The day started like any other. Jess popped out of bed at 6:30 am. Nick grumbled, rolled over, and smothered his head with a pillow. She rolled her eyes and turned off her alarm. Her outfit– a teal blue dress and a yellow cardigan– hung off her closet door.
After changing, she wandered into the kitchen. Starting a pot of coffee, she rooted around in the cupboards before moving onto the fridge. A lone cinnamon roll sat near the front. She smiled to herself, picking it up. A cinnamon roll was the perfect way to start a morning. She put it on a plate and stuck it in the microwave for a few seconds.
The coffee started brewing as she took a bite of her food. A few moments later, she heard a thud come from her bedroom. "Good morning, Nick!" she called down the hallway.
By the time Nick emerged into the kitchen, she'd already finished the cinnamon roll and poured herself a cup of coffee. He headed straight for the coffee, only turning to face Jess once he took a sip. "Did I smell a cinnamon roll?" he asked.
She narrowed her eyes. "Did you bring home a cinnamon roll yesterday?"
"No."
"Then you didn't smell a cinnamon roll," she replied. Where the cinnamon roll came from would be a concern for later.
"I did, Jess!"
She stood, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you after school, okay?"
He air-kissed her back. "Okay. Could you bring home cinnamon rolls?"
When she raised an eyebrow at him, he sighed. "I guess I can take a break from writing to grab some from the bakery. But I'm eating them all then."
"Fine by me. Have a good day."
"Love you."
She smiled at him, her hand on the doorknob. "Love you too."
While driving to school, she hit a patch of traffic. She groaned. Not a good way to start off a morning. She took a sip of coffee from her travel mug and turned the radio volume up. The scowl from her face quickly disappeared as soon as she heard Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do" playing. And on a stroke of luck, the song had just started, allowing Jess to listen to and sing along to it entirely. After that, traffic started moving at a normal pace again.
When she pulled into the staff parking lot, a coveted spot by the sidewalk was open. She checked to make sure it wasn't a reserved spot– it wasn't– before she parked. The sun shone brightly as fluffy white clouds slowly drifted through the sky. She closed her car door. Today was going to be a good day, she could feel it.
Jess sighed as she walked into the loft. Her day at school had been less than ideal. First, after performing a song about grammar, instead of the usual applause she received, all the students simultaneously pelted her with spitballs and crumpled up pieces of paper. Then, she had tripped, barely catching herself as she entered the teacher's lounge for lunch. Unfortunately, her soup couldn't be saved. It had scalded a teacher's leg, sending them to the emergency room. As if her day couldn't get any worse, her car had gotten a giant silver scratch down the entire body with no note or potential suspects.
All she wanted to do was curl up on the couch with Nick and complain about her day. "Nick, you'll never believe..." she trailed off as she noticed the group of people in the living room. Spotting a cake on the table, she quickly recovered. "How happy I am to be celebrating Cece's second trimester!"
She painted a smile on her face and joined the group on the couch. "Sorry," Nick whispered to her. "Schmidt decided to have the party here last minute. I texted you about it."
Her brows furrowed. "No, you didn't."
He pulled out his phone, showing her. Her hand went to her dress pocket, then through it. Sighing, she pulled her hand out of her ripped pocket. "My phone must've fallen out of the hole in my pocket."
Of course, it did. It was just the way her day was going.
"I want Chinese food," Cece demanded as Nick opened his mouth to reply to his girlfriend.
"Anything for you, my love," Schmidt replied, pulling up the website for the nearest Chinese restaurant on his phone before passing it to her. "You guys can order too," he addressed the rest of the group. "It's on me."
Once Schmidt's phone had been passed around, he placed the order. "It'll be ready in... fifteen minutes!?"
"I ordered almost everything in the restaurant," Winston commented. "And they can really get all that together in fifteen minutes?"
"I'll go grab it," Jess offered. "I could use a walk anyway."
"Are you sure? Cuz I can just pop over," Winston remarked.
"I'm sure, guys. I'll be back in less than a half-hour."
"You better be," Cece muttered under her breath.
Jess opened the outside door, stepping outside. She breathed in deeply and stood still for a moment, letting the light breeze ruffle her hair. Once the moment passed, she strolled down the street.
"This is for the F you gave us!" a boy's voice yelled.
She turned, searching for the unhappy student. As she inspected a line of parked cars across the street, four boys each positioned something on cars' hoods. It took her a moment to realize what they had pointed at her. Paintball guns. She took a step back, but it was too late. The boys opened fire on her.
When the first couple shots missed, a wave of relief washed over her. She'd be able to make it inside without any stains or bruises. Then, red paintballs pelted her shoulders and arms, sending sharp stings of pain throughout her appendages. "Hey!" she protested as one hit her square in the chest.
Another clipped her cheek. Immediately, the taste of blood filled her mouth. She raised her arms in a weak attempt to protect her head from the barrage of paintballs. One hit her glasses lens with a smack. Jess had never been more glad she wore glasses in her life.
Pivoting on her heel, she began to dash inside. Then, a boy shot her in the back of the knee. And everything went black.
"Hey, Jess?" she heard a voice ask softly.
She blinked a few times until the room came into focus. All her friends' faces stared back at her. "Wait, am I in a hospital?" she asked no one in particular.
"After you weren't back in fifteen minutes, Cece sent me to go get the food," Schmidt started.
"And we heard him screaming from the loft," Winston added.
Schmidt glared at him. "Is that really relevant to this story?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Anyway, I found you laying on the pavement–"
"And we all ran down," Nick interrupted, giving Jess's hand a light squeeze.
"Not gonna lie, I thought you were dead," Winston commented.
"You were laying in an unnatural position with red splotches on your clothes and skin," Aly elaborated. "It looked like someone had put a couple dozen bullets through you."
Jess frowned, trying to recall what had happened. "I don't remember being shot."
"Honey, that's probably a good thing," Cece replied. "It was probably traumatizing."
"I mean, I was traumatized just seeing you," Schmidt shared.
"I thought I was gonna lose you," Nick told her quietly. "I didn't wanna lose you, Jess. I love you so much."
She gave him a small smile. "I love you too, Nick." She cleared her throat and looked at her friends. "So, lemme hear the damage."
Cece grabbed her medical chart. "Let's see." Her eyes skimmed the page. "You broke your ankle and dislocated your knee. Uh, you had a bad concussion, possible fractured skull. Other than that, you're just really bruised."
Jess put her head in her hands. "What the hell happened?"
"We're looking into it," Aly reassured her. "As far as we can tell, you were ambushed by a group of people with paintball guns."
"We're thinkin' you were targeted specifically. You know, since that's such a weird crime and they used all of their paintballs on you," Winston informed her.
"We have to ask you a few questions about potential suspects."
"Hey, you can interview her later," Nick remarked. "Right now, Jess needs some rest."
"What Jess needs is some drugs." Jess chuckled awkwardly. "I am in a lot of pain. It hurts to move my eyes."
"I can go get a doctor," Cece offered.
Jess put out her hand to stop her friend. "No, Cece, you don't have to."
Cece shook her head. "I insist." She walked, stopping right outside Jess's hospital room door. "I need a doctor!" she yelled.
Almost immediately, a handful of nurses and doctors ran over, all of them looking at her worriedly. "My friend needs some drugs," she informed them with a smile.
"She likes doing that," Schmidt told Jess. "Even if she doesn't need anything, she just likes making a ton of people drop everything to check on her."
Jess laughed. "Well, this time it came in handy."
A doctor approached her, carrying a clipboard. "Miss Day?"
"I am she."
"Your friend says you're in pain?"
"Best friend," Cece interjected.
"Yep, everything hurts," Jess answered.
"She said it hurts to move her eyes" Nick added.
"Well, that would be the listeria," the doctor commented.
"Wait, I was shot and I have listeria?"
"Excuse me, what's listeria?" Schmidt asked the doctor. "I'm asking for Nick."
Nick rolled his eyes but said nothing.
"It's a bacterial illness," the doctor said.
"How'd she get it?" Nick questioned.
"Listeria is a food-borne pathogen."
"So... something she ate?"
"That would be correct."
"Damn cinnamon roll," Jess muttered.
"Wait, so there was a cinnamon roll? I knew I smelled one!" he declared.
"Now's not the time," she replied. "Where did it even come from anyway?"
He shrugged. "Beats me."
"It was just sitting in the fridge by itself."
Both Schmidt's brows raised. "So you're telling me that you ate a strange unpackaged, unwrapped cinnamon roll you found in your fridge?"
"It was near the front!" she protested.
"You animal! Nick is really wearing off on you."
"Hey! Don't call her that!" Nick retorted.
"I'll be back with your medications," the doctor told Jess over Nick and Schmidt's arguing. "We'll have to keep you overnight for surveillance to make sure your head has stopped swelling."
"My head was swelling!?"
The doctor ignored her. "I'll be right back with those medications."
As soon as the doctor left, she turned to Cece. "What time is it?"
"Almost nine pm, why?"
"Can you log onto my email?"
Cece eyed her warily. "Sure, babe." A moment later, "I'm in."
"Send an email to my class and the principal."
A few minutes passed. "Okay, what do you want me to say?" she asked after finishing typing out email addresses.
"Start it with 'good evening'."
"That makes you sound like some sort of vampire," Winston remarked.
"Not helpful," Cece told him. "What next?" she directed toward Jess.
"Unfortunately, I will have to reschedule the quiz, and will have a sub this week." Jess paused to let Cece catch up. "Against my best wishes, I have been shot and am being treated in the ER."
"You've been shot against your best wishes?" Schmidt questioned.
"Uh, yeah, I'd say I was."
Nick shook his head at Schmidt, subtly letting him know to drop it. Fortunately, Schmidt took the hint.
"I also have listeria," she dictated to Cece.
"You're sure this isn't too much information?" Cece asked, quirking a brow.
"If I am alive, the quiz will be moved to Monday of next week," Jess continued.
"Alright," Cece muttered under her breath, continuing to compose the email.
"Keep reviewing the texts and writing journal entries. Best, Ms. Day."
Cece finished the email and quickly scanned it for spelling errors. "And sent," she informed her best friend as she hit the send button and then the power button.
The doctor returned a short moment later with a small plastic cup of pills along with a slightly bigger paper cup of water. She set them on Jess's overbed table. "Here you are, Ms. Day." She eyed all Jess's guests. "And visiting hours are over. Say your goodbyes and let Ms. Day get her beauty sleep." The doctor then left to give them all some privacy.
"We'll be back to ask you some questions tomorrow," Aly informed Jess. "We're gonna catch the bastard–"
"Or bastards," Winston interjected.
"Or bastards that did this to you," she finished.
"The bad guy, or guys, will be in jail before you know it and the streets will be safe for Jessica Day again," he reassured his friend before following Aly out.
"Hopefully you've learned your lesson," Schmidt told Jess.
"What lesson?"
He sighed. "How about the one where you don't eat food you don't recognize?"
"It was in my fridge, Schmidt! I didn't think it would be diseased!"
"Still! That's disgusting, eating food that randomly appears in your refrigerator."
Before Jess could retort, Cece chimed in. "Get some rest, babe. We can eat my second-trimester cake together tomorrow if you're feeling better." She kissed her hand before pressing it to Jess's.
Jess squeezed her friend's hand before letting go. Cece's hand grabbed Schmidt's, pulling him out of the hospital room. "She's sick and hurt!" Jess heard Cece hiss to her husband. "She doesn't need your snarky remarks. You're apologizing to her tomorrow morning."
Schmidt's reply was a faint murmur as they continued down the hallway.
"I'll visit you first thing tomorrow morning, as soon as visiting hours open," Nick commented. "I love you, and I'm really glad you're okay."
"Well, more alive than okay," she corrected.
He chuckled. "Either way." Pressing a kiss to her lips, he headed out the door. He paused in the doorway to glance back at her, a look of pure relief crossing his face, before actually leaving.
She smiled at the open door where he had disappeared seconds ago. Her day hadn't ended on such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad note after all.
A/N: Story inspired by /AFwotDS
