They sat and talked for a while after that. About how things were in Berlin, about Momiji's thoughts on his newly expanded division. About Koshiro's next intended visit to the office, likely at the end of the following month. A strangely companionable conversation, in the light of everything that had just happened.
Koshiro had smiled at him as they talked, and once again Momiji found himself reflecting on the strange twists that life could take. It was only fitting that a man born possessed by the Rabbit would live a life filled with sharp pivots and sudden directional changes...but eventually, even that darting, zig-zagging path would hopefully lead back to a burrow, and to peace.
"I am trusting you, Momiji," Koshiro had told him, his hands clasped so tightly that his knuckles were white. "You and Momo both. Not a word of this can get back to Mama, not even the slightest hint. I know you say you're confident, that after this much time things aren't likely to change, even if she hears something, but...I can't risk that, Momiji," he said, looking at him. "I can't ever risk that. Mama...she can never know, not any of it."
That had been hard...but Momiji had known that. He had always known that. Mama would forever be out of his reach; while it was still possible for them to have a relationship...and he was strongly confident that they would, given Koshiro's intention for Momiji to take over the company someday...it would never truly be that of a mother and son.
But that was ok. It had taken years, but he had accepted that. It was ok; he would get by. He had Hans, after all, and Papa...and Momo.
"Don't worry, Papa," he'd said, smiling. "Momo is more than enough."
There had been one thing Koshiro had done that truly stunned Momiji as he'd risen to leave.
"Momiji...do you and Hans have dinner plans, tonight?"
Momiji had told Koshiro the reason he was in Tokyo, and Koshiro had been surprised once more, then eager. It had always been their intention for Momiji to transfer to the Tokyo office, contingent on Hans, so to know that that reality was potentially within their grasp had been wonderful. He had told Momiji to let him know as soon as Hans knew his results; either way, Hans had done something to be proud of.
And at the question, Momiji shook his head. "Nein, we don't. I didn't know how long I'd be with you, or if I'd have to wait, and we had no idea how long Hans would be. Tonight everything is up in the air."
Koshiro took a breath. "Then why don't you and Hans come to the house tonight, and have dinner with us?"
Momiji had never once, in his entire life, had dinner in that house. He'd never even been inside; his parents had moved into it after Sabine's memory was wiped, Koshiro feeling it would be safer if they started completely fresh in a place with no memories of Momiji. All his life, he'd been kept out...
The invitation had literally staggered him, and he'd had to hold onto the back of his chair.
"Papa...are you sure?"
Koshiro nodded. "You say that Mama will be fine, and that you and Momo can both be trusted. I know I said I trust you, Momiji, and I truly want to believe that. But before you say anything to Momo...I want to see, for myself, that Mama will be ok," Koshiro said. "And it isn't new, having business associates over for dinner."
"Nein," Momiji said, recovering. "I suppose it is not. And that...sounds gut," he said, his eyes shining. "Just let me know when."
Koshiro had walked Momiji out of the office, stopping briefly in front of Ms. Oyama's desk on the way.
"Oyama, would you please shred this?" Koshiro asked, handing her the envelope containing Momiji's letter of resignation, and Momiji smiled as she took it.
"Of course, Mr. Sohma. Do you want me to make a copy or a record, first?" she asked, and Koshiro shook his head.
"No, just shred it. It contains errors," Koshiro said, and Ms. Oyama nodded. As they listened to the growl of the paper shredder, Momiji and Koshiro exchanged a glance, and smiled. It was a cautious smile; it would take time, figuring out their new dynamic. The balance of power that had always existed between them had shifted, likely for good. But that was ok; they had plenty of time.
Momiji wasn't going anywhere.
Momo was sitting in her last class of the day, doing her best to focus on the lesson and her teacher when the classroom loudspeaker suddenly crackled into life.
"Momo Sohma, class 2-B, please report to the faculty lounge after class. Momo Sohma, class 2-B, to the faculty lounge after class."
Momo was instantly alert and upright, aware of confused or curious looks from her friends that could only mirror her own. She had no idea why she'd be needed in the faculty lounge; there was nothing going on that she could think of, and clearly there was no emergency if it could wait until class was over.
And she still had no idea as she made her way there after class, a multitude of equally unsatisfying possibilities all bouncing around in her head.
"Hi, yes, I was told to report to the lounge?"
The admin gave her a smile. "That's right, Ms. Sohma. Your father called-"
Momo could feel her hands tightening automatically,
"-And said you were expecting a visitor. You're to go with him today," the admin continued, and Momo's expression became wary as the admin led her to the lounge door.
Her father hadn't told her about any-
"Hallo, Momo!"
"Momiji!"
Momo's squeal was loud, eager, and impossibly excited, and she was beaming as she threw herself into his arms.
"What are you doing here?" she asked over their laughter when they finally stepped apart, both of them smiling happily. "What are you doing in Japan? And why didn't you say you were coming?" she demanded, the questions all tumbling out rapidly.
Momiji was still beaming, and he laughed once more at her questions. "I will explain everything, Momo, don't worry. But first," he said, glancing around the lounge at the teachers currently present, "We should get going, ja?"
"Yes," Momo agreed, her entire face shining.
The two of them walked to a little park not too far from Momo's school, finding and sitting on a somewhat private bench.
"Now, what are you doing here, Momiji?" Momo asked once they were situated. "Don't think I'm not happy to see you, because I am," she said, beaming at him, "but why didn't you say?"
Momiji smiled. "Officially, I'm here because Hans has an audition. He's there, right now," he said, glancing once more at his phone to confirm there was nothing new from his boyfriend, "so hopefully that means everything is going well. Unofficially..." he tilted his head to one side, looking at her affectionately. "I am here to see you. And that," he continued, "is precisely why I didn't tell you."
Momo was confused now, and that confusion was obvious in her expression. "What? Why wouldn't you tell me, if you wanted to see me?"
"Because I didn't want you to feel like you had to keep secrets for me, Momo," Momiji said gently, "and I knew I needed to see Papa before I saw you."
That was right...Papa had called the school to say she had a visitor. So that meant...
"You've already seen Papa?" Momo asked, instantly anxious. Even though she'd had no idea Momiji was coming to Japan, she could only guess at what they had been talking about.
"I did," Momiji said. "I came straight from the office in fact, so I did...very recently." He took a deep breath, and Momo felt the same anxious gnawing in her guts she'd felt so very often over the past month; the gnawing that came from wondering, and hoping, and consistently being let down. She ought to know better than to get her hopes up at this point-
"He agreed, Momo."
Momiji was smiling from ear to ear, so she knew she couldn't have misheard. But she also couldn't believe it, and she stared incredulously at Momiji as she asked, "What?"
"He said ja," Momiji repeated, his smile growing and his voice getting stronger. "I convinced him, Momo; we did it, you and I! He is onboard with me telling you what happened," Momiji said, beaming. "The whole story, Momo, all of it. Every last thing, anything I can think of to tell you...you will know," he said, his voice warm and affectionate.
Momo stared at him for a moment longer, then flung herself at him once more. "Momiji, that's amazing! I was starting to think he'd never agree, how did you finally bring him around?"
Momiji was hugging her tightly as he responded, "I simply sat and talked to him, face-to-face, as an adult. I think, somewhere along the way, he'd forgotten that I was," Momiji said, smiling, "and that my feelings deserved as much respect as his."
Momo was amazed, but ecstatic. "So you're going to tell me? I finally get to know?"
"Ja, you do," Momiji replied softly, his expression a mixture of affection and wistfulness. "But not tonight."
Momo knew she should be grateful regardless, but that was still disappointing news. "Why not?"
"Because there isn't time tonight, silly Momo! You have homework, I'm sure, and school tomorrow...and you're having dinner guests tonight," he said, earning a surprised look from his sister.
"We are?" It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but still a bit of a surprise not to know ahead of time.
"Ja," Momiji said, beaming once more. "Hans, and myself."
Momo was staring again, her eyes huge and rounded, and Momiji actually burst out laughing. "You have a similar reaction to what I did, when Papa first proposed it!"
Momo was still processing. "Papa suggested it? But Papa's been so worried!"
"Ja, he has," Momiji agreed softly. "And that is part of why this is happening, Momo. Tonight...is something of a test, for all of us," he said ruefully.
"A test?" Momo asked, wary once more, and Momiji nodded.
"Papa needs to trust that Mama won't react to me, and that you can act 'normally' around Mama, regardless of what you know." Momiji sighed, then looked at her. "I promise, Momo, I am going to tell you everything. You have said you want to know, you have said you can handle it, and I believe you. I have always believed you," he said, smiling slightly. "But Papa...he is scared. And I doubt that will change anytime soon, no matter how hard he tries to fight it."
Momo swallowed hard, then nodded. "What do I need to do, Momiji?"
"You need to be yourself, Momo," Momiji said, looking at her affectionately. "To treat me the way you always have, but with the understanding that Mama can never know. Tonight, at dinner...to her, I will be Papa's business associate, and the same member of another Sohma family I've always been. And that is what I will always be, to her. What I must always be, to her," he said, his voice softening.
Momo felt her lip quiver at the tone of quiet resignation in his voice, and the look on his face. But then he smiled, looking at her. "But that's ok, Momo. I still have Papa...and now, I have you, too."
Momo's return smile was almost as dazzling as his, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. "I can do it, Momiji, I promise. And when you tell me the rest, I will keep that to myself, too. Papa has never had to worry," she said, her voice suddenly catching. "I would never do anything, ever, to hurt Mama."
"I know, Momo," Momiji said, smiling at her. "And I'm sure Papa will soon see that, too."
"Whenever you are ready," Hans said quietly, holding Momiji's hand as the two of them stood looking up at the house later that evening. "There is no need to rush."
It was a testament to Hans' support that he said that; punctuality was so engrained in his being that even the idea of being late was enough to almost cause him physical pain, and Momiji knew it. They were due to be at dinner in a matter of minutes, but had already spent nearly fifteen standing outside the house, watching, waiting...and, in Momiji's case, psyching himself up.
This is what he had wanted, more than anything else in the world. To walk into this house, to greet his family. To smile at them, laugh with them, be accepted by them.
To all be happy, together.
All his life, until now, he'd been denied. Even when the Curse had broken, he'd still been held at an arm's length, still been kept away. Still been forced to keep secrets.
But suddenly, all at once, all of that was changing. Momo knew who he was, and loved him all the more for it. Koshiro looked at him as, if not an equal, at least an adult, worthy of being listened to and considered. And in spite of his fears, in spite of his insecurities...Koshiro had been willing to trust Momiji, rather than lose him.
Finally, it was Momiji himself who'd been chosen.
He was happy, and excited, beyond anything he'd ever hoped. But he was still nervous, standing here and facing this house. He had told his father he was confident in Momo, and he was. He was confident in Hatori, and his work. He was confident in Hans, and even in himself.
But standing here, in front of this house, feeling so many things he had always wanted so tantalizingly close to his grasp...
It was intimidating.
Momiji closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. And as he did so, he felt his hand squeezed once again by that strong, firm grip, and heard that same quiet, steady voice.
"Just remember, I will be here with you, the entire time."
Yes...he would be. Hans would be there with him, the person who loved him the most. And so would Momo, and his father.
Happiness had never been guaranteed. He'd known that, and told Akito as much when they spoke after his Curse had broken. But he wasn't going to let that uncertainty stop him from searching for it, from finding it, and from seizing it.
Momiji looked over at Hans, a smile on his face and nervous excitement in his eyes. "Alright...let's go, shall we? I think they're expecting us, and we don't want to be late."
"So I know Momiji works at Koshiro's company, Hans," Sabine said as they all sat around the dinner table, "but what is it that you do?"
Hans smiled over at her, lowering his chopsticks. "I'm a musician, Mrs. Sohma, a cellist. That's actually what brings Momiji and I to Tokyo just now," he said, glancing at Momiji, who smiled as well.
"Hans is auditioning for the Tokyo Metropolitan Orchestra," Momiji explained, looking at her. "I couldn't pass up an opportunity to visit myself, so I decided to tag along!"
Sabine smiled at both of them. "Well, I can't say I blame you, Momiji...und that's so wunderbar, Hans, und so very exciting! When is your audition?"
Momiji and Hans exchanged a smile, and Hans looked back at Sabine. "I had the first two rounds today, and the final round will be tomorrow morning. I should actually know the results sometime late tomorrow afternoon," he said, his little smile the only outward sign of just how excited and nervous he was.
But Momo was excited enough for all of them. "Hans, you're at the final round? That's so wonderful!" she exclaimed, looking at them both. "Does this mean you could really be moving back to Japan, Momiji?"
"Well, the commute for Hans would be a little rough if we were still living in Berlin, don't you think?" Momiji asked with twinkling eyes, and Momo made an excited noise.
"That's so exciting, I really hope you get it!"
"Ja," Hans agreed, looking once more at Momiji, "I hope so, too. I will certainly be trying my best!"
"And his best is, as I'm sure you can guess, brilliant," Momiji said, reaching out and patting Hans' hand.
"You should be very proud of yourself, Hans," Koshiro said, looking at him. "I looked into the Tokyo Met, even getting a first-round audition is quite the achievement. We're all wishing you well."
"Thank you, Sir," Hans said politely.
"Will you be looking at the same position if you transfer to Tokyo, Momiji?" Sabine asked, and Momiji smiled.
"Well, a little bit of it will depend on what's available," he said, and Sabine nodded.
"Actually, I've encouraged Momiji to set his sights a little higher, assuming everything works out," Koshiro said, taking some more food. "As much as he's excelling at his current role, I think he'd easily be able to handle some larger responsibilities."
Sabine blinked, then smiled at Momiji. "Well, you must be a good worker, Momiji, if Koshiro has so much confidence in you!"
Momiji was smiling once more, but it wasn't at Sabine "I try to be, and thank you, Mrs. Sohma! He does, ja...and I fully intend to live up to it."
When dinner was over, it was time for them to go. Hans had more practicing to do, and they both needed to make sure to get a good night's sleep...but it was still admittedly hard to say goodbye.
"It was so nice to meet you, Hans," Sabine said, smiling at him. "I wish you all the luck at your audition tomorrow; it would be wunderbar to have you both local, und to have another German to talk with!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Sohma," Hans said, smiling. "I would be glad to benefit from your experience acclimating, if that indeed comes to pass."
"Und it was so wunderbar to see you again, Momiji," Sabine continued, smiling at him. "It's hard to believe when I look at you now what a sweet little boy you used to be, now that you are such a finely grown man, but it makes me so very happy. I know it has to be hard, not having them around to tell you so...but I am sure your parents are so very proud of you," she said with an affectionate look.
Momiji was aware of Koshiro's eyes snapping to him, and to Momo...but Momiji simply smiled. Sabine thought his parents were dead; for her, as with friends and family in Germany, it had made things simpler. It certainly did, now, even if he still felt a pang.
"Thank you, Mrs. Sohma. I very much hope they are."
"I doubt you have anything to worry about, Momiji," Koshiro said after a moment, his voice as calm and steady as ever. "Both of you are fine young men, and I'm confident all of your parents are proud of you."
From the look in his father's eyes, Momiji knew he was speaking from experience.
Momo walked Momiji and Hans to the train station after dinner; as soon as they were safely clear of the house, she tackled Hans, too.
"I'm so, so excited for you, Hans, really; it would be absolutely wonderful to have you both living here!"
Hans had staggered slightly, but smiled. "I am going to do my very best, Momo. You don't have to tell me, I promise I know how much pressure is on me for tomorrow," he said, sighing slightly.
Momo was instantly contrite. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you!"
"It's not you, Momo," Hans said, shaking his head. "It's not anyone, really, just...the situation," he said, smiling ruefully over at Momiji. "Auditions are always stressful."
"Which is why it will be nice to have it over and have that contract in your hand," Momiji said cheerfully, and Hans chuckled.
"Ja, that would certainly be nice...but first I have to get it," he said, sighing again. "And I am far from the only final candidate, it is possible it will go to someone else."
"Maybe," Momiji agreed, taking Hans' hand in his. "And if that happens, we will wait, and watch, and the next time there is an audition, you will do even better. And in the meantime..."
Reaching out, Momiji took Momo's hand, too, and squeezed it as he said, "We will simply enjoy what we have, now."
Hans and Momiji each gave Momo one last hug as they reached the station.
"Good luck, Hans," Momo said, beaming at him. "Do your best!"
"I will, Momo," Hans replied, smiling. "You have a good day at school tomorrow."
"I will!" Then Momo turned to Momiji and gave him a nervously excited look. "So...tomorrow?"
Momiji exhaled, then nodded. "I'll be waiting for you after school, in that same little park we visited today."
Momo nodded, trying not to look to eager. "And then...you'll tell me?"
"Ja," Momiji said, his voice soft. "Tomorrow, I'll tell you everything."
The train door closed behind them, and Momo was quickly out of sight. And Momiji sighed once more, this time in contentment, attracting a look and a smile from Hans.
"That felt like it went well, ja?" Hans asked, and Momiji gave him a big grin.
"Ja, it did."
'Well.' A massively colossal understatement if he'd ever heard one.
For so long, he had been so worried, and so unsure. Desperately wanting things he knew he could never have, fighting so hard to find happiness where it so often felt like there was none. He had been freed from the Curse, but no matter where he'd turned, he had seen only darkness, disappointment, and pain.
But no more.
It had taken close to eight years, since that night when he'd stood in the moonlight and cried, feeling the aching loneliness and emptiness left in the wake of the Rabbit spirit's departure. Since he'd stood in front of Akito and told her he couldn't stay. Since he'd sworn that somehow, one day, he would find his own happiness.
It hadn't been easy, any of it.
But now...
He thought about the dinner they'd just left; sitting around, talking, smiling, and laughing with his family. The mother who couldn't know him, but he would always love. The father who was far from perfect, but did his best and had always loved him. The sister who was perfect, finally knew him, and was about to know him even better...
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about telling her, but he meant what he'd told his father. He trusted in Momo, and he knew that whatever else came from her learning about the Curse, she would never turn her back on him.
She was his sister, and she would always love him, the same as he would always love her.
The same way they always had.
It wasn't a perfect family, but that was ok; he would still cherish it. He would cherish his life. He had his parents; he had his sister, who he adored. He had a job he enjoyed, a future that looked bright...
And the person he most loved right beside him, holding his hand, every step of the way.
'You'll never be happy again, never!'
'Don't tell me I can't find happiness because of the things I've lost. You're not the one who get's to decide that, I am! It could still be out there, somewhere. Sure, I'm scared and lonely now, but my happiness might be just down the road, waiting for me to catch up.'
He might not have been guaranteed his happiness, and it might have taken time to find. But he had been right: it was out there, waiting for him, all along.
