=Normal POV=
[Sunday, 6/24/2018; 4:05 pm]
[Berk; Hospital Psychiatric Unit]
Trayden reached Berkian General Hospital as fast as he was able without breaking the speed limit or making illegal moves on the road. That wouldn't go down very well with his father, Director or Law Enforcement for the entire island. After finding a parking space and shutting the car off; he locked and alarmed it while heading into the central entrance. Trayden went right to the desk and saw a woman sitting behind a computer screen.
"Hi, do you know what floor the Psychiatric Unit is on, please?" Trayden asked.
"Are you here for yourself or visiting a patient?" the woman inquired.
"Visiting," Trayden said.
"Follow this hallway down to the intersection; then take a right. Continue down until you hit the end where you can go right or left; take a left and you'll see a sign above you for what door is the Psychiatric Ward," the woman explained.
"Thank you," Trayden nodded as he quickly moved, following the directions. Reaching the location; he opened the door and walked in, heading for the desk.
"Can I help you?" the female with the nametag, Deanna, asked. Trayden assumed this was the woman who Gabriel spoke with before getting transferred to Tiffany.
"I'm here to see Hayden Haddock? Dr. Dahl said she would let you know I was coming; I'm Trayden Raseri," Trayden informed, grabbing his wallet and showing the receptionist his license.
"Yes, I have it right here," Disa smiled. "I'll call Dr. Dahl to bring you in," she lifted the phone from the cradle and dialed a three-digit sequence. "Dr. Dahl? I have Trayden Raseri for Hayden Haddock out front," a pause before Deanna set the phone down and smiled. "She's coming now," Trayden nodded, remaining standing. Five minutes later, a woman with thick, curly blonde hair and green eyes emerged from a door on the left side of the desk.
"Trayden Raseri?" the woman, Tiffany, asked.
"That's me," Trayden replied.
"I'm Tiffany Dahl, it's a pleasure to meet you," Tiffany offered her hand as Trayden shook it. "While we walk to Hayden's room; I thought we could talk a bit. Forgive my curiosity, but it seems you are very close to Hayden and know quite a bit about things," she said while scanning her badge to let them into where the central part of the Psych Ward was.
"Hayden and I only met back in October when he started at Berk High School. I think that was…Three weeks after his release from here," Trayden stated. "Hayden didn't open up at all for a few months; it wasn't until January that I started semi-breaking through,"
"Did something occur for this to happen, and don't worry about telling me things that Hayden has asked you not to reveal if he has that is. Anything you tell me will stay between us; I want to get a better understanding of how you managed to get him to open up a bit,"
Trayden sighed as he began to explain what little Hayden had told him since the Olivia situation. Mentioning that he was the one to save Hayden from Olivia, and since then Hayden latches on and clings to the safety and comfort Trayden provided. Also, Trayden said that Hayden was the one who confirmed the clinging when he's scared, nervous, and upset. After a few moments of walking together, Trayden took a breath.
"And that's it," Trayden finished.
"I see; it makes sense why he wants you around while here. It seems he has a hard time opening up without the comfort you bring him," Tiffany nodded, understanding. "Well, he's just past this door. Perhaps, you and I can work together while he's here to start getting him the help he desperately needs to begin healing. I think it would help him to talk about everything, but even in past times that Hayden has been at Archian Psychiatric; he won't talk about it,"
"I offered not long ago to sit with him in his psychiatry appointments if it would help him stay semi-relaxed and be able to tell his psychiatrist what he's been through. Hayden said he'd think about it and let me know when school was out for the Summer," Trayden mentioned.
"Well, as I said, perhaps you can talk to him today and convince him to work with us. We're all shooting for the same goal here," Tiffany reminded.
"I'll always be willing to help Hayden, but I did promise that I'd never force him either…" Trayden stated.
"I understand," Tiffany motioned her hand for Trayden to enter the room. "Go on. The doors aren't locked, patients are free to leave their rooms, do activities, and what not," she smiled. Trayden didn't waste another moment; he turned the handle and walked in to see Hayden sitting on his bed. Hayden had his knees pulled up, arms locked around, and head down.
"Hayden?" Trayden said gently. Instantly, Hayden's head lifted as he laid his green, teary eyes on Trayden's form standing a little into the room.
"Tr-Tray?" Hayden asked.
"It's me; I'm here…As promised," Trayden nodded. Hayden released himself and scrambled off the bed, slipping a little and nearly falling. Trayden shifted in and caught him quickly. "Easy, easy…It's alright," he soothed. Hayden let the tears fall freely as he buried his face in Trayden's chest, gripping his shirt tightly. Trayden wrapped his arms around Hayden's shaking, distraught form. "Ssh…Ssh, it's okay…Everything is okay…I'm here now," he comforted.
"I'll give you two a few minutes," Tiffany said, stepping out of the room and closing the door. Hayden stayed in Trayden's arms, sobbing.
"Ssh…" Trayden continued.
. . .
[4:35 pm]
Hayden broke down against Trayden for twenty minutes. The entire time, Trayden just held him; feeling like it was all he could do and that Hayden likely needed to cry it out in the embrace of someone he felt comfort and security with. Hayden continued to cry silently, sniffling, and shaking a little, but Trayden pulled away to look down at Hayden gently.
"Alright…Ssh now; it's okay," Trayden said, using his thumbs to wipe away the wetness from Hayden's face. "Come, let's sit down for a few minutes," he offered. Hayden nodded and walked with Trayden leading him over to Hayden's bed; then the two sat down on the edge as Hayden stayed in Trayden's arms.
"Ho-How did you know I-I was h-here?" Hayden asked.
"To be honest, Gabriel came over to the house and told us," Trayden admitted.
"U-Us?" Hayden inquired.
"Everyone was over my house for one of the sleepovers…I knew that yesterday had to be hard for you, so I texted you to invite you over to join us, and maybe have some friendly faces and comfort. Perhaps even a little fun. But Gabriel came over and told us what happened after he got my text to you," Trayden confessed, not wanting to lie. "Nobody is upset or going to judge you, Hayden; we're all just worried for you,"
"I-I kn-know…" Hayden nodded. "I-I thought I could handle it…I'd been preparing for it since June started…But the closer it got; I just started losing control…A-And I couldn't stop myself…" he began to get worked up again.
"Ssh, ssh…It's okay," Trayden hugged him tighter. A few more tears slipped from Hayden's eyes, and then there was a knock as Trayden looked to the door to see it open and reveal Tiffany there.
"Are we feeling a bit better than before, Hayden?" Tiffany asked as Hayden managed a nod, and wiping his eyes again. "It's alright to want and need someone with you to talk about the hard things," she added. "Visitation and calls are very much advised; we don't want our patients feeling alone and unsupported while they take on these challenging times in life. There's nothing to be ashamed of Hayden; you hit a low point is all," she offered next.
"I've hit three now…" Hayden muttered.
"Hayden, everyone hits low points in their lives. What puts you apart is if you rise above and keep going, and you've continued to do this since last July when you first came to me at Archian Psychiatric," Tiffany informed.
"Hayden, I was told by my father that the night your parents died; you might have been killed as well. Now…I'm no psychiatrist like my mom…But I'm pretty sure that means you're supposed to be here. Yes, what happened to your parents was awful, it was tragic, sad, and very unfair…But you were spared by whatever force there that night; you lived," Trayden stated.
"Because I was hiding…I was…scared, upset, confused…And…Traumatized by the events. And it…Never stopped after that," Hayden sighed.
"But what made you hide, Hayden? If you stopped caring about life and had wanted to die…You would have left yourself wide open to let the people who broke in do it. So what made you hide despite everything you witnessed?" Trayden asked, putting his hand up to stop Tiffany from jumping in at what Trayden said.
"I-I don't know…I just…Did it. It was a weird feeling I got, to hide, and keep myself safe. Dad always told Mom and me to hide in case of break-ins, keep ourselves safe until help came. I-I guess maybe that came forward…" Hayden replied.
"But that's just it, Hayden. You saved and protected yourself as much as you've been able to since that unfortunate night. You did all that because what your dad taught you came up, and you relied on his words to protect you, keep you safe. And no, nothing you've been through since then has been good or easy. And three times now; you thought your only escape was to end your life. But…Did you die?" Trayden asked.
"No…I hid the night my parents were murdered. The first family I stayed with called 911. And Olivia's parents cut me down from hanging myself, then took me to the hospital…And this time…Gabriel stopped me. I didn't die because I was stopped…" Hayden sighed.
"Did you ever stop and think that maybe it's because nobody wants you gone?" Trayden stated, shocking Hayden a little. "The first family you stayed with; they were nice right?" Hayden nodded. "But you tried to overdose and were saved because they didn't want you to die. Olivia's parents, despite how their daughter treated you, saw you trying to hang yourself, and saved you because they didn't want you dead. And Gabriel…Hayden, he's your Godfather; he loves you. And he's told you before that he's already lost your parents, do you think he wants to lose you?"
Hayden shook his head, tears forming again. "No…" he sniffled.
"Do you think your aunt, uncle, and two cousins want to lose you?" Trayden asked. Hayden shook his head. "How about your friends? How about me? Do you think I want to lose you. Hayden…I may have known the others for as long as I have, but you seriously are my best friend. I'd be devastated to lose you after we've only just become the best of friends last October…My point is, that if you were meant to die, Hayden…You would be dead. Think about it…Five attempts on your life, one by others, and three now, by yourself…And you're still here, still alive…Some force of nature, or hell…Your parents perhaps, are looking out for you, wanting you to live. So live Hayden…Live your life, keep fighting for it like everyone else has been. You can't give up when you're down; it just means that there's nowhere left to fall and the only thing left to do is to get up and climb out,"
Hayden let the tears fall again as he threw himself into Trayden's arms, crying again. Hayden held onto Trayden tightly as Trayden just kept his arms locked in place. "Y-You're right…I-I'm sorry…" he sobbed.
"Ssh…I know. I know, sometimes we all need a firm kick in the ass to see things differently. It's alright…I've got you, and you know I'll always be around to help, Hayden. So will our friends, your family…You don't have to be scared to be alone; we won't let you be, and we won't let you fall. But you have to fight too. These things always do better when you work together," Trayden mentioned.
"I-I know…" Hayden sniffled.
"Tell me…Do you want to die, Hayden?" Trayden inquired.
"N-No…I-I just want the pain to stop…I-I don't want to feel this way anymore," Hayden admitted.
"And we can fix that, Hayden. But taking your life won't do it, alright? I don't want you to ever think that again. Remember this; there is always another way out. Staying in the dark forever, or in this case, death; is not it. You need to find the light, and never lose it. Find the thing that is keeping you here, and don't let go. If you start feeling this way; I want you to tell someone. I don't care who it is, but tell someone and let them in to help. If you feel this way, ask for help to make it stop. Alright? Promise me?" Trayden looked at him.
"I-I pr-promise," Hayden replied.
"Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, okay? There is no shame in getting help, and nothing wrong with asking for it either," Trayden informed. "You can always come to me, and you know that. I will listen, I will hold you, I will even sing for you. Whatever it takes to help you feel better, I will do it, tell me. I promise that I am here for you, to help you through this. Do you want help, Hayden? Do you want to get past everything? Say the word, and I'll be by your side through everything,"
"I do…I want help," Hayden nodded his head once.
"And we'll get you that help," Trayden assured.
"C-Can I go home if I pro-promise to do my appointments with Dr. Anderson?" Hayden asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.
"Well…Unfortunately, Hayden; you were admitted by your Godfather, and he does have power of attorney to do that without your permission if he believes you're a danger to yourself or someone else. And you know that means we keep you for a mandatory three days from when you arrived. Wednesday, if you feel you don't need to be here; we'll release you," Tiffany explained.
"Okay…" Hayden replied. "C-Can Tray stay with me until visiting hours are over?" he wondered next.
"Certainly. Why don't we go to my office to talk more? And Trayden can come too, help you stay calm, relaxed, secure while we do the evaluation and discuss a bit why you are here," Tiffany suggested. Hayden nodded to her as Trayden got up and helped Hayden do the same.
"Ca-Can I use the bathroom b-before we go?" Hayden inquired.
"Of course, Hayden…But you know the rules…" Tiffany reminded as he nodded his head. Trayden was confused but figured he'd find out whatever they were talking about. Hayden, Tiffany, and Trayden left the room and went to the bathroom that was a bit down the hallway from Hayden's room. "Am I staying?" Tiffany asked.
"Yeah, that's…Fine…" Hayden said, clearly showing that he didn't like it at all. Hayden entered the bathroom, and Tiffany shut the door a bit, but not all the way. Trayden noticed that this position of the door was almost halfway open and you could still see Hayden standing in front of the toilet doing his business. It wasn't even a back view, you could see all of Hayden's left side, and the mirror showed from his shoulders and up on the right side, face, and chest.
Trayden didn't understand at all, but he'd likely ask his mom later. Being here now was just for Hayden's sake, so he wouldn't worry about whatever rules there were. However, this was one that seemed kind'a messed up; no privacy when using the bathroom? What if Hayden was going number two? He'd been in almost full view of the doctor or anyone else walking by. After a minute, Hayden flushed and washed his hands before coming out. Trayden could tell Hayden was very embarrassed about the bathroom thing; the guy never let anyone see him, Hayden was always very conservative when it came to showers, bathroom, and changing clothes.
"Well, onward to my office?" Tiffany asked. Hayden nodded and Trayden just followed. Visiting hours ended at 8 pm, so Hayden and Trayden would get a little time together. Trayden was fine with this; he'd do anything to help Hayden, as promised.
. . .
[7:20 pm]
From 5 pm when Trayden and Hayden entered Tiffany's office, and to 6 pm dinner time; Hayden talked about what landed him in such a depressed state. It was what Trayden expected, the one-year mark of his parents being murdered had a major effect of Hayden's mental status. Hayden explained how that unfortunate night went in some detail, but nothing too graphic. Hayden talked about how he was feeling a lot better, had his depression semi-controlled, made friends, and everything since staying with the Jorgenson Family. However, when the one-year anniversary of his parents' death began to creep up; Hayden started falling deeper and farther into depression, unable to stop it just as he couldn't a year ago when everything got worse after his folks were killed.
It was not easy to talk about, and Hayden broke down a few times during the session. It involved him crying out, shaking his head side to side, his body shaking violently. However, most of this was able to be controlled and stopped with help from Trayden being so close to make Hayden feel safe, comforted, and a reminder of where he was. Through the hour, somehow, Hayden managed to survive without hitting the lowest point of wanting to kill himself to escape how much pain he felt from the situation of losing his parents. Tiffany was able to talk to Hayden about what happened, and how he might be able to deal with things better, offering advice that could help him cope.
At 6 pm, Trayden left for a few moments to grab him and Hayden something to eat for supper. The two enjoyed their meal and hung out for a little bit until 7:15 pm when Hayden confessed he was exhausted from everything all day. Trayden and one of the other staff members walked Hayden back to his room after another embarrassing stop to the bathroom. Hayden laid down in bed, and Trayden crouched next to him.
"Try to get some sleep, alright?" Trayden told him as Hayden nodded tiredly.
"Wi-Will you come back to-tomorrow?" Hayden asked.
"Of course. Once everyone leaves from my house; I'll come back to hang out with you or sit through another session. The others might want to visit too, is that okay? Maybe at least Gabriel, Syrus, Alicia, your aunt, and uncle?" Trayden inquired.
"I-I don't wa-want the others to see m-me like this…D-Do you think they'll take offense to that?" Hayden questioned.
"It doesn't matter, Hayden. It's your choice who you visit and talk with. If you don't want them to see you here, I'll tell them when I get home. I'm sure after the last big incident we had with jealousy; they'll understand," Trayden assured.
"Un-Uncle Gabe and the Jorgenson's can visit…A-And you too," Hayden informed. Trayden nodded.
"No problem," Trayden smiled a bit. "And hey…I'm proud of you for talking to Dr. Dahl today and wanting to continue getting help to recover," he added as Hayden cracked a tiny smile on his lips. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Rest up, and if you need to talk…" Trayden wrote his cell number down on the pad, which sat on the nightstand next to the phone. "You call me,"
"Patients aren't allowed to use the phones after 9 pm," the nurse said firmly.
"I already spoke with Dr. Dahl about it, and Hayden has permission," Trayden retorted.
"We do not make special-," the woman began as Tiffany stepped into the room.
"We do if the call being made is to someone who helps the patient feel better just by voice alone. Trayden is part of Hayden's treatment plan. Therefore, permission has been granted that if Hayden wakes up at any hour of the day or night, and needs to talk to Trayden or his Godfather…He is allowed to do so," Tiffany informed sternly and then she left the room once more.
"Gabriel's number is on the pad too, though I assume you already know it by heart," Trayden looked at Hayden now, who nodded.
"One more hug before you go?" Hayden yawned. Trayden leaned over and hugged Hayden tightly. "Thanks. A-And I promise we'll still talk soon about-," he started.
Trayden shook his head. "Don't worry about it right now. There is time at a later date to discuss all that; you focus on you right now. I promise I'm not going anywhere, so we can talk after you're out, feeling better, and sure of whatever it is you've been figuring out on the matter," he said.
"Thanks, Trayden…You are…" Hayden yawned again, beginning to drift off to sleep. "the best," he managed to get out as his eyes closed and he was out. Trayden chuckled a little, lightly kissing Hayden's forehead and seeing the smile appear on his lips. Trayden stood up and exited the room, heading for the exit. Once outside, he unlocked his car, texted his father he was on his way and left Berkian General Hospital to get home more than happy about how things played out and hoping it would only help Hayden get better from here on out.
