Author's Note: I realize the last chapter was rather short and I apologize for that. It was mostly filler, anyways. This chapter, however, leads us – and Cory – back into darkness. Shawn loses someone kind of important to him and the consequences of that snap back at Cory. I hope you enjoy this chapter and remember to review.
Callidora.
Eight
The next few weeks were, as Cory had predicted, quiet. He and Shawn made a routine for themselves. Shawn would work from around eight in the morning to around seven in the evening, stopping at noon for lunch. While Shawn was working, Cory was often cleaning the house or working on dinner or lunch. After dinner, they'd watch a movie or just sit in bed and talk until it was time for bed. Cory's parents had come around a few times, mostly just to check that Cory was all right.
Still, after a couple of weeks, Cory started to get a little bored. Thankfully, Eric was off work on a Friday and invited him out bowling. Sticking his head into Shawn's office, he smiled. Shawn was working in his pajama bottoms again. He had a cup of coffee – that in all honesty had probably gone cold by then – next to him and was typing furiously. Cory grinned, resisting the urge to go and kiss him. When Shawn was in this sort of creative mood, it usually wasn't a great idea to interrupt him so Cory just shut the door and left a note on the kitchen counter before heading out to Eric's car.
"Did you let Shawn know you're leaving?" Eric asked, smiling as they pulled out of the driveway.
"I left a note. He's in a creative mood today so I didn't bother interrupting him. He threw a pen at my head the last time." Cory grinned. "It's kind of adorable when he does that."
Eric snorted. "Guy throws a pen at you and you call him adorable. If I threw a pen at you, you'd call me psycho."
"That's because you're not Shawn. He's the only person on the face of the earth that can manage to look both grumpy and adorable all at the same time." Cory pointed out.
"Hey! Jack says the same thing about me!"
"Then he's delusional and needs his head checked." Cory said, fighting the grin that pulled at the corners of his lips.
"Hm. You're just jealous 'cause my boyfriend is cuter than yours."
"Two things. One: You're a girl. And two: Shawn is the cutest thing on the planet."
Eric laughed. "In your dreams. Have you seen Jack's ass? He's got the sexiest ass on the planet."
Cory blushed. "I have no wish to see your boyfriend's ass, Eric. I haven't even seen Shawn's ass." He said.
Eric burst out laughing. "You haven't seen Shawn's ass? Then how do you have sex?" He smirked sideways at Cory. "You a bottom little bro?"
Cory felt his cheeks turn scarlet. "I'm not a bottom! I just…we're waiting until the divorce is final to do anything like that!" He sputtered.
His brother laughed again. "So Shawn is the bottom, then huh? Never woulda guessed."
God. Shawn was going to murder him. "If you tell him that I told you that, he'll kill me."
"Oh, I won't tell him." Eric said, too innocently for Cory's tastes.
"Don't tell Jack either." Cory warned.
If Jack knew information like this, he would undoubtedly use it to tease Shawn. Shawn would then murder both Cory and Jack.
Eric's face fell. "Damn. Fine, fine." He said, waving a hand.
"I'm serious, Eric! He'll kill Jack and then you and then me." Cory insisted.
"Don't worry, I won't tell him. I value my boyfriend's life, you know."
"What about my life?" Cory asked.
"Eh. Yours too. But Shawn loves you. He wouldn't kill you. Stop talking to you for three days? Oh yeah. But not kill you."
"You don't know that. He nearly killed me yesterday when I told him dinner was ready."
"Why?" Eric asked, pulling into the bowling alley.
"He was in a creative mood. I stuck my head in and told him to come and eat. He threw a pen at me and it nearly lodged itself in my forehead." Cory laughed. "He repented for an hour afterwards but it was still pretty funny."
Eric rolled his eyes. "At least that won't ever change." He said.
"What won't?"
"The way you two bicker." Eric grinned.
"Oh. No, that won't change. We bicker more now, actually. Last night it was because he kept stealing all the blankets. Night before it was because Shawn kept humming while I was trying to watch television." Cory rolled his eyes. "It's funner now, though, because I get to kiss him after we're finished."
Eric smirked as he paid for their entrance. "Trust me, it gets better. Wait until you can have make up sex." He laughed. "Sometimes, I swear Jack picks a fight with me just so we can have make up sex."
Cory laughed. "I can see Shawn doing the same thing."
Eric laughed again, leading Cory over to their lane. For the next two hours Cory and Eric bowled against each other. Eric won all four games and was incredibly smug about it. They stopped at a fast food place on the way home to get something to eat before he dropped Cory off at home. Eric himself wanted to get home before Jack went to work because Jack got annoyed if he didn't get to see Eric before headed out.
When they pulled into the driveway, Shawn's car wasn't there. It didn't really worry Cory. Once in a while, Shawn would drive down to work in the park or in a café or something. He must have taken advantage of the time Cory was gone to go and do something similar. Cory walked into the house and flipped on the lights. He was on his way to the fridge when he noticed Shawn's note laying on the counter. Picking it up, Cory felt his chest sink. The writing was scrawled and hurried; Cory could feel the madness behind it.
Cory,
Stacy called. My mom died yesterday afternoon and I was preoccupied with taking care of you so I didn't get the call. I have to head home to make sure Stacy's all right. I'll be back tomorrow sometime if I can make it.
Shawn.
Cory felt his heart breaking all over again. Once again, he'd messed something up. Shawn had been so preoccupied with him that he hadn't been there to say goodbye to his own mother. There were tears in his eyes as he set the note on the counter. Even though Shawn hadn't directly said it, Cory knew that he was being blamed for this. Shawn had lost both of his parents now and he hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to one of them.
Suddenly, it was all too much. He'd told Shawn that this was a bad idea, that he could only ruin things. This was proof of that. Blindly, Cory found himself walking in the direction of the bathroom. His mind was spinning, the thoughts seeming hazy and unclear. He didn't know what he was doing. All he knew was that he wanted this to go away. He wanted to not be a problem anymore. Shawn had lost too much for Cory's sake. Cory wouldn't let him lose anything else.
He reached out, one hand closing around a bottle of sleeping pills on the counter. His doctor had prescribed them because Cory had a bit of trouble sleeping in the beginning. But, he'd been so comfortable with Shawn that he hadn't had trouble sleeping since he'd left the hospital. Stumbling out into the bedroom, Cory went to lay down. A part of him – the rational part of him – knew that he shouldn't be doing this here. But he couldn't listen to that part. He was on autopilot, his brain working only within the confines of a set program, it seemed. He dumped a handful of the pills into his hand and tossed them into his mouth. It was difficult to swallow and he fumbled for the water on the side of the bed but, eventually, he did swallow.
Cory closed his eyes, feeling warm and sleepy. He supposed this wasn't a bad way to die. At least there would be no mess to clean up for Shawn. It would be like he was sleeping. He wished it hurt more, though, because he deserved the pain. But that didn't matter. He was getting death, he was getting what he truly deserved. It didn't matter how it happened.
As he slipped into the final sleep of his life, Cory vaguely heard someone's voice. They were crying, it sounded like, and he struggled to retain consciousness. Still, he found himself falling into sleep before he could really figure anything out. Whoever it was, he hoped that they knew he loved them. And, someday, he hoped they found happiness without him.
