=Normal POV=
[Saturday, 3/3/2018; 8:30 pm]
[Berk; Raseri House]
It might have been the scariest thing anyone saw from Hayden. The friends had grown so accustomed to Hayden being quiet, reserved, and barely speaking two words. The group had also seen Hayden enter a panic attack, have a nightmare, and break down against Trayden, but none of that compared to them seeing Hayden straight up get scared, cry, then violent where it took Miya and Rachel to hold Hayden steady long enough for Rachel to give Hayden a shot. When Hayden's movements suddenly ceased; then his eyes closed and head dropped limply as the rest of his body did, Rachel moved back a bit.
"He's out," Rachel informed. "You can let go, Miya," she added. Gently, Miya released Hayden's arms. Rachel checked his pulse and temperature before nodding. "Alright, let's move him," she said. Miya lifted under Hayden's arms, and Rachel got his legs while they moved Hayden onto the couch and set him down lightly.
"Wh-What did you do to him, Mom?" Aria, Trayden's only younger sister, wondered.
"I just gave him something to help him sleep, sweetie," Rachel smiled.
"But he wasn't tired," Verena, Katie and Bryan's younger cousin, pointed out.
"No, but he was agitated and sometimes that's the best way to calm someone down," Rachel replied. "Dex, why don't you take the younger children downstairs to play?" she offered.
"Sure, Mom," Dex nodded while leading Aria, Verena, Eliot, and Cole away and down the stairs into the basement. Eliot and Cole were two more of Trayden's brothers, younger, of course.
"H-How long is he going to be out?" Hailey asked.
"Twelve to twenty-four hours, but I have the medication that will reverse the effects. I'm only doing this to keep him from lashing out until we have his medication available. This is just a powerful sedative, usually administered through a vein. The onset of effects take five to ten seconds; overall peak effect happens after a minute," Rachel sighed.
"These sedatives are built to control an aggressive patient who can't cannot control themselves," Miya added. "The removal of the medication which helps Hayden stay relaxed and at a level mood so quickly caused the reaction. In short, drug withdrawal,"
"Anti-Depressants do not cure the disorder, but they help manage it while a patient gets help through therapy. A psychiatrist will slowly remove the medication by issuing smaller doses to wean it out of the system that way this type of behavior doesn't occur," Rachel stated.
"Why…Did you tell him to stop when he was holding his arms?" Ford inquired.
"He was hurting himself," Rachel informed, lifting her arms to copy the motion of what Hayden was doing. "From this position, he was gripping his arms so tightly that he was scratching himself," she continued. "As Miya explained, the sudden removal of the medication that prevents those types of outbursts is the cause. And sedation is used to keep a patient from lashing out and hurting themselves or someone else. Miya admitted it was difficult to hold Hayden; its raw, unbridled strength. I did no differently than what an ER doctor would have done,"
"So, Hayden relies on the medication?" Trayden asked. "As soon as he realized what time it was he started panicking and saying he needed to go home,"
"And mentioned he couldn't do this," Devon pointed out.
"Yes, which isn't the best thing, but perhaps there had been no choice," Rachel shrugged. "I do not know; I'm not his psychiatrist. I'm not sure what his treatment plan is to handle the depression and other disorders,"
"Hayden sees a psychiatrist twice a week and has since mid-July. But nothing happens there," Syrus said.
"What do you mean?" Rachel arched a brow.
"Hayden doesn't talk to his counselor guy; I think his name is Harry Anderson," Syrus revealed. "The child services caseworker said that Hayden shut down after the first foster home he was in. Hayden goes to the psychiatry office on Wednesdays and Fridays from 4-5 pm, but he doesn't talk. He was prescribed the medication, so he wouldn't lose it again," Syrus sighed.
"Syrus! Shut up!" Alicia snapped.
"No, Alicia. I know what we were told to do, but after this…No, it needs to come out, so other people know what's going on," Syrus told her.
"Is…This the stuff you said you didn't know about?" Rylee asked.
"We know everything that happened to Hayden. Well, we know as much as what the doctors and stuff know. There's still a lot we don't, but only Hayden has that information. And because he refuses to talk; there's a lot we don't know what happened when he was in foster care," Alicia mumbled.
"I…Think it might be best that you tell us," Rachel said. "Then perhaps we can find a better way to help Hayden recover rather than medicating him. Come, sit and tell me. You don't have to worry about Hayden overhearing; he's out like a light,"
Syrus and Alicia moved into the living room, sitting down, and then afterward; the rest of the friends came to sit as well. "Spencer and Valarie Haddock were murdered in their own home on June 23rd, 2017," Syrus looked down.
"I'm aware of this. Spencer Haddock was the Chief of Archian City Police. Outstanding officer," Dustin stated.
"It happened very early in the morning; there was a break-in. Power had been cut to the house. Spencer was first to act, calling it into the station and he told his wife and son to get out and hide. Spencer was killed first, shot three times in the chest; then Valarie was killed as well, shot and stabbed. We arrived, whoever broke in had fled; then found Hayden curled up, rocking back and forth, crying in the corner," Dustin sighed with his head down. "I'm only telling you this because it was released to the public, except the mention of Hayden because he was a minor at the time," Dustin added. "We couldn't find any family listed, so after a forty-eight-hour hold on suicide watch; he was released to child services,"
"So that turns the story to us," Alicia sighed.
"Hayden went through a total of five foster families from the beginning of July to October. The first family were saints, but Hayden snapped and tried to kill himself after only a week with them," Syrus looked down. "Hayden was admitted to Archian Psychiatric for five days, and started on the anti-depressants," Syrus closed his eyes.
"How did he try to do it?" Rachel asked.
"I think the caseworker said Hayden tried to overdose," Syrus admitted. "After that; Hayden was put with another family. They were mean and abusive, four days later, he was removed and put with someone else because the caseworker noticed how terrified he looked and that he was covered in bruises,"
"Oh, my Gods! That's awful…" Katie whimpered.
"It didn't stop there," Alicia mentioned sadly. "The next family was worse; Hayden went with them at the start of August. We…Don't know what he went through with the next two places. The caseworker said this was when Hayden was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and had entirely shut down,"
"The last family was-," Syrus began, but Trayden only crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.
"Syrus, Alicia..." Trayden shook his head to them. "That's enough," he added.
"But it has to do with-," Alicia started.
"I don't care," Trayden raised his eyes, narrowing them. "Not another word about it. I know you know the same thing I do, but Hayden personally asked me not to say anything to anyone, and I will respect that request. He doesn't want anyone to know, and as his family, you should respect it as well,"
"I can vouch for that request," Dustin interjected.
"We don't know the full extent of anything he dealt with; there were no reports of anything specific," Syrus added.
"So Hayden's the one who has all that information, besides the guilty families he was placed with who I'm sure aren't coming forward with what was done," Rachel sighed. "The poor dear…" she frowned. "He's dealing with so much on his own; you said he wouldn't talk to his psychiatrist, right, Syrus?"
"Doesn't say a word; sits there with his legs pulled up. According to Anderson, that's how it's been since the suicide attempt in July," Alicia confirmed. "The records on his medication changes show that his dosage got increased in the mental hospital right before he was brought to us,"
"Then him scratching at his arms makes sense…" Miya looked at Rachel. "Just two hours off the medication was enough to push him back into hurting himself to deal with the pain," she said softly. "Hayden knows without the medication to keep him level; he'll flip out and border snapping again. That's why he said he couldn't do it and struggled so hard not to fall apart,"
"Syrus, one other question," Rachel looked at him seriously now.
"Yeah?" Syrus asked. Rachel slid the sleeves back on Hayden's arms.
"Was it in any of the reports that he's cut himself?" Rachel asked.
"No…None of them and my parents went through it with a fine-tooth comb," Syrus replied.
"Then these occurred since he's been with your family. They are old based on how they healed, but what concerns me is the pattern," Rachel mentioned.
"Yes…I see what you mean," Miya nodded.
"I'm confused," Katie said now.
"So he's been trying to slash his wrists?" Syrus asked.
"Not to kill himself, just as a release to the pain," Rachel clarified. "To die from cutting your wrists; you need to cut a vein along the length of your arm and just bleed out. This is not only one of the most painful way to die but long too. Those aiming to kill themselves go for the faster approach; overdosing on pills, hanging, shooting in the chest or head, jumping from a great height, poisoning themselves. I've heard of people standing in front of trains even. These marks are across the wrist because cutting can act as a temporary relief; the sudden feeling of physical pain over mental,"
"It's a distraction from whatever is bothering him, which in this case, is everything he's been through from when his parents were killed," Miya frowned. "Judging by how these have healed…It seems they are old,"
"I would say on a guess; the last time Hayden cut himself was a month or longer back," Rachel agreed with Miya.
"That puts him at the start of February, or farther back into January," Trayden grumbled a bit.
"Don't forget about Christmas or Thanksgiving…" Alicia added. "Hayden stayed downstairs and refused to come up or eat,"
"Then that timeline fits. Hayden couldn't deal with all that pain, so he resorted to something else. The medication keeps him level, but it does not cure the depression. The only way Hayden is ever going get better is if he talks about it and works with his psychiatrist to get past the things he's been through," Rachel told Syrus and Alicia sternly. "I will bring this up to your parents so that they can discuss it with Hayden's counselor. While we can't make Hayden talk about things; cutting is still self-harm, and if he's done this while medicated, then it means he can still snap and try to kill himself again if the pains becomes too much,"
"You will need to keep a stronger eye on him," Miya offered.
"We already watch him like crazy; the only way we can keep an eye on him all the time is by splitting up into shifts for 24-hour care," Syrus stated.
"I don't believe a closer watch is necessary, Miya. I do not see fresh cuts, anything within the last month or so. Hayden stopped on his own accord for whatever reason. My professional opinion…" Rachel began as her eyes slowly drifted to Trayden, who caught the look. "Is that something has come up in Hayden's life to alleviate the hurt,"
"Not another way to hurt himself, though?" Devon pushed.
"No, not at all. Some depressed people just find ways to cope that aren't what a doctor suggests. It could be drawing, music, nature, a new friend," Rachel listed off. Trayden understood; he stopped what Olivia was doing and protected Hayden. Perhaps that act was enough to show Hayden that Trayden would be there for him as Trayden told Hayden he would. Hayden cried against Trayden earlier, let Trayden hold him and offer comfort. Coupled by the fact Trayden returned Hayden's pets to him too. Hayden was starting to trust Tray, and Rachel recognized things based on what she knew and had seen so far. Trayden could see his mother was hinting subtly that Trayden might be Hayden's coping mechanism. If such were true; then Trayden didn't mind at all because he did feel something for Hayden, and if he could help Hayden deal with things, and maybe start healing, he would.
. . .
[Sunday, 3/4/2018; 10:45 am]
Hayden was out all night as Rachel said he would be. Everyone at the Raseri home spent the night because the storm did not let up until the wee hours of the morning. After the conversation about Hayden; it was clear to the friends that Hayden went through hell, and though they couldn't make him talk about what happened, maybe they could help get Hayden to trust and open up enough to talk to his psychiatrist and recover. Rachel and Miya both stressed not to bring up the cuts to Hayden, and act like they didn't know because it would make Hayden feel worse and cowardly, which is the last thing anyone wanted. Rachel also told Syrus and Alicia that if Hayden started cutting again or displaying that he would hurt or kill himself; tell their parents and if bad enough, call 911. Hayden might get admitted a third time, but at least he wouldn't be able to end his life.
The rest of the night was spent getting back to the party since Hayden was tranquilized and they were stuck there the rest of the evening. By 11:30 pm or so, everyone was quieting down and watching a movie until they fell asleep. By morning, the snow lightened considerably, and workers were out to plow roads. Dustin, Trayden, and Dex shoveled the driveway at 7 am, and then it was followed up by breakfast for everyone.
There was a knock on the door as Dustin went to answer it, finding Felicia and Silas there. "Morning,"
"We got here as fast as we could," Silas said. "Where's Hayden?"
"Couch, sleeping," Dustin informed. "Come in," he stepped aside. Felicia went right to Hayden, worried for him.
"We realized after the storm started that Hayden didn't have his medication with him. I hope nothing bad happened?" Silas prayed.
"Well, nothing Rachel couldn't handle, Silas. Hayden did lose control of his emotions, but with a team effort by Miya and my wife…They were able to tranquilize him mildly. Hayden's been out since about 8:20 pm last night," Dustin said.
"Tranquilize him?" Felicia blinked.
"Mom…Trust me, it was necessary," Syrus sighed. "It was only 2 hours without the second dose, and Hayden had a nightmare, broke down on Tray, flipped out knowing he didn't have his pills, and it was just going more downhill from there,"
"It was bad," Alicia confirmed. "Mrs. Raseri gave him something to make him sleep and calm down,"
"How much longer will he be out?" Silas wondered.
"Oh, I can wake him up whenever. I just assumed to wait until we had his pills at the ready to avoid another outburst," Rachel mentioned.
"We have them," Felicia dug them out of her purse. Rachel stood, preparing the reverse-effects injection.
"After this, I will need to speak with you in private about a matter I discovered last night," Rachel said. Felicia and Silas nodded. "Trayden, dear,"
"Yeah, mom?" Trayden asked.
"Will you lend a hand, in case Hayden freaks out again? He will be quite tired upon waking up; you handled that well last night after the nightmare," Rachel suggested. Trayden got up and moved over to be next to his mom. Everyone just watched as Rachel injected the needle into Hayden's left arm and pushed the plunger down. Fifteen seconds later, Hayden began to groan a bit as Rachel stepped back, motioning for Felicia and Silas to do the same. However, Trayden stayed right beside Hayden.
As Hayden's eyes began to open slowly, he turned his head side to side. "Hey. Look who is finally up," Trayden smiled with a light chuckle.
"Tray?" Hayden asked.
"Yeah, it's me," Trayden replied.
"What…Happened? Where am I? Why…Do I feel like I've been sleeping for days?" Hayden questioned.
"What's the last thing you remember?" Trayden asked.
"You…Reuniting me with my dogs and cat," Hayden said.
Trayden laughed a little as he helped Hayden sit up and rub his shoulder a bit. "You fell asleep, my friend, right after we had cake," Trayden informed.
"I slept that long?!" Hayden panicked.
"It's okay, no big deal. I envy you; I wish I could sleep 12+ hours," Trayden joked. "You had your second pill and just crashed; it's cool," The others were confused, why was Trayden lying to Hayden about what happened. "Everyone slept over; you're just the last one up. But, works out because your aunt and uncle have come to pick you up with Syrus and Alicia," Trayden mentioned.
"Here's your morning pill, sweetie," Felicia cut in, holding it out to him. Trayden got Hayden the water bottle from the night before as Hayden took the pill no problem. Hayden went to get up but fell back.
"Need some help?" Trayden offered. Hayden bashfully nodded to him as Trayden offered his hand and Hayden took it. Grabbing hold tightly, Trayden pulled Hayden to his feet and held him steady until he could balance. "There ya go,"
"Thanks," Hayden said softly.
"Now, I think it's time everyone goes home," Miya chuckled.
"Cloudjumper, Skullcrusher, Toothless; let's go," Hayden said. The two dogs were on either side of Hayden and Toothless jumped up and landed on Hayden's shoulder, sitting there and nuzzling his face. Hayden giggled a little. Hayden left with them to get into Felicia's van, allowing the dogs into the back while he sat there with them.
"Thank you for taking such good care of him," Silas told Dustin.
"Hey, all we did was knock him out for a bit. Trayden did most of the work," Rachel smiled.
"Well, thank you Trayden," Felicia said.
"It's what friends do, and all I'm trying to do is show Hayden that's he's as much friend to me as the rest are," Trayden stated.
"Come on, kids," Silas motioned to Syrus and Alicia. The two left with their parents as Trayden relaxed on the couch, soon the other party guests from the night before had gone too.
"You did do an amazing thing for Hayden, son," Dustin patted his shoulder.
"Everyone deserves to be happy," Trayden shrugged. "I think Hayden can get there with a little help from the right people. Maybe he needs some good friends and support system,"
"You're changing his life," Rachel mentioned.
Trayden chuckled a little, smiling. "No…" Trayden began as he put his hands in his pockets and headed for his room. "He's changing mine,"
