"What are you doing here?" Riff asked, feeling himself straighten slightly as he faced the Shark leader dead on. He felt his heart start to race. Not because he was scared of Bernardo-hell, even if he was he wouldn't admit it even to himself-but mainly because it was the first time he saw him since the rumble. Plus, Riff had to admit, getting stabbed does something to a guy. Especially when the guy that stabbed you suddenly appeared in front of you.
"I heard you were out of the hospital." Bernardo shrugged. "I just wanted to see if you were okay." He sounded nervous. Like he was unsure what he really had come here for.
"Do I look okay?" Riff asked, sharply. It wasn't that he was mad. If anything he felt ashamed to be seen this way. He hadn't really thought too much about his first interaction with Bernardo. He just never thought it would happen like this. With him still in this goddamn chair.
"No…" Bernardo said softly, his eyes filled with sorrow. "You don't." He backed up slightly, biting his lip, looking uncomfortable.
Then the two of them fell into an uncomfortable silence.
Shockingly, Riff didn't feel the level of hatred he normally did when he was around the other gang leader. Instead, he felt an unexpected wave of sympathy.
Anybodys was right….Tony had done a number on Bernardo's face.
Despite how much Riff always despised Bernardo, he never would have denied the guy being anything less than handsome.
Or at least he had been.
Not so much now.
Riff couldn't help but wince slightly at how Bernardo looked now.
His nose, which had always been perfectly straight, was now crooked and bent.
He had a long scar that ran from his left cheek up into his temple where Tony must have split open his face.
There was also something off with the symmetry of Bernardo's eyes, but Riff couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.
"I know..." Bernardo said, clearly aware Riff had been staring at him, "It is not a pretty sight."
"Does it hurt?" Riff asked not sure why the hell was he even trying to make conversation in the first place.
"It did." Bernardo shrugged, "It's pretty much healed up now."
"I'm sorry." Riff said, the words rolling out of his mouth. He shocked himself with not only that he said it, but that he meant it.
"I deserved it." Bernardo's eyes locked on the floor.
"Look…" Riff was about to say that he knew Bernardo hadn't meant to seriously hurt him when he heard Tony bounding back up the stairs.
"Sorry, Riff " Tony said, clearly not realizing they weren't alone, "I knocked over a damn jar of peppers and it broke all over the–'' He paused, his eyes widening and then narrowing when he saw Bernardo.
"Get the hell outta here." Tony snapped bulldozing towards Bernardo, shoving him hard, making him stumble backward
"Tony!" Riff reached out, grabbing him by the arm. "DON'T!"
Tony paused, looking back at Riff. Slowly, his fists unclenched and he turned away swiping his hand over his mouth.
"You better go, Bernardo." Riff said, moving slightly towards him.
Bernardo locked eyes with Riff before nodding. Then, he slowly turned and headed out the door.
There was something in that look that pulled at Riff. He couldn't explain what way or what direction, but pulled nevertheless. He also never felt whatever this feeling was before. It was almost like he went away from where he was. Away from Doc's…away from Tony. Even away from himself for a second.
"What the hell was he doing here?" Tony asked, turning on Riff, slamming his hands over the bars of his chair.
"Jesus, settle down." Riff said, trying to move away, but Tony held on tightly.
"He doesn't need to be anywhere near here." Tony said, his voice dangerous, unlike Riff had ever heard him sound. At least not towards him. "We don't need no more trouble."
"He said he was comin to see if I was okay. Riff shrugged like it was nothing even though he knew it was something.
"He put you in this chair!" Tony finally let go, shoving Riff backwards slightly before turning away from him. "Jesus, Riff."
Riff for his part just sat there, for once really not sure how to react to Tony's outburst.
"You know." Tony turned back around, "I stopped seeing Maria cuz of all this stuff."
"Who asked ya to?" Riff was pissed, There was no way Tony was going to blame him for yet another failed relationship. Tony always fell in love too fast, too easily and it always burned out just as fast and just as easily. "I sure in hell never did. Don't blame me that it didn't work out."
"I couldn't look at her without seeing Bernardo stabbing you." Tony snapped, "It was your fault I was even at the rumble in the first place. I told you someone was going to get hurt. You guys were all playing with fire. I told you to call it off."
"You know it don't work like that!" Riff snapped, "I'd been marked lousy. I wasn't gonna let the Jets lose face. Besides, you did show up. Trying to act like a fucking saint."
"I was trying to make peace with the guy."
"You were embarrassing yourself with all that shit." Riff snapped, "You were making a fool outta us and outta yourself."
"And so were you." Tony raged, "Yapping and yapping away. Running your goddamn mouth. How many times have I told you just to shut up! Besides, I was about to walk away. You're the one who came in hot and punched Bernardo in the face. And let's be honest, Riff; You wouldn't have stood a chance against that guy."
"You saying I can't fight?" Riff heard his voice catch slightly. He knew that he wouldn't have won against Bernardo-he knew it that night just like he'd always known it-but hearing Tony say it fucking hurt.
"I'm saying Bernardo would have won the fight." Tony folded his arms, "I ain't saying you wouldn't have been able to hold your own for a while, but yeah, you woulda lost. I kept trying to tell you you were outta control, but you wouldn't listen to me. Hell, you brought a gun that night."
"I told you I wouldn't have even needed the gun if you would have just been with us in the first place." Riff said defensively. He could tell by this time his cheeks and ears were red and hot.
He and Tony hardly ever fought. Well, except for recently…but when they did, it was always bad. Riff hated fighting with Tony more than anything.
"That ain't even fair to put that on me." Tony's voice grew, "You've made me feel guilty ever since I got home. I kept telling you I didn't want to be a part of it, that I was done with the Jets. But you wouldn't listen. You never fucking listen. You just kept whining and crying how you needed me."
"Fuck you, Tony." Riff snapped, started to turn away, to wheel himself into his room. He could feel his eyes growing hot as he did his best not to allow the tears that were burning his eyes to spill over.
"You know what." Tony called out, "Forget Bernardo. You put yourself in that damn chair. You and your stupid stuborn pride."
"Tony!" Valentina's voice spoke out sharply, "That's enough!" Both Tony and Riff turned to see her standing in the doorway. "You need to take a walk. Now!"
Tony paused, seemingly like he wanted to argue but then thought better of it by the way Valentina was looking at him. She was glaring at him, frowning, with her eyes narrowed. There was an obvious suggestion not to argue with her. Tony glanced at Riff before he ran out the door.
Riff watched him go, feeling his eyes burning with the unspilled tears. He looked over at Valentina who was watching him with her eyes wide, now full of sympathy. Not having a smart remark, he turned and wheeled himself into his room, shutting the door behind him.
When the door was shut, he let his tears fall.
Tony had been right. He'd been right about everything he said.
Riff knew all of it. He knew all of it without Tony saying it.
Didn't mean though that it didn't sting and it didn't burn.
And it didn't mean that Riff was gonna change his ways.
If anything he was going to plow ahead with more vengeance.
He didn't hate Bernardo anymore. It didn't mean that he liked him-hell, he could never like a fucking spic-but his problem wasn't about fighting over what little they had anymore. His problem now was fighting for what was already gone. In his haste to be something, Riff had become nothing. He'd become everything his pops predicted he would be.
Mistake.
Useless.
Waste of life.
Piece of shit.
And how, Riff was gonna have to fight to get himself back. Get back the piece that made him something instead of nothing.
Tony walked for what felt like forever. All over. To the playground. To the docks. To the gym. In and out of vacant lots. And all back again. The more he walked the worse he felt.
He hated fighting with Riff. He hated it more than anything. Granted it didn't happen often-well, except for lately-but afterwards he always felt like something heavy was weighing him down.
He felt awful for the things he'd said.
It really wasn't fair that he'd blamed him for Maria. Where he was upset he'd broken up with her, Riff had been right. Tony had made that choice on his own. Riff would never ask him to do that. Despite her connection to Bernardo or the Sharks. He knew Riff ultimately wanted him to be happy. Even though he was sometimes too stubborn, too caught up in the world around him, to know what that meant.
He felt completely terrible for blaming Riff for getting stabbed. Yeah, Riff had partly instigated what happened….and that he'd kept running his mouth-that's just the way Riff was and always had been-but Tony blamed no one but Bernardo for his getting hurt. The fact that he even put that out into the universe that it had been Riff's fault was enough to make him want to scream until he couldn't scream anymore.
Seeing Bernardo again just triggered everything. The simpleness of seeing the guy, with his bust up face-the face he destroyed and no regrets about doing so-made him rage inside.
He realized he was no different than the guy he was before he went upstate.
Unlike with that kid from the Kings, Tony still felt no remorse.
And Tony knew that had to be more dangerous.
When he got home, Valentina was in the store. She looked up at him briefly, before turning back to what she'd been doing.
"Riff here?" Tony asked, clearing his throat.
"In his room." Valentina said, not looking up. it was clear she was still angry.
Tony nodded, heading towards Riff's room. He knocked on the door, leaning against it to hear any sound of movement.
"Riff." He called, "It's me. Can I come in?"
He heard Riff mumble something that was unclear. He figured that was as good as he was going to get right now so he let himself in.
Riff was laying on his bed, starting up at the ceiling.
"Hey, man." Tony said, sliding into the room, shutting the door behind him. "Can we talk?"
"I got nothing to say to you right now." Riff glanced at him.
"Come on, Riff." Tony sighed, sinking down on his bed, "I wasn't thinking. I said a lot of shit I didn't mean. I'm sorry."
"Leave me alone." Riff said, tossing his arm over his face, "I don't wanna talk to you right now, and you can't make me."
Tony paused, not sure what to say. Riff had every right to not want to speak to him right now.
Then, he remembered what used to work when they were little and figured he might as well give it a shot.
"Bet I can make you laugh though." Tony said tauntingly. He figured if Riff was going to act like a little kid, he'd treat him like one. Plus, he didn't really have any other ideas of how to break through the ice Riff was tossing at him. So, he reached out and poked Riff in the side making him jump. He then poked him again, getting the same reaction.
"I ain't ticklish no more." Riff said, crossing his arms, clearly protecting himself and trying to hide his obvious nervousness. "So that ain't gonna work on me."
"You sure?" Tony grinned, "Cuz you definitely seem to be when I do this." He lightly drummed his fingers on Riff's stomach. Sure enough Riff started squirming and trying to catch Tony's hand.
"Quit it. " Riff said, sounding irritated. Tony could tell by the way he was persistently biting his lip, he was getting to him.
"Maybe if you say you ain't mad at me anymore I'll stop." Tony sang in a singsong voice, running his fingers on Riff's collarbone. An area he knew wasn't devastatingly sensitive but sensitive just the same.
"Don't!" Riff said, bringing up his hands to swipe at Tony again, falling right into Tony's trap.
"Then say you ain't mad." Tony caught Riff by his wrists holding his arms away from his body with one hand.
"You're beating up a crippled person, '' Riff said hastily, sounding a bit panicked, '"You're a bastard."
"Can't say I didn't try to give you an out." Tony grinned at his best friend before going in for the big finale. He ran his fingers up and down and in between Riff's ribs, knowing that was the spot that drove Riff crazy.
Just like he did when they were younger, Riff immediately started laughing. Hard, uncontrollable laughing. Tony knew that Riff could only take a minute or two of this assault before he'd give in.
Sure enough, Tony was right.
"Okay! Okay!" Riff choked out, his eyes shut tight, tears starting to roll down his cheeks, he was laughing so hard. "I forgive you!"
"You positive?" Tony asked, easing up on Riff a little bit, moving to his stomach, but not completely stopping.
"Yes!" Riff gasped, finally able to grab onto Tony, holding his wrists tightly, "Jesus! Just stop!"
"Okay then. " Tony grinned, gently patting Riff on the cheek. "You made that much harder than it needed to be."
"Fuck you. " Riff wiped the tears out of his eyes, "You weren't playing fair."
"Seriously though, I am sorry." Tony ran his hands through his hair then over the back of his neck, "Look, I don't blame you for Maria. I never should have said that. I'm just a bit heartbroken is all."
"You're a stupid romantic." Riff said, giving him a grin, "Face it buddy boy, you always have been."
"I know." Tony shook his head, "But it was my choice not to see her…I mean, it was just too much. With Bernardo and you and everything."
"Speaking of Bernardo, Riff pulled himself up slightly, resting on his elbows. "You really did a number on the guy's face."
"I know." Tony reached out and adjusted Riff's pillows so he could sit up better. "I just lost it man. When he stabbed you…everything just fucking went red. Like it used to."
"I'm sorry I yap so much." Riff cleared his throat, "I never should have pushed you to come to that rumble. I knew it was wrong. I knew it but I just…I just…I didn't think I could do it on my own."
"I know." Tony sighed, "It's just all complicated, you know? Like I'm torn. Between who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I am now."
"I get it." Riff said, "You're a bit too damn complicated for me thinking so much all the time. But I get it."
"How about we stop all this sappy shit and go grab a sandwich?" Tony asked with a grin, "Italian with extra hot peppers. On me?"
"Sounds good to me." Riff grinned, then paused slightly, "By the way if you ever tell anyone I'm ticklish swear to God, I'll skin you alive."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Riff." Tony said, trying not to laugh, "Come on. Let's get outta here."
