voice joining Alice's as they both close in.

"Edward, it's really the most amazing news!" Alice rushes to her brother's side, her body practically vibrating with barely contained excitement.

Tanya joins her, jumping up and down as she clutches her incredibly expensive phone to her chest. Seeing that several of our other friends are gathering around, I decide to give Alice and Tanya some space. As I begin to move away, I quickly realize that Edward's long fingers are still wrapped around mine. However, when I make a move to pull my hand away, he simply tightens his hold. Startled by his reaction, I throw a glance his way, only to find that he is waiting to meet my gaze. My eyes widen when he sends me a small wink and a soft smile, as though he's thanking me for the dance. Then he finally releases my hand. Tanya immediately takes my place, thrusting her phone into his face.

"Irina absolutely loved the photos I posted on Instagram and she just messaged me saying that Brides Magazine might be interested in doing a photoshoot here?! Wouldn't that be amazing?!" Tanya exclaims.

"Oh, Edward, we've been talking about marketing the Orchard as a venue for weddings for months and we're almost finished with the renovations of the Honeymoon Cottage? This couldn't have come at a better time! Being featured in a major magazine spread in one of the largest bridal magazines will surely kickstart the business in no time. God, I have to tell Esme!"

"Wait," Edward grabs his sister's arm before she can walk away.

"We are in the middle of the harvest, Alice. With the picking and Cider pressing in addition to all the other chores around the farm, there's no way we can get things ready for a big photoshoot right now."

Alice looks as though she could kill her brother.

"Surely we can ask people to help out. This and my article about farm-living will really set Forks on the map in more ways than one. It's an incredible opportunity for the entire community, Edward," Tanya pushes, clearly surprised by his lack of excitement.

Edward's jaw clenches so tightly that I swear he'll chip his teeth and his expression is hard when he meets her gaze.

"Absolutely not."

Before anyone has had a chance to respond to his firm command, we all watch as he decisively strides across the venue, making his way to the exit.

Well, I guess the party must be over.

§§§

Clutching the soft throw pillow to my chest, I watch as the small metallic balls of the miniature pendulum click together and move in perfect symmetry. When I first started coming here, I remember how the soft sound of the balls colliding would annoy me to no end. Years later, I've learned to find the predictability and consistence quite soothing.

"So, tell me about the Ball?"

My eyes fly to the man seated on the other side of the small, wooden dining table. His hazel eyes are both warm and steady as he meets my gaze with a soft and reassuring smile. Jasper Whitlock is another constant in my life that I've slowly learned to both accept and rely on. Before I met him, I'd seen quite a few therapists and tried a wide range of different treatments, to no avail. The dark voices in my head were still loud and overpowering and every night I'd scare the living daylights out of my father with the constant night terrors. Then there were the paralyzing panic attacks that came out of nowhere. A lot of people thought it strange that I still lived at home after I started culinary school and when I left for France, there was a lot of speculation as to why my father decided to come along. In all honesty, he was the only one who was able to get through to me when the world around me began closing in. After moving back home, I came to the decision to give therapy one last try. Jasper had just opened a practice in Forks, and during our very first session, I knew things would be different.

"I actually had a good time," I answer after a moment of hesitation.

His lopsided grin fills me with pride.

"No triggers or setbacks?"

Alice's face flashes through my mind, making me pause.

"Not really."

Even I can hear the uncertainty in my tone. Jasper cocks his head ever so slightly to the side, a strand of his chin-length hair threatening to fall into his eye. The thing I liked most about Jasper was that he didn't look the part. His long hair, constant five o'clock shadow, ripped up jeans and wide range of rock band t-shirts made him appear more human somehow. He was a far cry from some of the know-it-all's that I'd previously gone to, whose only answer was to pump me full of anti-depressants instead of addressing my real issues.

"There's this girl, well, woman, I guess. We went to school together. She, uh," I stumble to get the words out.

Rubbing my hand over the tattoo of a black rectangle with an eye and a lightbulb in the center, I feel unmistakable rills of where I know my perfect line of scars are hidden. Exhaling, I once again meet his gaze.

"She's hurting herself," I reveal. "I saw her throwing up in the alley behind the barn and I recognized the pain in her eyes."

Jasper changes his stance ever so slightly, closing the leather notepad he has balanced against his thigh.

"And how did that make you feel?"

I take a moment to truly consider what he's asking me.

"I want her to get help."

His dark head nods in silent affirmation.

"That's an admirable goal, Bella, and the fact that you can recognize that there's a way out for her, proves just how far you've come," he takes a breath.

"Unfortunately, though, there isn't much either of us can do if she isn't able to recognize that she needs help."

"So, you don't think there's anything I can do?"

Jasper purses his lips before he answers.

"That's not what I meant. There are absolutely quite a few things you can do. I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

Although incredibly annoying at times, Jasper's honesty and straightforward attitude is yet another thing I really appreciate about him. He smiles when I roll my eyes at him.

"You can start by opening up about your own issues and how you were able to move past them."

"We aren't really that close."

Jasper chuckles.

"Then perhaps the first step is befriending her."

"Ugh!" I groan, but I already know that he has a point.

"Can't you just talk to her?" I try, making my voice as sweet and convincing as possible.

"That would break a long list of doctor-patient confidentiality agreements, Bella, and you know that. Whatever you say here is in strict confidence, and if you ever manage to convince this "friend" of yours to come and see me, the same rules will apply to her. That's how this works."

"Fine," I sigh, knowing that I must sound like a petulant child, but I don't even care.

Jasper's voice is raspy when chuckles.

Needing something to do with my hands, I carefully place the pillow onto my lap, and I reach out to bring the pendulum to rest on top of it. Then I force the balls to come to a complete stop, before eventually starting them back up again.

"Any other juicy details I should know about?"

I shoot him a glare, suddenly regretting the fact that I'd called him up a few days ago, freaking out over the fact that I'd just announced to the world that I'd be going to the Ball with Jake. I nervously nibble on my bottom lip, focusing all of my attention on the moving metallic balls as I try to conjure up enough confidence to open up about the rest of the evening.

"We danced," I finally blurt out, after a long pause.

I can see that Jasper is trying to keep his expression strictly professional. He's failing.

"Jacob or Edward?"

That familiar wave of nerves and unease washes over me, making me feel antsy and on edge. Placing the pendulum back on the table, I get to my feet and pick up a handful of the small stuffed toys Jasper has in a large container at the end of the couch. Walking towards the padded wall, I begin throwing them against it, needing a release for the energy building up inside of me.

"Edward. Well, both I guess, because I danced with-," I shake my head the obvious difficulty I have to even talk about this.

Groaning, I take a deep breath to calm myself, before turning to Jasper to give him a straight answer.

"Edward and I danced."

Jasper simply nods, silently encouraging me to continue.

I throw another stuffed toy at the padded wall.

"And it was incredible."

I throw another.

"We actually talked, and I didn't freeze up like I usually do."

Another.

"It felt good. Comfortable."

I pause, studying the soft ball I have in my hands.

"He asked me if I wanted to come by today," I reveal in a small voice.

Once again, the nervous energy surges up inside of me.

"It's more of a business meeting really. We're going to try and match some of the Gorgeous Goat cheeses with the Cullen Ciders."

Silence builds for a moment as Jasper gives me a moment to process my thoughts.

"So, Leah and Seth will also be there?" he finally asks.

"No," I quickly reply, momentarily confused at the mention of the two other involved with creating the cheese.

It takes me a moment to realize what he's implying.

"No!" I repeat, my tone of voice much stronger now.

"Jazz, he doesn't feel that way about me."

I've said these words so many times over the years, but after our conversation last night, I can't help but wonder if there might be a hint of a chance that I'm wrong.

My therapist and good friend simply shrugs.

I throw another stuffed animal at the wall.

"You won't know that for sure unless you put yourself out there."

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm afraid of.