A small oneshot about Lorelai during the end of S4. It doesn't totally fit in with the episode timeline but just imagine an extra, unseen hour! Hope you enjoy it!
Lorelai lets the magazine fall to the couch. She's read the same sentence ten times and still has no idea what it says. Usually, Lorelai would go pester Rory when she's bored like this and annoy her daughter with studying songs, but the house is empty. Rory is at school. The whole house seems so much quieter now. Rory is hardly a loud person but she was there, and now that she's gone the house seems empty. Things has been so busy with getting Dragonfly ready that Lorelai hasn't noticed so much but moments here and there hit her, each time like a punch. Lorelai can't stand it. Still, in a few days Rory will be home for summer and they'll go back to normal again. This year's been sad. Her little girl left and it was the right time, but it was sad. Rory's her best friend as well as her daughter and Lorelai's missed her. Sure, Rory's visited but it's not the same. Her best friend will be back and Lorelai can't wait.
The house right now is way too silent and Lorelai jumps up, grabbing her bag and keys in one motion. Her shoes are randomly split up and with a pang, Lorelai remembers the first time that happened after Rory moved out. She started to laugh, about to make a quip before remembering Rory wasn't there and, even though she made the joke to Luke later, it wasn't the same. How can it ever be the same? Finding the lone shoe, Lorelai leaves the house and nearly trips over Apricot who has strayed onto her porch.
"I do not appreciate this," Lorelai says sternly, the cats from the other morning fresh in her mind. "Just because I broke up with Jason does not mean I need one of you guys! I'm not a loser!"
Apricot blinks at her, giving Lorelai a large yawn before turning and trotting off.
"Hey, now that's just rude!" Lorelai calls after the cat. "I never said we couldn't be friends!"
Apricot doesn't bother turning back and gives a whisk of her ginger tail instead. Lorelai heads onto the street and sees she and Apricot had an audience; Jess is walking steadily along on the other side of the road intent, as usual, on reading something. Lorelai pauses, a mixture of discomfort and embarrassment hitting her. As well as sincerely hoping Jess didn't catch any of her yelling at the cat, Lorelai isn't sure if she should relay the story or not. Hey Rory, guess what? Your no-good ex saw me tell Babette's cat I'm not a loser! It's not a story they're going to laugh over. Lorelai doesn't know what Rory's response will be. She might laugh at the ridiculousness of it but she'll probably be a little sad. Rory's fine, she's stoic like Richard, but Lorelai doesn't want to remind Rory of Jess. She's moving on. Lorelai waits for a moment longer before shaking herself and stepping forward. She isn't going to call out but Jess looks up anyway, catching her eye. He seems as awkward as she feels, quickly looking away and back to his punk magazine which is clenched tightly in his hands. Lorelai is relieved that the feeling seems mutual, that he is walking hastily away from her and she does the same. She wonders why Jess is even walking down her street but is hardly going to ask. Even when he and Rory were together, Lorelai and Jess were never friends. She wasn't surprised when Rory started dating him but wasn't sorry when they split up either. It was never going to last with Jess, and thank God for that.
The town is almost ready for Liz and TJ's wedding. Lorelai has never seen so much wheat. Stars Hollow could be mistaken for Kansas and if Rory were here she'd be making Dorothy jokes right about now. The entire main street is blocked off and, as Lorelai makes a detour she makes a remark about needing the Scarecrow. No one seems to get it and, feeling a little foolish, Lorelai heads into Luke's. She feels a little awkward as she enters, unsure what to say about Jess, but Luke isn't there. Taking her coffee, Lorelai feels teenage relief. Things have been different with Luke lately. He's complimenting her more, noticing things and even asked her to Liz's wedding. They've been friends for years, he might have invited her anyway but it feels different. It's different in a good way, Lorelai thinks, but it's making her nervous. It's stupid, she's not sixteen, but she feels like a teenager trying to figure it out. Lorelai takes a large sip of coffee, reminding herself that she's a competent business-owner in her thirties and then winces as she burns her tongue. Maybe the competency is debatable. As she heads back up the street she catches sight of Dean and gives him a wave. Lorelai wasn't surprised when he and Rory broke up either but she was a little sorry. He at least kept Rory safe, not to mention the water bottle. Lorelai can imagine the expression on Jess's face if she ever suggested he change it.
Grabbing some groceries, Lorelai finishes her coffee and heads back to the house. She glances around, checking Jess isn't walking back before getting out her key and slowly lets herself back in. She has a million things to do but Lorelai isn't desperate to start them in the empty house. She is considering whether to go back to Dragonfly and risk Michel yelling at her over his lack of a desk again when her daughter suddenly emerges into the hall, coffeepot in hand.
"Hey!"
"Oh my God!" Lorelai exclaims, dramatically clapping her hand to her chest. "Rory, announce yourself!"
"Mother, I am here."
"Very good. What are you doing here?"
"Love like this is why I come home."
"I thought you had a final," Lorelai says, kissing Rory's cheek and her daughter nods.
"I do. I just had to get out of the room for a while so figured I'd drop off some boxes and surprise you."
"Mission accomplished. You have always been a surprise."
"Why yes, I know," Rory says, sighing as her mother adds, "Ever since your conception."
"I said I know!"
"I didn't say you were a bad surprise," Lorelai says, smiling. "Coffee?"
"It's why I'm holding the pot."
They go into the kitchen, pour the coffee and sit at the table with some cookies made by Sookie. Lorelai eats two, takes a deep breath and says, "Something happened earlier. It involves the J word."
Rory looks confused for a second and then says, "I said you could call him Jess."
"I know."
"So what happened?"
Rory's voice is even as she reaches for a cookie. Lorelai waits for her to take a bite before carefully telling her, "I yelled at Apricot and Jess was on the other side of the street."
"You yelled at Apricot?"
"She was on our porch."
"Of course," Rory says, finishing her cookie. "But what happened? You know, with Jess?"
"Nothing," Lorelai says, feeling a little foolish. "He looked up, saw me and walked off."
"Oh."
"He was reading a punk magazine."
"Sure."
Lorelai takes another cookie, not sure why that information seemed at all relevant. The story in itself seems totally irrelevant, now that she's told it, and Lorelai wishes she'd kept it to herself. She looks at Rory who seems composed, sipping her coffee, and shrugs as Lorelai asks, "Is it dumb that I told you?"
"No."
"I just never know if you want me to tell you when I see Jess."
"Mom, we went through this."
"I know, I just…" Lorelai's voice trails off. She eats her cookie and says, "It was weird he was headed down our street. I don't know why he'd walk this way."
"Shortcut to the bookstore," Rory replies. "You miss out the main square."
"Guess that explains it. It's kind of crazy there today too."
"Jess has to hate that."
Rory almost smiles and then ducks her gaze. Her short hair, which Lorelai still isn't totally used to, falls around her face. Lorelai waits, expecting Rory to elaborate a little, but instead her daughter says, "Kind of an Oz feeling, right?"
"Exactly!" Lorelai says and this time Rory does laugh. They joke back and forth but when Lorelai tentatively asks, "Is it okay that I told you?" Rory simply nods. She finishes her coffee, looking into the cup rather than at her mother and doesn't add to her thoughts. She feels further away this year. Lorelai knew it would be different, when Rory went to Yale, but it's different in a way she didn't expect. She used to be in tune with what Rory was feeling but now they're out of sync. Still, at least Rory seems okay with the information. Lorelai was afraid she'd be sad this year. She did expect Rory to date a little, maybe with the so-called Naked Guy, which hasn't happened, but maybe it's better for Rory to have a break from guy drama. She laughs as Lorelai adds, "If you and Jess were together you'd be totally mocking me over the Apricot thing."
"I can mock you without him," Rory says, getting up. "It's a very mockable story."
"Mean," Lorelai says. She lifts the coffee pot to pour a second cup but stops as Rory says, "I think I'm going to head back."
"Now?"
"Yeah. I still have studying to do."
"I know, but we're going to the grandparents' later anyway. You can study here."
"My books are there." Rory gives Lorelai a kiss. "I should go."
"Fine," Lorelai grumbles. "I won't be offended."
"You want me to pass my final, right?"
"Yes," Lorelai says sincerely, hugging her goodbye. "I'll see you later, sweets."
She waves as Rory drives away, feeling her familiar pride. Rory might have her eyes but has everything else Lorelai didn't. She has what Lorelai was supposed to have, what Lorelai was supposed to be. Lorelai never had that love for studying though. She wanted more of a thrill out of life. She dated guys like Jess, hell, she got pregnant at sixteen. Lorelai could have sworn her heart stopped when Rory said she might sleep with Jess. What would she have done if her daughter had, if Rory slipped up and told Lorelai she was pregnant? It's too horrifying to think about. But he's gone and Rory can move onto someone better. It was time for a Jess but that time's over – all girls have a Jess phase. Rory's making all the right choices. As she turns to go back inside, Apricot twines around Lorelai's legs and this time Lorelai laughs.
"Decided to give me another shot, huh?"
"Hey sugar," Babette calls, making Lorelai jump. "Apricot wants to explore, I hope that's okay."
"It's fine, Babette."
"Morey was playing her roaming songs. Was that Rory I saw just now?"
"Yeah. She's getting ready for her last final."
"Smart kid, that one."
"That's my girl," Lorelai says proudly. She and Babette talk a little longer before she and Apricot go inside. Lorelai is about to head back herself when Jess appears on the street again, this time with a bookbag in his hand. It seems Rory was right. He looks up and, against her better judgement, Lorelai gives him a nod. Jess cautiously nods back, glancing around her, and Lorelai calls, "She's not here."
"Okay."
"She was," Lorelai says. "She's back at Yale now."
"Okay," Jess says again. His voice is unclear and Lorelai looks away, wondering why she even spoke to him. It felt good to tell him Rory's busy studying though. She is over you! is what Lorelai refrains from adding. She is long over you!
"I only came this way because of the wheat," Jess says defensively and Lorelai nods.
"I get that. Makes you wonder where the Scarecrow is."
He looks at her carefully and, just as Lorelai starting to feel stupid, remarks, "The Scarecrow's setting up the wedding."
Lorelai laughs in spite of herself and Jess almost smiles. Instead, he looks at the bag in his hand and says, "I'm leaving."
"Okay."
"You going to the wedding?" Jess asks and Lorelai nods. Hesitating, he starts to ask, "Is -?" and then stops, saying instead, "Forget it."
"No," Lorelai says, knowing what he was asking. "Rory's not coming."
"Doesn't matter to me."
"Really?"
"Really," Jess says defiantly. "You're the one who brought her up."
Lorelai isn't sure how true that is but she doesn't fight him on it.
"Fine."
"Is she good?" Jess asks. The question surprises Lorelai out of her sarcasm and she says slowly, "Yes, she's good. She's great."
"I'm glad." Jess gives her a nod and before Lorelai can question him on it, tell him not to go near her daughter, he is gone, disappearing into the Oz of Stars Hollow. Lorelai stands outside a moment longer, wondering why she's feeling unsure. And having an conversation with Jess which didn't involve yelling and minimal sarcasm? What's Rory going to say to that? Lorelai is halfway though dialling her number before putting the phone down. Her daughter doesn't need any more distractions. She can tell her tonight, or maybe she won't tell her at all. Rory has bigger things to focus on, bigger things to become. She is her mother's daughter.
