It was quiet. Only the soft humming of the air-conditioning filled the house. In a roof that housed only two people, it wasn't rare to have this kind of silence.
In the midst of the silence, Konno Junko stared softly at the person beside her. She was specifically staring at Mizuno Ai's sleeping face. They both were seated on a long couch while leaning on each other. When they got home, they decided to sit down on the couch to rest after their routine shopping, but due to Ai's physical condition, she ended up feeling a bit tired and fell asleep on her seat.
The younger woman had a facemask pulled down to her chin and yet bandages cover half of her face. All of those didn't obstruct the rare peaceful look on her sharp features, though.
Junko was lost in thought. Her blue eyes just silently observed and took some mental notes.
'Ai-san wears bandages and a facemask when going outside, but when at home, she either wears a facemask or bandages.
'Oh, I think she skips the bandages and just wears the facemask when she's alone lately.'
Even though Junko has been living with Ai for a few years, their schedules didn't always meet and usually, they would only see each other for a bit before they go on with their lives.
And as time passed by, she still noticed every change Ai went through.
At first, she would always wear bandages over her skin even though her wounds were already healed. She didn't mention exactly why but she heard her say it gave her a sense of comfort. The bandages back then would cover every skin of her body as much as possible, even her torso that was hidden by her clothes. Junko, seeing how the girl struggled in putting them on, would always assist whenever she got the chance. She would remember how the girl reluctantly agreed everytime and would sit rigidly as she wrapped her up.
She noticed how she didn't like her staring too much at her scars.
So one day, without thinking too much, she told her, "I think they're beautiful."
She remembered how the girl's shoulders jolted at her sudden words. Her ears could still hear the subdued hics and sobs that went after as she solemnly continued in wrapping her torso with those white bandages.
Ever since then, the amount of bandages would decrease slowly. She would request not to cover the parts hidden by her clothes one by one, until only her face, neck, and arms were left covered. Her posture also seemed more relaxed and the reluctance wasn't as strong as before. Junko could only smile secretly and did what she was told.
But thinking about all these memories, she felt like a hypocrite. She clutched the fabric of her clothes on her chest as she exhaled shakily.
In the middle of her musings, a ringing sound startled her as she stifled a gasp.
She searched around to find the source of the sound, and it seemed to come from Ai's pocket. It was on the other side far from her so she tried to reach her hand and take the phone as gently as she could. The girl didn't show any signs of waking up and it made her feel a bit relieved.
She finally succeeded in taking the phone and she immediately checked the caller. It was Saki. She pressed a button and answered the call.
"Hey Ai! 'Ya free today? Cus y'know, the painting."
It seemed like Saki was asking if she and Sakura should come this afternoon for the portrait painting. With a hushed voice, she replied.
"I'm sorry, Saki-san. Ai-san fell asleep. I don't know when she'll wake up."
There was a short 'oh' on the other line but it quickly turned into a snicker.
"Heh~? I'll just let the sleepin' beauty get 'er sleep then. Thanks for answerin', Junko. I'm gonna tell Sakura we won't be comin' there later."
"Thank you, Saki-san."
Junko chuckled a bit. Before she could speak again, Saki spoke from the other line once more.
"No problem! I don't want to disturb you two… in whatever you guys are doin'. M'kay, bye!"
Junko's face immediately blushed at what the other girl's words implied.
"Wh-what?! W-we're not like tha-"
Beep. Call ended.
Junko was frozen in place for a few seconds before looking back at Ai's peaceful sleeping face. She gulped audibly.
'There's no way we'll…'
Her train of thought was interrupted by a surge of complicated emotions.
Seeing that person up close would always give her a fluttering feeling, something she would only feel with her. But she knew it well. She couldn't let herself indulge in that feeling.
She shouldn't.
Junko smiled with a tinge of sadness in her eyes. Actually, their hands had been connected the entire time. From the rough texture of the bandages, she could feel the warmth emanating from the girl's palms. Junko felt relieved. With one last squeeze, she finally let go.
She adjusted the girl's sleeping position carefully so she wouldn't fall before she stood up and walked away.
"Yo, Sakura!"
As Sakura opened the door of her room, she saw Saki already sitting inside. The blonde greeted her with a big grin and a short wave, then stood up quickly in one motion.
"Saki-chan, I still wonder how you can enter here before me…"
"Hehe, it's a secret. Also! No portrait session for today, lovebirds too busy pampering each other."
Sakura raised a brow in confusion, then soon, her mouth formed into an 'o' as she slowly got what the other girl said. But even so, she still asked just to be sure.
"So we won't be going out today, but what do you mean by lovebirds?"
Saki snickered, "Y'know, I called Ai's phone earlier. Guess what happened."
Sakura finally entered the room fully and closed the door. She sat on the bed after removing her shoes by the doorway.
"What happened then, Saki-chan?"
"Junko answered."
"Oh…"
Saki sat on the bed, too, beside Sakura. She was talking so energetically, a grin plastered on her face. Sakura still didn't get what she was implying. What's different if it's Junko who answered? She just waited for the other girl's continuation.
"Yeah, turns out, Ai ended up fallin' asleep so Junko answered instead. I just had a feeling that I should leave them alone or somethin'. I've always noticed there's something going on with those two, and if that's true, good for them."
"Really? Maybe they're just very close friends."
"No, no, you don't get it."
Saki let her back fall on the bed with her arms behind her head. Now staring at the ceiling, she noticed the cracks from last time had gone bigger for some reason. She called for the other girl's attention and pointed upwards.
"Hey Sakura, isn't that bad? It wasn't that big before."
"Eh?"
Sakura also stared at the ceiling and noticed the cracks on the ceiling. It extended to the adjacent wall but was hidden by the cute wallpaper she placed when she moved in. Now that she took a good look at it, it certainly became bigger.
"Maybe I should tell this to the landlord…?"
"Yeah, no shit. Tell them."
"I'll message them then."
Sakura brought out her phone and notified the landlord of the increasingly dilapidating building. If this went on, the building might just crumble down suddenly. As the thought came to her mind, she felt a shiver down her back. If the building collapsed, where would she move to? And what if it collapsed with her inside of it? It was a scary thought.
As for why it reached this kind of condition, the landlord didn't really care and just let it be. They would only react when the worst happens. Remembering this, Sakura breathed out a sigh and sent the message still.
But before she could close her phone, a notification popped up on the display. When she looked at the ID, she immediately smiled and typed again. Saki noticed this and peeped a bit.
"Oh? Did the landlord reply already?"
"Oh, no, not really."
"Eh…"
Saki let the matter go and stared once more at the cracks on the ceiling. She suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Hey, wanna go out for some chicken? My treat."
Ai slowly opened her eyes. Still drowsy from sleep, one of her hands fumbled about in search of something. She was a bit confused. Something felt missing.
When she finally fully opened her eyes, she noticed that there was a warm blanket over her. The facemask hanging on her chin was gone, too. Then from there, she finally realized she fell asleep on the sofa and someone tucked her in.
"Junko…"
She removed her hands from under the covers and rubbed her eyes. She opened and closed her hands a bit before standing up and stretching her body. Her bandaged hand reached into her pocket but she felt nothing inside.
"Hm?"
She patted all her pockets then looked around until she found her phone on the coffee table. Heaving out a relieved sigh, she pressed the power button to check the time.
'I'm glad I didn't sleep that much this time.'
There were times she would fall asleep and wake up after 30 minutes, but there were also times it would take up to 12 hours, even though it was rare. Having trouble sleeping was much more frequent than sleeping in. There were just a few times where she would find it difficult to wake up no matter how much she tried. Good thing it wasn't like that today.
After turning around, Ai checked her call history if she missed some calls, but she saw a received call instead. It was from Saki. But as for how it was answered while she was sleeping, there was only one person who could do that. She unknowingly smiled as she exhaled, then pocketed the device back to where it was before she fell asleep earlier.
Junko probably answered the call for her, but what kind of answer did she tell them? Knowing Saki, the call was probably about the portrait painting, asking if they could come at this hour. The call was made an hour ago based on her call history. Just from this, Ai concluded Junko probably told them she was asleep and couldn't do the painting. She scratched the back of her head and smoothed her hair with her bandaged fingers. She should thank Junko for that.
Speaking of Junko, she hadn't seen her ever since she woke up.
'Maybe she's in her room?'
She deduced Junko wouldn't be going out of the house after they just shopped, so she easily concluded that she was in her room. The blanket that was covering her earlier looked like it belonged to Junko, too. Maybe it was a good time to give it back and say thanks. She picked it up and folded it neatly before making her way to her room.
As she stood in front of the door, she suddenly felt a bit nervous. It had been a while since she had been here, and just the thought made her feel a bit reluctant. But knowing Junko, she would most likely just let her in like usual.
She breathed in deeply and twisted the knob.
"Hey Junko, I'm here to return thi-"
"Eep!"
Ai stopped in her tracks and just stood there, still holding the door wide open. What she saw immediately brought a tinge of red on her bandage-covered face.
Turns out, Junko was changing and her bare back was facing her. Ai couldn't move immediately as she gulped down. She felt warm but more than that, she felt confused.
'This… Eh?"
On the other hand, Junko covered herself with her newly washed clothes that were neatly folded on the bed before Ai barged in. She placed them on her chest and faced the doorway in a panic.
"Don't… Please don't look!"
Ai jolted. Her shaking voice put her out of her trance as she quickly closed the door and stood with her back against it. Outside the room's door, she breathed out a long sigh. She didn't expect this to happen so she was really shocked that she froze on the spot.
'I should have knocked first…'
But what really bothered her the most was the way Junko reacted. Her voice was shaking, and her wide eyes stared at her in fear. She could also see her slender form tremble as she tried to cover herself as much as possible.
Ai's contemplative expression slowly turned solemn and forlorn. She wasn't new to this kind of reaction, but it didn't make it less painful. Especially when…
Ai clenched her bandaged hands and held the blanket tighter. As she dragged out a shaky breath, she heard Junko calling from inside the room.
"Ai-san, you can enter now…"
While trying to calm herself down, Ai turned around and opened the door once more. With her serious, red eyes, she stared at her intently before placing the blanket on the bed. Junko, who was sitting timidly on the bed, averted her eyes from the younger girl.
"I… I'm sorry for earlier."
Ai glanced at her, still with a serious gaze. But if one looked closely, there was a hint of softness and sadness in them that made Junko avoid it more. Ai sat down beside Junko and also apologized.
"No, I'm sorry. I should have knocked."
Junko shook her head in reply and finally willed herself to look at the bandaged girl's face.
"Junko."
"Yes, Ai-san?"
The white haired woman forced out a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. The sight made Ai wince and bite her lip as an overwhelming emotion coursed within her. Seeing her reaction, Junko's eyes were tinged with sadness then she took one bandaged hand in hers.
What she didn't expect was for the dark haired woman to pull her hand and wrap her tightly into an embrace. All she knew was her sense of smell was suddenly flooded by her friend's sweet fragrance that reminded her of an autumn morning. Her cold body was plunged into a soothing warmth that almost melted her insides. Her aching heart beated louder than it normally would as she realized what was happening.
"Ai… san?"
Ai didn't say anything. She just hugged her tighter as a reply. Junko could feel her face flush, but the comforting feeling that the embrace gave her was stronger. While closing her eyes, her arms wrapped around the other woman gently. She let herself indulge in the feeling and be selfish for a while.
The two of them enjoyed the silence in each other's arms and let the feeling sink in. As Ai felt Junko relax against her, she waited for a while before reluctantly pulling away. Junko felt a bit disappointed that the warmth was suddenly taken away from her, but she knew she shouldn't be as selfish as she was right now. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as she stared in front of her, her gaze meeting with those light red eyes that belonged to the most important person to her.
"Junko."
Ai broke the silence by calling her name. Junko blinked a bit with the sudden intensity of her gaze.
"You told me before, that this…"
Ai raised a hand to her face and pulled the bandages away, exposing the warped, reddish skin underneath. It took her a lot of courage to do this, but if it was for her, she felt like she could do anything.
"...You told me this was beautiful, right?"
Junko, who was speechless, nodded silently with her eyes staring blankly. The suddenness of it all made her thoughts freeze.
Indeed, it was beautiful to her.
She didn't lie back then.
"Then."
Now, both of Ai's hands gripped her shoulders gently. Junko still remained silent, her blue eyes just staring at the girl in front of her. As she saw her open her mouth again to speak, she couldn't help but hold her breath.
"...Junko, I really think your scars look beautiful, too."
Ai stared at her, her eyes sincere as she smiled brightly. It made her feel a bit embarrassed to say her thoughts, but she felt this was the best thing to do.
The reason Junko acted that way earlier was because her body was also riddled with scars. Reddish stitches run all over her body underneath her clothes that it almost made for a grotesque painting.
It wasn't just Ai who survived a brutal accident. A few months after Ai's fateful incident, Junko was in a plane crash that killed a lot of people. Due to some miracle, she was found intact and alive, but with numerous severe wounds all over her body. The doctors who treated her took this as a miracle with how low her chances of surviving were.
She might have survived, but she still lost a lot of precious people in her life due to that incident.
"You know back then, I was really afraid that I lost you. I thought I'll be left alone again."
Ai glanced a bit at the picture frame at the side, the one with the two of them before any of the incidents. It was nostalgic, especially for Ai who was completely disfigured. She would sometimes forget how she looked back then if it wasn't for the pictures that Junko kept with her.
"I still don't get what you find beautiful about this. It's ugly. It's twisted. It's rough. I can't feel much in some places. But when you told me that with a smile, I couldn't help but… believe you. That it doesn't matter if people find it hideous, or if it constantly reminds me of everything painful, as long as you find it beautiful…"
Ai couldn't stop her tears as it fell freely on her raw, bumpy skin. She couldn't feel how warm those tears were, but the presence of her dearest friend in front of her was enough to make her feel warm inside.
Junko was the same. She was just staring silently at her, but soon, she found herself tearing up and sobbing quietly.
"As long as that one person accepts me for who I am, everything else doesn't matter. So… I hope I can make you feel better about yourself too, Junko."
Ai removed some bandages on one of her hands and wiped Junko's tears with her dark, warped fingers. She was showing herself bare, away from the comfort that the bandages gave her. But if it was just Junko who could see her ugly self, she found it easier to do. Because she knew that she wouldn't turn her away, that she would always find her beautiful no matter how much she hated herself and her circumstances.
Junko couldn't speak but her tears were flowing non-stop. She felt hypocritical, telling another how her imperfections looked beautiful to her but couldn't even accept her own. She watched how Ai slowly parted ways from the bandages through the years that only her face and her arms were covered now compared to back then. She felt lucky that her scars were easier to hide, but that didn't make the insecurities smaller. It didn't affect her everyday life, but everytime she saw those scars crisscrossing on her body, she would remember the painful past and feel a bit repulsed at herself.
Ai suddenly chuckled, "I guess we're a pair of hypocrites, huh?"
Junko blinked at this, then giggled. "Yeah, I think so too."
They exchanged laughter after wiping the tears on their faces. Having someone who understands your pain, and everything attached to it was a soothing experience. They were alone in their small world, tending to each other's wounds and building the other once again.
"We only have each other now, so whenever you need me, I'll back you up."
"I'll be doing the same."
It was the promise they made when they lost almost everything, the first spark that made them move forward bit by bit. Thinking about this, Ai suddenly felt bitter about herself and smiled in self-mockery.
"Ahh, I still have a long way to go."
Junko knew what she meant and held her scarred face gently.
"It's okay, one step at a time. I know you can overcome it all one day."
"...I hope so."
There were still a lot of things that were left unsorted for Ai, stuff that she couldn't move on from no matter how much she tried that left a bitter taste in her mouth. Saying something as noble as the stuff she mentioned earlier, she felt like the bigger hypocrite between the two of them. She could only smile softly while leaning at Junko's touch.
'In the end, I really…'
Ai cut her thoughts off while she stared at those teary, blue eyes. She wouldn't dare complete it, or else something would break deep within her. She was satisfied like this, sharing another afternoon with her. This was enough, or so she made herself believe.
Unbeknownst to her, Junko was thinking the same.
It was like a secret they kept even to themselves. They didn't want to acknowledge it. It was something so light but heavy at the same time. They couldn't let things change between them, they were both afraid it would be irreversible. It was complicated, they didn't understand it fully either.
All they knew was this was enough for them.
For now.
Like testing the waters, one of them spoke.
"I've known you for years, and yet I haven't seen you with boys. Don't you think it's time for you to get a boyfriend? You're already at that age."
"Th-thats…! That's shameless! I am a professional, I can't just…!"
"Woah, calm down, I was just teasing you."
Ai laughed at her reaction. Junko had her flushed face into an alarmed expression. She also looked displeased as she pouted a bit and breathed heavily. Her anger was clear and it showed on her face and actions that Ai ended up laughing apologetically.
"Right, I was just joking. You look better when you smile."
'I can't deny you look cute when you're pouting too, though…'
"Ai-san…"
Junko stared at her friend in front of her who was smiling softly. It had been a while since she had smiled this much, and she felt really thankful that she got to see this sight in front of her once again.
"Those… things aren't in my mind, it'll only just hinder me. And I can't really find a… a relationship in my situation, you know that…"
'Especially when I have my eyes set on one person.'
Ai chuckled. Without her knowing, her shoulders noticeably relaxed, which didn't get unnoticed from the other woman's eyes. A teasing smile made its way on Junko's face. It was now her turn.
"You look relieved after I said that."
"Eh? D-Do I?"
"Yes. You should look at your face right now."
"I-I don't understand what you're saying."
Ai averted her eyes, but Junko just laughed at her sudden shyness. These moments, they hoped it would last forever.
"It's been a while since I ate that much. Thank you, Saki-chan!"
"Hmm! No problem!"
Sakura and Saki were on their way home on a motorcycle after they ate out. Sakura had been thrifting lately that she would only buy the cheapest ingredients and prepare a filling meal with the extra money that she had. It was a bit bland, but she didn't have much choice as long as it fills her up and gives her energy throughout the day. So when she heard that Saki was treating her out to eat some grilled chicken, she immediately said yes and followed her out.
While they were driving on the streets, they saw a commotion in the direction of Sakura's apartment. With a gulp, the two made their way as quickly as they could.
When they arrived, their jaws hung open in shock. They couldn't believe what they were seeing.
The worst thing that they predicted had already happened.
The apartment building crumbled down on one side and was on the verge of a complete collapse.
"Are you serious…?"
