Castiel hadn't been feeling well since Michael's lance but to be fair he had been at the verge of death which hadn't been a new thing for him but still... and then as if things couldn't get worse it began.

The one thing all angel dreaded with each atom in their existence.

Molting.

One of the most stressful and painful things an angel could go through.

Angels were one of the most dangerous creatures in existence but a molting angel could be twice as dangerous if provoked. Angels for the most part knew to avoid conflict with a molting angel out of understanding the situation from personal experience.

Demons on the other hand were more than aware how suicidal could it be to piss off a molting angel.

During this process most angels would find a quiet and dark place to hide at where no one would be able to either bother them or attack them.

After all molting used a great amount of their grace which is the one that generated new feathers which in return left them in a persistent state of exhaustion.

And an angel without their grace was vulnerable.

But Castiel was no common angel.

He didn't want to tell the Winchesters due the simple fact that he didn't found it important and the fact that he didn't exactly believed a human would be able to understand at all the extent of his situation considering a few things.

Plus it was embarrassing.

Castiel could almost hear Dean's teasing and while he wouldn't mind the hunter's usual teasing there was a line he didn't felt comfortable with the Winchester crossing.

Still.

Molting drained him more than he was willing to admit and the fact that he had to keep up with the Winchesters and their hunts wasn't good at all. He was in a persistent state of exhaustion and irritation where it took a tool on him to not straight up fall asleep or snap out.

And when he was not with them he would curl in his room and rest for as long as the discomfort would allow him. Hiding his feathers when they began dropping wasn't as easier as keeping his mood in control.

There was one time where he got an earful from Dean about personal space after he had to step on one of his feathers to hide it and got too close to his face for the hunter's comfort.

Still.

He didn't care.

He knew it was dangerous to go on hunts in his current state where his wings were so vulnerable but he didn't want them to believe something was wrong.

Then things began going downhill.

The itch became worse and in return so did his irritation.

With irritation came an attitude and with an attitude came fights.

Castiel should had left the moment the molting began.

•••••••••••••

Sam and Dean knew something was off about Cas. He had been more subdued than ever and would hide in his room for as long as he could. He no longer spent time in Sam's room watching TV nor stood in a corner to watch Dean either wash or fix the impala. Wouldn't join Mary for some tea before bed either.

Also.

He was twitchy.

If he wasn't rolling his shoulders he was either tugging at the tie around his neck or scratching his neck almost in an absent manner.

And either of them could ask him if there was something wrong but the angel had an amazing talent to curve those questions.

His face was more stone-like than the brothers could ever remember ever seeing it.

He sat as straight as a ruler and seemed to have gotten back the statue-like attitude which to be honest freaked Dean out a bit.

Still.

Castiel still went with them out on hunts and seemed as normal as ever if one chose to ignore the oddities.

And then shit hit the fan.

Right after a hunt to be more precise which meant adrenaline was still running in the blood and the wrong things could be said.

-What the hell was that back there?- Reclaimed Dean to Castiel who in return glared at him.

Their hunt had been a simple one. Get rid of a nest of vampires in Nebraska. And it had been going well until Cas decided to leave his position and blast the entire second floor into oblivion after a vampire had managed to slam Sam's head against a wall and leave him unconcious.

-I saved Sam.- Told Castiel matter of fact.

-You could have blinded him!- Snapped Dean to which the angel frowned almost in irritation.

-I didn't. I had everything under control and even so I healed him and I apologized. Sam said it was fine.- Said Castiel glancing at Sam who in return was about to open his mouth when Dean's shout cut him off.

-He always says he is fine! You were suppose to stay put like I told you to!

Castiel wasn't sure if it was the unbearable itch or the fact that he had hurt a few pin feathers while shielding Sam from the blast he himself caused but there was something about Dean's words that snapped something inside him and before he could stop it he spoke.

-You have no right at all to order me around.- His voice came out sharp and irritated.

-What was that?

-You don't get to decide what I can or can't do. I'm no longer bound to follow orders and even if I was I'm not gonna take orders from a human. I saved him and I healed him and still somehow it's still something to be mad about? Should I have let them kill him then? Would that had been better?

-Stop. Both of you stop right now.- Said Mary with her tone as firm as that of a soldier that left no room for arguments as she stood between Dean and Cas who had stepped closer to the first during his pissed rant.

Castiel glanced down at the hand on his chest before returning his gaze back to the woman owner of said hand. She gave him such a warning look. As if she believed herself more than capable to take him down.

Respect sparked in him for her.

And thus Castiel stepped back. Turning around and storming off. Lights flickering behind him as he did so.

-If you break one of those lightbulbs I'm gonna make you pay for it and change it yourself!- Shouted Dean.

-Dean stop that's enough.- Warned Mary to which she got an offended look in return.

-Enough? You heard what he said? He called me a human.

-You are human.- Pointed out Sam as a statement of fact.

-That's not the point! What the hell is his problem? Since when is he so bitchy?

-He is entitled to be pissed Dean. He saved me and all you did was complain about it and berate him for it.

-Still that doesn't give him the right to say what he said. I don't order him around and if I do it's because I know what I'm doing.

-He's an angel Dean. He's probably older than either of us could ever begin to fathom and he has been fighting since God knows when. Of course he's gonna get pissed if someone that could be practically a baby to his eyes orders him around all the time. Even so, he was pissed, we all say stuff we don't mean when we are angry.- Told him Sam with a sigh.

Still.

Even if he said that all he could think about was the high pitched ring in the air when he was regaining his consciousness back. The pained look on Cas before he realized Sam was awake and his face fell back into a neutral expression.

Something was off here.

••••••••••••

Castiel was done.

He could no longer keep it together and if he didn't stop the itching soon he was gonna commit either arson or murder. The pin feathers he had hurt earlier had stopped bleeding but they still hurt like a pulsating army of nightmares and that did nothing to quell his growing anger out of frustration and desperation.

If he ended up sinking to the bottom of some lake then so be it it wasn't as if he could drown. Plus if he did sink the itch would stop for so long he could almost savour the peace.

His wings were in no condition at all to be used so he took his truck and left.

Finding the closest lake he could come across was harder than he ever thought possible and half of the time he spent it giving up and rubbing his back against the seat in order to sooth the unbearable itch that threatened to drive him insane.

When he got to it he had to walk through the woods but he didn't care. He did left his phone and trench coat in the truck for safekeeping. It was dark and the air was humid and still all his mind could focus on was about the lake and how cold the water would be but at this point he didn't care.

He didn't care.

He needed to sooth the itch somehow and this was his best option or he feared next time he would indeed punch Dean for being so ungrateful.

As he came out he found that the lake was nice and for once the water didn't seem nor smelt like human pollution.

Good.

Castiel didn't think he would have the patience to look for another lake.

As he stood a few feets away from the water the sudden idea of having to wear wet clothes and risk damaging the seat of the truck didn't seem pleasing so he shed most of the clothes off aside from the underwear. He had spent enough time on Earth to grow a bit too used to humans' laws. Naked people in the open was for some reason wrong.

The water was cold as expected and while not what he would have liked it would have to do. He walked into the water and didn't stop until it reached his chest.

Then Castiel took advantage of his angelical weight and fell on his back and sunk into the water. Materializing his wings and spreading them at his sides to their full extent as he did so.

The second the cold water enveloped his feathers the second he felt his entire being shudder as the pleasure of the itch subsiding hit him with overhelming strength.

And as he laid at the bottom of the lake he found himself relinquishing on the solitude and silence of it. Though if he focused enough he could hear the fishes swimming. The gush of currents as the animals swam.

It was nice.

He disconnected himself from the vessel and curled in a corner of it. With no soul to take control back he had a lot of freedom in here and considering there was an angel at the bottom of the lake no demon would be able to touch the water without hurting itself which meant he was safe and could lay here for as long as he wished.

Or at least for as long as it took the Winchesters to find him.

••••••••••

Waking up to Castiel missing in the kitchen or library was a thing.

Realizing he was missing for real had been a completely different thing.

Because as pissed as he had been Cas would never leave without telling them where he was going to.

Still.

No one had tried to reach him in case he just wanted some time alone.

But then three days went by and neither of them managed to get him to either answer the phone or text back.

So Sam tracked his phone down.

He was surprisingly close.

Still.

Finding his truck in the middle of nowhere wasn't comforting at all let alone the fact that he had left his phone and trench coat in it.

-You don't think he left right?- Asked Sam voicing out Dean's own fears.

-No.

-He could be taking a walk in the woods. Didn't want the trench coat to get dirty.- Even to Mary that sounded like the poorest excuse ever. Still she doubted Castiel would disappear without trace for one single fight. She hadn't known the angel for that long but she was sure of something and that was Castiel's loyalty for her boys. He would never abandon them.

-Yeah. That could be.- Agreed Dean after a moment not believing his words at all. Who the hell took three days long walks?

No one.

That's who.

-We could look for him. I think there's a lake around here.- Suggested Sam as he remembered the map's part centered around these woods.

-Why the hell would he be at a lake?

-Maybe he is swimming.- Mary was aware of how wrong and stupid that sounded but she didn't care. Anything to get Sam and Dean to stop looking so on edge and to sooth her own anxiety.

Dean snorted at the mental picture of the angel swimming with his stone-like face.

The walk across the freezing woods is spent with the hunters looking in all directions possible for clues on where the hell Castiel was. The ground the sides the trees the ground again. Sam almost ran into a tree after focusing for too long on the horizon. Dean cursed Chuck when he almost slammed face first on a pool of mud.

But still neither of them stopped.

And as the Winchesters found the lake it was to find no sight at all of the angel.

Or at least until Mary caught sight of something.

-Do angels like walking around naked?

Her words got Sam and Dean's heads snapping towards her with looks that pondered if their brains processed her words right or what.

-His clothes.

Sam brows furrowed while Dean's eyebrow raised.

Because Castiel's clothes were indeed on the ground. But at least the underwear was missing so for the love of Chuck the brothers plead that Cas wasn't running around naked because neither of them needed that sight and less much their mother.

-He could be in the lake.- Tried Sam despite the fact that the small leaves, dirt and twigs on the clothes told that those clothes have been there for a while now. The rain must had taken its tool on them too.

-In the lake my ass. I swear to God if I see that bastard naked again I'm gonna shoot him.- Sentenced Dean. He still remembers when Cas had appeared naked and covered in bees in his car.

That was a sight that still haunted him.

Even more so when he looked at the backseat of his Baby.

Mary for her side bent down to pick the clothes up. Giving them a good squeeze to get rid of the water before giving them a good shake to get rid of the gathered leaves and twigs on them. Throwing them on her shoulder to have better range and not drop them again. The second she shook the shirt the second a feather fell.

It was the color what drove her to pick it up from the ground. It was a dulled rainbow shade with charred edges and still as she twirled it between her fingers and the light hit it a beautiful even more duller glimmer reflected back as if someone had hidden glittering dust in it while painting it.

And the feathers was the size of her hand.

-Were there birds seriously aiming to make a nest with his clothes?- Asked Dean as he caught sight of what his mother was holding not believing something that stupid could happen. For how long had Castiel's clothes been there that the wildlife had begun seeing it as part of the environment?

-Dean. This is not a bird's feather.- Told Sam who had asked for the feather in order to see it better. There were no birds in this area with this kind of feathers. Even so he doubted a bird could have feathers like this if one was to ignore the charred bits across the barbs and downy barbs. And then he looked at it closer and noticed the thin blueish tendrils hiding across the quill.

He had seen those tendrils before.

And the second he realized where he saw them the second his heart skipped a beat and the second he felt the overhelming need to drop the feather despite the sudden fascination pooling inside his chest.

Because he had almost forgotten about it.

The fact that Cas had wings.

-If not a bird from what is it?- His mother's question got Sam giving her a marveled look.

-It's an angel feather. I think- I think it's Cas'.

-He has never left feathers around. What the hell is it with that one then?

-Hello Dean.

Dean's first reaction to the sudden voice behind them was throwing a punch that his bones would have regretted if the cold hand of death hadn't caught his fist on time.

-Dude what the hell?! You are freezing!- Half shouted Dean which got Castiel looking down at his own hand.

-Yeah... I think I spent too much time under the water. Or it could be because human bodies get a lot colder when wind hits wet skin.- He looked back up at them with a tilt of his head. His hair seemed to still be damp and he looked a bit too pale for comfort but other than that if one is to ignore his current half naked state he looked fine.

-How did you found me?

-I tracked your phone.- Admitted Sam.

-Oh.

-Cas. Why are you walking around in underwear?- Asked Mary, something about this situation felt off and her suspicions were more than right when her question got Castiel rolling his shoulders and avoiding their gaze.

-What's the point of using clothes if I will get back in the water? Even so the rain ruined them I don't see what difference would it make to wear them now and it feels more comfortable like this.

-Get back in the water? Cas. You are freezing.- Said Mary worriedly touching his arm to confirm Dean's previous words.

-I'm not human. The cold doesn't bother me.- Told Castiel matter of fact as he pulled his arm away and rolled his shoulders. The itch was starting to become troublesome again. If he was an angel how come God couldn't make the pin feathers be less torturous?

-Is that why you are wandering around naked? I thought that was a Cupid thing.- Said Dean which in return got him a confused frown from the angel who looked down at himself.

-I'm not naked.

-You are in underwear. In the middle of the woods.

-So?

-Dude, just come here.- Castiel bit back the urge to protest and step back when Dean reached out for him. Taking his leather jacket off and throwing it around his shoulders.

-I don't need this.- He half protested resisting the urge to scratch as the leather teased his sensitive skin.

-I don't care. We are going back to the bunker.

Castiel wanted to disagree. He really did. But it wouldn't do good to voice his disagreement because if he did then he would have to answer and he didn't want to answer and despite all part of him missed his bed. He wanted to sleep. The single idea of sleeping brought back to him the actual weight of exhaustion his entire body was feeling.

So all he did was sigh and nod.

The walk back to the vehicles was silent or at least it was until Dean opened his mouth.

-Is this yours?

It was then that Castiel realized what Dean was holding between his fingers and dread settled in his stomach like stone.

-No.

Even if he said that Dean was able to see the lie clear in his face and man should Dean teach him how to lie better.

Still.

Sam and mom were giving him looks from behind Cas so all he did was play along.

-Okay then. So it won't matter if mom chooses to keep it with her right?- He said which got him a scandalized look from his mother in return but Dean knew she had liked it but still he made sure to read Castiel's face.

All he got was a shrug from the angel who despite the confusion in his face didn't seem to be against the idea.

Still even if Cas was to react negatively to the idea Dean wasn't about to leave an angel feather laying around for anyone to grab, less much if said feather belonged to Cas.

The rest of the walk was spent in silence and when the group reached the road Sam pulled a shirt from his duffel bag and gave it to Cas and there was something about seeing the angel wearing a huge plaid shirt with a leather jacket and stripped green pajama pants that gave him an hilarious vibe.

Even more so when Dean made him put on the trench coat too because God was the dude cold as death.

Considering how oddly tired the angel looked Sam chose to drive Cas' truck back to the bunker.

Dean and mom went in the impala and Sam and Cas in the truck.

-He's hiding something.- Said Mary matter of fact.

-I know.- Agreed Dean without taking his gaze off the road.- But as far as I can tell it doesn't seem to be dangerous. It could be one of his weird things. Like standing in a corner to stare at people without speaking a single word. Or interrogating cats. Or sniffing corpses.

That last one got Mary doing a double take.

Still.

-Has he done something like this before?

-No. I don't know. He never stops coming up with weird crap. This could be one of them.- Even if Dean said he knew something was off here. Cas looking like he wanted nothing more but to sleep and wandering around half naked. Who knows how long he spent in that lake and what the hell did he do that for at all.

Something was missing here and it irked at him to not be able to see it.

••••••••••

Meanwhile Sam drove with the silence of death.

Because Castiel had fell asleep not even a minute after getting into the truck.

Angel.

Sleeping.

That was not a good sign.

Sam side glanced at the angel not for the first time. Pondering what had happened back there and what was it with all the oddities he had gained these past weeks. What was it with the face he made before when he saved him.

Something wasn't adding up here.

••••••••••

-When did he fell asleep?- Asked Dean as he stared at the sleeping angel in the co-pilot seat of the truck. Dean had forgotten how eerie was it to see Cas sleeping.

-Not long after he got into the truck.

-Is that not normal?- Asked Mary not sure where was the worry for that single action coming from.

-Angels don't sleep.- Said Dean as he opened the door from the truck. At least Cas hadn't fell asleep against it so it was easier to work with.- Cas? Hey buddy we are here wake up.- He called patting the angel's face for more emphasis.

All he got in return was the angel turning away from him with a sigh.

-Come on man if you want to keep on sleeping do it in your room.- Called Dean shaking his shoulder. That did got a reaction from the angel though to be honest Dean wasn't sure what to think of the overly annoyed half asleep frown he got.- We are here. Get out.

Castiel muttered something in Enochian and looked like he was gonna go back to sleep so Dean grabbed his arm and tugged on it.

-Out. You have a bed and a room there's no need to sleep in a truck.- Castiel did allow himself to be pulled out of the truck and ended up leaning most of his weight against Dean which found out how incredibly heavy someone so skinny could be.

Sam sensed his brother's internal struggle because he was at his side in less than a second helping keep Cas from dropping to the ground and sleeping there for God knows how long.

Mary shut the door of the truck and followed them inside. Carrying Castiel's dirty clothes with her and the feather. She would need to throw the clothes in the washing machine.

Between Sam and Dean they took Castiel to his room. Mary opening the door for them.

Sam and Dean managed to get him to sit down on the bed and he fell back on the mattress which didn't seem to settle good with him because he groaned and rolled on his side.

-Come on. Legs up man because believe me when I tell you you are gonna regret sleeping with them hanging off like that.- Told Dean as he took on the way uncomfortable position Cas was willing to sleep in.

All he got was more Enochian gibberish.

-I have no idea what you are saying. Come on. Legs up.- Said Dean again but this time he grabbed his legs and with an annoyed sigh got him to finally right himself on the bed. Laying on his front and with arms at his sides.

And once settled he moved no more.

Mary was the one who took it upon herself to cover him with the blanket. Tucking him in as if the angel was her own child.

And then her foot came into contact with something underneath the bed. And as she glanced down she felt her blood run cold.

-Mom? What is it?- Asked Dean alarmed when he caught his mother's sudden pale frame. He watched her kneel on the floor before picking something up from the floor and as she brought her hand up with a handful of feathers the brothers felt their hairs stand on end.

Sam and Dean didn't waste time to round the bed and their blood ran cold when their gaze fell on the bunch of feathers scattered all across the floor under the bed. Dulled colors and for the most part charred aside from broken handfuls and the few half naked quills.

Still.

Those were without a doubt similar to the one that had dropped from Castiel's shirt.

-Son of a bitch.- Breathed out Dean as his gaze fell on the sleeping angel. Because what the hell was this? What the hell was happening? Dean was gonna kill the bastard if he did something behind their backs.

-Dean.- Sam grabbed his brother's arm knowing full well that if he didn't got Dean out he would grab Cas and shout at him. He could understand the horror of the situation.

Because those were angel feathers.

Cas' feathers who had never been seen until now and while Sam would had understood the angel losing one or two there was something about that kind of quantity that made him feel sick.

Because why was this happening?

It made no sense at all.