ASCLEPIAS


2022; panravenc.


CHAPTER V

Confessions


"Come on, you can do better," Yuki mocks, trying to get a rise out of her opponent. "You practised this before, come on, dodge!"

Aoi is, contrary to what his peers would expect of him, not having a good time. Yuki is an excellent teacher―she's also a slave driver, and someone who likes pushing him to the limits of his abilities. Not that he's complaining: she's the best thing that's ever happened to him, his new-found brotherhood with that Gryffindor Third Year notwithstanding.

The onslaught of jinxes and spells Yuki throws his way are keeping him on his toes, and it's exhilarating, way more than Quidditch or, Merlin forbid, gobstones. He shudders just by thinking about it.

Their rather one-sided duel comes to an end about half an hour later, when Yuki's alarm goes off. She enjoys tutoring Aoi, and recruiting him for the Duelling Club is still one of her best decisions to date.

"Your strategy will be a lot more effective if instead of following an Impedimenta with a Bombarda, you go with a Leek Jinx, especially if your opponent is still on the defensive," she says, gathering her things before heading out, the lesson over. With a flick to his forehead, she adds: "Also, dodge. Just because you can take hits doesn't mean a Bat-Bogey Hex won't get to you."

Aoi nods, grinning at her even with that bloody nose he's still sporting, and she snorts. What a cocky Fifth Year. She wouldn't have him any other way.

In any case, she's got Advanced Arithmancy soon, so she bids him goodbye and disappears through the corridors with a bit of haste in her steps.

She would like to say it's a coincidence, that she's taking the long route towards the classroom because her legs hadn't been properly stretched out after that workout with Aoi and, really, why not walk for a bit―

But she's not in the habit of lying to herself, and she knows exactly why she's hurrying up and why she's going through the backyard instead of just taking the stairs to the seventh floor.

She knows he's going to be there. There's nothing about the way she takes a left instead of going up the stairs that's a coincidence.

Her heart, traitorous and greedy, jumps when her eyes lay on him. Messy black hair, eyebags, yellow tie, it couldn't be anyone else. He's leaning against the wall, talking casually with one of his friends, Hanami or something, and he's just―so fucking pretty.

It's unfair, really.

"Yuki," he says, voice deep and surprised, and by Merlin, she shouldn't be affected like this every time she hears his voice. But he smiles, and Yuki forgets her grievances. "I thought you were tutoring Tōdō?"

She steps nearer, skin erupting in goosebumps once his hand surrounds her waist. "We just finished. I'm on my way to Arithmancy, now," she waves her hand around. "I have to talk to you about something. Are you down for meeting up later?"

He makes a noise of curiosity, tightening his grip on her, and Yuki wishes she could say it doesn't send her heart racing as if it were the first time, but, again, she doesn't lie to herself.

"Sure," he answers, a bit confused but plenty casual. They don't tend to meet up on Wednesdays, since they're both busy: her, with tutoring and Arithmancy right after, and him with his Advanced Ancient Runes class not much later. "After dinner?"

Yuki grins and pecks his lips, unable not to, revelling in the faint red that tints his cheeks. "Sounds good." She turns her head towards his friend, and nods in acknowledgement. "See you later."

She can feel Chōsō's eyes as she walks away, and if she sways her hips a little―who can fault her, really?

What's left of the day passes quickly, her mind latching onto anything that can serve as a distraction for the conversation she wants to have with him. As great as she is at duelling―one of the best in Hogwarts, actually―the nerves she feels piling up until her meet-up with Chōsō are beating her.

Not that she lets anybody see it.

By the time she's finished with her dinner, she notices Chōsō's not on the Hufflepuff table anymore. He's probably already on his way towards their preferred meet-up spot, or waiting for her in some dark corner of the corridor outside the hall.

Okay. Let's go.

It'll be fine.

Right?

She greets him with a kiss on the cheek when she notices him a few meters away from the hall's door, and guides him towards the grounds. It's not curfew yet, so they won't be punished, and, anyway, she's a prefect. It's not like she's not allowed.

"How was your day?" He asks, walking besides her and gently rubbing her hand with his thumb. It makes Yuki's heart melt, and really, it's unfair.

She shrugs. "Like usual, mostly. The only interesting thing that happened today was Mei's extortion of Zen'in, who was boasting this morning about his prowess in potions or something. He's lucky he's got decent brains, otherwise all that ego would be for nothing." She rolls her eyes. Her fellow Slytherin are entertaining, sometimes, but Merlin can some of them be a headache and a half. Zen'in especially, that sexist prick. "What about you?"

Her boyfriend snorts, a chuckle escaping him. "My morning went well. Yūji got detention again after lunch, though. Eso told me he was pranking some Fourth Years who were bothering one of his friends, Junpei, I think?" He pauses his words, but not his steps nor his gentle caresses to her hand. "And I talked to Hanami about tutoring Kezichu for Herbology, the girl I was with this afternoon."

As always, when he talks about his brothers, his whole being brightens up, a smile playing around in the edges of his lips. She adores his love for his family, half-bloods and bastards from pureblood families that they are, and how he strives to protect them and prepare them for the outer world.

"Did she say yes?" Not that Yuki thinks she didn't. From what Chōsō's told her about his friend, she's kind. However, she's also in her Seventh Year, just like them, and Yuki knows with exceeding accuracy how stressful it can be to manage their workload and tutor someone at the same time.

But Chōsō nods. "I thanked her. She's a good friend, and an even better person."

They talk for a bit more, chatting about their days, before arriving in front of the Great Lake. It's time, then.

She's nervous. It's not the first time he makes her feel like this―she remembers the gymnastics her heart was making when she confessed she liked him for real, unsure of what his answer was going to be―but this concerns their future, and although she knows what reaction she wants him to have, it's not like that's the guaranteed outcome.

They sit down on the grass, moon reflected by the lake. It's a clear night, all the stars are out, and Yuki can identify a couple of constellations the Astronomy Professor managed to drill into her brain.

"So," she starts, the black-haired boy silent by her side. "Headmaster Tengen asked for me this morning." He nods, urging her to continue. She breathes in, and does so. "They were contacted by an old friend of theirs, a Duelling Master, after my last tournament. They said Miguel Santos wants me as his apprentice."

Yuki can't help the amusement she feels when Chōsō does a double take. "Miguel Santos? The twice over World Champion?"

She nods. "Yeah. I―" Yuki pauses, searching for the right words. "I know you already have your internship with St Mungo sealed. And that you want to stay here for your siblings. If I accept the internship, I―" Merlin, she thinks. This is frustrating.

"It won't be here," Chōsō ends the sentence for her.

"Yeah," she exhales, and the words taste like defeat. "It would be, at the very least, two years. Headmaster Tengen said it would give me the opportunity to see more of the world, since he travels a lot. I'm not sure," the blonde feels her breath shorten, eyes tearing up. "Of what should I do."

He hugs her, taking her body along and positioning her between his legs. They stay like that what seems like hours, Yuki comforted by the warmth and familiarity of his body against hers, his heart beating soothingly beneath her touch.

Yuki adores him. Loves him enough to waver on her dreams. She wants his reassurance, and she's sure he knows her well enough by now to know what she's looking for, bringing this up with him.

But she's also unsure if it's what he wants, to continue this relationship of theirs and become long-distance, with minimal chances to see each other during months.

She loves Chōsō enough to try. Even when she's only seventeen. Maybe because she's only seventeen, and she still loves with the recklessness of someone who's never had their heart broken before.

"I think you already know what you want to do," he starts, curling a piece of her hair in his index. "Or we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

Of course, he is right.

Her hands tighten their hold on his uniform, and he doesn't lose time hugging her closer. "Yuki, if it's because of me," because of us, "I wouldn't worry that much. I love you. That's why, if you have this amazing chance on doing something you love, I want you to do it."

She knows that. But why does it feel like letting go?

"I love my brothers, and they're not ready to stand on their own two feet. I can't leave just yet," he explains, voice serene, even with the slight wobble that betrays his own doubts. "But there are letters, and two-way mirrors, and portkeys," he leans back to make eye-contact with her, a hand coming to hold her cheek and clear out a tear Yuki won't admit she let fall. "I know you want to say yes to Mr Santos' offer. Do it," and he kisses her, right this moment. A quick peck, chaste, but so very loving. "I will love you from miles away if that's what it means."

Yuki laughs. She can't help it. It's choked off and ugly, this laughter of hers, full of relief and love and maybe a couple of tears, but she doesn't care. Impulsing herself with enough strength onto him to make them both topple over and fall, she hugs him tight and doesn't let go.

"You're such a sap," she teases, now at ease. Looking at his eyes, a dark purple so enticing she's lost herself in them multiple times, Yuki leans down to kiss him. Once, twice. Searching closeness instinctively, moving her lips against his, not wanting to let go. Asking silent permission to deepen them, letting her whole self concentrate on the point where their breaths intertwine.

Ah, she thinks, I love you.

It's not the first time she's come to the revelation, and yet―each one feels like her love is growing bigger, stronger, to the point where, soon enough, her chest won't be able to contain it.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I want to keep loving you.

"I love you," she whispers, breath directly above his.

He smiles at her, that gentle smile she wants to keep to herself, bottle up and never let go of. With his hair dishevelled, the poor light from the moon illuminating his features, dark purple holding a love for her she doesn't know what she did to deserve, Yuki has never seen a more beautiful sight.

He closes his eyes and guides her right back to their kiss, millimetres separating them when he murmurs her confession right back: "I love you, too."