The Eighth Year Universe

Love Wins

Where I Keep All My Yesterdays


The chapter title is from the song:

My Town – Montgomery Gentry.


Potter Manor

Wednesday the 8th of September

Michael dropped Lilly off at Potter Manor and promised her that he wouldn't tell Linda that she had been released until tomorrow to give her some time to settle.

Lilly let out a sigh of relief and thanked him. She knew fine well her mother would be over here fussing over her in minutes otherwise.

"Just remember - "

Lilly cut Michael off, "Pain potions three times daily, rest it if it starts to ache. If it bruises, floo you. If it bleeds, floo you. If it falls off, floo you. I've got it, Michael. Thank you…for everything."

Michael smiled and nodded, "Look after that foot. It's the finest and possibly the last bit of work I'll ever do."

Lilly leant on her crutches and gave him an exasperated look, "You'll work again, I promise. Keep your spirits up, and…don't let Mum find out where Hubert Davies lives, please. I wouldn't put it past her to throw a letterbomb through his wards."

Michael snorted, "You know your mother too well," he said.

Lilly chuckled and turned around, leaning on her crutches as she made her way into the entrance hall. She expected Neville to be here – he had told her that he and the kids were staying at Potter Manor to make things easier on the kids, and probably on Harry too.

He had never been that good at coping without Daphne, even though Lilly knew they would be talking via floo every day.

"Harry? Neville?"

"Lilly?"

"Yes, it's me," Lilly called dramatically, "Your long lost wife! Freed from the hospital I've been kept captive in for the last week and a half!"

Neville stepped out from behind a tapestry and grinned, "You didn't tell me you were getting discharged today!"

"I only found out this morning," Lilly said, chuckling as Neville hugged her gently.

She rested her weight on her good leg and brushed her lips against his, "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Neville said with a smile. He pushed a loose hair behind Lilly's ear and nodded, "A little stressed, but fine. You should sit down though - "

"I'm fine when I'm leaning on my crutches," Lilly promised, "Where are the kids? I want to see them so badly."

"They want to see you just as badly," Neville promised with a small smile. He raised his voice, "Jamie, Harry, Laurie! You've got a visitor!"

Laurel was the first to appear. She stepped out of the library, and her eyes lit up, "Mum! Mum, you're okay!"

Lilly smiled and held out an arm, "I'm okay, baby."

Laurel hugged her and tried to hide her tears, "I was really scared that I was gonna lose you."

"We all were," Neville said, his eyes meeting Lilly's.

She nodded. It was a silent 'don't be so damn noble next time', and she understood that.

"Mum!"

"Mum!"

The twins' shouts came from above, and they barreled down the staircase then nearly knocked Lilly off her feet when they hugged her. Neville scolded them, but Lilly just laughed and kissed them both on the head.

"You're home."

Lilly raised an eyebrow, "Do we live here now then?"

"We do have bigger rooms here," James joked with a grin.

And that was true. With its three floors and ten bedrooms, Potter Manor was huge. Longbottom house was more like a large farmhouse. Yes, it had eight bedrooms, but they were all pretty small. Neville and Lilly had the largest room with an ensuite, and Laurel had a slightly smaller one next to them, which also had an ensuite. James and Harry shared the two next biggest rooms with a jack and jill bathroom that was single-handedly the dirtiest room in the entire house. The other bedrooms were box rooms.

"And every single room has its own bathroom!" Laurel added.

Lilly shot Neville a pointed look, "We're not moving in, are we?"

"Not permanently," Neville replied, ignoring his children's groans, "Because I happen to like our house."

Harry made a face, "This house is better though."

"It's not instilled with Longbottom family history and values though, is it?" Lilly pointed out, giving her son a pointed look, "Remembering who you are is important, Harry."

Harry shrugged, and Lilly winced as she felt a slight pain in her foot. Neville noticed and said, "Anyway, your mum needs a lot of rest, alright?"

The three kids nodded, and Neville, to Lilly's chagrin, insisted on helping her down to the kitchen where she could rest her foot for a while and have a coffee.

As it turned out, having coffee in the kitchen was a good idea because it meant they could speak a little more freely about everything that was going on.

"Where's Harry?" Lilly asked.

Neville noted the concern in her voice and turned around from where he was fiddling with a kettle, "He's fine, don't worry. We did duel the other night, he had a lot of pent up rage to get out, but he's doing better for letting off steam. He's at the ministry at the moment."

Lilly looked at Neville intensely, "Doing what?"

"He's a special advisor to the Minister, technically," Neville replied with a shrug.

Lilly rolled her eyes and said, "That's just a fancy way of saying he's Draco's friend, isn't it?"

"It's a fancy way of saying Draco needs him to win this war," Neville corrected his wife.

Lilly shook her head, "Why does it always have to be him, Neville? Why can't someone else be the saviour for a change?"

Neville smiled sadly and put a cup of coffee in front of her, "He thinks he's cursed."

"I'm starting to think he's right," Lilly said quietly. She looked down at the coffee, and Neville was about to ask her what was on her mind when the kitchen door opened.

"Aunt Lilly!"

Lilly looked up and brightened up a little when she saw Alastor. He was mucky and had obviously just come from the greenhouse, but he seemed genuinely pleased to see her.

"Hey Al," Lilly said lightly.

Alastor crossed the room and hugged her, and Lilly shot Neville a surprised look. He smiled and said, "Al was pretty worried about you after Diagon Alley."

"He cried," another voice said.

Lilly smiled as Alastor drew back from the hug and blushed.

"Thanks, Al, but I'm okay, I promise."

"And I didn't cry," Alastor said. He glared at his sister, who had just come in via the entrance hall.

Andrea smirked and nodded, "Uh-huh."

She shifted her gaze to Lilly and said, "We were worried Aunt Lilly. I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too, sweetheart," Lilly said. She fought a yawn and picked her coffee mug up, "We've got the whole clan here, huh?"

"Not quite," Neville replied, "You know that Thea is in France with Daphne and Lareina, don't you?"

"Yeah," Lilly nodded, "Although she hasn't called me once yet. I'm starting to get offended."

"She's hardly spoken to Harry either, so I wouldn't take too much offence," Neville said, shooting Lilly an amused look, "Technically, she shouldn't have left the country, so she's keeping contact to a minimum."

"Hm, I suppose I can forgive her then," Lilly joked as she sipped her coffee.

As an afterthought, Lilly asked, "How's Ted?"

"He's okay," Neville replied, "They had a good honeymoon, but with everything going on, they've had to make some changes. Nina's working at Lupin House. We thought it would be safer."

"Good," Lilly agreed, "Yeah, good call. It will be safer. Not for Ted, Nick and Mina, though…they're right at the heart of this as Aurors. Nina must be worried sick…."

Neville nodded and leant against the kitchen table, "Daphne's going to speak to her when she comes home. She knows a thing about loving three people who put themselves in danger on a regular basis."

And Lilly couldn't really argue with that. When they had been the same age as Teddy and his family, she had been a Trauma Healer, and Harry and Neville had both been Aurors.

"To be fair, she wasn't exactly in a safe job herself," Lilly pointed out.

"Curse breaking has never been safe, but she's always been okay," Neville returned, "You know Daphne, her reflexes are as quick as her wit."

"They won't be forever, though," Lilly said, her eyes on Neville's once more, "If what happened in Diagon Alley taught me anything, it's that maybe it's time for all of us to take on a slower pace of life."

Alastor nodded and said, "You're getting old now. That's fair."

"Old?" Lilly scoffed, "Oh, you watch it if you want a decent Christmas gift this year."

Andrea grinned, and Alastor rolled his eyes.

"Aunt Lil, I know you're just home, and you're probably tired, but I just wanted to tell you something," Andrea said, her eyes lighting up, "I figured it out."

Lilly smiled slightly, "You figured out what kind of Healer you want to be?"

With a nod, Andrea said, "I felt a sense of belonging and…purpose…when I was helping those kids in the refuge centre after the attack, so I want to go into midwifery and paediatrics."

Lilly chuckled and said, "Well, as the person who approves the apprenticeships for that department, I think you're in with a good shout. But I'll warn you; I'm a strict teacher."

Neville snorted, "She's not kiddin'. You'll see a different side of her on the job, Andie. Hope you're not scared of dragons cause that's what Lilly turns into when she's angry at an apprentice."

Lilly shot Neville an exasperated look, "I might not be able to punch you, but I do have crutches, and I will hit you with one."

Alastor snorted, and Andrea snickered at the look on Neville's face.

"Yeah, I don't doubt it," Neville said, but the fond smile he shot his wife gave away his true feelings.

And Lilly smiled back, so they knew there was no truth in the threat.

Despite the fact the world was going to shit, Lilly was just happy to be home.


Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes, France

Wednesday the 8th of September

The chalet in the Alps was probably Daphne's favourite thing that the Greengrass's owned. Initially, it had been her mothers, but it was one of the pieces of land included in Lareina's dowry when she married Cygnus, which technically made it Narcissa's now.

She didn't mind them using it though, especially when it was as much for Daphne and Thea's benefit as it was for Lareina's.

The chalet was isolated, which made it a perfect escape. It was nestled into the mountainside, 1000 meters above sea level. It stood alone and proudly, just a beautifully kept wooden chalet, painted in Beauxbatons blue.

They had been here for a few days now, and Thea was already relaxing. Daphne could see it in the way her daughter held herself, even if she still wasn't speaking much or opening up about how she felt about Diagon Alley and everything that had happened with Zachary Smith before that.

It was warm here, even in September, but it was also the rainiest month of the year. The rain wasn't cold like it was back in England, though, making things a little more bearable. There was an open-air pond that was just deep enough to swim in, and Daphne had swum in it every morning so far, even when it had been raining.

Thea went out to get the eggs from the chicken coup every morning and helped her grandmother make breakfast while Daphne had her swim. There weren't any house-elves here, which Daphne had liked as a child. This had been her life for so long.

After the fire, her mother had moved to this chalet with the intention being to stay there and send her daughters to Beuxbatons. Daphne had messed that plan up by wanting to go back home and attend Hogwarts. For a while, Lareina had resented her for that.

Still, Daphne had such fond memories of this house. Of Astoria running out to fetch the eggs each morning and both of them helping their mother cook. She remembered teaching Astoria how to paddle then swim in the pond outside. She remembered how it froze over in the winter months, and they would skate on it, only to get yelled at by their Uncle Phineas because, "If that ice breaks and you go in, I won't get hypothermia saving you!"

One time Astoria had fallen in, and Phineas had jumped in after her, so they knew it was an empty threat. They'd been so much more careful after that though, because of how angry it had made a man who generally seemed so placid.

For the first time since she read the list of the dead from the Diagon Alley attack, Daphne felt a pang of pain in her chest for Phineas.

Her mother was grieving him, of course. She had loved her husband's brother far more than she had ever loved her husband, but after they were released from Azkaban, it was clear that nothing could be between them. The feelings there were far too complicated. They could never be happy again.

Daphne sighed and looked at the time. It was getting late, but it wasn't dark here yet. She thought about calling Lilly, but she wasn't sure when she would get home from the hospital. Michael had sent her a message saying that Lilly would be getting discharged today and that she was doing fine, all things considered.

"Deep in thought, love?"

Her mother's voice drew Daphne out of her thoughts. She had been leaning against the windowsill in the small farmhouse style kitchen. The window was wide open, and her mother was standing on the other side of it.

"Sort of," Daphne replied. She looked behind Lareina but didn't see her daughter anywhere.

"Where's Thea?"

"In the sauna," Lareina replied, motioning to the small wooden building above the pond, "I told her not to be too long, and she promised she wouldn't be."

Daphne nodded and asked her mother if she wanted a glass of wine. As anticipated, Lareina's answer was, "Of course."

So she filled up two glasses and stepped outside. They sat down on a wooden bench with the alps laid out in the distance before them. Daphne handed her mother her wine, and for a minute, they both sipped their drinks silently.

"I know you haven't forgiven me yet," Lareina said quietly, "And I don't expect you to, I promise. I know what I did, Daphne. I know it's unforgivable."

Daphne shook her head but couldn't meet her mother's eye, "It's hard to forgive, but I have forgiven you. Forgetting is harder, though."

Lareina bowed her head.

"And it's not even because you tried to kill Dad," Daphne admitted, "It should be because of that, but it's hard to take sides in that debate because he was an alcoholic and he gambled, and…he was awful when I was a kid. I only really got to know my father when I was an adult myself."

Lareina looked over at her daughter. She felt guilty about the conflict in Daphne's eyes.

"It's hard to forget that you spent my entire life lying to Astoria and me," Daphne admitted.

Lareina sighed, "I didn't see it as lying, Daphne. As far as I was concerned, I was protecting you and Astoria. Your father was an alcoholic back then. He was not a good man. Yes, I exaggerated some truths and made him out to be worse than he was, but he was violent when he was drunk."

Daphne swallowed and nodded, "I know. I…remember."

Lareina looked over in shock, "No. He never hurt you. He always swore to me that he would not hurt you."

Daphne shrugged, "He tried to hurt Astoria once, and I stood in his way. That was the only time. It was obvious he felt bad about it afterwards. I think that was the only time I saw him cry, as a kid, anyway."

Lareina reached down and gripped Daphne's hand, "I'm sorry."

Daphne didn't yank her hand out of her mother's, but she did take a large gulp of wine before saying what was on her mind.

"I don't understand why you made him out to be worse than he was," Daphne admitted, "Maybe it was because you didn't love him, I don't know. But when Harry was an alcoholic, I protected him, I didn't let anyone see how bad things were, and I especially wouldn't have villainised him to our children."

"Because you love him," Lareina said softly, "And we always see the good in the people we love, even when it's hard."

Daphne nodded, her eyes on the ground, "It was hard sometimes."

Lareina recognised that tone, and it made her freeze, "He never…hurt you?"

"Never on purpose," Daphne promised, "Once when he was drunk and having a nightmare. It was the catalyst for him to get sober…in the end."

Lareina sighed and shook her head, "I should have been there for you, and I wasn't because I was in prison for a mistake I made."

Daphne frowned but said nothing.

"I did the wrong thing, Daphne," Lareina said quietly, "But I hoped, with us being in the middle of a war, that your father's death wouldn't go amiss. I hoped Phineas and I could be happy, that you could be free of your father's expectations and demands, and I was right, in a way. You chose Harry. I don't know if your father would have let you had he been there for your last year of school."

"I think he might have," Daphne admitted, "But I understand why you did it, even though it was the wrong thing."

Lareina nodded, and Daphne smiled at her mother, "I suppose it just makes you more of a Greengrass than I thought you were because you made the classic Greengrass move of doing the wrong thing for the right reasons."

Lareina laughed at that and squeezed Daphne's hand, and although Daphne felt a little tearful, she laughed too.

When Thea came out of the sauna and waved to them both, Daphne thought maybe not everything that was broken had to stay that way forever.


Potter Manor

Wednesday the 8th of September

Lilly was lying in bed when the mirror she kept on her bedside table buzzed. She reached over and grabbed it, saying the incantation that accepted the call.

Daphne's face appeared in the mirror. She looked like the break was doing her good. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and her face shone with a golden glow.

"Hey," Lilly sighed, "Nice to see you, it's been a while."

"I know," Daphne said apologetically, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you at Sorenson's funeral."

Lilly shook her head, "It's fine. I'm home now, so that's good."

"Home?" Daphne asked, "Not at Longbottom House? I don't want you to have to try and manage the kids on your own - "

"I'm not at Longbottom House," Lilly cut in before Daphne could get too protective, "I'm at Potter Manor, which, yes, I did just refer to as home. The kids are trying to convince us to move in."

Daphne laughed, "Well, it's been a tough time. I'm glad it brought us together."

"Like we needed to come any closer together," Lilly muttered.

Daphne's laugh was lighter then, "How are you feeling?"

"Sore, tired," Lilly sighed, "Worried about Harry."

That caught Daphne's interest, "Harry? Why?"

"He's been out all day," Lilly replied, "Neville said he's a special advisor of the Minister and that he had a meeting. But he hasn't been back since, and…he was slipping at Sorenson's funeral. He had to leave early, so he didn't have a drink."

"I know, he told me that," Daphne admitted, "But he said he duelled Neville. He said he was feeling better, and I believe him, Lil. He's been sober for so long now."

"I know," Lilly rubbed her face with the hand that wasn't holding the mirror, "But it's been a hard few weeks and…the prophecy has to be weighing on his mind. Hermione is his best friend, after all."

Daphne was quiet for a moment, and Lilly saw the torment in her eyes as she tried to think about what to say to that.

"It's weighing on all of our minds," Daphne eventually said, "I care about them all, and I'm worried about them too."

"So am I," Lilly admitted, "And I can't help but think that Diagon Alley…it's the start, it's leading up to something big."

"Do you think I should come home?" Daphne asked.

"No," Lilly replied honestly, "No, Daphne. I think we're all pretty happy for you to stay far away from the danger."

"That doesn't mean I should," Daphne pointed out, "I'm not some china doll that you shove on a shelf, Lilly. If this is heating up, then I should be there to fight with you."

Lilly looked into the mirror and said, "Stay in France a little longer, please."

Daphne sighed, then nodded, "Fine, but I'll come home before Mabon."

Lilly nodded and rolled onto her front, laying the mirror on the pillow in front of her, "If that's what you need to do. How's Thea?"

Daphne shook her head and sighed, "She's acting like she's fine, which is exactly what I would do to cover up my pain."

Lilly had been rubbing her eyes, but she stopped and looked at Daphne, "She's hurting, isn't she?"

"Of course she is," Daphne replied, "My mother is talking to her more than me. I've tried, but nothing I do or say works. All I can do is be here and say the right thing when she needs me to."

"At least you are there," Lilly said softly, "That's what she'll remember. It will be what matters to her in ten years when she realises how stupid her decisions were."

Daphne just nodded. She looked down, and Lilly was pretty sure it was because she was crying or trying her best not to cry.

"I miss you."

Lilly smiled slightly, "I miss you too. Look after yourself and Thea, though. I'll look after the boys."

Daphne chuckled and looked up, "I know you will."


Lilly fell asleep early that night. When she woke up, her body clock told her that it was early morning, but it was the middle of the night in reality. Her sleep pattern had gone to shit in the hospital, so she got up and grabbed her crutches. She winced and made her way out of the room without them so that the loud clicking wouldn't wake Neville up.

At 2 am, she expected the house to be silent and empty. But when she stepped into the kitchen, Harry was sitting at the table with a bottle of firewhiskey in front of him.

"Harry, please tell me you - "

"I haven't opened it," Harry said quietly.

Lilly abandoned her crutches by the door and sat down next to him on the bench seat. She grabbed the bottle and checked – surely enough, the seal hadn't been broken.

She sighed and reached out slowly, placing her hand on his arm. When he didn't flinch or pull away, Lilly moved her hand down into his, and he instinctively interlaced his fingers through hers.

"Talk to me about it," Lilly said softly.

Harry shook his head and turned towards her. Lilly pulled him into a hug, and she felt his body shake as his head rested on her shoulder. He wasn't sobbing, but he was upset and shaking.

Lilly kept her hand in his and swallowed. She leaned into the hug and let out a relieved breath. He didn't smell of firewhiskey, so while he had been thinking about it, he hadn't relapsed.

"It never ends," Harry said, his voice choked.

Lilly pulled back slightly, "What doesn't?" she asked, her eyes searching his.

"The war," Harry said. His eyes were red and bloodshot; he looked exhausted, "It never ends. Every time I think it's in the past, there's a reminder. I'll never be over it, Lilly. I'm in my 40s, and I'll never be over everything Voldemort put me through."

"And that's okay," Lilly said. She wasn't sure why she was whispering when they were alone in the kitchen. Maybe it was the intensity of the moment.

She took her hand out of his and moved it to his cheek, "What he put you through when you were so young, it was awful, Harry. I don't think you will ever be over it, which is why you have a very good therapist and a supportive family."

Harry nodded and looked her in the eye. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it and shook his head.

Lilly was worried. If whatever had happened today was bad enough to drive him towards drink and have him so vulnerable that he was willing to come undone like this, then it was bad.

Still, pushing him wasn't going to make him open up. That had never worked with Harry. Gently needling the truth out of him was usually the way to go.

Lilly cocked her head and kept her hand on his cheek, "You miss Daphne, don't you?"

Harry smiled sadly and looked down, "I always miss Daphne when she's away. But it's been harder this time because…you were too."

"But I'm here now," Lilly promised, "So whatever has you this upset, we're going to work it out, Harry."

Harry shook his head and reached up to grab Lilly's hand. It was so that he could push her away, but she didn't let him do that. She twisted her fingers into his and gripped his hand tightly instead.

"There's no working this one out, Lilly," Harry said quietly, "Not without someone getting hurt."

Lilly looked at Harry searchingly, "Working what out, Harry? What is it?"

Harry met her gaze and swallowed. He looked scared and helpless, like he was twenty years younger. It broke Lilly's heart to see a look like that in the eyes of someone so strong.

"Alfred Nott is Lazarus."

- TBC -