=Normal POV=
[Wednesday, 4/18/2018; 10:30 pm]
[Berk; Jorgenson Home]
Almost an hour later, and Hayden managed to measure everyone but Trayden's pitch ranges. There was potential from others but would need work to get past stage fright or mastering the notes.
"Alright, Tray…You're up," Syrus patted his back.
"Must I?" Trayden mumbled.
"Come on; we all had to do it," Ford huffed.
"Yeah, you took all the good stuff," Trayden rolled his eyes. "Fine…" he grumbled moving next to Hayden. "I hope you have it…" he started scrolling through the songs.
"What ya looking for?" Hayden asked.
"Something particular," Trayden said, and then he stopped on it. "That one," Hayden glanced at the screen and nodded.
"Whenever you're ready," Hayden told him. Trayden nodded for Hayden to go ahead as Hayden set it into the program and waited for it to load. "Alright, here we go," he started it.
"I saw your sky fall down today. Suddenly turn from blue to gray, until one by one the raindrops turned to tears upon your face. Wish there was something I could do, wish I could ease the pain for you, but I've never felt so helpless," Trayden started, keeping his eyes closed and hands in his pockets. Hayden's eyes, for once, seemed to be on Trayden instead of the notes being measured.
"It's like you're drowning right in front of me, and I'm reaching out, but you can't see. There's something holding onto you so tight, so I guess this is all I'll say to you tonight," there was a pause as Trayden took a breath. "If you ever need me; you know where to find me. I will be waiting, where I've always been. If you ever need me; you know where to find me. I have never left you. I'm where I've always been; right by your side. I'm right by your side,"
Hayden just listened; it was a good song, but he felt like Trayden was directing it at someone specific. Namely, Hayden himself. This was a song about a friend or lover wanting the other person to know that no matter what; they'll always be there for them.
"So if the whole wide world is on your back. If the strength you need is the strength you lack. If you're in a crowd, but all alone. If you can't stay here, but you can't go home. If you can't answer all whys because you're too tired to reach that high. Well, I want you to remember, yeah!" Hayden's eyes glanced to the screen; Trayden was hitting almost every single note perfectly.
"If you ever need me; you know where to find me. I will be waiting, where I've always been. If you ever need me; you know where to find me. I have never left you. I'm where I've always been; right by your side. I'm right by your side," Trayden's eyes opened, ignoring the others and falling on Hayden, which made Hayden tense a little, but not in a wrong way. More like it caused him to get a bit bashful.
"So if the whole wide world is on your back. If the strength you need is the strength you lack. If you're in a crowd, but all alone. If you can't stay here, but you can't go home. If you can't answer all whys because you're too tired to reach that high. Well, I want you to; I need you to remember, yeah!" Trayden's and Hayden's eyes met and locked on one another. This did not go unnoticed by the friends since Trayden was somehow smiling and Hayden's cheeks were a little pink because he had a faint blush.
"If you ever need me; you know where to find me. I will be waiting, where I've always been. If you ever need me; you know where to find me. I have never left you. I'm where I've always been; right by your side. I'm right by your side. I'm right by your side. Right by your side. I'm right by your side! Yeah! Woah…Woah. Woah…" Trayden finished as Hayden fumbled looking for the mouse to stop the program. (Song; You Know Where To Find Me by Matthew West)
"Okay…Can I ask why the hell you thought you couldn't sing?" Hayden managed.
Trayden shrugged. "I mean if it was that bad; I would have preferred silence,"
"What? Tray, no! That was…Spectacular! Simply outstanding!" Hayden smiled.
"Really?" Trayden nervously rubbed the back of his head a little.
"Yes!" Hayden and the rest of the friends replied.
"Um…Thanks, I think?" Trayden responded.
"Seriously, that was awesome, dude," Bryan nodded.
"Better than any of the males did, and probably right up there next to Hayden," Tyler agreed.
"Odin above…I might have to compete against you to keep my eleven-year title…" Hayden blinked.
"Or…You could sing with us, and we could all reap the benefits of 1st place?..." Trayden offered.
"You're not gonna give that up, are you?" Hayden mumbled.
"No chance. I'll sweeten the deal; you sing for us at the talent show…And I'll sing with you. We'll both be lead…The girls can do the backup, a few dancers, and males of instruments or lighting and effects?" Trayden suggested.
"Fine..." Hayden sighed, giving in.
"I thought you didn't like crowds?" Syrus asked.
"Well…I guess I'm don't mind so much with Hayden close by," Trayden admitted with a smile as Hayden blushed a little deeper.
"Hey Tray…Your flirting is showing," Devon grinned as he and Evan high-fived.
"Yeah? Enjoying looking at it?" Trayden countered.
"Implied dick joke," Alyssa sighed.
"Boys will be boys," Miya giggled.
"I'm gay, what do you expect? Flirting with males is what I do," Trayden informed. "And Hayden is the only other gay guy here. Thank the Gods…I'm not alone anymore," he added.
"Don't make it weird, man," Evan said.
"Come on…You're flirting with my cousin," Syrus rolled his eyes.
"So? Your best friend has an active crush on your little sister, and I've seen them making out before," Trayden revealed. Alicia's face burned red as Tyler tensed and Syrus instantly looked at the two of them.
"WHAT?!" Syrus yelled.
"N-Now…Sy…Easy…" Tyler put his hands up. "It's not what you think,"
"It's exactly what he thinks," Hailey smiled, laughing with Mindy and Alyssa.
"You leave my sister alone," Syrus said to Tyler.
"Syrus! Stop it," Alicia whined. "I like him!"
"You're too young!" Syrus argued.
"I'm 16!" Alicia glared.
"Gods, I want to hear none of this!" Syrus put his hands on his ears.
"Too bad, Syrus," Alicia crossed her arms over her chest. "I like Tyler…And we've been dating since my 16th birthday," she quickly covered her mouth. "Oops,"
Syrus's eyes widened. "What?! Ty! What the fuck, man?! Why would you go behind my back like that?"
Trayden leaned closer to Hayden. "This is why I didn't tell anyone I had a boyfriend…As you can see; it starts quite the discussion about who did this and who did that and never said anything,"
"Makes sense," Hayden nodded.
Syrus got in Tyler's face now, and Tyler pushed him back, standing up. "Yo, what's your problem?" Tyler said.
"Guys, come on," Hailey said.
"You back off my sister," Syrus warned.
"Don't get in my face like that," Tyler said back.
"Syrus, stop it!" Alicia said.
"Tyler, enough. Come on, this is stupid to fight about," Alyssa mentioned.
"You're supposed to be my best friend!" Syrus accused.
"I am, but I like Alicia a lot. I'm not gonna pick between you two! Friends don't ask each other to do that!" Tyler replied.
Suddenly, the two males were attacking one another over this situation. "Hey, hey!" Devon and Evan got up, Bryan too, trying to keep the two apart.
"Break it up," Evan ordered.
Hayden closed his eyes tightly. Of course, that should have been obvious to Trayden. Hayden was in multiple homes where there was violence, and it was usually done to him. All this was making Hayden think he was going to get hurt. Tyler hit Syrus in the cheek, and Syrus countered by getting Tyler in the face. Hayden drew his knees up, shaking a bit.
"Guys…" Ford said, noticing Hayden's reactions. Syrus and Tyler kept getting free and attacking one another again. Hayden's eyes widened, full of fear. "Guys, stop!" Ford said again louder.
Trayden saw Hayden breathing heavy like he was stuck in some flashback; there were tears in his eyes, but he didn't appear to know where he was anymore. Miya was keeping the girls out of range so they wouldn't get hurt in the scuffle. Devon, Bryan, and Evan were attempting to keep Tyler and Syrus from getting at one another.
"S-stop…I-I didn't…Do anything!" Hayden held his head, almost like trying to protect himself. Hayden's eyes closed tightly again, shaking more. "St-Stop…Hi-Hitting…M-Me…" Hayden begged.
"What the hell is going on down here?" Silas's voice boomed, causing Hayden to flinch more. Felicia, Silas, and Gabriel laid eyes on the sight of Hayden freaking out; then Syrus and Tyler fighting. Trayden decided to step in. Trayden left Hayden's side and got between Syrus and Tyler, shoving them apart and glaring.
"ENOUGH!" Trayden yelled; this caused the boys to cease and see Hayden panicking. Trayden walked back over to Hayden, easing into getting close to him. "Ssh, easy…It's alright, Hayden…See? No more fighting,"
Hayden felt Trayden's hands on his, pulling them down a bit as Hayden opened his eyes and looked forward a bit. "Hayden, we're sorry," Syrus said quickly. Hayden flinched at Syrus's fast movements towards him, and Syrus's hands were out too. Hayden scrambled off his chair and onto his bed, holding himself again. Trayden went in more and adjusted himself so that he could pull Hayden against him, knowing Hayden needed some security right now.
"Ssh…Ssh; it's okay. You're safe…I've got you, Hayden," Trayden soothed as Hayden eventually began to loosen up a little, but refuse to let go of him, whimpering a little and still shaking. Gabriel stopped Silas and Felicia from yelling and demanding what happened.
"Let Hayden calm down first. More yelling is only going to make it worse," Gabriel informed. After perhaps twenty minutes, all of Hayden's movements and sounds ceased as Trayden shifted a bit to look at Hayden's face.
"He's asleep," Trayden confirmed when he saw Gabriel's questioning face. "What the hell is wrong with you two? Seriously?" he asked Tyler and Syrus.
"What happened?" Felicia asked.
"Syrus found out that Alicia and Tyler have been dating since September last year…" Miya said now. "It seems his protectiveness of his younger sister took hold, and the two began fighting that Alicia is dating Tyler, but Tyler is also Syrus's best friend…"
"It just slowly progressed from arguing to fighting, and Hayden got afraid and scared he was going to get hurt," Ford said softly. The older adults sighed, shaking their heads.
"I expected better behavior from almost adults," Silas stated.
"Sorry, Dad," Syrus put his head down.
"Sorry, Mr. Jorgenson…" Tyler did the same.
"Now, it's nearly 11 pm, and I think it's time for everyone to prepare their sleeping spaces and bed. Perhaps put in a movie and keep it down. I believe Hayden might be out the rest of the night," Gabriel said. Trayden went to move, but Hayden's grip suddenly tightened.
"Guess I'm staying here," Trayden said.
"Why?" Alyssa asked.
"Hayden won't let me go," Trayden mentioned, trying again as Hayden continued to hold securely. "It's fine; I'm in a comfortable spot. I can stay until he lets go," he assured.
As it rolled on 11:30 pm, everyone was relaxing in their spot for the night and a movie was playing on the TV. Syrus and Tyler had apologized to one another; then hugged and gave forgiveness. Everyone was still awake as the movie end drew closer, once it was over; people would likely check their phones or chat quietly. Hayden's hand dropped about ten minutes ago, and Trayden knew he was officially asleep now. Trayden carefully moved to get Hayden down on his bed slowly and softly before leaving the room.
"Finally release ya?" Devon laughed a little.
Trayden nodded as he used the bathroom and changed into his sweatpants before setting up his spot to sleep for the night. The time continued to tick by, bringing the group to 12 am. Ford was knocked out, so was Katie. Alyssa, Miya, and Rylee were falling asleep against their boyfriends, but not out entirely. Hailey was near Ford, beginning to fall asleep while holding Ford's hand still. Mindy and Syrus were chatting a little in text messages. Alicia and Tyler were holding hands and cuddling. The movie had ended at 11:45 pm, so now everyone was waiting to fall asleep officially. Around 1 am, Mindy, Miya, and Alicia were out. The rest remained awake despite multiple attempts to fall asleep.
Trayden was playing a game on his phone, paying no mind to anyone else if they were asleep or now. His attention was drawn away from the level when he heard movement from Hayden's room. Trayden listened carefully, but it seemed to stop, and he turned back to his screen.
"T-Tray?" Hayden asked. Trayden lifted his head more. "You still up?"
"Yeah, I am. You alright?" Trayden sat up more, using his phone as a light to show Hayden where he was.
"Ca-Can't sleep," Hayden admitted. "But didn't want to wake anyone,"
"Well, I'm up. I think the rest are out, want me to sit up with you for a little bit? We can chat like when you were sick at the start of April?" Trayden offered.
"Sounds nice. B-But I don't want to keep you awake," Hayden replied.
"I don't mind," Trayden chuckled a little as he got up and slid into Hayden's room to see him sitting on his bed quietly, knees up still. "I'm not that tired anyway,"
"C-Can you sh-shut the curtain?" Hayden asked.
"Sure," Trayden closed it and then sat on Hayden's bed, crossing his legs. "So, what's up?" he smiled. Hayden shrugged a bit. "Enjoying your first sleepover?"
"It's…Had its ups and downs, but yeah; it was alright until the fight happened…" Hayden admitted.
"Oh, don't worry. I stopped that as soon as your panic attack started," Trayden assured.
"Thanks, for stopping it…A-And holding me," Hayden said in a quiet voice.
"Hey, anytime, anywhere, anything remember?" Trayden chuckled.
"It doesn't…Weird you out?" Hayden asked.
"No…Why would it?" Trayden asked. "Does it weird you out?"
"No…I don't know…I feel like I'm latching on to you because you saved me from Olivia and just thought maybe you'd think it's clingy or whatever that I break down against you," Hayden confessed.
"Hayden, I don't mind. You do it because you feel safe with me since I told you that I was here for you, and you would be safe as long as you're with me. You've opened up and let me in on some of the things in your life. You told me about Olivia when you wouldn't go to anyone else. You told me about you being gay long before the others knew. You've let me comfort you in your attacks or when you get upset. I've proven to you that you can trust me, Hayden. Tell me, in your opinion; do you feel safe and trust me?"
"Yes…You always jump in, willing to help me get through things. You take a more…Active role in my life as a friend, getting me to talk about things I like. I guess I feel secure ever since you saved me from Olivia. You just kind'a give off a caring, comforting sense I guess and when I get scared or nervous…And you're close; I cling to that," Hayden said softly.
"Well, like I said. I don't mind. I told you I was here for you, Hayden. Any time you need me. And personally, with all you've been through; I think you have the right to be a little clingy. So if you feel better with me around; then cling freely," Trayden smiled, and then Hayden did a little bit too. "Hey, come on; you won't feel like this forever, Hayden. And just like my song earlier…If you ever need me, you know where to find me several of ways," he added.
"Thanks, Trayden," Hayden replied. "So, what do you wanna talk about now?"
"I did want to ask about one thing," Trayden began seriously. "You…Don't have to tell me, but…Who is the guy that you liked last year?"
Hayden looked down a little bit; then sighed. "You're gonna get mad…" he mumbled.
"You said before that it was someone I know, tell me; it's okay," Trayden urged. "I promise not to get mad,"
"Olivia's little brother…" Hayden looked down as Trayden remained calm. "Bradley or as he prefers, Brad Holgerson. I never knew much his family. I knew sister, mom, and dad…Brad and I stopped talking after the rejection…But then I ended up at his house for foster care from August to October 2017," Hayden closed his eyes.
"I can't imagine that was easy for you," Trayden said. Hayden shook his head, keeping it down.
"No…No, it wasn't," Hayden admitted. "He acted as he had never met me, that I was some enemy who wronged him in life," Hayden continued sadly.
"That's awful, Hayden. I'm sorry; you didn't deserve that. If he ever cared at all; he should have been there for you," Trayden put his hand on Hayden's shoulder. Hayden sniffled a bit, wiping his eyes. "I know how it feels to be hurt by someone you liked," he sympathized. "Especially someone you gave yourself fully to," Trayden sighed.
"I-I had s-sex with him when I was 16…" Hayden confessed, a little ashamed. "A little after accepting I was gay at 15…Brad, and I would experiment with foreplay and stuff…Him…just trying to help me get used to how things would be between two men, you know?" Trayden nodded. "After a year…He convinced me to have sex with him, to go all the way so I'd know what that was like…It wasn't awful after I got used to it…And from that moment to right before I told my parents about being gay, Brad and I were just sort of friends with benefits. He would come over after school since my parents weren't home until about 6 pm…So we'd have from like 2:30 to 6 pm by ourselves…We'd do stuff that couples did; only we weren't together…"
"Yeah, I understand that," Trayden replied. "What else happened?"
Hayden took a breath. "In December 2016…After we'd finished having sex…He told me he loved me, and…I said it back because I did return his feelings. Brad said we'd make things official once I came out to my parents. I did that at the start of February 2017…And then I went to tell Bradley…And he said his feelings changed. I-I was crushed…I don't even think I stayed in school that day…I called Gabriel to take me home, acting sick," Hayden explained.
"I can see why you'd want to leave, all that time…Him saying he'd wait and promising you things he never intended to see through. It's heartless; trust me, I know that pain…" Trayden said in a soft voice. "But…What happened with Bradley in foster care, Hayden?"
"Well, when I arrived; he acted like he didn't know me. Olivia started after the first week there, and then…When she was working during the day, and only Brad and I were at the house; he tried to apologize, and I wouldn't accept it. I told him he hurt me, and didn't want anything more to do with him. Just serve my time in foster care until I was 18, then I'd get kicked to be on my own any way…" Hayden shook a bit.
"He hurt you, you have the right to be upset," Trayden informed. Hayden just laid there, yawning a bit and calming down. "Did he do anything to you?" Hayden never answered as Trayden peered down; Hayden had fallen asleep again.
Trayden sighed. This would be a discussion for another day in the very near future, but for now; it seemed Hayden was willing to open up to him about these bad situations he'd been in. And it appeared Hayden was able to seek comfort in Trayden, which was fine by Trayden; he was glad to help. After all, Trayden did like Hayden a lot and wanted to be someone who Hayden could go to feel safe and soothed, be able to lighten up and have fun too. By 2 am, Trayden went to get back to his spot, but Hayden grabbed his shirt tightly.
"…Stay…" Hayden asked.
"What?" Trayden wondered, surprised.
"S-Stay…Wi-Will you stay with me…Pl-Please?" Hayden inquired. Trayden smiled a bit.
"Of course. Rest now," Trayden adjusted a little, so it would be more comfortable for them to stay in bed all night. Hayden snuggled up against Trayden and nodded off to sleep again. However, the last thing Trayden saw as he too drifted off was a content smile on Hayden's lips. And somehow, that was more than enough for Trayden to know that he had done a good thing in letting Hayden talk and sleep against him.
