The Eighth Year Universe
Love Wins
You Orphan Child
The chapter title comes from the song:
Pioneer by The Band Perry
Hogwarts Castle
Thursday 2nd of September
There weren't many people by the banks of the Black Lake. McGonagall was here, along with several Professors, current and retired alike. Harry forced a smile at the former Professors that he hadn't seen in some time - Sprout, Flitwick and Slughorn amongst them.
They were saying goodbye to three of their own today.
Rubeus Hagrid had lived a long life. He had been in his 90s when he died. He had stayed with Olympe Maxime until she passed away two years previously, and although Harry, Hermione and Ron had often stopped in for tea to check in on him, he had never quite been the same.
It hurt to put him in the ground next to Albus Dumbledore and all the fallen heroes of the Battle of Hogwarts. But it didn't hurt as much as it did to say goodbye to two much younger members of staff.
Azriel Gibbon had taught Charms for the past decade, having had his start at the Hermione Granger School. He and his wife, Reyna, had died in the attack, as had one of his twin daughters, Blair, along with her husband and their two children. The two of his children who remained had lost so much, and Harry knew what that felt like.
And Lisa Goldstein [nee Turpin] had been too young to be taken from them. Lisa had taught Astronomy ever since Aurora Sinistra left for a job at the Hermione Granger School. She and her husband Anthony had been Harry's age; it felt impossibly unfair for them to be taken from the from so soon. Their poor daughter, Ava, had not even begun to live yet. The tragedy of it all just filled Harry with rage.
Azriel and Lisa were being buried with their family members. Still, they held a vigil as they buried Hagrid because that was how Harry felt that they ought to do things at Hogwarts.
Harry had held it together when they lit a candle and sent a lantern up into the sky for Lisa and Azriel. But when that last bit of earth was filled in over Hagrid's body, he lost it.
Hermione was by his side, just as she had been at so many funerals before this one. She took his hand wordlessly, and he swallowed a sob and nodded at her in thanks.
On his other side was Susan, who reached down and grabbed his hand too. She gave it a squeeze, and he squeezed her hand in return – a silent way of saying thank you.
They stood in a line, with Neville on Hermione's other side and Ginny on his side. The five of them clasped hands and let themselves cry. They had all cared about Hagrid, after all.
"Ron should be here," Hermione choked out.
Harry shook his head, "He isn't in a state to be here, mentally or physically."
Ginny wiped her eyes hastily, "Felicity's funeral is in a few days," she agreed.
Neville sighed and pulled Ginny into a hug, "Are you okay?"
Ginny shook her head and pulled back, "Are any of us okay? Is anything okay right now?"
"No," Neville admitted, "But it will be."
Ginny looked him in the eye, "If you truly believe that, look me in the eye and say so."
Neville looked her in the eye, but he couldn't say the words.
Ginny sighed and rubbed her eyes, "Exactly. I'm going back to Lupin House. I'm needed there."
Susan dropped Harry's hand and made her excuses to leave too.
The two women left together, and Neville glanced sidelong at Harry and Hermione. Hermione's head was resting on his shoulder now; they were still looking at the grave even though everyone else was leaving.
"I'll say my condolences to the rest of the staff," Neville said quietly, "Then I'll go home and check on the kids."
Harry's gaze shifted slightly. He caught Neville's eye and gave him a minuscule nod, but Neville knew that it meant 'okay' and 'thank you'.
He headed up to the castle with the rest of the teachers, and Hermione sniffed sadly and buried her head in Harry's chest.
"This is the end."
Harry didn't want to believe her, but he knew what she meant.
"You don't know that."
"The light will fade from the golden one," Hermione said quietly, "The prophecy, it's drawing nearer, and nothing can stop fate."
She looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Her voice was soft when she reached up and touched his cheek, "Not even you, Harry."
The entire moment reminded him of a similar one many years ago. When Harry had been walking toward his destiny, and Hermione knew she couldn't stop him, so she offered him something else instead.
"Then I'll go with you," Harry said quietly.
Hermione smiled tearfully. She shook her head, "No. You will find Lazarus and put a stop to all of this. You will fix things, make the world right again."
"Hermione," Harry began, his voice cracking, "This sounds like a goodbye."
Hermione met his eye and nodded, "That's because it is."
Harry swallowed and nodded. He pulled her into a hug.
"I think you're stronger than you know, so I'm not going to give up on you just yet," Harry said, although his voice came out weaker than he had wanted it to.
"Even if you have given up on yourself."
Blacknot Castle
When Oscar stepped into the drawing-room of the castle, he was pleased to find it relatively empty. Only his Uncle Theo was there. All of his cousins were nowhere to be seen.
Oscar half-expected a shitty 'sorry for your loss' because that was all he had heard from anyone since his father died.
But Theo looked up, and although his eyes shone sympathetically, he didn't walk on eggshells like everyone else was doing.
"Hey Oscar," He said as if he were anyone else, and this was just another day.
Oscar nodded in his direction, "Where is everyone? I've never seen this place so quiet."
Theo smiled half-heartedly, "Draco is saving the world. Hermione is at a funeral. Charlus is with Vic. Ella is doing remote learning, and Cas is trying to help but giving her a migraine. And the terrible twosome have been MIA all morning which is never a good sign."
Oscar actually smiled slightly, "Poor Ella. What's she working on?"
"Honestly, I have no idea," Theo said with a genuine smile, "She tells your Uncle Draco and me, and we can barely follow. Aunt Hermione gets the basic concept, and your Aunt Sadie nods along and has in-depth conversations with her about it. But I swear to you, Oscar, they could be speaking in tongues."
That made Oscar laugh, "More likely to be ancient Egyptian or Greek. But yeah, I get it."
Theo shook his head. He knew Oscar had studied Alchemy at Hogwarts. One of the things brought back lately was 'optional studies' at the N.E.W.T level. Among them were Ghoul Studies, which Melody Lockhart taught, Earth Magic taught by Luna Lovegood, Ancient Studies taught by Lacey Sheppard and Alchemy taught by Narcissa Greengrass.
"I'm a smart man, Oscar, but I don't get it."
Oscar would normally have made a joke about Theo not being that smart, but he didn't have it in him today, not when Theo was the first person to make him laugh in days.
"It's hard," Oscar said with a nod, "Uh, is Aunt Sadie here? I need to talk to her."
Theo nodded and flicked his head towards the door, "Yeah, she's across the way in the library."
Oscar thanked Theo, then left the room and crossed the hall. He stepped into the library, and Sadie popped her head out from behind a bookcase. The minute she saw her nephew, she abandoned the book in her hands and stepped out.
"Hey Oscar," Sadie said softly, "How are you doing?"
Oscar threw himself into a chair and sighed. For a boy who had been blasé about everything then had grown into a man who didn't let things faze him, that was out of the ordinary.
"Did you really not know?"
Sadie frowned, "About what?"
Oscar looked up at her, "Who my mother was. Did he really never tell you?"
Sadie's eyes widened, "Oh…no. He never told me. I think maybe your Grandmother was the only person he did tell."
Oscar shook his head, "Why did he keep it all to himself? Why did he bear that burden on his own?"
"I think you would know better than me," Sadie admitted with a sad smile, "It was the Gryffindor in him. It was how he always was, always looking out for the people he loved. Even before he went to Hogwarts, and you're just like him."
Oscar sighed, "Still, you're his sister, and he didn't even tell you. He didn't tell Clara. Nobody knew apart from Grandma…."
"I don't know if she did," Sadie admitted, "She did charms on you when you were a baby. I never knew if she found out who your mother was or if that was to confirm that your father was your father."
Oscar ran both of his hands through his hair, and then he pushed himself to his feet.
"I just can't deal with this. He's dead, and then he leaves me this memory which is just him pouring out his heart to me about my mother, only it doesn't give me closure because she never bloody wanted me!"
Sadie stepped forward and grasped Oscar's arm, "Maybe she didn't, but he did. He loved you, and Clara loves you as much as her biological daughters. Whoever your mother is, you have a family, Oscar."
"I know, Aunt Sadie. That's why I came here. I just needed somebody to talk to," Oscar said with a sigh, "Because I don't know what I should do. Like…should I reach out and try to talk to her because she's the only biological parent I have left, or…should I let the angry part of me win and ignore the truth and pretend she doesn't exist just like she's done for the past 27 years, with me."
Sadie bit her lip and stepped forward, "I think I have an idea of who she is, Oscar, and if I'm right, then she will have thought about this logically rather than emotionally. I'm pretty sure that she was a Ravenclaw, and they are very good at removing themselves from a situation, so they don't have to see it emotionally anymore. I don't agree with her for having abandoned you, but she was young when you were born and - "
"Dad was younger, and he didn't abandon me!" Oscar snapped.
Sadie frowned and looked at Oscar sharply, "I don't think we're talking about the same person."
Oscar frowned too, "Who do you think my mother is?"
"Penelope Clearwater," Sadie admitted.
"I don't know who that is, but no, it's not her," Oscar said. He ran his hands through his hair again, "Dad kept it a big secret so she wouldn't go to Azkaban because she was his teacher."
"His teacher?" Sadie echoed in disbelief.
"Yeah," Oscar sighed, "She was probably your teacher too, I suppose."
"Did he tell you her name?" Sadie asked, not entirely sure that she wanted to hear the answer.
Oscar nodded glumly, "Aurora Sinistra."
"Holy fucking shit," Sadie breathed, which made both of Oscar's eyebrows shoot up because he could count on one hand the number of times he'd heard his aunt curse.
"Sinistra? Really?"
Oscar nodded again, "It was at the start of his last year of school."
Sadie shook her head as she tried to process that long-held family secret.
"Well, if it comes out that she got pregnant with a student's child…." Sadie said slowly, "She would lose her license to teach."
Oscar nodded glumly once more, "Which means it could never be public knowledge."
"Still, if you need to speak to her for closure, you're within your rights to do that," Sadie assured her nephew.
"I don't think I want to," Oscar admitted, "I never had a mum until Dad met Clara, and I was okay with that. It took me a long time to warm up to Clara, but I did, and she's been nothing but good to Cassie and me. She loves Sage so much. I don't need anything else, and I don't think my birth mother deserves it."
"No, I don't think she does either," Sadie said. She reached out to pull her nephew into a hug.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?"
Oscar shook his head and pulled away from her, "Everyone got letters from Dad, and I ran out after I watched the memory he left. I need to go back and be there for the family that has been there for me for pretty much all my life."
Sadie gave him a proud smile and nodded, "You have Cassie and Sage. They'll always love you unconditionally, and you have all of us. You know that, right?"
"Of course I do," Oscar promised.
He gave his aunt a strained smile, and Sadie said, "Family isn't just about who gave birth to you, Oscar. Family is something that we make for ourselves. Just remember that."
With a final nod and the words, "I will," Oscar left the room.
Once he was gone, Sadie gripped the closest bookcase and mouthed the words, 'Aurora Sinistra' as she tried to wrap her head around that.
Blacknot Castle
Later that night
The minute that Ada and Dora had headed up for bed, Theo was onto Sadie.
"What did Oscar want to talk to you about earlier?"
"You have been acting a little strange since he came by," Hermione agreed.
Draco looked up at her over the report he was reading, "I suppose it had something to do with Sorenson?"
"I can't tell you," Sadie argued feebly.
"Uh-huh," Theo said non-committedly, "And how long do you think you can keep that up for? Do you remember how long you kept the secret about Hermione's cat being dead?"
"Less than half an hour," Draco chirped in.
"And you remember that time I told you not to tell the kids we were taking them to France for Christmas?" Hermione added.
"You told them," Theo said with a slight smirk.
"You can't keep secrets, Sadie," Draco said, throwing the report onto the sofa, "And we love that about you, but it's a fact."
Theo nodded, "It's a fact, love."
"So you might as well just tell us now and save yourself the emotional turmoil," Hermione finished.
"Aurora Sinistra is Oscar's mother," Sadie blurted out.
There was a stunned silence and then several shouts of, "What?" some with additional curse words thrown in.
"He got a teacher pregnant?" Hermione asked in disbelief.
"While he was in seventh year," Sadie nodded, looking between them and waiting for judgement of some sort on her dead brother's behalf.
Theo shook his head in disbelief, "Sinistra?"
Sadie sighed, "He kept it secret for years to protect her because she'd lose her teaching licence if the truth came out. It would be a huge scandal!"
She got to her feet and began pacing the room angrily, "And now Oscar has to bear that burden, and he didn't have the chance to talk it out with his father because Sorenson let him get to 27 years old without telling him who his bloody mother was! He had so long to tell him the truth so they could handle it together, but he just wimped out, hoping it would never come out, so he left this shitty backup plan so he didn't have to deal with it!"
She ground her teeth in frustration, "I love my brother, but what a fucking dick move!"
Theo stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder gently, "Sadie, you're going through the stages of grief, and anger is perfectly natural - "
"Don't tell me that anger is a natural form of grief, Theo!" Sadie snapped, pushing him away, "You don't know grief like this! You've never lost a family member that you actually care about!"
"So my mother doesn't count then?" Theo asked a little bitterly.
"You were too young to grieve her when she died," Hermione said softly, "But she's lashing out because she's angry and upset, Theo. You know Sadie doesn't mean what she's saying."
Sadie scoffed, "And there goes Hermione, my personal conscience! I know what I'm thinking and feeling. I don't need you to decipher it for me."
Draco got to his feet and clasped both of Sadie's shoulders in his hands, "Sadie, stop being bitter and angry at us because you're angry at your brother. It's okay to be upset that he's gone, and it's okay to disagree with the decision that he made, especially when you can't do anything to change it. All you can do is be there for Oscar because that's what Sorenson would have wanted, to know that when he was gone, his little sister – one of the most precious people in his life – was looking out for the other one – his firstborn child."
Sadie swallowed hard and nodded. Then her eyes filled with tears, and a sob escaped her throat. Draco pulled her into his arms, and for the first time since Sorenson's death, she truly broke down.
Theo caught Draco's eye and thought to him through their mind link, How did you do that?
Draco thought back, I was an Auror for fifteen years. I had to tell a lot of people that their loved ones were gone.
And that thought was genuinely heartbreaking. It made Theo realise that maybe none of them had really given him the support her needed in that decade. It made sense of all the late-night poker games he and Harry had played during the decade they had been Auror partners.
All the same, Theo nodded and mouthed a 'thank you' in Draco's direction. Then he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sadie from the other side, murmuring that she would feel better for letting it all out.
Hermione, who had never been good at coping with grief, or helping others through it, disappeared to the kitchen with the excuse that hot cocoa laced with firewhiskey would be the only thing that would help them sleep tonight.
And it wasn't really an excuse anyway. It was the truth.
St Mungo's
Friday the 3rd of September
Lilly was surprised to see Clara in the hospital working. Her husband's funeral was in two days, after all.
When Clara stepped into her room, Lilly voiced that opinion, "What the hell are you doing here? You should be on compassionate leave."
"I don't want to be on compassionate leave," Clara retorted, "I'm sick of hearing Sorenson's mother go on about funeral arrangements. It's not for him. He wouldn't have cared about a funeral. He would have just wanted everyone to get pissed and talk about the good times, which is what we'll do after Lotus bloody Cauldwell has had the funeral she thinks Sorenson would have dreamed of."
Lilly sighed and patted the bed next to her. Clara sat down, and Lilly placed her hand on top of her friends, "She's a force to be reckoned with."
"She's a fucking hurricane," Clara muttered.
Lilly glanced over at Ron, who appeared to be asleep, then she said, "You look like shit, Clara. Are you really in a state to be working?"
Clara rubbed her eyes and replied, "I've worked longer shifts on less sleep before. Honestly, Lilly, I just feel so displaced now. I can't go back to Selwyn Park because we made that place our own. Sorenson converted the attic and built the stables for the girls and…."
Lilly nodded, "Too many happy memories right now."
With a sigh, Clara nodded, "But Bones Manor isn't much better. Susan is trying to help, but she's being overbearing, and Caroline keeps chiming in with mental health titbits which is just bloody exhausting."
"I know she's just trying to help, but Susan's a Hufflepuff, and sometimes they over-help," Lilly admitted with a slight smile.
Clara snorted, "Yeah, you're telling me. I was doing okay, really, until Sorenson left us all letters. Then the girls fell apart, and I had to be strong for them, and then I fell apart. And… Oscar is reeling from the truth about his mother, and I am too. Merlin, Lilly, it's just a lot."
"That is a lot," Lilly agreed, "But I'm glad you broke down because you needed to. You couldn't hold all that pain in forever. It would have made you more bitter and twisted than you already are."
Clara laughed weakly, "I'm angry at him, Lilly."
"For dying?" Lilly asked softly.
Clara shook her head, "No, not for dying. I think…ever since the fire that burned him when they tried to bring down Lucia Cross…part of me has known it will end like this. But when he went into CPS, I fooled myself into thinking he was safe. But…"
She took a breath, "I fell in love with this obnoxious Auror who was actually sweet underneath the façade, and that was just Sorenson through and through. I know he couldn't see kids in danger and not do what he could to help them."
"So why are you angry?" Lilly asked gently.
"Because he left so much unfinished business behind him," Clara said tearfully, "But he was so organised, and it just breaks my heart. He left letters to Josie and Cora. He told Josie that he knew she had a crush on 'one of those Longbottom boys'. He told her to be the Gryffindor she was and be brave, not to let chances pass her by."
Lilly smiled slightly, "I expect that meant a lot to her."
"It did," Clara said with a weak smile, "I have no idea which of your boys it is, though."
"James, I expect," Lilly replied, "Since they're both in Gryffindor."
Clara nodded absentmindedly, "He told Cora not to feel like she was less important because she was the only Ravenclaw of his children. He said it made her all the more special because it meant she was like - " her voice caught, " – like me."
"Oh, Clara," Lilly sighed, pulling her friend into a hug.
Clara didn't sob, but her body was shaking, so Lilly knew she was crying. Lilly's movement was still pretty restricted, but she could hug her friend tightly for as long as Clara needed it, so that was exactly what Lilly did.
When she pulled back, Clara wiped her eyes and shook her head, "Sorry to dump all of this on you, Lilly."
Lilly smiled, "It's okay, Clara. I'm fine mentally. I'm just a bit fucked physically."
Clara laughed at that and wiped her eyes again, "Sorenson gave Oscar a memory, telling him who his mother is, and he told me in the letter he wrote to me. He said he knew I would have to help Oscar come to terms with it, and he's right. I shouldn't be angry at him for dumping that on me, but I am."
"And you have every right to be," Lilly assured her friend.
Clara looked hesitant, but she nodded.
"Do you know what he said to me? In that letter?"
Lilly shook her head, so Clara pulled it out of her pocket and read Sorenson's words shakily.
"Thank you for being the mother that my son never had. Thank you for loving me, despite the distance between us to begin with, despite the challenges. I'm stubborn and hard work, and I know that. I work too much, drink too much, and don't think about your feelings enough. Merlin knows I'm far from perfect, but you gave me the perfect life anyway.
I never thought I'd get this life – the house, the gardens, the girls riding around on ponies. I never thought I would have a wife who loved me as much as you do, who was willing to pretty much be pregnant for two years straight so that we could have this wonderful family.
You and Oscar and our girls, it's all I had ever wanted. When Sage came along, I felt even more blessed.
Thank you for this life, Clara. It has been the best.
All my love,
No matter how many miles separate us,
Sorenson."
Lilly had tears in her own eyes by the time Clara had stumbled through the letter.
"People keep telling me it will get better, and one day, I'll get over him," Clara said weakly, "But how do you get over someone like that?"
"You don't," Lilly said, reaching out and grabbing Clara's hand, "He will always be with you, and he will always be a part of you. You don't go on without him. You carry him with you for the rest of your life."
Clara nodded tearfully and pulled her hand out of Lilly's, "I'm on my break, I really need to get back to work, but I'll…will I see you on Sunday?"
"Of course you will," Lilly promised, "I'll break out of the hospital myself if I need to."
Clara smiled through her tears, then nodded, leaving the room without another word.
"That was beautiful, what you just said."
Lilly looked up sharply. She hadn't even realised that Ron was awake.
"Is it poetry or something?" Ron asked.
"No, it's from, The Amazing Spiderman 2, actually," Lilly replied.
Ron snorted, and a smile broke out across his face, "Seriously?"
"Seriously," Lilly replied, "But you can't tell Clara that. With great power comes great responsibility, you know?"
Ron laughed out loud at that, and Lilly smiled in response. If she could do nothing else to help those grieving their loved ones right now, at least she could make them laugh.
- TBC -
