He slammed the button with a muted thud. Stressed. His thoughts were sharpened to a point, like a blade dipping and pointing towards the house, enough to make him sweat in that hollow cold. The snow around didn't give an ounce of reprieve. Silky white made his thoughts coil back to her. Standing there and hearing it, he had to admit he didn't hate the doorbell as much as he remembered. Sure, it was broken, but its tune matched the house it was announcing entrance to. It wasn't just a Christmas song, it had its own homemade charm. A bit like the family living past the gate. It even sounded good, in an elementary-marching-band sort of way, where he admired its attempts to replicate a song outside its capabilities more than the sound itself. He knew he was digging too deep into it. It was all he had to focus on and take a shred of the edge off.
Barely any time had passed and he was going to meether. No appointments, no texts, nothing. He just got dressed and walked out the front door. All he had was a short notice that Dess wasn't going to be home.
It felt like an eternity. Passed in a split second, then he spotted a figure over the sharp ridge of the path.
He spoke first to distract himself, ‟Aren't you cold like that?"
‟I'm actually not. And, lookwho's asking… Forgot your jacket again, Kris?"
He was wearing one of his new sweaters, a dark gray one with lighter gray rhombuses over it, to match the watch on his side. She had her usual clothes on, which were as much part of her as her hair and antlers were. Though they felt like they finally fit with the snow surrounding her, like the final piece to a puzzle he didn't know unfinished.
He looked her up and down: no raccoon eyes, no bed hair, nothing out of the ordinary… He could tell she was generally languid, and he had a slight feeling she was a tiny bit plumper than he'd last seen her. No sign he was coming at a bad time. What Dess said still rang in his mind, but there was naughtthat gave away what she might be going through. He started feeling silly for even searching for tells.
‟…Are you gonna just stare?" - With a hand on her hip, and a sneer, she asked.
‟I was— taken aback by your beauty." - He didn't know why He said that, even as a post-ironic joke. But after He did, like a delayed warning shot, he could feel the embarrassment snuggle up to him like a cocoon.
‟Mhm. And you came to ask for help with homework again?"
‟…How'd you figure me out?"
‟You're coming to my housewith a school backpack… And I'm not blind." - She finished with a short gesture of her hand, like she just finished a magic trick.
‟Well, busted." - He rustled his shoulder and the school-bag hanging off it. Homework wasn't what he was there for, but hey, he could count on Noelle to study with him.
A short exasperated sigh preceded her response, ‟…Come in then. And don't slip."
Easy to say for the monster with hooves made for it.
‟Me, slip?" - He glommed to her right side.
‟Yes, you."
The snow had stopped falling momentarily into a silent walk. All he could hear was the sharp cracking of the ice beneath them both. Twigs and branches any which way were standing taut like pins and needles curling through the white of sky. It felt like the path was only him and her and he could fall and slip at any moment and shatter it.
He was wearily walking at her side. So that he could peer directly into her face… Tired, maybe a bit sleepy, almost surprising in the difference to his expectations. Until her eyelids narrowed and shining peridots stared into him. Probing him more than anything, her brow raised in mock curiosity. Thorny. He thought. More than he'd ever seen her be. She was on guard that day… Against him, he had to remind.
He still enjoyed her as she was, just like he enjoyed each morning sun a bit differently. But he knew she knew. And she probably knew he knew she knew. And now he realized that he knew that too, and all that knowledge made him almost lose his cool, then balance.
‟…Is there something on my face?" - She broke the silence.
‟—Uh, there's fur?"
An exasperated groan followed, ‟I'm glad you noticed Kris."
Her room. Noelle's room. It felt like a lifetime since he was allowed in. Light purple walls with white paneling on their underside. The whole floor was carpeted, which seemed to be in vogue in Hometown. The regal bed fit for a princess in straight view of the door. Felt like a hidden nook of the house, short and cramped. Except her room was pretty damn big, bigger than his and his brother's. He sat cross-legged at her study table, which was basically a coffee table in both size and height.
‟English first, right? I'm good to go."
She suspiciously looked at him, he thought it was about him nonchalantly sitting to her side instead of across, as would be usual for them. He wasn't close, just enough that he could've gotten the occasional knee bump. Instead, she glanced down at his notebooks.
‟You're… excited? For English?"
‟I'm not allowed to be?"
‟You hate English."
‟Well, I've changed."
The accusatory look he got wasn't flattering. He wasn't lying, it had propelled from one of his worst subjects to one he was pretty good at. Into the 'I don't actually have to study to pass' pile, next to Biology and Sports. It was even somehow fun, in its monotony, from time to time, and if nothing better was to be done. At the start of winter break, between that absolute emptiness of time and lack of things to do… he thought about reading a book from Toriel's shelf. Him. Read. Of course, he didn't, his pride as a gamer would never allow it. But he had a perverse curiosity as to what could even hide inside a book.
‟You did get a pretty good grade on your midterm…
Alright. Sorry for doubting you, Krismas."
‟Thanks, Noe-"
‟So we'll do Trigonometry instead."
‟Wait, what!? Why Trig?!"
‟Because I want to get the hard stuff out of the way when you're well rested. We'll get around to English when we take a break."
‟Y-you can't just change it like that!"
But the tortured protests were in vain, for she was already on her feet getting the textbook ready.
The fifth time he had to look up what a 'Hypotanus' was, and third he forgot where the definitions even were because their locations weren't even in the index because the book made no sense because it was made by insane people that hate him, was when he was a bit over learning. He was there for her. Not math problems. He just needed something—anything, to open her up… And well, he got it. Or, it got him, because it slipped out of his mouth and through his fingers before he disarmed it.
‟Noelle, what do you want to do after high school?"
The deer piped up from her paper like she was told she was being filmed, or she heard a bomb go off. Ears fluttering, eyes searching, and head tilting like on a swivel, before all landing their pointers on him.
‟Um, Kris? Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?!" - Something like genuine worry was building up in her face.
‟I just asked. Geez."
‟No— It's just that, I never expected you to care about that kind of thing. So it really came as a surprise— Welcome one, I mean!
Uhh, oh, your question!… Uhm, I plan on studying business management. Specializing in accounting."
‟…Huh."
‟W-What?! Is it that unexpected?"
‟…I just didn't expect you to… do that." - He didn't even know what kind of job that was for. Accountants, he assumed. In his dumb little head was only a vague expectation that Noelle would become something like a teacher… Where even was a college like that?
‟Are you going to stay here?" - Here, was referring to Hometown.
‟No Krismass, I'll be going to the town over… where Dess and Asriel are. Though it'll still take one hour by car from the university to their college, can you believe that? That city's massive!
And, the tuition's pretty high, but I think I can find someone to reimburse it, and mom'll help with the rest."
Tuition? Reimburse? Those were words he may have heard once or twice, but paid them no mind. Those are grown-up words, little Kris thought. I'll never need 'em, so shut up, he murmured in class. School wouldn't test him on them, so out the other ear they'd go… Now he felt like he had no sail nor paddle. It came as a shock. He knewNoelle wouldn't stay in Hometown. She was amazing, no way she would. In his moments of painful Clarity, he even admitted it to himself. But hearing it like that was enough to make cold sweat seep under his new-fitted sweater.
College?… First time he's seriously considered it, his mom had hammered him twice a week for the last two years, but just now he was thinking about it. How do you even get into one? Is it a test? Do you need to pay money? How much? Did his grades matter? What's the difference between college and university? Where would anything be? Where would he go? What college? What options are there? Where can he look? And on and on, until not even he knew what he was asking himself.
‟I-I wasn't serious, but are you actually alright, Kris? You're looking pale." - She came over to him, searching his face.
‟…What? I'm great. Don't worry." - He slid back a few short inches, and rested back on his hands.
Light as a feather. Dumb catch-phrase, but it caught and sedated some part of his humanbrain. He'd opened her up, so it was mission accomplished. No need to fret over anything else. Besides, he'd run away from that question for over 5 years, what's a few weeks more? The swarm of uncertainty slowly left his thoughts to their usual heedless rumblings, as he wandered his head far enough to see something.
‟…Wait, is that your computer?"
‟Hm? What about it?"
Huddled in the corner, behind where the door opened, was a yellowed case and a flimsy wooden chair. Curtly contrasting the crispness of the rest of the room. Kris wasn't surprised that Noelle had a computer, he was surprised she stillhad the same computer as when he last saw it years ago, considering it was old back then.
‟I'm surprised you still haven't changed it.
Actually, were you playing Cat Petterz?" - Noelle loved that game when she was small. Little simulator where you raise pets. She weirdly had none.
A guilty smile had shaded her face, slightly turning away from him.
‟Are those what your plans for today were?" - Now he got a better look, was there a glass of milk next to the keyboard?
‟… I-I was hoping you wouldn't see that…"
‟What, are you embarrassed about it?"
‟A bit…"
He turned his head, ‟I don't really see why you'd be ashamed of that."
‟I mean, I was just acting so grown up but, I'm still… playing little kids games in my free time.
I know it's really immature…" - It was hard to believe his ears, but she sounded like she was confessing a grave crime.
‟Huh? You? Immature? That's… totally wrong." - He grabbed the bridge of his nose while trying to make sense of what she said and how untrue and stupid it was.
‟First of all, it's the 28th of December, smack dab between Christmas and New Year's… Today is like, the least productive day of the year. It's the day you take a break from the holidays. Of course you're not doing anything.
And, so what if it's a children's game? It doesn't have an age limit on it, it's not like you can't play it anymore… I still play lots of kids games! And they're even worse than this!"
‟Noelle, you're the most mature and hard-working girl I've ever met, so, you shouldn't feel bad for taking time off.
You're incredible already, don't be so hard on yourself… Alright?"
‟…I'm glad, you think that." - And only when he looked down and saw her quietly looking down and playing with a flock of hair under her ear, with a bashful red blossoming on her face, did he realize exactly what he just said.
Two moments passed, but eventually he heard a ring as he fell away on the carpet. His heart winced and sputtered on the ground and tried to clock in. The image alone burnt into him like a drink of hot cocoa. He stood like that trying to not implode, half from cuteness, half from embarrassment at his schlocky speech. He wanted to take it all back and forget it but she liked it and that was even more surprising than that he said it.
She seemed to be past the moment, ‟…I do appreciate what you said, Kris, even if I don't agree with all of it… But that doesn't mean you can just lay on the floor like that. We have work to do."
‟Didn't I just say you should take some days off? We can just relax." - He sat up to make his case.
‟Maybe we could've if you had finished your homework already. But you didn't. So back to writing." - This was punctuated with a light hit of his notebook.
‟Can I take my legally issued break."
‟We've been talking for ten minutes, you've already taken it!
…I'll help you through it, come on, Kris?" - She looked with eyes upturned at him.
‟Alright, fine…"
As the short day wound down into a long and clear night, and the horrific academic torture he was subjected to was slowly dwindling into a numb static he trudged through, he started to see eye to eye with what he once thought was ‟Robot Noelle". He probably had the same blank, lightly focused expression on his face, writing a history essay where the only important part was the title and word count. Though there was a light pain in the time he was forced to spend. He didn't come there to study. He arrived with a mission, and every opportunity squandered made the time until the next more pained. He needed to ask her eventually. When though? That was the question he uselessly riled himself up pondering. But his contemplation was stopped by a ringtone.
‟Phone." - Was what he said to her. It was what their communication devolved to.
‟…Actually, I think that's your phone, Kris."
‟Huh?… Oh, yeah."
How pitiful, came in His mind while searching his backpack. A teenage boy who doesn't know the sound of his own ringtone. Surprisingly enough, it was Asriel.
Until he thought about it. Catti would've just texted him, and Susie hadn't once called.
‟What's up, As?"
‟Hi there, bro-bro~~!" - Through the muffled sound he could hear Asriel was somewhere outside, and mildly busy.
‟What's up? You're with Noelle?"
‟Uh, yeah, why?"
‟Well, you should really get to somewhere more alone." - There was a hurried tension in his speech, like he was trying to be hushed but couldn't.
‟Wait, why?"
‟Uhm— Pretend I said nothing! Anyway, I'm putting Dess on, good lu—"
He heard a short shuffle.
‟… Hi there, Kringle-Pringle!"
‟Uhh, hi Dess?"
‟Sooo, a little bird told me you're trying to date my sister! Now, is that right~?" - He could taste the acerbic venom coming out of her words through the signal… his throat tightened before he answered.
‟…Yeah, that's right."
‟Oh, great~! Well, in that case, I have to have a few, quick, words, with you."
‟M-Mhm?"
Then, the line went silent. A silence long enough for a long drag of a cigar and a longer sigh. He watched the stars in the night twinkle in fear. And he noticed the pen in front of him stopped writing.
‟Alright, let's get some things straight." - Her tone had dropped two octaves (or a fourth).
‟First off: I'm not dad. If I was, I'd be knocking on your door already."
‟Mhm."
‟And I'm not like Carol, so I don't really care about your Qualifications or whatever.
…I don't have a problem if Noelle wants to experiment. With boys or girls, or humans or monsters, or whoever she wants.
She's free to. I'll support her through it."
‟That's… very nice of you."
‟But.
If you want to seriously datemy darling baby sister, I'm warning you right now."
There was another pause. Kris had no idea what pace smokers went at, but that seemed rapid.
‟If youmake her sad, for any reason at all. I willfind out. And I will come to your house. And I won't be coming with a plastic bat."
‟G-got it, Dess." - He clumsily swallowed.
December Holiday was a delinquent. The type of delinquent that could jump three fences without leaving a mark on her pants. The kind that hid contraband in her school bag for months. Kind that made the hallways smell like tobacco and fir leaves. She had mellowed out in her last year. But it's not like she was suddenly a goody-two-hooves.
‟Of course, I'm saying all of this assuming she'd even go out with you… And not to knock on you, but I don't think you're her type."
‟Mh." - Most painful was that she didn't seem to say it to disparage him.
‟Just making sure you know what happens if you try anything, imp.
…Noelle's very delicate. She puts up a strong front, but she's fragile. Especiallywhen it comes to other people."
‟I-I know."
‟No you don't." - There was a great heft in how she rebuffed him.
‟So… you will treat her with care. Unless you want a flash visit."
‟…Why are you telling me this?"
‟To get my nerves out. I like speaking my mind… And one last thing, Kris."
She took another pull, right into the phone. Kris could almost smell the smoke and feel the metal railing she had her elbows on.
‟I already said I don't give two shits about you being a human. But since I know you, I have one more thing to say.
You're too much of a wimp to have ever been in a fight, and that means you don't know your own strength.
Humans are pretty brutal. You might hurt her, even if you don't mean to. I'm being serious."
‟R-Really?"
‟I just said I was serious, dipshit. Yes really. Do you know what will happen if I see you left any bruises on her, little Krissy?"
‟…What's-what's gonna happen?"
The line went still.
‟I'll break your fucking knees."
He had no response, his body just flexed up, especially legs.
‟Got that punk?"
‟Y-Yes!"
‟Well then… I'm happy we cleared that up, Kris~! Byeeeee~~" - And she shut the phone before he got another word in.
He just stood there. He might've shivered a bit. She wasn't really going to, right? Right?That was the thing with Dess, you never knew. He stood there and shared a glance with his deskmate, who was showing no signs of writing and looking similarly discombobulated.
‟You heard that?"
‟I… I heard some of it— I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I just didn't really have a choice…
Did, did she say she'll break your kneecaps? Dess always said she'll do that to any gi- to anyone that tried to put a hand on me… But I think you're the first person she's directly threatened like that."
‟Well, it's an honor to be the first." - He got a weak chuckle in response.
‟And, speaking about putting hands on things, want to go out and grab a bite sometime?" - He barely even clocked the horrible pun He said.
Instead of a response, he got a double take, Noelle's nose was twitching in confusion, and her horns almost formed question marks.
‟A-After all that!? You're asking me out?"
‟I mean, the subject came up, it's as good an opportunity as we're gonna get." - It's like He had to step over the gaping feeling in his stomach every word He squeezed out. One wrong wind and they'd all be dragged down.
‟Uhm, you know Dess could kill you, right?"
‟She only said she would if I made you sad or hurt you, and that's the last thing I'd ever do." - Even he had to admit he was in good shape, outrunning the red in his cheeks, like a heft continually trying to catch him slipping.
But over the table corner, it seems the girl there had lost to her own embarrassment, with her eyes kept away from him, one hand limply on her nape.
‟Kris, I… I still like somebody else. And they're, my first love… I won't- can't just, stop liking her like that—"
‟…Well then that makes two of us. I can't stop liking you either." - He closed the distance to punctuate himself, and intruded in her space. He felt his heart banging against its ribcage.
‟E-Even so, I can't just…" - He could see her trying to not meet his eyes. To look away.
‟Come on, just this once."
‟Kris, I'm really not into—" - He saw how hard she was blushing. Even the top of her ears were red. She never blushed around him, not like that. That was his thread, all he had to hope and ride and climb and wish on. Did she like him? Why was she so apprehensive? Why did she keep hiding her face?
‟I'm going out on a limb here, Noelle, come on." - He got close enough to where they were sharing a breath. She was supporting herself on her hands and he could see something in her eyes he didn't understand and felt her trembling against him.
‟Fine! Fine, I'll do it! … Just please, back off a second—"
He got back to his spot. She followed suit and he could see her face. She was flush and damp like she had a fever, and her eyes were cloudy and her hair was slightly ruffled. Which seemed close enough to what he was feeling, but she was looking down and biting her lip slightly. Like she'd tripped and broken something. She was frustrated. At what? At who?
He didn't feel great. He actually felt filthy… this wasn't how he envisioned that playing out. In the heat of the moment, he may have forced his foot through the door.
‟…Sorry, I got a little heated there… don't want to force you, or anything." - He grabbed his arm at the guilt spreading through it. Noelle seemed to regain herself slowly and steady her breathing.
‟…Don't worry, I'm… I'm fine. You're just, scary sometimes, Kris." - Being feared was something he relished when he was younger, but by then… not so much.
‟So, you don't wanna go?"
He heard a wistful murmur form and she said peacefully, ‟I already said I'm going… if it makes you happy, then I'll do it."
‟And what if it makes youhappy?"
‟Then it's a win-win, I guess" - Seems she had her usual smile back, though still a bit rattled, just like he still felt a bit guilty.
‟Cool, so when're you free? I'm good whenever."
‟…Let me see, actually."
She walked around the room and got a little notebook out, and started ruffling through it while mumbling to herself. He looked over to see it was a notebook, calendar, hybrid… thing. With a month on each page, and a lot of writing on each day.
‟Next Saturday is the earliest I have any free time."
‟That's… is your whole weekfilled?" - He knew Noelle was a busy little reindeer, but that was… a lot.
‟Yeah, with New Year's party, the new quarter, and school starting soon, I'm totally booked. Saturday from six is the earliest I can do… Oh, but I have to wake up at six on Sunday to help mom out so we can only stay until… eleven, let's say. Is that alright with you?"
‟Yeah, sure, definitely.
… Wait, do you only have free time on Saturday's?"
‟Usually! Well, whenever I'm not helping someone with their homework, that is!" - It was currently a Saturday, by the way. They were studying together on one just like old times.
‟Heh, sorry for that~."
‟Oh, don't be! I actually enjoy spending time teaching you like this! It's a productive way to re—"
‟I enjoy spending time with you too."
Unamused, she changed subjects, ‟…So, where are you planning to go?"
‟I dunno, haven't decided yet." - He raised his shoulders while lackadaisically ruffling through his hair.
‟You invited me without any idea of where we're going?"
‟…Would you have liked if I planned it out before asking you?"
‟…Fair—… Alright. You can text me the details later!" - And with definitive swipes of her red pen in the notebook, it was a date.
‟Roger." - It took all he had in him to be cool and collected Kris and not screamy Kris.
‟And before you get any ideas, it won't bea date, so don't expect anything. Alright?!"
‟…I never said it was a date."
‟Huh?! Bu— …Wait, you're right, you didn't.. I'm- I apologize Kris, my head's really a mess right now." - He saw how quietly angry she was at herself, and he definitely felt bad. He never said the word, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't mean it to be one, and she knew that.
‟…Don't worry, I don't mind… And hey, it can be a date if you want it to."
‟Don't push your luck."
‟Yes ma'am."
They shared an innocent laugh.
‟Alright, now back to work, Kris! How's that essay coming along?"
‟Essay!? Sorry, but I suddenly have urgent matters to attend to." - He said while slowly packing his bags, he did what he had to, homework was just a nice bonus.
‟Seriously? You know we'll only eat something and go home, right?"
‟I mean, if I find something enjoyable to do, and I'd like doing it, with you… not like we couldn't slot it in."
‟Kris! That's not what you said!"
‟Don't sweat the small stuff. We only agreed on a date and time. We'll go there… and we'll have fun." - He stood up.
‟…Fine, but don't raise your hopes up." - She got up to walk him out.
‟Sorry Nelly, way too late for that."
‟(N-Nelly?)"
‟I don't think I'll be available until then, Kris. So you'll have to finish your homework by yourself, alright?"
‟Yeah, sure. You already helped me with the hard stuff." - He was basically done, all the ones remaining he could do in class… Or just not do at all.
‟So, I'll be seeing you then, I hope."
‟Yeah, I'll be there." - Did the serene sky play a trick on him, or did he see her eyes sparkle for a moment? Almost betraying her tone.
‟Bye Noelle. Love you~." - He enjoyed the copious side-eye that line got him.
‟…Goodbye, Kris."
He turned to walk to his home, and three steps later glanced to see if she was out of ear-shot. She wasn't visible, so he took out his phone.
‟Hey, you there?… Big news!… we're going out!… no, I asked her out… invited her out… No, not as a date…Well, kind of… you're home right now?… I'll be there."
He hurried along the snowed-in street.
Catti's cramped purple room. Of course. When love was concerned, this was where all roads lead. He chuckled at the thought, she probably hadn't helped anyone like this before, unless Jockington had any secret entourages not privy to him. The dimly lit black and purple was a perfect backdrop for brainstorming. He had his back arched, sitting on the mountain of white fluffiness that was his friend, with his arms crossed and eyes into the ceiling. She didn't mind, staring into her phone.
‟What if we go to a burger place instead?"
‟…She's been watching her weight recently, bad idea." - Catti responded, in the same one tone she always spoke in, though she was speaking more than he'd ever heard her.
‟Weren't there some bistros on Home street?"
‟…A restaurant is… not good, I think."
‟…Damn it, I don't know! I barely know what's where in Hometown." - This was the part where he regrets he never learned to ride a bike.
‟You have a week to look, don't get so worked up.
…Hey, spider bakery opened up downtown last month." - She said looking at her phone light up her face.
‟Is a spider bakery a place where you eat baked spiders, or do the spiders bake your food?"
‟… Second one, I think."
‟That's just slightly less disturbing than the other option."
The night went pretty late, and Kris learned a lot about the many dining options there were in hometown. For such a small town, there were many holes in the wall.
‟…So, what are you going to do besides eat?" - She was on her stomach now, giant lime hoodie eclipsing the purple of her bed.
‟Yeah… I was thinking movie, but that's too normal. Noelle sees enough movies as-is…
I need something that has an impact, you know?"
‟Mhm."
‟…Hmm, I got an idea…" - He remembered going somewhere with his family when he was little. It wasn't something he enjoyed much, but it might work. Even if Noelle didn't like it, it could make for a fun experience. He'd have to run over and check up, if it was still there, and get some practice in.
‟…I'm still surprised she agreed to go out with you."
‟Hey, you doubting my charms?"
‟Yes. I am. Or I was. Good job."
‟Thanks Cat."
‟…Now just don't screw it up." - The sardonic smile on her face just twisted the pressure a little deeper.
‟I'm scared enough without you saying that."
One more thing before he left, ‟I, I had something else to ask."
Catti's ears twitched in response. He knew he was going to sound like a dumbass. But it was better he knew something before going to his mom.
‟Uhm, Catti, do… do you know what a 'GPA' is?"
