"Ja, it looks like it just came through, thank you, Herr Lange. Let me just check...ja, the entire thing is here. I really appreciate you doing this for me, especially so quickly!"
Momiji sat at his desk in their home office, his phone at his ear as he reviewed an open document on the computer in front of him. His injured hand admittedly made computer work annoying just now, but he would have put up with a lot more than annoyance to see this particular project through to the end.
He was smiling as he answered a question. "Obviously I can't say anything definite just now, but it's a possibility." He paused, then laughed. "Well, if it does, I promise I will reach out. Of course. And thanks again!"
Momiji let out a gusty sigh as he hung up the phone, then smiled again as he saved the letter in front of him.
That...should be everything.
He was beaming as he walked out to the living room, where Hans was sitting on the couch with his own laptop and a thoughtful look on his face.
"Well, congratulate me," Momiji said, and Hans looked up at him.
"So Herr Lange finally got back to you?"
"Ja, got back to me, with the recommendation written and ready to go. A rather glowing one, too," Momiji said, flopping down besides Hans as his boyfriend moved his legs off of the couch and onto the floor. And his expression was nervous, but excited as he looked over at Hans.
"I think I'm finally ready."
Two weeks had passed since the eventful day when Momiji had learned Momo's secret. Two crazy, busy, exciting, infuriating weeks where Momiji had talked almost every day with Momo and slightly less often with their father; he had always been respectful, always been polite, but remained steadfast and firm in thinking Momo should know, and trying to convince Koshiro to see it.
Koshiro had been equally steadfast and firm in thinking she shouldn't, though progressively less polite about it as the days passed by.
To be fair, Koshiro was getting a double assault. Momiji was aware that Momo hadn't changed her stance; she was regularly tackling Koshiro herself, and other than their discussions wasn't talking to him at all. Momiji had listened to Momo's sometimes frustrated, sometimes smug reports; he had listened to Koshiro's angry accusations.
And he had defended himself, and Momo, as best as he could.
'I have not told her to do anything, Papa, and she has not asked me to do anything, either. But both of us feel the same way about this, and I really think you should reconsider.'
'And I've already told you both the decision has been made, Momiji. It's time both of you accepted that and moved on, especially you. You're far too be old to be acting like such a child, I'd always thought you were more mature than this.'
No progress had been made on that front, though Momiji hadn't truly expected there to be. Not when Koshiro was so entrenched. Giving him time and hoping he'd come around was one strategy...
And so was taking the decision away from him entirely.
Very little in Momiji's life had gone the way he had once imagined. If he'd been asked, at ten, thirteen, or even seventeen what he imagined his life would look like at twenty-five, it would likely not have had him living with his boyfriend in Berlin while working at his father's company. But in spite of that...he had been happy.
He'd been happy, pursuing this course. He had been happy to pursue business; happy to work with his father; happy to dream of a different future, where he and his father could one day work together in the same building. It had always been the plan to go back to Japan, when the time was right; to work with Koshiro, to rise up within the company, and, one day, to take it over. He had been promised a position there, whenever he was ready; assuming he worked hard, then one day, that position could even be his father's.
That had been the plan.
'I've already given you my decision. And you are not to go against me on this, am I clear?'
'Are you threatening me, Papa?'
'I am reminding you that I am the head of this family, Momiji. And as the head of this family, it is my right to make decisions about my children, just like it's my right to make decisions about my home, and my business. And I repeat, you are not to tell Momo anything else. What she already knows is already too much.'
Just like that, the illusion had shattered. Calmly, coldly, his father had laid bare what Momiji should have always seen was the reality. His job came from his father...his future was tied to his father. And his father wasn't afraid to remind him of that, to ensure that Momiji respected his wishes.
He would do what Koshiro wanted...or else.
Momiji had always known his father loved him. But he had also always known his father could be downright ruthless when he needed to be. Hadn't he told Momiji that himself, back when Momiji was first considering a career in business? He needed to be able to be harsh, when the situation merited.
Koshiro Sohma had never been afraid to be harsh.
That day that everything happened, when Momiji and Hans had stood side by side in front of the bloody wall as Momiji replayed his father's voice in his head, cold, scared, and threatening...he had realized that was it.
He had spent his entire life listening and accepting...but he was done. In that moment, he realized that he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep being the good son, couldn't keep nodding his head and blindly agreeing with everything Koshiro said. He might have dreamed of moving up and one day taking over the company from his father, but no more. Not at such a cost.
And it had been terrifying, telling Hans what he was thinking. Momiji had renounced his German citizenship over three years prior, banking on the plan to eventually move back to Japan. All that they were waiting on at this point was for Hans to find a Japanese orchestra, which he'd dutifully been pursuing ever since completing his Master's. But orchestra positions were few and far between and fiercely competitive; thus far he hadn't been successful, so they had stayed on in Berlin: Hans with his current orchestra and Momiji with the Berlin branch of his father's company.
If Momiji was changing course, then there was technically no reason for him to ever go back. There were things that he would always miss about Japan, but if his father's company was out of the picture, there was nothing to stop them from staying in Germany.
And many, many reasons to stay.
It would be a process to get back his German citizenship, though, and that would be a pain. It also meant Momiji would lose his job security, and have to start over with a new company, which would also be a pain. It could mean challenges for them, especially in the short term.
But Hans had listened, and immediately agreed.
'You need to do what feels right to you, Häschen; we will manage, no matter what. But if you're asking my opinion...I would use both hands when you flip him off."
For the past two weeks, Momiji had been busy. He had updated his resume, making sure to put all of his projects and responsibilities from his two years at his father's company as well as his schooling and internships. He had reached out to a couple of his graduate professors for letters of recommendation, along with his supervisors at the three companies where he'd done internships while in university. And now, with Herr Lange's letter, he could officially start job hunting.
It was intimidating...but he was ready.
Momiji had made his announcement, but Hans still had the same serious, somewhat distracted expression on his face he'd had when Momiji first walked in. Clearly he had something else on his mind, and Momiji frowned slightly as he patted his knee.
"I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"
Hans shook his head. "Nein, it's fine. And I am happy for you, Häschen, truly. You know I think you will be snapped up at once."
Momiji smiled. "Herr Lange already asked if I'd let him know if and when I start seriously looking."
"Ja, of course he would. They loved you there, just like they loved you everywhere else and will love you regardless of where you go. But..." Hans let out a deep sigh. "I wonder if you might consider...waiting to start your search?"
"Waiting?" Momiji asked, frowning. So far they'd been in total agreement; the sooner Momiji had a new job offer, the sooner he could tell Koshiro about it and the sooner he could, hopefully, finally tell Momo the truth. He hated the idea of going behind his father's back, so he wouldn't; he would tell Koshiro exactly what he planned to do.
But not until he knew where he was going.
Speed had always been the plan, so it was surprising to hear Hans ask him to wait. Had he changed his mind about any of it? It was true that Momiji made the vast majority of their household income, but they'd never lived all that expensively and they had savings; no matter what, they should be fine.
But Hans didn't leave him wondering long. Silently, he turned his laptop screen around, and Momiji quickly read the email in front of him, murmuring to himself as he did.
"Dear Mr. Wagner, upon review of your demo tape and application, we would like to invite you to audition before our panel on Thursday, October-"
Momiji's eyes flared, and shot from the email to the header at the top to the signatures at the bottom, then back up to Hans' boyishly smiling face.
"You got an audition with the Tokyo Met? You never even told me they had opened applications, when did this all happen?"
He was equal parts amazed and proud. The Tokyo Metropolitan Orchestra was one of the most prominent in Japan; for Hans to get this far in the audition process was a major achievement, and one Hans should be deservedly proud of.
Momiji certainly was.
"This is wonderful, absolutely wonderful!" Momiji exclaimed, setting down the laptop and practically tackling Hans in excitement.
"Careful with your hand!" Hans promptly yelped, but he was beaming. "It was when you were busy with that big acquisition, back early last month; I decided to just send it in and see what happened, that if I got an audition would be soon enough to tell you. So...I applied for the Tokyo Met," he said, his blue eyes shining, "and I got an audition!"
"And you got an audition," Momiji repeated, beaming. "I'm so very, very proud of you."
Hans was still smiling, but it was a hesitant smile now. "But now...with your father..."
Momiji exhaled, then looked at him. "I guess the better question is what you think, Schatzi. If I am to work for someone besides Papa, then I can work as easily in Germany as Japan. Germany would be admittedly easier in some ways, but I can't say I wouldn't...like to be in Japan, again," he admitted, his voice slightly tender. "Even without Papa, I would be happy, there. But you...would it be worth it, for you?"
Hans was quiet for a minute, and Momiji could see he was thinking very hard. It was an admittedly difficult question, one they had begun discussing less than a year after they started dating. Hans had always said he was happy to move if he could land an orchestra position, but it had always been asking a lot from him, to leave his family, friends, and homeland and move halfway around the world. Though he spoke respectable Japanese at this point, he would still have to adapt to an entirely new culture, and an entirely new life...without the security that would have come from Momiji having a guaranteed position.
And Momiji would understand, now that that Momiji's job was likely off the table, if Hans had changed his mind.
But at last, Hans looked back at him. "I think...that I still want to try. It is a top-tier orchestra, Häschen, and to even make it this far is so much of an honor. If I were to land this seat, then I would move in a heartbeat. If nothing comes of the audition..." he hesitated, then looked at Momiji. "If nothing comes of it, then I will stop looking in Japan, and focus on Europe. But for this seat...I want to try. And I will do my best," he said, setting his jaw.
He looked so endearingly determined that Momiji couldn't help but smile. "Then you will audition," he said, "And I am sure you will do brilliantly." Momiji looked at the audition date again, his expression thoughtful.
"So you need to be in Tokyo in..."
"Two weeks, ja."
The next two weeks passed by in the blink of an eye. Hans spent virtually every minute he had practicing, and Momiji lived his life to the soundtrack of the cello. With Hans' audition hanging over them, Momiji had held off on submitting any resumes, but he passed the time doing more research, and by the time they were ready to leave he had a short list of companies to apply for in Germany...as well as Japan.
The idea of moving back to Japan at this point was equal parts terrifying and exciting. Exciting, because after six years in Germany, he rejoiced in the idea of being back in the land he loved with the man he loved at his side, introducing him to the people and places he'd always adored; terrifying, because he, and his world, had changed quite a lot in those six years.
He liked to think it was for the better, but it was still intimidating.
And in between his researching, he made phone calls. There will still regular calls with Momo, and less regularly with Koshiro, but they weren't all.
The first person Momiji had reached out to was Haru, who had been enthusiastic at the news. "So Hans has an audition here, huh? Pretty exciting, where at?"
When Momiji had told him the audition venue, Haru had been even more enthusiastic. "So what you're saying is you're gonna be staying nearby, then? Awesome, we'll have to do something while you guys are here, let me know as soon as you know your schedule. You'd be welcome to stay here, but..."
There was no need to spell it out further; as much as Momiji adored Haru and Rin, sharing their condo with their year-old twins would not make it easy for Hans to practice or be good for anyone's sanity.
He had also touched base with Yuki, who along with Machi offered to host a small get-together of their Sohma friends at their house; Hatori, who had told them to be sure to stop by any evening they were free; and Kisa and Hiro, who were busy with a new job and university respectively, but both eager to see Momiji while he was in the country.
He was sad, but not surprised, to hear that Tohru and Kyo wouldn't be able to make it to Tokyo while they were there. The five-and-a-half-hour train trip was never something to be undertaken casually, even without factoring in their toddler son Hajime, Kyo's work schedule, or the fact they were dealing with an extremely short window to finalize the plans for the house they were having built. Likewise, it simply wasn't possible for Momiji and Hans to go up to visit them, not when they were only in Japan for three days...
After a fourteen-hour flight.
"Ugh...I love you, Momiji, but why couldn't you have been from Greece?" Hans asked as the two of them disembarked after what felt like a year in the air. "Or Italy. Maybe Norway?"
"Because my name would have sounded silly there," Momiji said, smiling tiredly as they made their way along through the crowd of people.
"There are worse things than sounding silly, you know," Hans said, raising his arm to smother a yawn. "I have no idea what day it is, or time it is, not even after looking at my phone. But now," he said, looking over at Momiji, "do we want to get some food, or do we just want to get to our hotel and collapse?"
Momiji checked the time. "Collapse. But we should grab something here at the airport before we go, because I don't want to be woken up by your growling stomach."
It was almost eight in the evening, which meant for their bodies, it felt like one in the afternoon. However, they'd been in the air since eleven the previous night and intentionally avoided sleeping on the plane, so to say they were tired was...an understatement.
Still, Hans agreed with Momiji's plan, and the two of them staggered to a noodle shop.
"So what time do you have to be there tomorrow again?" Momiji asked in Japanese, looking at Hans over their soba.
"One," Hans replied, also in Japanese, with a yawn. "Then if I make it through, the second round will be sometime later that afternoon, and if I make it through that, the final round is the next day, though I don't know when just yet."
Momiji nodded, slurping his noodles. They had debated extensively when deciding when to travel; the timing was not ideal for Hans to be gone from his current orchestra position, so they'd wanted to minimize the amount of time he'd be absent while making sure he was prepared and well-rested for his audition. Ultimately they'd decided to time their flight so Hans could attend the previous day's orchestra performance, and to just stay awake for the entire overnight flight so that when they landed in Japan in the evening, they could just sleep and be more or less on local time when they woke up the next day. Hans' audition wasn't until the early afternoon, so there would be time for him to get a solid block of sleep and practice in the next day; all they had to do tonight was was make it to the hotel.
Which, given how much they were both drooping, still felt like a tall order.
But they both managed to eat their noodles and drag themselves into a taxi without falling asleep, and were soon on their way.
"So...have you changed your mind at all, about tomorrow?" Hans asked, and Momiji shook his head.
"Nein. The element of surprise is always an advantage, and I want to utilize it," Momiji said, yawning. "So...I will just take my chances. If it turns out he is not there, then he is not there and I will actually reach out to him, but I am still just planning to head straight to the office to start."
Momiji had thought long and hard about his plan to talk to Koshiro. It had been relatively straightforward, originally: get his resume and references in order, seek out and secure a new position at another company. Give his father one last chance to agree to either tell Momo himself or let Momiji do it, and if he said no...resign, and tell her himself anyway.
But when he found out they would be going to Japan, and so soon, he had sat back and thought about it, really thought about it: about Momo, his father, his future...and what he truly wanted from his life.
Once again, he had apologized profusely to Hans. "I'm afraid I must seem the most indecisive and unstable person imaginable, these days."
But Hans had smiled, and told him he trusted Momiji to do what he felt was best. "I have my job, we have our savings, you are sure to be snapped up by another company soon enough regardless...I am not afraid," he'd said. "He is your papa, and you know him the best."
That was why tomorrow, when Hans was off to his audition, Momiji was going to his father's office, unscheduled and unannounced, to sit down and talk to him face to face. He had no new job lined up, and he was aware he was taking an enormous risk by telling Koshiro his intentions without having his next step prepared. But as much as he was still angry with Koshiro, as much as he was convinced that his father was wrong, and as unsure as he still was that his father would change his mind, he had to at least try.
Koshiro Sohma was many things. He could be assured to the point of arrogance; he had never been good at taking criticism, or changing his mind. He had an unshakable faith in his own judgement, and expected and usually received unswerving obedience.
But he also was, and always had been, a loving husband. A caring father. A fair leader. A good businessman. And a man...who had always at least tried to do what he thought was right.
Momiji could give him one last chance.
