Chapter 16

Getting a private audience with Maul was ridiculously easy. Obi-wan hadn't even asked what Anakin needed it for when Anakin had requested to borrow his credit card. He had simply handed it over with a kiss and a smile.

Anakin felt terrible. He knew that if Obi-wan was aware of his plans, he wouldn't have been so happy to go along with what Anakin asked. He felt like he was abusing Obi-wan's trust, but he had to get Ahsoka back, and Obi-wan would never let him do this.

It was the only way. Anakin would do anything to get her back. Anything.

A few hefty bribes had bought him and Maul several hours alone in a soundproofed room with no cameras or guards on the inside. The thought made Anakin sick with fear, but he had made his choice. He would sacrifice whatever he had to for Ahsoka's safety.

"Well, well, well, look who came to visit." Maul smirked at him. Anakin wanted to lunge forward and rip Maul's face off with his fingernails, but he reminded himself that this monster knew where his sister was, and could probably have her killed with a simple call.

"I want Ahsoka back."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Who is this Ahsoka?" Maul's wide, malicious smile mocked Anakin, but Anakin couldn't break now, he needed to keep control of himself.

He checked that the door was closed, and started taking his clothes off.

That got Maul's attention. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Anakin spat. "I'm giving you what you want. Me. You can have me. I just want Ahsoka."

He dropped the last of his clothes to the ground and stood facing Maul. Terror was pounding through his veins, but he forced himself to stand his ground.

Maul took two large steps toward him so that he was pressed up against Anakin. He flipped Anakin around, pushing his front against the wall, Maul's front against his back.

"And just why would I do that, darling? So that you can get me on tape for this sham of a trial? I don't think so."

"No – I'm not recording this, I swear. I just want my sister. Please."

"We're done here. You know what to do if you want her back."

"But I can't control everyone! I can withdraw my testimony, but I can't make the other witnesses do the same, and I can't make the DA drop the charges!"

"Then I hope you have a lovely funeral," Maul purred.

Anakin felt faint. He held onto the wall for dear life as Maul opened the door and strode out. Anakin scrambled for his clothes before the guards could see what he'd done, what he had almost let Maul do to him.

He didn't know how he got out of the prison. It was all a bit of a blur. The next thing he was fully aware of was Obi-wan's voice. Had he called Obi-wan? He must have.

"Anakin? Anakin, are you there?"

Anakin tried to force words out, but all that came was a ragged sob. He gasped desperately for air, trying to hear the sound of Obi-wan's voice over his own harsh breathing.

His knees gave out and he fell to the ground, cradling the phone to his ear.

"I'm here, sweetheart. Just breathe for me. Can you tell me where you are?"

"The prison," Anakin gasped.

"What?" Obi-wan's voice sharpened. "Are you ok?"

"I – can you come and pick me up?"

"Of course. I'm on my way right now. Are you in trouble? Do you need a lawyer?"

Anakin shook his head, but then realized Obi-wan couldn't see that.

"No. I came to see… I came to see Maul."

Anakin heard the sound of an engine revving in the background.

"Did he touch you?" Obi-wan growled.

"No – not really."

"What do you mean, not really?"

"I don't…" Anakin didn't know how to explain. How could he explain what he saw now was a fool's errand? "Please don't be mad," he whispered.

"The only one I'm mad at is Maul. Not you, Anakin, never you. Just sit tight, dearest. I'm nearly there."

Anakin continued to listen to the soothing sound of Obi-wan's voice as Obi-wan drove, giving Anakin little snippets of his day to distract him. Anakin took the words for the lifeline they were. He slowly managed to get his breathing under control. By the time Obi-wan arrived, he was able to stand by himself and get into the car.

"Sweetheart, come here."

Obi-wan opened his arms, but Anakin drew back to the furthest reaches of the passenger seat. Hot shame was bubbling up inside him, making it impossible even to look at Obi-wan, let alone allow Obi-wan to embrace him.

"Anakin?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Anakin mumbled. "Please, just take me home."

"You don't need to apologize."

Anakin just shook his head. "Take me home," he repeated.

Obi-wan sighed and started the car. Anakin didn't speak on the way back. He didn't know if Obi-wan said anything. If he did, Anakin wasn't able to hear it over the screaming in his own head.

Obi-wan pulled into the garage and walked around to the passenger side, opening Anakin's door. Anakin took a deep breath and got out. He sidestepped Obi-wan and hurried through to the bedroom.

There, he got the spare duvet out of the cupboard, piled it on top of the already existing duvet, and burrowed under both of them, curling himself into the smallest ball he could manage.

"Mind if I join you down there?"

Anakin shook his head, no, but of course, Obi-wan couldn't see him. "Anakin? Please, sweetheart, talk to me. I'm worried about you."

Irrational anger flared in Anakin's gut. He pulled the blankets down just enough to reveal his head. "You're worried about me? What the hell, Obi-wan! I almost cheated on you! I would have if Maul hadn't turned me down! How can you even look at me? After everything you've done for me, after all, that you've put up with without a word of complaint, I go and throw myself at another man, and you have nothing to say except you're worried about me?"

"Oh, Anakin." Obi-wan's face softened into something unbearably tender. "You didn't cheat on me – or try to."

"Have you not been listening? I offered myself to Maul!"

"I heard you. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you weren't offering yourself out of an overwhelming desire for Maul's charms?"

"I – what? Of course not!"

"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say you offered your body in exchange for Ahsoka."

Anakin nodded, tears spilling down his cheeks. "It didn't work. He turned me down. Ahsoka is as good as dead."

"We'll come back to that in a moment, but let's first deal with this ridiculous notion that you were trying to cheat on me. You were only offering yourself to Maul because he's holding your sister hostage. That's not consent, that's coerced consent. Coerced consent is not consent; we've been through this, Anakin."

Anakin stared dumbly at Obi-wan. Was he serious? "You're just going to let me off the hook like that?"

"There is no hook, Anakin. Coerced consent is not consent. And whatever consent you may have given Maul was nothing if not coerced. What you did was foolish, but it was hardly cheating. I'm not angry. I'm just relieved he didn't hurt you."

Anakin stared at Obi-wan, trying to decide whether or not to believe him. Any sane person would have kicked Anakin to the curb by now, but this was Obi-wan, who loved and accepted Anakin unconditionally, no matter how badly he fucked up.

"Can I join you, dearest?"

Anakin nodded. "You really think I didn't do anything wrong?" he asked in a small voice as Obi-wan slipped into bed behind him.

"You shouldn't have done it, but in terms of our relationship? You didn't cross any boundaries. I'm just relieved he was smart enough not to touch you."

Anakin decided not to tell Obi-wan about Maul pressing him up against the wall when he was naked. The last thing he needed was Obi-wan losing his head completely and ordering a hit against Maul.

"I'm sorry."

Obi-wan kissed away Anakin's tears. "Don't be sorry, dearest. I understand why you did what you did, even if I don't agree with it."

"I used your credit card to bribe the guards to give Maul and me a private room."

Obi-wan shrugged.

"Seriously? Is there anything I could do that would make you angry with me?"

"Well, we have our entire lives to find out. But even if I get angry, I'll always come back to you. I love you so much, Anakin. You're worth the entire world to me, and I'm so, so lucky to have you."

Anakin found he couldn't meet Obi-wan's gaze. What had he ever done to deserve such adoration? Surely, he wasn't worth it.

But when Obi-wan was looking at like him like that, it was so easy to believe that maybe, just maybe, he was.

Anakin sighed and finally began to relax into Obi-wan's arms. He felt like he was taking a full breath for the first time since he had left for the prison.

"There you go. Just rest, sweetheart. Now, back to what you said about Ahsoka. I still have people looking and they will find her. They tell me it may take some time, but she's not going to be gone forever. Maul isn't going to have her killed, not when he still needs her as leverage, which means it's only a matter of time until we find her and bring her home."

"How can you be so sure? So many people are kidnapped every day and never found. She may not even be in the country anymore. What if she's already been sold to human traffickers and –"

"Anakin, stop. Just breathe dearest. There's no point in assuming the worst. We'll just torture ourselves like that to no useful end. Yes, many people who are kidnapped aren't found, but the people looking for them don't have the resources I do. You have no idea how many problems time and money can solve."

"What if Ahsoka doesn't have time?"

"Ahsoka is tough. We have to believe in her, just like she needs to believe in us."

"I can't stand waiting like this. It's driving me crazy."

"I know. I know, dearest. I wish I had something to say that could make it better, but the only thing I can offer you is hope. It'll have to be enough."

Anakin dearly wanted to sleep, but he worried that he'd have nightmares about Maul pushing him against that wall if he did. "What can we do? There must be something your team needs. Following up mindless leads, calling numbers, checking post boxes, things like that."

"I'll ask. You're right, I'm sure they can find something for us to do."

"You don't have to – I know you're busy with work. I just meant for me…"

Obi-wan snorted. "You think I've been working since Ahsoka was taken? More like pretending to work. Cody has been gracious enough not to call me out on it. Right now, he's the one running the business and everyone knows it. I'll get back into things once my family is safe."

"Your family."

"Yes, Anakin. You and Ahsoka are my family. Have I not been clear enough on that, dearest?"

"We… not… I don't deserve…"

Obi-wan sighed and pulled Anakin close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I will convince you that you are worth it one day, Anakin. If it takes me fifty years, I swear I'll do it."

Anakin smiled shyly. "I suppose the least I could do is give you the opportunity to try."

"Exactly. Now, why don't you rest? You look exhausted."

Anakin shook his head at once. "I want to help with Ahsoka."

"As you wish."

He and Obi-wan spent the rest of the day calling numbers from a list that trailed down to the floor, asking repeatedly if anyone had seen any signs of Ahsoka on the night she had disappeared. Anakin didn't know how the list had been generated, but no one that he and Obi-wan called was able to help them.

Plo Koon, the head of the team looking for Ahsoka, assured them that this was completely normal. They cast a wide net and already had some promising leads. Anakin would have to take his word for it because looking at the depressingly long list certainly wasn't inspiring much hope.

Obi-wan finally called it a night at ten p.m., assuring Anakin that Plo had people working on this twenty-four-seven.

Anakin was reluctant to sleep but accompanied Obi-wan back to bed. He propped himself up against the headboard, determined to avoid any further nightmares about Maul.

Of course, Obi-wan noticed. "Anakin? You need sleep. You're dead on your feet, dearest."

"I don't want to sleep."

Obi-wan turned on the bedside light. "Why not?"

Anakin sighed. He supposed he may as well give in now. Obi-wan was going to get it out of him eventually.

"Maul touched me," he admitted.

"What?"

"Not in that way! Not anything sexual. But he did press me up against a wall when I was naked."

"You were naked in front of him?"

"I took my clothes off," Anakin admitted. "I thought that would entice him into taking my offer, but it didn't. I guess I was foolish to think my looks were good enough to earn me anything."

"Stop, Anakin, just stop. Sweetheart, please listen to me. First off, you are stunning. You are incandescent, so handsome it hurts, the epitome of sexiness – any person who can resist you is clinically insane or a psychopath, which I'm fairly certain Maul is."

Anakin felt himself blushing, but Obi-wan wasn't done yet. "But even more than that, you have a beautiful soul. I don't ever want you to think that your worth lies with how you look. I would love you if you were as hideous as Maul is."

Anakin chuckled. He didn't know whether Maul was good-looking or not to the outside eye, but to him, Maul's looks would always be tainted by his despicable actions. Clearly, Obi-wan felt the same.

"Why do you love me so much?" Maybe Anakin was just fishing for compliments, but he was feeling insecure and he needed Obi-wan's calm, gentle reassurance right now.

"So many reasons. You're so caring. You always do your best to help the people around you, even people you don't know. You're fiercely protective of those you love. You're so smart and funny, I feel like I could spend forever talking to you and never get bored. You…"

Anakin lay back and listened as Obi-wan went on, at great length, about all the reasons he loved Anakin. It was astonishing just how many reasons Obi-wan could come up with. Anakin drifted off while Obi-wan was still talking. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.