=Normal POV=
[Saturday, 6/15/2019; 5:00 am]
[Berk; Forger/Haddock Home]
Hayden laid awake in his bed staring up at the ceiling with his arms behind his head. Hayden had been awake since 1:00 this morning after going to bed at 11:30 pm Friday night; he'd gotten up to use the bathroom and get a drink of water but found himself unable to go back to sleep despite the overwhelming tiredness he felt. Hayden knew what today was; graduation day from Berk High School. Today was supposed to be happy and fun, but Hayden didn't feel that way. Honestly, Hayden wanted today to be over; he wanted to skip graduation entirely and maybe just get his diploma mailed to him, so that way he wouldn't have to go.
Hayden sighed heavily as he got up and decided to take a shower, and start his day since he clearly wasn't going back to sleep and had to be at the graduation location, Barbarchi Convention Arena in Archian City, for 8:00 this morning. Once again, there had been another change in scheduling Friday night that all Senior students got an e-mail about. The graduation would be at 11 am, but students were to arrive for 8 am for a final practice. This was to make sure families weren't out super late and could start their celebrations for early afternoon. By 5:45 am, Hayden finished his shower and got dressed in a pair of black jeans gray long-sleeve shirt, and black sneakers. Hayden combed his hair to be down, but it didn't stay that way, so he gave up on it and exited the bedroom after getting his wallet and phone. Getting to the kitchen, Hayden took his pill with a glass of milk and then started eating a chocolate chip granola bar while waiting for Spencer and Gabriel to wake up.
At 6:20 am, Hayden heard Spencer start crying, so he went to get him. After a quick change of diapers and into his day clothes, Hayden brought Spencer out to the dining area and set him into the high chair. Hayden got the jar of food for breakfast; it was typically fruits and then a bottle with some infant cereal in it afterward. Around 7:05 am, Gabriel wandered into the kitchen for some coffee and to greet Hayden and Spencer.
"Morning, lad," Gabriel smiled.
"Hi…" Hayden replied softly. Gabriel knew that tone instantly and saw Hayden's face with the dark circles under his eyes; Gabriel knew that his Godson wasn't in a good mood.
"Did ya get any sleep, son?" Gabriel asked. Hayden shook his head.
"An hour or two…" Hayden stated while wiping Spencer's face with a wipe and then giving him his bottle to enjoy. Hayden set the highchair to a reclined position and put the burp rag under his chin. Hayden washed out the jar and tossed it in the recycling bin; then set the spoon in the strainer to dry.
"How are you feeling?" Gabriel wondered.
"I…Really don't know right now," Hayden admitted. "I gotta go if I'm gonna make it to the city on time…Spencer is all set; he's been changed and fed. I already have my dress clothes. See you both later at the ceremony for 11 am," he kissed the top of Spencer's forehead while going over to get his keys.
"Hayden…One more thing," Gabriel said now as Hayden looked at him. "Are you gonna be alright?"
Hayden didn't say anything at first as he kept his head down; then turned his back to Gabriel. Hayden sniffled a few times and brought his right hand up to wipe away the tear that escaped his eye. "I don't know, Uncle Gabe. I honestly don't," he replied before leaving the house. Reaching the garage, Hayden tossed his bag with his dress clothes and shoes into the front seat. Hayden took a deep breath before starting the vehicle, throwing it in reverse as the garage door opened, and then Hayden backing out. Hayden switched to drive and heading for the highway.
Inside, the house, Gabriel saw Hayden go down the road before he grabbed his phone and dialed the Raseri Residence.
"Hello?" Rachel answered.
"Hey, Rachel; it's Gabriel. Is Trayden still there, or has he left for graduation practice?" Gabriel asked.
"He's about to leave now. Why what's up?" Rachel inquired.
"Can I speak with him real quick? It's about Hayden," Gabriel said.
"Hang on. Tray! Gabriel is on the phone; he wants to talk to you about Hayden for a sec," Rachel called.
"Is he okay?" Trayden questioned as the phone was handed off. "Hello?" he greeted.
"Hi, Tray. Nothing to be overly worried about, nothing has happened. Please keep an eye on Hayden through practice," Gabriel informed.
"Bad day?" Trayden replied.
"He said he got an hour or two of sleep. I asked how he felt and he said he didn't know. Before he left a few minutes ago, I inquired if he'd be alright, and Hayden also replied that he didn't know," Gabriel explained.
"I figured today might be hard for him. I felt it weeks ago during the sleepover when he withdrew from the conversation about everyone's plans for after graduation. We were all talking about things with our parents, and Hayden ended up leaving the basement for fifteen to twenty minutes. We still on for the plan I talked to you about?" Trayden questioned.
"I think so. I'll check with Hayden after the ceremony on what he wants to do; something tells me that he might not be up for a party, even if your intentions are good. Your dad has my cell; get it from him and keep me updated on Hayden, please? I'm worried that he's only gonna get worse as the day continues. And it's only a two or so weeks until the two-year anniversary of his parents' deaths. Things are gonna start getting questionable with his mood for a bit, and I don't want a repeat of last year," Gabriel stated.
"Understood. I don't think any of us want that, Gabriel. I gotta get going; it's a fifty-minute drive to the convention hall from here. I'll text you when I arrive and locate Hayden to let you know how he's doing," Trayden informed.
"Thank you, Trayden. Bye now," Gabriel hung up and sighed.
. . .
[8:15 am]
[Archian City; Mead Hall]
Trayden arrived, parked, and rushed inside the building to follow the other students of the Berk High School graduating class to where they'd be practicing for tonight.
"Tray! There you are," Katie called, waving him over to where they were. Trayden approached and smiled.
"Traffic driving in?" Syrus chuckled.
"Yeah, and I left a bit late. Gabriel called to ask me to keep an eye on Hayden," Trayden stated. "He didn't get any sleep last night, just a couple of hours. And Hayden's answer to both of Gabriel's questions about how he was feeling and if he'd be alright was I don't know,"
"Haven't seen Hayden and we got here on time for 8 am," Ford informed.
"Really?" Trayden asked, looking around. Sure enough, he didn't see his boyfriend at all. Trayden went over to Amy Mayden now. "Miss. Mayden; I'm here…" he reported knowing that she was keeping track of who came. "Sorry for being late," he added.
"The practice didn't start until 8:30 am. I told everyone 8 am to make sure you showed up on time," Amy smiled.
"Out of curiosity…Has Hayden checked in yet?" Trayden asked.
Amy checked her list. "Yep; he was here at 7:55 and one of the first to arrive," she said. "Why?"
"Because I can't see him in the room," Trayden admitted.
"Oh, he said he wasn't feeling well and going to go to the bathroom and then outside for some fresh air. I said it was okay as long as he came back in for 8:30," Amy smiled.
"Thanks," Trayden walked away.
"Hayden here?" Alicia inquired.
"Yeah, he told Miss. Mayden that he didn't feel good, and went outside for some air," Trayden nodded. "I'm gonna go check on him,"
"We'll come too," Alyssa offered. Trayden nodded again as he and the others left the open room where graduation would take place at 4:00 pm. Trayden checked the closest bathroom first and ruled it out as a place Hayden was. Going outside next, Trayden spotted Hayden against the wall, his left leg up and bent at the knee. Hayden held a cigarette between his fingers, taking a drag and then releasing the smoke upward.
"Babe?" Trayden said softly as Hayden looked over at him.
"Hey," Hayden greeted him, and the others.
"Are you alright?" Trayden asked.
"My Godfather ask you to check on me?" Hayden questioned calmly.
"What makes you think-," Trayden started with a smile.
"Tray…Not in the mood, babe. I have been standing here since 8:05 this morning; every one of you walked right by to get inside and didn't notice me. I saw that you just got here, and the fact you're back out in so little time tells me that you were looking for me and since none of you knew my mood was off today," Hayden informed firmly. "So did he call and ask you to watch me?"
Trayden sighed. "Yes…" he confessed. Hayden got off the wall and walked closer now; he kissed Trayden's cheek.
"Thank you for the honesty," Hayden said before stepping back and finishing his cigarette, putting it out, and tossing the butt away.
"So…Are you okay?" Syrus tried.
"Don't know. I'm running on about an hour and thirty minutes of sleep. I'm not sure how to feel, so I'm just taking the day as it comes," Hayden checked his phone; 8:27 am. "Come on, time to get back inside for practice," he added. Not arguing or wanted to upset Hayden; they followed him into the building.
. . .
[10:00 am]
"Well done, all of you. It's been a journey, and tonight will start you on a new one," Amy smiled at the end of practice. "Oh…Hayden. I had a request…"
"I already know where this is going…" Hayden sighed. "Let me guess…Since we've cut out a huge majority of the speeches other than yours and the valedictorians…You want to know if I'll play or sing something inspirational to send all the students off with at the end?"
"No…" Amy said nervously.
"I wouldn't advise you to lie to me…" Hayden remarked. "I am not in a good mood,"
"Fine, yes; that's what I was going to ask…For you to perform before the diploma process begins. And how are you not happy on a day like this? You're graduating high school," Amy tried, smiling a bit.
"You wanna know why I'm not happy about today? Maybe because the two of the most important people in my life can't be here. Maybe because I don't want to cross that stage knowing they aren't in the crowd screaming their heads off and trying to take as many pictures as possible. Maybe because my parents were murdered two years ago and won't get to see me graduate and I can't celebrate it with them. The biggest achievement of my life thus far has been surviving this long after everything," Hayden said coldly.
Hayden stepped out of line and headed for the door now, ignoring the silence and stares upon him while he walked away. "First of all, you can't ask me to come up with something an hour before the ceremony starts. Secondly, while I can find something in the next five or so minutes, I won't. Sorry, but I don't feel all inspirational today. This is nothing special to me. Graduating tonight…Doesn't mean anything to me. Not anymore. It's just another day," he pushed the door open and went out of sight.
"Should we follow him?" Syrus asked, looking at Trayden now.
"We leave him alone," Trayden said.
"What? Tray you just heard-," Alicia tried.
"I heard that he's having a hard time today, guys. Same as you. He didn't fly off the handle, and he's not breaking down. All he did was explain why today isn't good for him, and leave to probably clear his head before the ceremony starts," Trayden informed.
"What if he's not okay, and needs us?" Mindy tried.
"Then we won't be very far away, will we?" Trayden remarked. Agreeing that Trayden was right; the friends stood around to chat a bit until things started.
. . .
[11:00 am]
Everyone prepared lined up at 10:50 am as agreed, except for Hayden and it was now just fifteen minutes before the start of the ceremony. Hayden wasn't far, though; he was in the bathroom, already dressed in his dark brown pants and long-sleeve red button down shirt. Hayden's shoes were brown too, and he didn't bother with a tie; there wasn't much done about his hair, but that was to be expected. Hayden had on his black cap, and gown already as he arrived at 10:45 am and grabbed his stuff before others noticed he was even there.
"Where is he?" Syrus asked.
"Hayden wouldn't miss his graduation, would he?" Alyssa frowned.
"He might if it would be too much for him to deal with because his parents aren't here to see the big moment when he graduates. I know Hayden said it meant nothing, but it means the world to him," Trayden informed.
"What happens if he misses this?" Ford wondered.
"I don't know…I assume they'll mail his diploma to him, or he'll show up once this is over," Mindy stated. As final preparations began; the friends separated to get into line and walk into the main room. In the bathroom, that said out of order, but hadn't been locked; Hayden fell back first against the wall, looking up at the ceiling as tears formed.
"I can't…I can't do it…" Hayden let the tears slip down the sides of his face. Hayden lowered his head as he slid down the wall, bringing his knees to his chest; holding himself as he finally gave in and sobbed hard with his head on his knee caps. "I just can't do it without them here…I-I need them…I need you guys…Need you both," he cries.
A text message came through at 11:00 am as Hayden checked it from the screen.
Uncle Gabe, 11:01 am
We're all sitting to the right of the stage in section A. We'll be able to see you perfectly when you cross, kiddo. Love you!
Hayden stared at the message, the tears still falling. "I'm…Sorry, Uncle Gabriel…I c-can't do i-it…" Hayden lowered his head again.
. . .
[12:30 pm]
As they'd rehearsed for a week; the students filed out and took their seats in the metal chairs. The only people who knew Hayden wasn't among the group were his friends and boyfriend. Amy and the valedictorian already gave their speeches. The calling of students to receive their diploma had started at 12 pm, and it was already in the G last names. Trayden peered around; he still didn't see Hayden. Carefully getting his phone out, Trayden pulled up his messages with Hayden and tapped the text box.
12:32 pm
Where are you? Please tell me, baby. I'm really worried about you. I know this isn't easy for you; I know it hurts, but you can't miss walking the stage. Your parents might be gone in the physical body, but they are always with you, Hayden. Always in spirit. And we're all here for you. Please? Please don't miss this. Everything will be okay. They are here…I promise that your folks are here even if you can't see them.
Trayden glanced back at where his parents and Gabriel were. Around them were the parents or guardians or all his friends too. Dustin seemed to catch his son's eyes through the camera of his phone. "Rach…Text Trayden and ask him what's wrong," Rachel got her phone and texted Trayden.
Trayden felt his phone vibrate and saw the message from his mom.
Mom's Cell, 12:36 pm
Dad wants to know what's wrong.
12:37 pm
Hayden's not here. We never saw him show up at 11, and he didn't line up with us either. We're worried he's not okay.
Trayden sighed heavily as he looked forward. "Hayden Haddock!" the room clapped and cheered, but Hayden wasn't seen. Come on, Hayden…Please…Please? Trayden pleaded silently. "Hayden Haddock?" Amy called again. "I guess we'll-,"
"Wait! There he is, Miss. Mayden!" the next person in the line who have been called said quickly as Trayden's eyes turned quickly to see Hayden making his through the group on the stairs. Hayden hesitated to move any further once he was in front of the person who told Amy not to go ahead yet. Hayden's head turned up to where Gabriel said he would sitting, seeing Spencer in his arms and pointing to Hayden, clapping.
Hayden looked at the lights on the on the back wall, in the glare from the brightness; he swore he saw his father and mother standing there. His father held his mother closer, and both of them were smiling. Just as soon as Hayden blinked; the image was gone. Hayden felt another tear slip from his eyes as he lowered his head, using his bangs to hide his face as he walked across the stage. It felt miles long, but he reached Amy, who held out her hand to shake Hayden's. He did so and got his diploma from her.
"Well done, son!" Hayden froze hearing his father's voice.
"We're so proud of you, sweetheart!" came his mother's voice next. Hayden forced himself to look at the screen where pictures of the students graduating were shown. Hayden saw himself as a newborn in his mother's arms and his father right next to her. And then right beside that photo was the one of the last time he was with his parents in June, just a week or so before they had been killed. It was him between both of them; their hands on his shoulders.
"We love you, Hayden," that was all it took for Hayden to be unable to stop the tears. Hayden briskly got off stage and filed into where he was supposed to be seated in line with others. The closest to him were Mindy, Alyssa, and Katie. Alicia, Ford, and Syrus weren't far either. Tyler, Rylee, and Trayden were towards the back rows, but had a perfect view of Hayden, who kept his head down, totally dissociating from the rest of the ceremony; he couldn't believe Gabriel submitted those pictures and more than likely requested that recording from the Sophomore talent show at Archian Preparatory. Hayden only cried quietly; he managed to get himself out there and walk the stage, but now he wanted this to be over.
